Well, here's the second chapter! I told some of you this would be up Sunday night, and it's now Thursday. Not good. I had a lot going on, e.g. concerts, dress rehearsals, performances... Sorry! But it's here now! It starts out Kurt's POV. Hope you enjoy it! I'd absolutely love to know what you think!
Here, in this moment, I could stay forever. Everything is perfect. Because Blaine is perfect. Wow. I'm in love with this boy. And he deserves to hear that.
"Hey Blaine?" I ask quietly. He looks up at me with those pretty hazel eyes. And those eyes just confirm it for me.
"I love you." And then I wait for his response. For him to say he loves me back, for him to laugh nervously for a bit and then kiss me, or for him to be so surprised that he starts hyperventilating and I have to calm him.
"W-what? No...I-I" Blaine stammers and stands up. Wait, what? He doesn't love me back? I thought I moved him. Is this not what I thought it was? Did I make it all up in my head again?
"Blaine?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady. He simply looks at me once and murmurs
"I'm sorry." Then he's gone. And I'm alone.
I'm awake, and faint light is streaming through my eyelids. But I don't get up. Not today. Blaine doesn't love me. In fact, we're probably not even still together. Of course, I have school today, but he'll be there. I just know it will hurt too much.
"Kurt, buddy, get up." My dad says gruffly. Yep, there's no way I'm getting out of school today.
I drag myself through my morning routine, not giving much care to my clothes or hair. What's the point?
But still, somehow I end up at school, staring blankly into my locker. First period, history, is in five minutes. And then second period, cooking, with Blaine. He only took the class to be in it with me, and I'm sure that now he wishes he hadn't.
"Hey Kurt! How was your-Oh, what? White boy, what is wrong?" Mercedes says from my right. She's eying my unusually simple outfit of jeans, a gray t-shirt, and Converse. When I'm upset, I show it through my clothes. I slowly turn to look at her and sigh.
"I really don't want to talk about it. Can you just go away?" I ask weakly.
"What? No, Ku-" I cut her off with a tired, pleading look. She gives me a mixed expression of confusion and worry, but nods and walks on. I slam my locker shut and trudge down the hallway.
I guess I'm just invisible to him now. Not even a part of his life. He hasn't looked at me the entire class, and has opted to sit with a random band kid, so I'm stuck chumming up with Jacob Ben Israel. Funny, he doesn't look all that happy either. Maybe he's just upset that he wasted all this time with me.
*POV CHANGE*-Blaine
He looks so sad. But I'm not sure why. He's finally rid of me. He doesn't have to be pulled down to my pathetic level. But still...he looks so lonely. And I've made him feel that way. Oh god, I'm horrible. This was all supposed to be best for him, and now he's worse off than when he was with me.
I jump slightly as the bell rings and grab my books. As soon as I leave the classroom, Mercedes grabs my arm.
"Alright, Mr. Dapper, what did you do to Kurt?" She says threateningly. I flatten up against a locker and look at her with panic.
"Or god forbid, what did Kurt do to you?" She adds as an afterthought, her grip on me loosening just a little. I'm wracking my brain to find words when Kurt comes out of the room and Mercedes captures him too.
"Look Klaine, I'm not dumb. You two are not sunshine and rainbows today, and that needs to be fixed. Now, you can either talk it out right here, or I'll have to resort to drastic measures." She hisses the last two words, her expression darkening. I want to exchange a confused look with Kurt, but no.
"Uh..." I say.
"Ok, I'll take that as drastic measures then." And with that, she's walking down the hallway. I turn my back on Kurt and walk towards my locker.
Puck and Quinn rush out of the choir room, looking puzzled. I shrug and head inside. To an empty classroom. Wait, what? And then Kurt walks in and sees the situation. And we both hear the lock click.
"Yeah, that's right, and you're not coming out until you kiss each other better!" Rachel yells from outside the door. I sigh heavily and sit down hard in a chair.
"Well, there's not much to say." Kurt says bluntly.
"Look Kurt, I didn't do that because of you, it's all my fault." I tell him.
"No, it's my fault for allowing myself to believe that someone as perfect as you would ever love me." And that's just so wrong, for him to think that he was the lesser one in this relationship. It's sickening, for someone as beautiful and wonderful as him to have such low self-esteem. I mean, I'm just trash. I have no reason to feel good about myself. But I've got to tell him, just so he can understand and move on.
"Kurt, no. I walked out on you last night because I can't be loved. Sure, I can love others, but I'm too damaged to have anyone feel the same." I pause and take a deep breath. "Maybe it sounds shallow, like I'm just fishing for compliments, but that's not it." I look at Kurt's face, searching for emotions. I only pick up bewilderment.
"W-what?" He says. I sigh.
"Do I really need to repeat it?"
"Blaine, that's awful. You are absolutely amazing. You are kind, charming, compassionate, beautiful, and a whole bunch of other lovely adjectives that I can't think of right now because I'm so flustered. I had no idea that you were this insecure about yourself. And it's terrible that you feel that way about yourself, because it's just so untrue. You are completely and utterly lovable. And maybe I shouldn't be telling you all of this, and I'm probably making a fool out of myself, but I just can't shut up. And I know you don't feel the same way, but hopefully you can build up your self-esteem so that you can have a wonderful relationship with someone else." He seems to want to continue, but he stops. I let the words sink in, and then reply.
"Wait, you think that I don't love you?" I ask incredulously. It's quite the opposite, actually.
"Um, well, Blaine, of course I do. I mean, remember last night, when I told you I loved you and you just-" I interrupt him yet again.
"Of course I love you, idiot. You're perfect and adorable and you smell like cookies and rainbows." I say. And then groan as I realize what I just said. Kurt giggles, tilts my head up, and kisses me. It's a kiss of apology, sympathy, reassurance, and most importantly, love. We do have to eventually break apart for need of oxygen, though.
We smile at each other, and know nothing else needs to be said. I bring him in closer to me and he rests his head on my shoulder. We can work on my self-esteem later, but right now this is we need. Because I'm in love with Kurt, and Kurt's in love with me. I'm sure Rachel will probably barge in here in a few minutes and demand that rehearsal starts now that Klaine is back together, but that's ok. We have plenty of time to cuddle, kiss, laugh, and cry together. In fact, I think we've got the rest of our lives.
Thank you guys for reading this! It was great for me to experiment with angst and get such wonderful feedback. If you'd like, you can check out my other stories. :) Bye!
