Trust and Love
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, unfortunately, and I also don't own the song "Torn" by Natalie Imbruglia
Yeah! I didn't take a super long time to update!!!!! Thanks to Mirrored In My Mind for the review!! To all you people who put this story on your favorite list PLEASE REVIEW!!!! I enjoy hearing your comments! ^_^
Part 2: Torn
I woke up groggily. I tried to sit up and it took a couple tries which shows how far I had run. My legs ached horribly and I slowly became aware of my surroundings. I was on the forest floor where I had fallen last night. Everything from the night before came rushing back to the front of my mind.
I thought I saw a man brought to life
He was warm, he came around like he was dignified
He showed me what it was like to cry
I attempted to focus on the situation at hand but my mind kept wandering back to Inuyasha. All the times I sat him, all the times we laughed and all the times we fought. We went through a lot together and I hate how he just threw me away like that! Maybe though I threw him away? I can't think like that! If I do I won't be able to look at myself. To know that I had almost gotten everything anyone ever wishes for, friends, family and someone who loves me, then threw it away. Tears sprung into my eyes but I refused to let them fall this time.
Well you couldn't be that man that I adored
You don't seem to know, don't seem to care what your heart is for
Maybe he wasn't Inuyasha. Maybe he was some sort of evil clone or Naraku disguised as Inuyasha. The Inuyasha I know would never do all those things would he? After reflecting for what seemed an eternity I decided to get up off the cold ground. So far it wasn't going well. I hadn't realized until now how far and fast I'd run. My legs are killing me!! I fell down again half expecting to be caught by a pair of strong arms. None came to encircle my waist and I landed on my butt. It wasn't all a dream! MY Inuyasha really did kiss Kikyo!
But I don't know him anymore
There's nothing where he used to lie
I managed to stand up and weakly started to walk. I have no idea where the nearest village is and frankly I don't care, as long as Inuyasha ISN'T there. He has the right to be happy and if Kikyo makes him happy then I hope they have a good life together. I no longer have any meaning to him so I just need to stay out of Inuyasha's life.
I don't know how much time has flown by. Everything has been a blank. When did I last eat? Have I seen anyone? I've been numb on the inside trying to erase Inuyasha from my mind, to convince myself I don't love him. My mind hasn't fully wrapped itself around the idea that I have no place in Inuyasha's life anymore. I can't remember anything from the past few days except that one scene in the woods with Kikyo. And worse, Inuyasha hasn't come running trying to apologize. I thought maybe it was a misunderstanding but I guess I was wrong. I'm always so wrong!
I turned my head slightly hearing my name. Hearing him call my name. I must be hearing things now. The only thought I could manage is that I'm going crazy. But there it is again and he seems desperate and hurt. Hurt? Hurt! He has no right to be HURT! He got what he wanted and what was I left with?! Nothing that's what! Tears started to form but I blinked them back. I came jolting to reality when a hand grabbed one of my wrists. The person turned me around so that we were face to face. I looked into deep amber pools amazed. All the emotions I've been covering with numbness came back full force. This time I couldn't stop the tears that flooded down my face.
My conversation has run dry
That's what's going on, nothings fine I'm torn.
I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
His eyes always make me speechless and right now I don't have much to say to him anyways. Instead of looking at him I turn my head away. Sighing he takes his free hand and cups my chin forcing me to look at him. He looked hungry, desperate, hurt and ready to sleep for a week.
"Where do you think you're going?" he asked. I didn't know how to answer. Truthfully I have no clue where I'm going.
I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
He had Kikyo. I thought that was what he wanted. He always ran off to her. He was in love with her 50 years ago and I thought he still was. But now looking deep into his amber eyes I'm not so sure anymore. Doubt blossomed in my mind, possibly he really did love me…No! Stop! I have to push those thoughts out of my mind, they won't get me anywhere. If I start thinking he loves me it will only be more painful when he says goodbye.
Illusion never changed into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late, I'm already torn
Inuyasha can't fix this, this hole where my heart used to be. More tears streamed down my face unchecked. I feel so weak, crying like this in front of him for the umpteenth time. I saw worry appear in his eyes. Why? I was just a shard detector. He's always saying that and last night he proved it. I obviously didn't mean anything to him so why should he care? My mind was already confused enough but now I feel as if my head is going to explode any minute. How can he lead me on this way?! I….I….I love him!!
So I guess the fortune teller's right
Should have seen just what was there
And not some holy light
I used to be amazed when I looked into his eyes. They held such pain and yet could be joyful. He was always there when I fell to call me an idiot but it never felt like he really meant it. All the hurtful words we've exchanged, I thought they were his way of expressing himself. I understand that he never really had anyone to look to after his mother died. I always thought he wanted Kikyo, his first true love, who has always held a part of his heart. However now that the seed of doubt has been planted in my mind it's extremely hard to get rid of.
To crawl beneath my veins and now
I don't care, I have no luck, I don't
Miss it all that much
There's just so many things that I
Can't touch, I'm torn
He started to talk. It sounded rushed, and all the while his eyes bored holes into mine. I wasn't paying much attention though. How could I? He could never tell me the truth before about going to see Kikyo and now he just wants his shard detector back.
"Kagome! KAGOME!" I was jolted back to reality by Inuyasha screaming my name two feet from my face.
"Damn! Will you just listen for a second!" He sounded exceedingly desperate.
I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I shamed bound and broken on the floor
On the floor
Illusion never changed into something
real
I decided to give him my undivided attention. He noticed that I seemed to be paying better attention and started his explanation over.
"Kagome I told Kikyo GOODBYE. It's over with her. She's part of my past and now I need to move on to my future." He had a hopeful look in his golden eyes. Could it be true? Did he seriously leave Kikyo or was he just lying his ass off hoping to avoid a couple sits? I mean he did love Kikyo. Right?
He saw the slight doubt and confusion in my eyes. He gave me a little shake when I turned my face and stared at the ground. I'm so confused!! Did I get everything wrong? Was it always me and not Kikyo? I looked back into his eyes.
I'm wide awake and I can see the
Perfect sky is torn
You're a little late and I'm already torn
Then the rash hanyou did the last thing I ever expected him to do. The last time it happened was a fluke. I did it to keep him from changing into a full demon forever and afterwards we never mentioned it again. This time was no fluke. He bent down and kissed me! Inuyasha kissed me! I tried to push him away at first but he refused to move. Maybe he really did love me! Finally I stopped resisting him and gave in. It was so wonderful!
When he finally pulled away he smiled. And whispered an 'I love you' in my ear before scooping me up in his arms and jumping through the trees towards the village.
WOOT! Now push the button at the bottom of the screen...I know it's there somewhere...but I can't see it.....