********************************************************************************************
The Snakes
15th of December, Denver, Colorado, 8:59 pm
2
Big Boss & EVA's Place
SUN 15th
Snake and Otacon took their luggage out of the trunk of Snake's old, discoloured and corroded 67 Mustang.
When Snake banged the trunk closed, the number plate fell off.
Snake sighed in annoyance but he loved her, he called her Copper, because she covered with rust.
Otacon took a glimpse of the four star suburbia. "Nice houses."
The most of the inside the house Otacon could see was the Christmas tree in the window.
Snake nodded and Otacon looked at the driveway, their were five cars in the driveway (including Snake's car).
A green/black Aston martin V12 vanquish, a small, red Mini Cooper with a white roof and two black line's down the middle, a Triumph bike, and a black Corvette.
EVA walked down the stairs and opened the door on her way out.
Snake smiled.
"Hey Mom."
"Oh, hey David, hi Otacon. I have… well, George put some food in the oven for you boys if you're hungry?"
Otacon nodded and smiled. "Thanks EVA."
"Snake, bring Otacon upstairs and show him around the house."
Otacon and Snake walked up the stairs and into the hall, they first stopped Solidus's room.
When they first walked in the door, all you could see is N*Sync and Westlife posters, in the corner sat a thirty-eight inch TV, on the dresser beside it, lay a few books, a white iPod, an antique gun, a PS2, a NINTENDO Wii, a football phone, and a large number of consol games:
Crash Bandicoot, Conflict Desert Storm, Devil May Cry, the GTA series, Grand Turismo 3 A-Spec, Kengo, Mortal Kombat, Project Zero, Tekken series, Time Crisis 2 and much more.
They then passed through Liquid's bedroom.
There was a wooden bed at the end of the room and a square desk with an Apple computer, a little blue collar with a pure silver tag with the name Jean-pierre, lava lamp and a small blue radio beside it. Alongside his television, there was an XBOX, a small straw cats bed with a fitted pillow inside of it, also Poster of an Aston Martin and a neat shelf full of rock ballad and classical CD's and XBOX games, and in his collection, he had:
Bloodrayne 2, Batman Vengeance, Dead or Alive 3, Halo, Silent Hill 2, Hitman, God of War, Jade Empire, Coliseum and Splinter Cell, and also a and art easel, with a painting of Shadow Moses on it.
"Who painted that?"
Snake nodded. "Liquid."
The door beside Liquid's room was Snake's room, it was full with Metallica and Guns N' Roses posters.
Beside his questionably unstable bed, was stacked tyres as an side table. On the table, there was a pack of condoms, ciggs and another pack of condoms with several opened.
As they entered the room, Snake whispered in Otacon's ear: "Touch anything in my room while you're here and I'll rip your balls off!"
Otacon rolled his eyes.
Snake went over and sat on his bed turning on the TV and the NINTENDO GAMECUBE.
When Otacon sat down, he noticed two full ashtrays on the stack of tyres.
On Snake's desk, there was a picture of him giving Meryl a piggyback ride. Beside his TV, their was a bookcase with unorganized GAMECUBE games and DVD's.
What he saw of the games were Super Mario Sunshine, Luigi's Mansion, Pokemon XD, 007 Night fire, 007 Agent Under Fire, Burnout, Enter the Matrix, Eternal Darkness, Super Smash Bros. Melee, Bloodrayne, Casper the Friendly Ghost and all the Resident Evil series.
Beside them, were his DVD's he had: 007 Series, the Indiana Jones series, Far and Away, Moulin Rouge, Romeo & Juliet, the Die Hard series, Halloween series, the Wrong Turn series, The Notebook, Atonement, the Resident Evil series and The Bourne series.
Otacon smiled, Snake didn't seem like the type of guy to have, Far and Away or The Notebook in his DVD collection.
Solidus came in. "Hey Otacon, hey Snake."
Snake was a bit too 'busy' killing zombie's with the standard handgun and stuffing his face with chips than to hear what his younger brother was saying.
Otacon shook his head and rolled his eyes.
MON 16th
7:25 am
Otacon woke to a loud noise coming from down the hall, he could just about make out the words:
"John, get your ass outta bed, NOW!"
Otacon threw the blanket off of his legs and place his feet on the ground, only to step on a cigarette. He rolled his eyes and put it on the overflowing ashtray.
He wiped the ashes off his check bottoms and grey T-shirt
He walked down the hall and peeked by Big Boss and EVA's bedroom.
The forty-seven year old woman, who was wearing only a shirt, was standing over the fifty year old man, hitting him with a shoe.
"Get, up! You have a meeting with Ocelot at 7:45, it is now 7:29 and you shower like Ms. Daisy so GET UP!"
Big Boss moaned. "Just… five more minutes."
She began to get frustrated. "John, get your ass out of this bed or so help me god I-!"
She shrieked.
Big Boss turned face up, grabbed her and threw her on the be and rolled over on top of her.
"Well, baby I'm a bit tiered from last night."
She smiled at his handsome smirk, and kissed him.
"I love ya, but you're not gonna sex talk your way outta this one!"
She kicked him off the bed.
Otacon walked down the stairs, into the kitchen just in time to see Snake devouring the fridge.
"Snake?"
Snake turned around with a full mouth, and a carton of milk in one hand, and a leftover chicken in the other.
"Oh, morn'n Otacon." Snake soon swallowed down his food.
EVA came down the stairs in the same shirt. "Morning, Otacon."
"Morning, EVA."
She jogged into the kitchen while tying her hair up.
"Hey, Mom. Jesus, Put some clothes on."
She snarled.
Snake drank down the milk carton as much as he could, until EVA snatched it out of his hands.
"Wha-… Mom!?"
"This is not a farm!"
"Dad ate snakes!"
She sighed.
"Eh, Otacon if you're hungry I can whip up something? Though my culinary skills are below… awful, but I make a good… burnt bacon?"
Otacon smiled.
"Eh, no thanks EVA, I'll salvage what's left of the of the milk."
Big Boss came down the stairs. "Hey Otacon, hey Snake."
He kissed EVA. "Morning… again."
He smiled innocently and opened the fridge.
"Are the other two up yet?"
She nodded. "Yeah, Liquid is outside washing his car and Solidus is at the shooting range with Grey Fox."
