Honesty is the Best Policy
"Morning Mom," Quinn said, stealing a slice of bacon.
"Morning Quinnie," Judy replied. "You seem chipper this morning. Good dreams?"
"Very," Quinn said, glad her mom was looking the other way and couldn't see her blush.
"What did you dream about? You can learn a lot from your dreams you know."
"Rachel and I were staring in Wicked on Broadway, and we had sex on Glinda's bed," Quinn answered.
There was silence in the kitchen. Judy had paused with her cup of coffee halfway to her lips. Quinn had stopped assembling her breakfast. Both stood facing each other, unsure of what to do.
Quinn couldn't believe she'd said that! She'd meant to stop at "Broadway," but the rest had come tumbling out like balls in the Chuck E. Cheese play pit.
"Quinn… is there something…you need to tell me?" Judy asked.
She had a lie ready. Something along the lines of Oh-I-ate-a-hoagie-before-bed-and-that-last-part-was-just-my-stomach-messing-with-my-head. However, to her horror, she heard herself say, "I kind of like Rachel and I want to ask her out." WHAT THE HELL? What was wrong with her?
"Oh," Judy said, very obviously trying to suppress the rising Right Wing Panic she felt. "Well…if that's what you want. Perhaps this is just…something you need to get out of your system. Anyway, no big deal!" she finished in far too high of a voice.
"I'm…going to get ready for Brittany's party," Quinn said. She left her breakfast on the counter and made a dash for the stairs.
"Hey boys!" Burt called.
"Morning Dad."
"Sup Burt?"
"Do you boys have any plans for today?" Carole asked.
"We're going to Brittany's party later on," Finn said. "Pass the eggs, Kurt."
"Brittany? Kurt, that's the one you fake-dated, right?" Burt asked.
"That's her."
"Wait, fake-date?" Carole asked. "Why were you fake-dating her?"
"Because he couldn't date me, and then Burt started hanging out with me and he was moping. Kurt needs attention."
"Finn!"
"It's okay Carole," Kurt said. "It's also true. Though I got over Finn when I looked at his track record with the Glee girls. Really Finn, the whole 'Only wanting her when you can't have her' thing is only cute in Twilight."
Burt looked back and forth between the two teens. "Did you two have a fight or something last night?"
"No, we watched Shaun of the Dead and fell asleep on the couch," Finn said, sounding just as confused as Burt.
"We're just…being honest," Kurt told him. It sounded like the words were having a hard time coming out.
Burt looked at Carole and shrugged.
By the time everyone got to Santana's house, they were all in various states of shock and/or panic. She held up her hands as they all tried to talk at once. "Whoa, hold up! What the hell is wrong with all of you?"
"Have you…talked to anyone today?" Quinn asked hesitantly.
"Only Brittany. Why?"
"Er…were you a little more honest with her than normal?"
"I'm always honest with Britt. For the most part. Why? What's wrong?"
"We can't stop telling the truth," Finn answered.
"I don't know what happened," Mike said. "One minute my dad was laying into me about how dance wasn't going to get me into medical school, and the next he was crying. I think I said something about how I would rather be a stripper than a doctor, but it's all a blur now…."
Tina took his hand supportively. "I told my parents that I'd contemplated becoming a cafeteria lady so I could flick food at kids."
"What did you confess, Quinn?" Mercedes asked, seeing Quinn's supremely uncomfortable look.
Quinn glared at her, even as the words came tumbling from her lips. "I told my mom that I wanted to date Rachel."
This earned a gasp for Kurt and an excited squeal from the diva.
"No way!" Rachel said. "I told my dads that I've been in love with you since we did the I Feel Pretty duet last year!"
Brittany, who had come in in the middle of the conversation, beamed and clapped her hands. "Oh good! My wish came true!"
As one, the group turned to her. Artie, almost afraid to know the answer, asked, "What wish, Brittany?"
"Yesterday, when we had the duck cupcakes in Glee, I wished for everyone to be honest for the weekend."
"THE WEEKEND?" Everyone yelped.
"Yeah. That way no one could lie and hurt people," she explained, as if it were the most logical thing in the world.
Santana thought about telling her that the truth could hurt as well, but what was the point? Plus there was a more pressing matter—she had to get through this weekend without coming out to absolutely everyone she came in contact with…. "Alright, look…we know what's going on now. That's a start. So let's just have the party and then we can worry about it later."
Easier said than done.
During Pin the Tail on the Donkey, Puck admitted that Rachel had the finest ass he'd ever seen (which confused the bejeesus out of Mercedes).
During Duck, Duck, Goose, Kurt told Mike that his dancing made him horny.
As they watched the Care Bears Movie, Quinn whispered to Rachel that she really wasn't into Broadway, but would be more than willing to suffer through as many viewings of Funny Girl as long as they could cuddle.
Tina told everyone that she'd once seriously considered trying out for the Cheerios.
Finn admitted that he HAD tried out for the Cheerios.
And Santana…. Santana kept her mouth shut and hoped for the best.
While they ate pizza, the Gleeks discussed the recent turn of events. No one could figure out why the wish had come true. Artie nodded slightly to Brittany and Santana got the hint.
"Britt, come help me with the cake."
Once they'd left, Artie said quietly, "It makes sense if you think about it."
"How?" Mercedes and Kurt asked in unison.
"This is Brittany we're talking about," Artie said. "Think about it: when was the last time you actually believed in the wish you made?"
They were all silent.
"Exactly," he continued. "Brittany believes this stuff—believes it with all of her heart. Things we chalk up to coincidence, she sees as magic. I mean, she asked Santa for me to be able to walk, and I got a freaking machine that helps me do it! It's Brittany, guys."
Just then, Brittany and Santana entered with the cake (a pond this time, with duck cupcakes sitting on top). Santana set it down on the table and handed Finn the server. "No candles this time."
It was going to be a long weekend.