Because I totally forgot in the first chapter, here is my lovely disclaimer.
I don't own Bleach or its characters. Wish I did, but I don't.
Also, part of Soi Fong's angry rampage was inspired by the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I'm not attempting plagiarism, I promise. Yay reviews! (Hint hint)
Isane was such a sweet girl. A little insecure, maybe, but very kind, and very good at her job.
Unohana watched her lieutenant move among the patients of the fourth division, offering comfort and healing where she could. She could remember the day she requested Isane Kotetsu as her lieutenant. A calm, quiet soul, with incredible abilities in kido. She could hold her own in a fight, and was one of the best healers they had.
There was of course, one other reason for her lieutenant. As Unohana was not particularly tall woman, it was very handy to have someone who could actually reach the top shelf of her office. It was so very undignified to stand on chairs.
Sosuke Aizen sighed and leaned back in his chair. It was good to be the king. His incredible web of deception and lies was nearly complete, and any day now he would rise to the top of the world and destroy the puny worms beneath him. These… fools who had held him back would soon be nothing more than dust when HE ruled the world. They truly were idiots, all of them.
Aizen chuckled evilly to himself, rubbing his hands together. He simply couldn't wait until the day he could kill off all the stupid shinigami one by one, slowly, painfully… Aizen gave his best evil laugh. When he was king of the world, a good evil laugh would—
"Um… Captain Aizen? Are you okay?" Momo Hinamori stood in the door, wide-eyed. She clutched a few papers that she'd obviously been told to deliver.
"Oh, uh, hello, Hinamori. Yes, I'm fine." Still looking frightened, Hinamori placed the papers on his desk and scurried away, shooting furtive glances over her shoulder.
Damn. He'd have to be more careful about where he practiced his evil laughter.
Kuchiki Byakuya rubbed his temples in a futile attempt to ward off a throbbing headache. His lieutenant had not stopped talking since coming to the office drunk. He'd spent the night drinking with Matsumoto and Hisagi, it seemed, and Renji had decided it was time Hisagi and Matsumoto got together.
While Renji prattled on about methods of setting people up, Byakuya restrained the growing need to bash his head against something both hard and pointy. Preferably his zanpakuto. Rather than try to impale himself, Byakuya decided to see how long Renji could go without taking a breath.
20 minutes later, Renji had yet to take a breath, and the zanpakuto option was looking better and better.
Okay, so not my best work, but I kinda liked it. Yeah, Aizen's is more about him then his lieutenant, but he only thinks about himself anyway, so I thought it fit. And he desperately needed an evil laugh.
BTW, I don't really go for Hisagi/Matsumoto, it just seemed like something Renji would babble about when drunk and sleep-deprived.