Disclaimer: Labyrinth doesn't belong to me. Any Goblin names or practices mentioned are taken from The Goblin Companion by Brian Froud and Terry Jones.
Authors Note: I love waking up to an inbox full of reviews. I'm glad you guys are enjoying it. Here's another chapter for you. Much shorter but I hope just as fun.
By the Pricking of My Thumbs...
Sarah sat at her desk typing up her latest column. She sighed heavily, quickly glancing over her last paragraph which addressed the best way to attract a man using your eyes. It was for a fairly successful dating website but every time she wrote a piece like this she rather felt like she was selling a piece of her soul. She had been struggling to make it as a legitimate writer for several years now, ever since she had left university. She made her living off of freelance jobs, usual advice and comment columns and review pages but she was far from becoming what she'd always hoped she would be. A well respected journalist and fiction writer. There was a squeak and thunk and she glanced down at Dogsthorpe, who had entangled himself in several rubber bands and fallen into her desk tidy. She rubbed her temples and stared at the ceiling for a moment. So this was her life; writing dodgy advice columns and babysitting goblins. Carrie Bradshaw, she was not.
She picked up the tiny goblin and carefully helped him untangle his limbs from the elastic before setting him back on the desk.
"Why are you here again?"
He shrugged before grabbing a pencil stub and a scrap of paper. He frowned at it seriously before beginning to write. Or at least, that's what Sarah assumed he was trying to do. It all looked like sanskrit to her. She returned to her column, erasing a line about fake lashes and starting on a paragraph about the power of playing with your hair when a voice behind her made her jump.
"My Lady."
She spun around, her hand to her chest, and glared at the creature in front of her.
"Sir Diddymus. Don't do that."
"I am sorry my lady" The fox looked abashed as he removed his hand and bowed low. "I did not mean to startle you."
She dropped her glare and smiled, glad to see her friend. "That's all right. Just... give me a heads up next time, yeah?"
"A heads up, my lady?"
"Just let me know before you pop by."
"Oh, of course my lady. I am utterly ashamed at my lack of manners. My remorse knows no bounds. My..."
Sarah clamped a hand down on his muzzle before he built up too much speed. "Really, it's fine. Now, what can I do for you? Or is this just a social call?"
"I was rather wondering, my lady, if I may peruse your collection of literature. You see, his highness has closed of the castle to non-essential staff and I cannot access the library."
"Of course you can. Knock yourself out." She waved towards her book shelves as she turned back to her work.
"You are the very essence of kindness Lady Sarah."
A while later, Sarah wasn't sure how long, Sir Diddymus gave a surprised bark. "My Lady?"
"Mmm?" She was glaring at a particularly troublesome sentence.
"Why is there a goblin asleep on a copy of... "The Satanic Verses"?"
"What...? Oh, for goodness sakes."
She marched over to the shelf and hefted the small but weighty goblin off his perch. He didn't even wake, simply snored loudly and curled up when she deposited him at the end of her bed.
"If I've told them once I've told them a hundred time nap..."
"Somewhere you can sees up so you don't squish us."
Dogsthorpe grinned up at her, proud of himself as he finished her sentence. Sir Diddymus frowned up at her.
"May I enquire, my lady, why exactly are you letting goblins slumber in your bed chambers? It can hardly be proper."
Sarah slumped back into her chair and eyed the fox carefully. "They just, they won't leave. I mean, they've always popped by to visit and break things and generally be nuisance, but for some reason over the last few months there's always at least one of them around. All the time. I found that one..." She gestured to the snoring goblin on her quilt. "Hiding under the passenger seat of my car a few weeks back. I can't explain it and they won't stop so I've had to put down some ground rules."
Diddymus trotted over to her desk and glared up at the goblin who was still scribbling on scraps of paper.
"You there! You... Goblin. Explain why you are invading my lady's chambers in such a manner. If you do not provide a satisfactory answer I will be forced to eject all of you forthwith."
Dogsthorpe barely spared the fox a glance, concentrating intensely on his writing.