Big Boss took the milk carton out of the fridge and drank down as much of it as he could, until EVA snatched it out of his hands.
"Wha-… EVA!?"
"This is not a farm!"
"I ate snakes!"
She sighed and rolled her eyes. Otacon took a bowl from the press.
"Okay, sweetie. I gotta go to work, and now get your ass in fifth gear and get to work now!"
Big Boss walked up towards her. "Then how about you stay home and give me a test drive?"
EVA smiled. "Eh, nah. I gotta go to work. Bye."
She left the house and jumped on her bike.
1:02 pm
Otacon and Snake sat in Snake's childhood bedroom, Otacon was insulting his music taste and Snake was playing Resident Evil the GAMECUBE.
"Snake? You have Far and Away in your DVD collection?"
"… it's … Meryl's."
Otacon sighed and put the DVD's back in place.
"Eh, Otacon… can you do this puzzle for me, I'm on a timer!"
Otacon frowned.
"You're manipulating my genius brain to win some crappy used game you got at X-tra vision?"
Snake moaned. "Otacon!?"
Otacon sighed.
"Fine."
Snake gave him the controller, and after a minute and a half, he got it.
"You see, it goes up in nines."
"Oh."
Liquid walked in. "Hello, Otacon."
Otacon nodded.
"Hello, Snake."
"Hey Barbie."
Liquid sighed in exasperation.
"Mother wants to know if she's authorized to fix your car?"
(imitates Liquids voice) "Well tell mother, that my car is fine."
Otacon rolled his eyes. "Snake she's right. The left door is hanging on for dear life."
"No, she's just… a bit shabby."
Liquid thought for a moment. "You never actually said where you bought her?"
"Define buy."
Otacon and Liquid looked at each other.
"Snake?"
"Well I was passing by this junk yard and… there she was."
Otacon rolled his eyes and Liquid soon left the room.
"Snake, I have to do my job and observe… and I have been, and I think you should spend more time with Liquid and Solidus."
Snake neglected to pause the game, and was eaten by the undead.
"Eh… what?!"
"Just some… small activities, maybe a few drinking games…?"
Snake sighed. "But… Otacon!?"
"No Snake, you've had enough problems, and now you've got to deal with them."
Snake sighed with aggravation and knocked down six zombies, with six bullets, with six headshots.
Living Room
7:35 pm
The three brothers and Otacon sat around the living room in silence and boredom.
Otacon wanted EVA and Big Boss out for dinner, so the boys could "bond".
Snake sat drinking Vodka and smoking, Liquid was forced to watch daytime television and Solidus sat on the recliner flicking through Cosmo.
Otacon sighed, this wasn't what he'd planned.
Solidus sighed.
"Okay, I've got to do something to break this silence."
The boys sighed and Solidus looked around him thinking of something to do.
He cleared his throat. "5 ways to please your guy, and get your love life back on track. Step one: is your sex life getting dry and dreary? Why not try something kink-?"
"Solidus!"
Otacon stopped him.
Once again they were stuck in silence.
Solidus tried once again. "Ya know Vamp had a thing for Fatman… and Fortune had a thing for Vamp?"
Liquid flicked through the channels and the only thing on was Pokémon.
Otacon sighed in boredom, then got up and grabbed the three snake's car keys and held them up. "Which car?"
The boys looked at each other. "Which car, for what?"
"We are going out, to a bar."
The boys looked at each other.
"Go… together?"
Otacon rolled his eye's.
"Yes! Together, mutually, jointly, as one. Now pick a damn car."
Solidus sighed. "We'll take my Mini."
Snake sniggered. "yeah, that lump of Shit."
Solidus snarled. "Okay! Then lets use the leftovers from Betty's Banger!"
Otacon sighed. "Boys!"
Karaoke Bar
Colorado state campus
9:03pm
The boys opened the door of the empty college bar.
Otacon questioned. "Eh, isn't this a college bar?"
Snake nodded. "Yeah, we can pass for twenty, nobody will no we're grown men. And besides, college chicks are hot!"
Otacon frowned. "Snake, we're twenty-six."
Liquid and Snake ran ecstatically to the beer and ciggarettes at the bar.
Solidus and Otacon sighed and soon joined them at the bar. By the time they got to the bar, Snake had drank four scotches and finished a carton of ciggs, Liquid had finished five martinis and two shots.
Three drinks later the twins were drunk, Solidus had only have a beer because he was driving, and Otacon had two beers because he wanted to keep it clean.
The bartender frowned. "Aren't you four a bit old to be in a college bar?"
Snake and Liquid scowled and Snake mumbled. "Hey… We are twenty, and we major in… Sex education!"
Otacon sighed and grabbed their drinks. "Okay, you've both had enough."
A barman was setting up a karaoke machine.
Snake stood up, grabbed Liquid and ran up to the karaoke machine and switched it on.
Snake pressed the jukebox and Goldeneye came on.
Otacon and Solidus shook their heads. "Oh my God!"
Solidus frowned. "What are you complaining about. You live with one of them, and for only for two years so far… I lived with both of them for twenty two years!"
Liquid came to he front of the stage.
Liquid: See reflections on the water, more than darkness in the depths. See him surface in every shadow. On the wind I feel his breath.
They both came to the front of the stage.
Both: Goldeneye, I found his weakness. Goldeneye, he'll do what I please. Goldeneye, no time for sweetness. A bitter kiss will bring him to his knees.
Snake: You'll never know, how I watched you from the shadows as a child! You'll never know, how it feels to be the one who's left behind!
Otacon was wide eyed, and Solidus was hysterical.
The bar was empty for a while after a young red-head banged the door open and looked at the stage in shock.
"Oh my god… Snake?"
Snake was too intoxicated to hear anything she was saying, though Otacon to a glimpse at the door.
"Meryl?"
She looked puzzled. "What… are they doing?"
Solidus shook his head. "They're drunk."
Snake: You'll never know the days, and nights the tears, the tears I've cried. But now my time has come, and time, time is not on your side!
Liquid: See him move through smoke and mirrors. Feel his presence in the crowd. Other girls they gather around him. If I had him, I wouldn't let him out.
Both: Goldeneye not lace or leather. Golden chain take him to the spot. Goldeneye I'll show him forever. It will take forever to see what I've got.
