A/N: The inspiration for the title is a song by Balance and Composure. It reminds me of Tate and Violet every time I hear it.

Violet stayed in her room all the next day drifting in and out of consciousness. Every time she woke up she was burden with thoughts of what Tate could be doing at that very moment. She decided to go to the basement to see if he was willing to talk to her. Maybe he could explain why he had seemed so guilty yesterday.

Sure enough his voice boomed from down the narrow stairway. Violet took a deep breath and made her way down. She had no idea what to expect to find. There weren't many attractive women in the house. Not to mention they are all way out of his age range. Who would he be cheating with?

"I'm so happy for us," he was saying, "this is finally happening for you." Who was he talking to? Violet pressed her chest to the cold wall and tried to peer around it. She got a glimpse of blonde curls and her heart was in her throat. Nothing could have helped at this moment, when she let out an audible gasp as she saw Tate and a very pregnant Nora sitting there. Tate's head spun around and he was obviously shocked that she had come looking for him.

"Vi, hey."

"Don't Tate, just don't."

"Don't what? You know I love you. I was just giving Nora what she's always wanted. Once she's happy she can stop crying all the time and anyway it's for the benefit of everyone."

"Tate, she's like your fucking mother! This is disgusting. How could you do this to me?" Tears threatened to escape her red, hurt eyes.

"Violet you did this to yourself. It's all your fault. How am I supposed to love someone so broken? You can't expect me to." His words hurt worse than the actions he had betrayed her with.

"You are more broken than I am! What are you talking about?" Now her face was covered in streaming tears. How could he do this to her? This wasn't like him. She collapsed to the ground in a pile of tears and regret.

"It's all your fault!" The words echoed in her head. Suddenly she sprung upwards. She was in her bed, a puddle of sweat surrounding her. It was just a dream, she thought. She stumbled out of bed and went to the bathroom. She ran the hot water and watched the tub fill up. After carefully stepping into the water and sinking down into the warmth she remembered what she had left under her shampoo bottle. She lifted it to reveal the shinning pieces of metal. She thought of how Tate hated finding new scars and scabs on her arms when they would be getting hot and heavy.

She took the razor and slowly let it sink its teeth into her sink. The fiery feeling only lasted a second. She started with her stomach and made a straight line then another across the top. Before she realized what she had done it spelled T-A-T-E in droplets of blood. She liked the way it looked. She craved more stinging and then moved to her arms which then turned into her legs as well. She didn't know if he would like it or not but she didn't plan on showing him ever. She knew the scars would fade anyway which would only be in a few hours due to her fast healing skin. She washed the blood away and wrapped a towel around her small body.

She still couldn't shake the feeling that there could have been some truth to her dream. She finally decided that she should watch Tate today and see what he's doing that's so bad he'd rather run off than talk about it.

She found him in the basement sleeping on the floor. She stayed invisible incase he awoke. She sat in front of him for an hour or so waiting for him to move. She was feeling very impatient. Her temper got the best of her and she knocked over a shelf of jars. The loud sound startled him awake. Violet smiled to herself. Tate got up and walked up the stairs. She followed him for hours but he did nothing but average things. She finally got tired of him reading the same book for two hours. Just as she was about to give up he slammed the book closed. At first she thought she might have slipped up and revealed herself but she knew she didn't. He got up off the couch and vanished to her room.

He looked panicked as he raced around trying to find her. When he came up with nothing he went into a bedroom he had already checked. When he locked the door Violet got closer to him. She watched as he opened a drawer and pulled out a little bag of white powder. It caused a pang of sadness to see him lining up a row made of the whole bag. She wondered if it gave him the same high dead. She knew she should do the right thing and appear to stop him.

She was lost in her thoughts until she heard him start pounding his hand on the table violently. She was too late to stop him.

"Tate, No, stop!" she yelled as she appeared. He just sat there, he didn't even turn around.

"Violet?" she walked over to him and wrapped her arms around him.

"Tate, what are you doing?" she asked calmly. She felt his body tense up and then relax. A strange expression she didn't recognize was plastered on his face.

"Vi, Vi, Vi, where have you been? I missed you," he captured her lips with his. Her first reaction was to kiss him back but the pain he had caused her the past few days couldn't be forgotten so easily.

"Stop, this isn't why I'm here," she tried to pull back from him but his grip was too strong.

"Oh, but Violet, why else would you come looking for me if not for this?"He whispered in her ear. He smashed his lips against hers once again. She struggled against him but couldn't break free. Her head collided with a wall and he had her pinned against it with no room for escaping. She made noises of disapproval and he grabbed the bottom of her cardigan and pulled it off her.

"Tate, you're hurting me," she cried. He looked down at her and his eyes feasted upon the scabbed over lines that coated her skin. "Tate" it read over and over and over again. The sight sobered him up a little, at least enough to loosen his grip on her wrists. Violet wasn't wasting anything as she ran out the door crying harder than ever before.

Once she was in her room she fell onto the bed. She looked around. Everything in here reminded her of him. She began ripping items from the top of her dresser and throwing them about the room.

"Fuck you, Tate!" she huffed. Being high was no excuse for assaulting her. She knew how cocaine affected him. Normally it left him angry and more empty feeling than before. She paced back and forth for hours, thoughts racing.

A small folded piece of paper slid under the door. Violet froze and waited until he was sure he was gone.

"Vi, I'm so sorry. Please let me in. I can explain."