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He's watching her again. You just don't get it. You don't understand what pulls him to her so magnetically. He's got worse over the past few years you think. You'll be telling him about the prank Wormtail helped you with, the new Quidditch move you've invented, the latest girl you're seeing, and he'll drift away. Not physically, but mentally he's with her. He always is. You ask him why, over and over. Because you just don't get it. You have nothing against her. In fact you enjoy spending time with her, conversing with her. She's funny, intelligent, and beautiful. You think in another life, it might have been you. You can see the attraction. The thing you don't get is why he continues to chase her. You understood the first time, you understood the second time. He'd been rejected; he'd never been in that situation before. He was determined to get the right answer. What you didn't understand was the 17th time, the 23rd time, the 46th time. You don't understand why he didn't give up. And that's why it could never have been you.
You've never put much effort into anything. You've never needed to. Girls, school, Quidditch, its all come so easily to you. Or at least that's what you tell yourself. The only thing you've worked hard for is to get rid of the preconceptions that come with your name. You think that's working out hard enough, no need to add chasing a girl for 3 years to that. Let them come to you. Which they do, over and over. Moony berates you for it, moving on so quickly, leaving a trail of broken hearts behind, he says. You've never seen it like that though. You just want to have fun. You didn't get much of that at home, and out in the real world, you know you'll face things much worse. You're already being blamed for things. Even if you weren't, you'd still feel guilty. It's a part of you, that darkness, it's hidden, but it's always there. Dumbledore can see it. You think on occasion Prongs can see it, and you know she can see it. She looks at you sometimes, not with pity, it's something else. You're not sure what, you've never asked her. You don't intend on either. That's why it could never have been you. Because unlike Prongs you won't confront that demon.
He says she has eyes that can see into your soul. Sometimes you believe that. You can see those piercing green eyes when you try and sleep. They're in your nightmares. The ones about home, about the brother you've lost to 'the cause'. When you see those eyes you know it's because she sees it too. You're somewhat wary of her, because of her ability to read you better than anyone. That's why It would never be you. You like the secrecy, the mystery that surrounds you. Delving into it would ruin everything. You know what you stand for. The Marauders. The Light. You don't want any more self doubt to inhabit your mind, because sometimes you question it. That's the part you don't tell people. The part that says, maybe the hat was wrong. You have bad in you, it's why you told Snape about the Whomping Willow. You think back to that first day on the platform. If you'd never met him, if they'd got to you first you'd have followed them into hell. You'd have hated every second of it, but that courage was only bought out by him. He accepted you straight away. That's what made you change that day. From hiding your opinions, to standing up for them. The first in your line.
That's why it never could have been you. You have to prove your worth to everyone who doesn't accept you straight away. They both did. That's what makes them perfect for each other. You're glad he never gave up, you won't ever say it, but it's given you hope. You can see she's starting to feel the same about him. If fact, you've even caught her staring across the common room before, when she thinks no one's looking. You've never told him. He's cocky enough as it is. Besides you enjoy watching him make a fool of himself. You realise that whilst you've been sitting, contemplating things, you've not listened to a single thing Minnie's said. You can see her staring at you, you wink at her. She gives you detention. You're only here for fun. The work starts when you leave in 6 months time. You're going to have to prove yourself to become and auror. Because really, what other career option have you got? You want to lock your entire family away. They've ruined lives, including yours and you want to stand away from them. Fighting the right fight. Right now, that's convincing her that he's the one for her. And when she does, you vow, you'll die for them.
That's why it will never be you. Because for you there are bigger things. They accepted you, and you'll do everything to prove them correct.