Restaurant
same time
Big Boss and EVA sat in the very crowded French restaurant, Carte Blanche.
The food came. A crouque-monsieur for Big Boss, and a croissant.
He examined his plate. "What kinda crap is this?!"
EVA sighed. "Crouque-monsieur."
"A what?"
She rolled her eyes. "John, you ordered it so, stop asking questions and eat the damn thing!"
He smiled.
EVA frowned. "What?"
"You look so sexy when you're pissed."
She shook her head but couldn't help but smile.
"Eat your food."
He continued picking at his food until it opened and a strange filling came out.
"ugh?!"
EVA shook her head. "You ate snakes, birds, and poor defenceless rabbits and you 'ugh' at the sight of ham and cheese?!"
"Hey those rabbits tasted good!"
She sighed.
He took out his cell.
EVA was confused. "What are you doing?"
"I'm just calling the boys to see how they are."
EVA shook her head. "They're in their twenties!"
"They're still children in my… eye!"
He called.
"Hi Otacon. What's that noise? Where are you?"
"Oh, we're just at a bar."
"Oh, are the boys keeping out of trouble?"
There was noise in the background, it sounded like drunken idiots singing Don't cha.
"Eh… yeah. Do you know if there is a motel or if someone the boys know lives around here?"
"Eh, yeah Meryl lives around there. Did Snake not mention her?"
"Eh, no he's just a bit… tipsy."
People were singing in the background.
Snake: Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like mine, Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like mine.
"Wha-?! Was that Snake?!"
Otacon stuttered. "Eh… no, no. that was… bye."
He hung up.
Karaoke bar
Solidus, Meryl and Otacon sat at the bar sober while the twins sang drunkenly on the stage.
Both: I know I'm on your mind, I know we'll have a great time. I'm your friend, and I'm fine.
I ain't lying, look at me, you ain't blind.
Otacon turned to Meryl. "Meryl, if you don't mind, would it be alright if we crashed at your place for a while? None of us are fit to drive three hours at 2:00 in the morning."
Meryl nodded. "Yeah that's great, I just moved in three weeks ago, its only maybe ten minutes from here, and my neighbours are Raiden and Rose."
Otacon and Solidus looked at each other in fear. "Raiden!"
"Eh… yes. Is that a problem?"
Otacon sighed. "It's just… he's a gay little prick!"
Meryl nodded. "I've noticed, but he's a nice guy.
Solidus and Otacon looked at each other. "…"
Liquid and Snake ran off the stage. "Hey guys!"
Snake spotted Meryl. "Hey Baby."
"Hi Snake. You were really… shaking it up there."
He nodded. "So, anyone up for a drink on me… except Solidus's paying?"
Meryl sighed. "I guess one drink wouldn't hurt before we go."
Meryl's Place
TUE 17th
10:12am
Snake and Liquid sat by Meryl's counter staring at a full cup of coffee, looking off-colour and dry.
Meryl, Solidus and Otacon were eating a full Irish breakfast. Though Snake and Liquid couldn't stand the smell.
"Ugh… It looks like… Alcohol."
Otacon shook his head. "Well, it's your own fault!"
Liquid looked up. "No… I blame alcohol," Liquid lifted his head to Otacon, "And I blame you. You made up go to that bar."
Meryl tossed two plates in front of the twins and teased them. "Look at the juicy bacon, and the greasy sausages beside the crunchy, yellow egg yolk!"
Liquid held his mouth and ran to the bathroom.
Solidus laughed. "Snake, how ya doing?"
He threw his head into his hands and moaned. "How the fuck do I look?!"
Solidus put his hands up. "Hey… calm down, bro!"
Otacon rolled his eyes. "You chose to drink last night!"
Snake attempted to get off the stool.
"ugh… I know, but I wish I hadn't!"
Meryl shook head and slowly knocked on her bathroom door.
"Eh… Liquid?"
The toilet flushed from inside the door.
"Yeah…?"
Meryl clenched her teeth. "Are you okay?"
"Do I sound okay!?"
She sighed. "Oh… right sorry."
Meryl walked back to the counter and patted Snake on the back.
"How ya feel'n?"
He slightly nodded and walked to the bedroom.
Their was a knock on the door. "Eh… hello? Meryl, you home?
Meryl opened the door. "Hey Raiden."
Otacon and Solidus sighed. "Hi… Raiden…"
"Hey guys, are Snake and Liquid here?"
Otacon smiled unconvincingly. "Eh, yeah."
Raiden smiled. "Great, those guys are so cool!"
Liquid came out just to get a short glimpse of Raiden, then walked back in.
"Hi Liquid!"Raiden ran to the door, the same time Liquid locked it shut.
Big Boss and EVA's Place
12:30
The brothers, Otacon and Meryl pulled up in Solidus's Volkswagen Mini, and got out of the car.
Meryl took a glimpse of the four star suburbia. "Nice houses."
Snake nodded and threw his arm over her shoulder and the door opened. And EVA came out.
"Hey Mom, you remember Meryl?"
EVA nodded and smiled. "Yes, hello. You can stay here as long as you want, you can sleep in Solidus's room."
"You can sleep with Liquid and Snake in Liquid's room."
Liquid looked at Solidus in disgust. "But it's my room!"
EVA frowned. "No buts! Now Meryl, let me show you around the house."
Snake whispered to EVA while clenching his teeth. "Mom. She's sleeping with me, in my room."
EVA frowned. "Snake, there's a limited supply of beds, and unless you want you Liquid and Meryl in the same bed?"
Snake thought for a moment. "Good point."
She took Meryl upstairs and the boys walked in the front door to see Big Boss try to operate the answering machine.
"Come on you son of a bitch!"
Solidus shook his head. "Dad…"
He pressed the button on the answering machine.
Big Boss frowned. "Oh…"
Big Boss shouted up the stairs. "Hey EVA, if its okay, Ocelot's coming over for dinner… and as in dinner I mean takeout?"
"Eh… yeah that's great."
He nodded. "Hey Snake that's a fine woman you've got there… mind if I have a go at her?"
"Dad, No!"
Big Boss sighed and a black Cadillac pulled up outside and Ra, Ra Rasputin was playing full on in the car and an middle aged man was in the sitting in the front seat.
Big Boss ran down the steps.