"Must make sure the ladies don't harm the Lady. Goblins keep watch."
Sarah rolled her eyes. "Or cower in fear. Hey, same difference, right?"
Dogsthorpe looked at Sarah and she was surprised to find his gaze very serious.
"The ladies are up to no good. You takes my word."
She couldn't quite find the words to answer the suddenly sincere creature. "I... eh... Ok?"
His little head suddenly whipped around to stare at the door. "By the pricking of my claws, something wicked this way paws."
She stared at him. "Did you just quote... You know what? Never mind."
Diddymus squinted at the goblin before heading back towards the bookcase and Sarah had just resettled herself in front of her laptop when the door swung open, hitting the wall with a loud bang. Her head shot around and standing in the door was a rather angry looking Christie. She was dressed head to toe in black and stormed into the room without invite.
"Where are they?"
Christie strode over to Sarah's dresser, looking closely at what was on top.
Sarah rolled her eyes and glared at Dogsthorpe who had frozen, looking exactly like one of her old stuffed toys.
"Please, do come in." She muttered before standing to follow the other woman. "Where is what Christie? I hope you have a good excuse for just barging in here."
Christie whirled around, glaring. "My crystals. My talismans. What else? More have gone missing and I know you have them."
"What? Why would I have them? I don't even believe in all that sh... stuff." She finished meekly as Christie fixed her with a look that could kill.
"I know you don't, but you hate it and you hate me and you're hiding them out of spite."
"Hiding...? Please. I'm not a child. I couldn't give a damn about your coven and your rituals."
"I don't believe you."
"Fine." Sarah swept her hand around the room. "Have a look then. You won't find anything. Just don't break anything."
Sarah settled in her chair and watched as the clearly deranged young woman searched her room. She finally came up empty handed and huffed towards the door, pausing by the desk to pin Sarah with condescending look.
"I know you have something to do with this. I'm sure of it. You're the one who's around the most."
"Believe what you want."
"I will." She glanced down at the desk and picked up the limp little goblin form. "At least I don't believe in goblins and ghouls. What rubbish."
She tossed Dogsthorpe over her shoulder and swept out of the room, slamming the door behind her. Sarah winced when the goblin hit the wall with a thunk and slid down to the ground. She hurried over and picked him up gently.
"Are you all right?"
He nodded, dazed and righted his tiny helmet. "Bad lady. No shiny shiny for her."
"She might be a bad lady, but what did I tell you about stealing her stuff?"
"It's for the good of..."
"Goblin kind. So you've said. That excuse won't last forever you know."
The goblin sniffed. " 'S not my fault it's true."
She turned to set him down and found Sir Diddymus eyeing the door with suspicion.
"I think, perhaps, my lady, that it is best if the goblins stay here for your safe guarding."
Sarah rolled her eyes. Her safety was the one in question here? Hers? Not the safety or rather, completely irrational fear of several fairytale creatures? What ever.
She collapsed into her arm chair, Dogsthorpe still in her arms and stared at the fox, who was still having a staring match with the door.
"So, what's got Jareth's tights in a twist this time anyway? Or is he just having a strop?"
"The last I heard my lady, he shouted at a visiting dignitary that he had the worst headache he's had in a century and shut the castle gates a week a go."
"He has a headache? Seriously?"
"It would seem so."
"Christ he's a girl."
"I thinks you will find, that the Goblin King is man."
She glanced down at the goblin in her lap and sighed. "Thank you for your input. Oh, Diddymus, where's Ambrosias?"
The fox put his nose in the air and sat back against the wall. "He stayed behind to guard my point of travel, less I be ambushed by goblin scoundrels upon my return."
Sarah smiled. "He doesn't like mirror travel, does he?"
"My steed is the most loyal and brave in the land."
Dogsthorpe snorted, Sir Diddymus growled and Sarah kept her thoughts to herself but rather agreed with the goblin on this particular point.
A/N: Prove my self worth with a review. Go on.