The workday is over and everyone starts to leave.
"Bye! Have a great day, kids! Study your notes tonight because you never when I'll give a pop quiz." Michael waved and once again laughed at his own joke. Looking at the camera he says, "They love me like a teacher."
Pam is unlocking her car door when Jim sneaks up behind her. He pinches her side.
"Oh!" She spins around. "Jim! I should have known; you're the only one who would do that."
He laughed. "What are you doing tonight?"
"Hanging out with you, if that's okay."
"Fine with me." He smiled.
"Hey," she pauses, "did Michael talk to you at all today? I mean, about us?"
"Nooo, why? Does he know that we're dating?"
"I think so. At first he seemed upset that we hadn't told him because apparently it's really 'shocking' for everyone, but after a few minutes he seemed to not care as much. He said I can do what I want." She shrugged.
"Well then don't worry about it. We're fine."
The next day Angela was waiting in front of Pam's desk.
"Good morning, Angela. Can I help you?" Pam took off her coat.
"Yes, at least, I hope you can. Do you have any idea what 'you smell like autumn' means?"
"No," Pam shook her head, "why do you ask?"
"Nothing." Angela looks at the camera and then walks away, arms at her side. We zoom in on what she's holding: pink paper with a monkey holding a heart, inside the heart it says 'D A.'
Pam smirks.
Dwight sits diligently at his desk, organizing a stack of papers. Michael comes up to him.
"Dwight," he talks loud enough that everyone can hear him, "I think you should know that I am aware of your relationship with your fellow office workerette."
Dwight and Angela stare at each other. Pam and Jim look at each other with raised eyebrows.
"Don't worry, I won't tell everyone who you're in love with, even though we all know. We don't blame you, she is pretty hot. Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot." He smiles at the camera. "But I thought that maybe you would want to announce it yourself."
Dwight looks very uneasy. He stands up and straightens his tie. "I, Dwight K. Shrute, do not have a girlfriend." He sits back down and acts like he's busy at work.
Michael is clearly not happy with this. "No, you have a girlfriend, and I know her name. Do you want me to say it?"
"No, don't! I wouldn't want the innocent female slandered like that. You have no right to say things about anyone!"
Jim says, "I know what it's like to have a secret office relationship, but if Michael came up to me like that, I would tell the truth. Michael doesn't know when to stop, so it's better to satisfy him sooner rather than later. He will find out." Jim turns to look out the conference room window and watches the chaos.
"What color is her hair?" Kelly acts overly excited about the drama.
Michael is standing on Dwight's desk. "Okay, we're getting closer. She has curly hair. Any guesses?"
"Is it me?" Phyllis perks up.
"No, Phyllis, it is not you." Michael sighs. Phyllis stares at her keyboard.
Dwight suddenly snaps back, "My girlfriend doesn't have curly hair, she has straight hair!"
Michael steps down from the desk. "You mean she doesn't have curly hair?"
"Right!"
"Is her hair kind of brown with soft red highlights?"
"No." Dwight smiles and quickly glances at Angela.
"Then, well, I guess I was wrong. But that doesn't make any sense. Is your girlfriend Pam Beesley?"
"My girlfriend is no Pamela Beesley. Pam is a great woman, and she gives good advice, but I am not in a secret dating relationship with her."
"Well, you heard it here first! Pam is available!" Michael claps his hands in completion.
"Lucky me." Stanley murmurs under his breath.
Michael walks into his office, where we document him.
"I made an error today. It's not the first time I've made a mistake, but it will be the last. For a while, at least."
Pam: "That was pretty much the strangest idea in the world. Me and Dwight?" she laughs.
Jim: "I wish Michael didn't say that Pam is 'now available.'" He sighs. "Well, then again, it's not like I feel threatened by Kevin or Toby." He smirks.
Angela is in the break room, alone, where she's tying string to balloons.
Dwight walks in and stares at the vending machine, his back is to Angela.
"What was that all about?" Angela whispers.
"I don't know. Michael never ceases to be stupid."
"Why did he think you were dating Pam? Have you been spending time with her without my permission?"
"No!" He yelled a whisper. "I mean, yes. But not like you think. I needed to talk to her, but it wasn't a date."
"Then what was it? Michael wouldn't accuse you of dating her unless he saw something fishy."
"Monkey," he turned to look at her only for Angela to turn her back to him again. "I didn't do anything with her. I only asked her for relationship advice."
"Advice for getting along with me?"
"Yes. The poetry was her idea."
"That is so impersonal!" She turned around to look him in the eyes. Angela reaches down her blouse and pulls out the pink card that Dwight had given her and begins to tear it to shreds. Crying, she scolds, "Dwight, how could you?"
She leaves.
We see Dwight alone in the break room He watches Angela leave, then bends down and picks up all the pieces of paper.
Jim calls Pam's phone.
"Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam."
"That was one of the funniest things I've heard in a long time." He whispered a laugh.
"I know! How anyone could date Dwight is beyond me."
"Well, I'm glad you feel that way. I wouldn't want any competition from him."
"I think that's the least of your worries."
Jim turns around to face Pam. "Let's get out of here." Pam nods.
They leave.
On the way out of the building they bump into Jan.
"Oh, hey, Jan! What's up?" Pam's friendly.
"Michael needs to talk to me. Supposedly it's important. Do you have any idea what it's about?"
Jim replies, "No, it could be anything. Maybe he ran out of coffee filters."
"Thanks." Jan tries to smile but it looks pained.
Jan is sitting in Michael's office, and they both looked worried.
"Jan, I have bad news."
"What is it, Michael. You aren't out of coffee filters, are you?"
"What? No? Pam isn't dating Dwight!"
"Okay, so I was right all along."
"Yes," Michael hangs his head. "I owe you dinner. Where would you like to go?"
Jan looks smug. "Somewhere expensive."
"Okay, let's go." They both get up and start to leave. Michael bumps into Jan and kisses her neck. She jerks away.
"Michael, if you kiss me again you can wait in the bathroom while I enjoy a fancy dinner."
"Sorry." He chuckled.
THE END