"Adamska!"
Ocelot sat in the car mouthing the words: Ra, Ra Rasputin Russia's greatest love machine.
Big Boss sighed. "You really think you're Russia's greatest love machine?"
"Shut up old man!"
"You felt up my wife!"
Ocelot squinted. "Touché…"
He got out of the car and gave Big Boss a manly hug. "John."
Snake came to EVA.
"Hey Mom… where's Meryl?"
"She's in your bedroom."
Snake nodded and ran upstairs.
Ocelot ran up the steps into the kitchen and stumbled into EVA.
"EVA! Looking glamorous as always."
She smiled and he hugged her.
She pulled away and hit him. "Ocelot! Did you try and unhook my bra?!"
He smirked. "Maybe…"
Big Boss shook his head. "Stop feeling up my wife, Hitler!"
Ocelot sighed. "Hitler was German you retard."
"Well… there all the same. Anyway, what are you doing driving a Cadillac at your age?"
Ocelot scowled. "Hey I just bought that thing at a great deal!"
Big Boss laughed. "Fair enough."
Ocelot sighed in annoyance. "So what you cooking… or hopefully ordering?"
She scowled. "My cooking isn't that bad… per say. And we are ordering."
Ocelot smiled. "Great. Chinese or Italian?"
Big Boss nodded. "Chinese."
Upstairs
Snake ran up stairs into his bedroom to see Meryl going through his stuff.
Snake sighed. "Did nobody ever tell you about privacy?"
She smiled. "They must have forgotten. Though there is one question I've been meaning to ask you something."
Snake took a blow on his cigarette.
"Okay."
She took out two different boxes from his shelf. "You listen to Iron Maiden, though you have Far and Away and Moulin Rouge in your DVD collection?"
"I have a colourful taste."
Meryl shook her head. "What ever you say."
Solidus came in. "Hey bro, hey Meryl. Listen you wanna game of Time Crisis on the PS2?"
He nodded. "Yeah just gimme a sec."
Solidus nodded and left the room.
Meryl threw her arms around Snake. "Time Crisis, huh?"
Snake smiled. "Yeah. You wanna see me kick my little brothers ass?"
"yeah."
Solidus's Room
Solidus plugged in the guns into his PS2 and Snake sat on the bed.
Meryl examined Solidus's CD collection. "Fergie?"
Solidus grabbed the controller and sat on the bed. "Yeah."
The game soon said: Player one… Solidus. Player two… Snake.
The boys played the game getting excellent scores and head shots.
Snake began to get frustrated with the game. "Oh, come on! That was a perfect head shot, and I got'em on the shoulder?!"
Meryl sighed. "Snake, you do understand that a Namco gun isn't as accurate as a real gun?"
The brothers ignored her.
Soon after the Game called: Winner…Player one.
Solidus jumped off his seat. "Woo Hooooooooo!"
Snake threw his controller on the ground angrily and went to kick the Playstation, just before Solidus tackled him.
"Snake!?"
Solidus held him on ground. "I am not buying another Playstation because of you!"
Snake threw him off. "Oh come on, I only did that… twice before."
Meryl gave Solidus and Snake a hand up.
WED 18th
Upstairs
1:24
EVA walked through the upstairs hallway with a laundry basket in her hands. Each of the boys doors were closed, with music blearing from the three rooms.
From Snake's room was Motorhead, Ace Of Spades, and some very questionable sounds, though it wasn't very surprising because Meryl was in there with him.
From Liquid's bedroom, there was Vivaldi. And he'd most likely be painting on his easel.
And from Solidus's bedroom was Fergie, Fergalicious, And it sounded like Solidus was singing along.
Solidus and Radio: Fergalicious definition make them boys go crazy, they always claim they know me, comin' to me call me Stacey. I'm the F to the E-R-G the I, the E.
EVA walked to his door and knocked as hard a she could, trying to get his attention.
"Solidus!"
He didn't answer, and as she came to be more impatient by the second, she roundhouse kicked the door open from the lock. Though he still didn't seem to hear her as he was lifting waits.
Solidus: "I'm Fergalicious (So delicious). My body stay vicious, I be up in the just working on my fitness, He's my-"
EVA unplugged the radio and took a deep breath. "Solidus?"
She handed him a pile of clothes.
He smiled. "Thanks."
EVA went back out to the hallway and closed the door, soon after the music began again. She walked down the hall to Snake's doorway.
She raised her hand to knock on the door, though once she heard someone yell 'Snake', she took her hand back down and stepped away from the door.
EVA thought to herself: "Thank God there's music on in there."
EVA soon walked to Liquid's room.
She held the hamper in one arm and knocked on the door.
"Liquid?"
Liquid came to the door covered in paint and on his computer was Winter, The Four Seasons.
"Hello mother."
EVA came in and left a heap of clothes on the creaky bed. EVA frowned and bent over.
She stood up, with a cigarette in her hand. "Liquid?"
Liquid sighed. "It's Snake's. He's slept here once in the past day, and he's already managed to pollute my bedroom!"
EVA shook her head. "I told that little bastard no smoking in my house!"
Liquid laughed and turned to his easel. It was a picture of EVA's Triumph bike.
She examined it. "Wow. That's amazing."
"Thanks."
The room was full of paintings he'd drew. One was of Shadow Moses, another was EVA's Siberian Husky.
Right beside his easel was a picture of Big Boss's (and The Boss's) gun, The Patriot.
11: 51am
"Snake! Get your ass down here, breakfast is getting cold!"
EVA was about to set the table, everyone except Meryl and Snake were at the table.
"Snake get your bare ass down here right now!"
Otacon was helping EVA set the table. "Ya know their never gonna come down."
EVA sighed. "I know. It's the same with all his girlfriends, but all of them never lasted any longer than a week."
Otacon smiled. "How about I go up and get them?"
EVA stared at him in disbelief. "Wha-… you really don't wanna do that, I mean, you can if you want to… just… you really don't want to."
He smiled. "I think I'll be okay."
Otacon put the plates down and went up the stairs. He walked to Snake's door and knocked.
"Eh… Snake? You in there?"
There was no answer.
"Snake?"
He floated his hand around the handle for a moment. "Eh, Snake I'm coming in… you'd better be decent."
When he went to open the door, it opened from the other side. Snake was in only jeans, and he wouldn't let the door open any further than an acute angle.
"What can I do for ya?"
Otacon looked behind Snake as much as he could. "EVA's been calling you for ten minutes for breakfast?!"
Snake bit his lip. "Eh…"
Meryl came up behind him and threw her hands around him. "Hey Otacon!"
Otacon was staggered by the fact that Meryl was wearing only a t-shirt.
"Well guys… in fifty seconds EVA will come up here, because breakfast was six minutes ago and she is getting very pissed. And if both of you aren't decent… oh now you've only got forty seconds."
Meryl and Snake looked at each other and quickly put on something.
Snake came out with a T-shirt on. "Hey Otacon, this T-shirt say 'I just had sex with a hot red-head'?"
Otacon sighed. "Well, from the fact that it's on backwards might say something."
Snake ran back in and Otacon went back downstairs.
EVA looked at him. "Are they up?"
He nodded and Snake and Meryl came down the stairs behind him.
"Hey Mom."
EVA smiled falsely. "Nice of you to join us."
5:30pm
Snake and Ocelot pulled up outside the house. "So Uncle-?"
Ocelot sighed. "Don't call me uncle, I'm in my forties!"
Snake rolled his eyes. "Fair enough."
Snake got out of the car and the front door was open. "Wha… why's the front door open?"
They both ran to the door. Everything in the hall was either broken or on the ground. There was breaking sounds coming from the kitchen.
Ocelot and Snake looked at each other. Ocelot soon took his revolver from it's holster, and Snake took a 4,000 dollar 12th century sculpted Chinese vase from the piano and held it in a CQC position.
More things broke in the kitchen.
When Ocelot kicked the open the door, and there was a middle aged blonde woman was straddling a tall, six-packed man on the dinner table.
Snake slammed the vase on the counter and threw his hands over his eyes. "Oh! Mom, Dad!?"
They looked up. "Hi Boys."
Ocelot put his gun back in its holster and smirked. "Hi!"
EVA got off Big Boss and buttoned up her shirt. "Oh, Ocelot. What a surprise... Seeing as you practically live here."
Ocelot frowned. "Its not really a big surprise for me, your always at it!"
EVA sighed. "Shut up, Rasputin. Anyway, we're having meatloaf for dinner."
Snake nodded. "And… whose making it?"
EVA smiled. "Me."
The three boys looked at each other. "Eh… yeah?"
EVA frowned. "… Okay, tell me. What's wrong?!"
Big Boss zipped up his jeans. "Well, your culinary skills… are… questionable."
EVA picked up a cooking book. "I'm trying new methods."
Snake and Ocelot nodded nervously and went upstairs.
Upstairs
Ocelot and Snake walked through the hall.
"Meryl?"
They passed Solidus's room and Meryl and Solidus were playing boxing on Wii sports.
"Bring it on bitch!"
Snake and Ocelot came into the room.
"Hey dude's… and bitch."
Solidus paid no attention to the game and Meryl yelled cockily in victory. "Oh I brought it bitch!"
Solidus looked at the game. Winner… Player two.
He began cursing frequently. "Son of a… Fucking Nintendo! Piece of shit!"
Meryl leaped around the place. "Three outta four, fuckface!"
Solidus walked up to them. "Hey guys."
Ocelot smiled. "How's my Godson?"
"Great."
Meryl jumped on to Snake's back. "Hey."
He held her up by the legs and dropped her on the bed. "Ouch! Fucker."
Snake sighed and walked out the door.
The phone began to rang on the table behind him.
"Ocelot, can you get that!?" EVA called from the kitchen.
He picked up the phone. "Eh… Hello?"
"Oh, hi Ocelot!"Raiden had called.
Ocelot sighed in exasperation. "Hello Raiden."
"Hey, I'm having a little get together tomorrow, around four-ish, and I wanted invite you, Meryl, the whole gang around for brunch! You guys interested?"
Ocelot thought for a moment. "Eh… well, I should be able to make it, but the Snakes..."
Raiden's joyful mood was diminished at the first thought that Liquid or Snake couldn't be there. "What's wrong?"
Ocelot frowned. "It could get a little… chaotic."
"Oh come on, how bad could it get? Just get them over here and we'll see what happens."
Ocelot bit his lip. "Well… okay I guess it's your call. See ya at four."
He hung up.
Raiden's House
THUR 19th
Four-ish
They all pulled up outside the house and rang the doorbell.
The door opened and Raiden answered.
"Hey guys! Right on time. Come on in."
They walked inside. They're wasn't a lot of people there, eight or nine. There was a lot of food on the table, and a lot of booze.
Liquid, Meryl, Otacon, Snake, Solidus and Raiden sat in the bedroom with a well stocked amount of alcohol.
EVA and Big Boss were outside.
Meryl grabbed a bottle of Vodka.
"So, who's up for a game?"
Solidus smiled. "Why not. Weirdest place you've ever did it?"
Snake raised his arm. "I got it! I had to do some community service at this rehab centre. And I was working in this
convent for the pregnant teenagers, and…"
Otacon was wide-eyed, but not that shocked. "You didn't? Snake!?"
Snake smiled. "Yeah… and some of the young nuns."
Meryl frowned. "Really, because mine'd be when we went to Florida for our five month anniversary. We did it on the plane… men's bathroom."
Solidus frowned. "Really, you guys went to Florida?"
Snake nodded. "Yeah, we went to Disneyland."
Otacon spit up his drink and it came out his nose. "You… went to Disneyland?! You? Snake?"
Meryl nodded and rummaged in her purse. "Yeah, I have pictures in my pocket
She handed them to him. It was Meryl and Snake outside the Cinderella castle, Meryl in a camo bikini and Snake in leafed knee shorts and completely sunburnt.
Otacon laughed. "This… I'm so gonna copy this on my printer, and hang it up on our fridge."
Snake snatched it from his hands. "I have sensitive skin!"
They all laughed and Snake put it in Meryl's pocket and sat up.
Liquid thought. "Mine would be when I went to Paris with Hélène , we did it on the statue of Liberty."
Meryl frowned. "Who's Helen, your girlfriend?"
Snake sighed in sympathy. "Helen is Liquid's Snuffaluffacas."
Otacon frowned. "What's that."
Solidus sighed. "Sesame Street? No? Well, he was Big Bird's imaginary friend."
Meryl smiled at Liquid. "Aww."
Liquid Snarled at his brother.
Otacon nodded. "Mine would have been in Shadow Moses."
Snake looked at him wide eyed. "You got laid in Shadow Moses?!"
Otacon smiled. "In a locker, with Sniper Wolf."
Liquid and Snake looked at each other. "Score. She was hot!"
Raiden thought for a moment. "I guess mine would be in the kitchen of a five star restaurant."
The boys looked at him. "Score."
Solidus sighed. "Elevator!"
The twins looked at him. "Score!"
Meryl looked at them. "How about, what age, where, and who you lost your virginity to?"
Liquid nodded. "I was seventeen, to a bleach blonde in her sophomore year of college, and I think she studied art history, and it was in her boyfriend's dorm."
Snake gave a thumbs up. "Very nice. I'm pretty sure I was a freshman, and their was this really hot teacher, Mrs. Stanley, and she wore these thigh tight pencil skirt and a white shirt that could barely fit her, cos of her jugs. And she asked to see me after school… and I saw her after school."
Solidus frowned. "Didn't she want to see you after school Because you were failing calculus?"
"Yup. But thing got kinda different."
Meryl nodded. "I was in high school, and it was in a Ferrari, and I was back from a date with a sophomore and-"
Snake sighed. "And you did it with him?"
She shook her head. "No I did it with his brother, we had and affair the whole time we were together."
Snake eyed Liquid and Solidus in repulsion. "Stay away from my woman or I'll rip your balls off with a butter knife."
Liquid sighed. "Snake, you know I have a girlfriend."
Otacon cut between them. "Anyway, I was seventeen and I'd just got a full ride to Stanford and-"
Liquid smiled. "Really, I'm an Ivy league graduate myself, I went to Oxford."
"Brag about it why don't cha." Snake said under his breath.
Solidus sighed. "Snake! Just because you only got a football scholarship to Colorado University."
Snake frowned. "Hey… so did you!"
"I didn't get accepted because I ran with a ball around a field, I got accepted because I had brains!"
The brothers continued to argue, Meryl cut in. "I went to Yale."
The room went silent, Snake frowned. "You went to Yale?"
She sighed. "I didn't wanna go, just, my Dad was rich and he enrolled me without even asking me… so not so long after, I dropped out and went to Shadow Moses."
Snake smiled. "I'm sleep'n with an intellectual!"
Otacon shook his head. "Anyway, I was seventeen and I was at this bar, playing pool, it was almost closing time and this waitress just started coming on to me."
The twins nodded. "Score."
Meryl looked at Solidus. "What about you?"
Solidus thought for a moment. "I was fourteen go'n on fifteen and it was in Mom's auto shop, she had just hired this malteser (Brunette on the outside, Blonde on the inside) and She was fixing up Dad's old 64 Cadillac, ya know the one that Mom made him give to Sigint because he looked like a gangster? But she jumped in the back seat to stitch up the seat, and she just threw me in the car and ripped off her shirt."
Raiden nodded. "I was eighteen and… actually, it was the night I met Rose."
Ocelot walked in the door. "Hey kids, where's your father?"
Big Boss came out. "Hey Bleachy."
"You still having dinner tonight?"
"Yeah, I also invited Para-medic (Dr Clark) and Sigint (Donald Anderson)."
Ocelot smiled. "Great. Haven't seen them in, what, fifteen years."
"Yeah, it's gonna be good to see them again."
Big Boss and EVA's place
9:4pm
EVA set the china on the table and the doorbell rang. Big Boss came to the door.
"Para-medic!"
She smiled. "Snake!"
"What?" A deep, husky voice came from upstairs.
Para-medic handed him a cardboard box.
He examined the box and opened it. "Oh, a cardboard box, a snake, a Calorie Mate and a fly agaric poisonous mushroom, aw… how thoughtful."
She hugged him. "Hey Snake, haven't seen ya since I made your children."
EVA came out. "Dr Clark!"
She hugged her. EVA brought her into the living room and Sigint came in.
"Yo, Snake!"
"What?" A deep husky voice came from upstairs.
Sigint handed him a Mk22 tranquilizer gun.
"Aw, it looks exactly the same when I got it. Thanks."
He smiled. "No problem-o. So when's the last time I saw ya?"
"Around… fifteen, sixteen years. Para-medic and Ocelot are already here. Come on in."
Big Boss closed the door behind him and they walked to the dinning room.
EVA walked to the stairs. "Boys get your ass down here!"
The brothers jogged down the stairs. Para-medic smiled. "Hey boy's."
"Hey Para-medic."
Big Boss sat Para-medic at the table, she smiled. "Hmm… such a gentle man."
EVA laughed. "Ha, you'd be surprised."
Ocelot came in and Para-medic eyed him up and down. "Wow."
He walked towards her. "Hello Para-Medic, nice to see you again."
Her legs had turned to jelly. "Eh… hi, Ocelot."
Ocelot shook her hand and walked to the bathroom. She stared him down.
Big Boss giggled. "Doctor and Redneck sit'n in a tree, do'n someth'n they shouldn't be, starts with an S, ends with an X, oh my god it must be SEX!"
She hit him. "Shut up ass-wipe.",
Big Boss nodded. "I'll ask him if he thinks your hot."
Para-Medic smiled. "Thanks."
EVA stared at them. She was always the jealous type of wife, especially when it's his best female friend who's the same age as his wife.
They all sat at the table.
EVA served turkey on the table. They all looked at each other in caution, Ocelot cut threw it and slowly examined the turkey.
"Eh… did you cook this?"
She placed the platter on the table. "No, Solidus did."
They all quickly burrowed into their plates.
Four minutes later
They sat picking what's left of the food on their plates, taking about pointless things.
"Damn it Para-medic, I'm not afraid of Dracula!"
She smiled. "Okay, okay. I was just making a point."
There was silence in the room.
"and I'm not afraid of Vampires." Big Boss mumbled under his breath.
Snake frowned. "Eh, Dad… who shot out your eye? Was it Volgin or The Boss?"
Big Boss glared at Ocelot who was looking up at the roof, whistling.
"Well Snake, your Godfather was about to shoot your Mother, and your Dad pushed him away, and bullet came to my eye(!)"
The brothers looked at each other.
"So, my Godfather… shot out my father's eye?"
Big Boss nodded. Ocelot sat up. "Well… in my defence, you jumped in front of the bullet."
Para-medic sighed. "Can we please just talk about else? I had to listen to the same argument every fucking Christmas or thanksgiving or any damn encounter these two make."
EVA nodded in agreement. "Yeah it's always the same. Now who wants desert?"
They all looked at each other in hesitation. "Eh… did you make it?"
EVA sighed. "No, Solidus did."
They all nodded in relief, and EVA went to the kitchen.
Para-medic looked at Liquid. "So Liquid, your Mom tells me you went to Oxford. I went to Harvard, what year did you graduate?"
Liquid smiled. "Oh, 2002. I majored in psychology."
Snake and Big Boss were bored as hell. "Oh god, can you to stop taking about Ivy league? It's like your mocking us!"
EVA came out with a plate of chocolate cake and placed it on the table. The boys each took a piece.
Solidus nodded praising himself. "I am so, so good."
Snake agreed with chocolate lynching from his chin. "Mm… It's better than sex! No… it's almost better than sex!"
Sigint took his keys out of his pocket. "Well, that was lovely EVA… or Solidus. But I'd better be hitting the road, it's a long drive back to Brooklyn."
EVA smiled. "Nonsense, you'll stay here tonight, and Para-medic."
Para-medic looked at her watch. "Well, I guess I don't wanna drive all the way up to Massachusetts this late, but I don't wanna be a bother."
"It's no problem at all. David, go set up the pull out sofa beds for Sigint and Para-medic."
Snake headed to the living room.
FRI 20th
7:32am
Solidus put the bacon on the pan. Everybody but Ocelot and Liquid were up.
EVA came inside covered in gasoline from when she was fixing up her bike, she saw Para-Medic and Big Boss fighting over the salt shaker.
"Snake! Give it to me! I had it first."
It soon spilled all over them. "Nice go'n doc!"
"Wha… It's not my fault you grabbed it in the fist place."
EVA glared at them. She couldn't help but think their was something going on, she didn't understand the how a man and a woman could be anything other than love or hate.
She tried to ignore it. "Are Liquid and Ocelot up yet?"
"No, the UK never get up until eleven, and I guess Russia is the same."
She smiled. "Did we ever even go to Britain?"
"… No. I guess the accent just popped up."
Meryl walked out from Snake's room.
Para-Medic smiled. "Hey Meryl good to see ya again."
She nodded. "Hi."
Para-Medic looked around the room. "Eh… why do you have so many houseguests?"
EVA put the greasy cloth on the counter. "Well, I needed to do something about our family problems, so I suggested we see a Councillor, and that Councillor just so happened to be Otacon. And he suggested himself and the boys move in for two-three weeks so he could understand their problems better."
Para-Medic nodded. "How's it working out."
EVA sighed. "…"
Para-Medic smiled. "I'm sorry but… your family is pretty dysfunctional."
EVA nodded. "I know. We just really need some work, and were gonna do the best we can."
She placed the bacon on the table. They all picked off it.
Big Boss devoured it all in 2.3 seconds.
Para-Medic shook her head. "Pig."
He looked over at her. "What?"
She looked away. "Nothing."
Big Boss took four slices of bacon and stuffed them in her face. "Oh, who's a piggy now, huh!? Who's a piggy now!?"
She screeched. "Aaarrrgh! You little bastard!"
Para-Medic kicked him off the stool. "Huh… bitch."
EVA's jealousy pulsed through her veins. Snake came in covered with grease and shirtless. Para-Medic stared.
"Wow."
Big Boss shook his head. "Women."
"eh Mom, I think I accidentally shot whole in the tank. It's leaking like crazy."
Big Boss started laughing. "He, he, he."
"What's so funny?"
"It's leaking like crazy."
She sighed. "I guess it's okay, it's happened before."
EVA and Snake walked out. As she walked out the door, she took a short glimpse of Para-Medic leaning on Big Boss.
6:17pm
Ocelot walked throughout the house and it was empty, but their cars were outside.
The only part of the house he didn't check was the basement. He opened the door and heard a TV on in one room, and grunting and banging in the other.
He slowly opened the door, and saw EVA punching and kicking the pads on Snakes hand's.
It was a training room. Their was a punching bag, two dummies, weights, a shooting rang, padding on the ground and walls, and some obstacles for sparing. There was also a CD player and a mini fridge, full up with Vodka, beer, a few water bottles, gaiter aid, red bull and gone off cheese.
She punched his hands in her exact pin point, and to finish it off she roundhouse kicked him to the ground.
"Mom you're meant to kick the pads not me."
EVA gave him a hands up. "It's more fun the other way."
Ocelot laughed. "That was impressive, though you don't move as well as you used to."
Snake backed away to the wall. "Oh no you didn't!"
Solidus walked in. "Hey guys."
He was ignored.
Snake stopped him when he headed to their direction. "I wouldn't do that."
EVA smiled. "Oh really? Then how about you test that for yourself?"
She went in to a martial arts stance.
Ocelot sighed. "Now EVA, I don't wanna hurt you, so I'm gonna go very eas-"
She punched him. "What was that?"
He punched her to the ground, and she swiped under his feet.
Solidus and Snake were laughing and betting, Snake for Ocelot and Solidus for EVA.
EVA gripped him up against the ground and he kicked her off. She went for a kick, he caught it and threw her back.
She sprung herself up and ran up an obstacle, he ran up after her and punched her, and she kicked him down.
EVA jumped down after him and he got back up. "Now, how does somebody win?"
EVA sighed. "If your pinned for five seconds or if you surrender, the you've lost."
Ocelot nodded. "Oh."
He then dive rolled over to one of the dummies. EVA grabbed a long wooden stick they used for sparring.
She swung the stick to his head, he ducked and she knocked off the dummy's head instead.
He blocked her attacks with the dummy. Ocelot threw it on the ground and kicked her in the abdomen and the stick fell out of her grasp.
EVA cartwheel kicked him, and the force knocked him down.
She stood over him and threw a punch, Ocelot caught the punch and flung her away.
He hopped up and grabbed EVA in a chokehold.
Ocelot gasped heavily. "You give up?"
She smiled. "Never."
EVA grabbed his arm and flung him over her shoulder. She walked over and put her leg against his neck.
He struggled to get out of it, and eventually kicked her off.
EVA hopped up on Ocelot and tightly wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck, chocking him. He yelped and caught her hips and swung around in an attempt to fling her off but she wouldn't budge.
He ran straight into the mirror and it shattered. EVA yelled in pain and chocked him tighter.
Big Boss came in the door. "What's go'n on?"
Solidus pointed at EVA wrapped around Ocelot. He frowned. "Adamska! What are you do'n to my woman?"
From his point of view it looked like Ocelot was pinning his wife against a broken mirror.
When EVA screamed "Ocelot!" he gasped.
EVA soon fell flat on the ground and Ocelot came down with her. He punched her twice until she blocked the third punch and pushed him off.
She did a three kick combo, one to the abdomen and two to the face.
He punched her to the face and she backed into one of the dummies.
He went for another punch, EVA dodged it by bending down and Ocelot hit the dummy instead.
She tackled his torso and banged him into the wall. He grunted and she kneed him three times in the stomach.
Ocelot pushed her away and kicked her the stomach. She windmill kicked him in the head and knocked him over.
She then pinned him against the ground. "One, two, three, four, five."
EVA got off him and gave him a hand up.
Snake sighed and gave Solidus ten dollars. Solidus laughed in joy.
Big Boss stared at Ocelot. "What were you do'n to my wife?!"
Ocelot looked at EVA and then pointed at her. "Eh… Well, she started it!"
EVA gasped. "Wha…! No, I did not!"
Big Boss shook his head. "Your like children. Anyway, were watching some movies, wanna join us?"
He nodded. "Sure."
6:31pm
Big Boss, Ocelot, EVA, Solidus and Snake walked into the room next to the training room. Liquid, Meryl, Para-medic and Otacon were sitting on the couch watching TV.
Big Boss threw Para-Medic's legs up and sat down, she dropped her legs on his lap.
Snake picked up a pack of DVDs and looked threw them. "Okay, we've got four DVDs. Scream?"
They all looked at each other in disgust. "Oh god no."
Snake nodded and threw the box on the table. "Okay. Eh… The Fast and the Furious?"
They frowned. "Eh… no, to many times."
Snake looked at the next DVD. "Wrong Turn?"
They nodded. "Yeah, maybe."
"And… Dracula?"
Para-Medic hopped up. "Oh yeah, lets watch Dracula!"
Big Boss shook his head. "No, no, no, no! We'll watch Wrong Turn."
He stuck in the DVD with out anyone's opinion.
About 20 minutes into Wrong Turn, Scene: their hiding under the bed in the house
At this point of the movie, each of them were clenching onto their pillows.
Meryl was hiding behind Snake, who was trying to keep it cool and act masculine, but actually shitting himself. Para-Medic and EVA were hiding behind Big Boss.
Liquid, Otacon, Ocelot and Solidus were also scared as hell.
It was the part when they were under the bed.
Meryl dug her head in to Snake. "Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god! I can't watch!"
Snake laughed. "Well, I guess now we know Evan's dead, And damn that red-head is hot."
Meryl looked at him, scowling.
Snake smiled. "I mean… this red-head."
EVA and Para-Medic's hearts were thumping. Para-Medic gasped. "Oh god, he's awake!"
EVA dug her fingers into her scalp. "Run, Run, Run!"
Big Boss held both of them in each arm.
He smirked and looked at them. "Ya know… this looks like a great little triangle?"
The both ignored him. "Shhh!"
He nodded. "Okay, sorry."
Everyone's hearts were racing. They glared at the TV, wide eyed and petrified.
6:58pm
End of Movie
They were still shaking.
Big Boss got up to take out the disc. "That was… Good."
Para-Medic and EVA nodded. "Yeah, it was very good, no doubt… And I will be freaked out for a eternity."
EVA sighed. "What'll we watch next?"
Para-Medic sat up. "Oh lets watch Dracula?!"
Big Boss's eyes widened. "No!"
She moaned. "Come on… Please?"
Snake and Liquid nodded. "Yeah, Dad. Come on, Why not?"
Big Boss sighed. He didn't wanna tell his sons about the Dracula thing.
"Okay, fine."
He stuck the DVD in. He sat back on the couch.
As soon as the movie started Para-Medic kept her eye on Big Boss.
An Hour into the movie (I never saw Dracula so I don't know what scene it is)
Big Boss sat glaring at the television that he really didn't want to glare at.
He knew if Para-Medic saw him hiding behind his pillow, she'd never let it go.
Para-Medic kept a close eye on him.
Snake was staring at the TV. "Eww… well I guess that blonde chick is dead."
Otacon nodded. "Most definitely, Snake. He cracked her neck right around."
EVA noticed Big Boss's little reaction to the movie. "Eh, John? Are you okay?"
He looked at her as soon as she finished the sentence, this was his only excuse to look away from the TV.
"What? Yeah… never better."
Para-Medic and EVA looked at each other. Para-Medic squinted. "Are you… sure?"
He nodded. "Yeah. Why wouldn't I?"
Para-Medic smiled. "Okay."
Snake and Solidus looked at the father in confusion. "Dad what's wrong?"
Big Boss sighed. "Nothing."
He neglected each question about the Dracula movie.
8:20pm
End of Movie
Big Boss looked traumatized. Para-Medic got so much pleasure out of his facial expression. She tried really hard not to laugh.
Solidus and Snake sighed. "That movie was very disappointing!"
Meryl nodded. "Yeah, that was shit."
Para-Medic sighed. "Well… ya no that was made between the fifty's and sixties. And I used to love these movies."
Liquid and Snake laughed. "How?!"
She shrugged. "Honestly… I don't know."
They all got up off there seats and walked to the door.
Right before the three brothers went up the stairs to leave the basement, Otacon stopped them.
"Wait. I've been watching you three, And you guys have gotta bond more. So you are stay here and stick together like glue!"
Snake went to protest, but Otacon stopped him. "Snake no! I don't wanna hear excuses like: 'I've only got two carton's left' or 'We'll die of starvation', Snake ya gust had a pack of Revel's, to bowls of popcorn and there is an unlimited stock of alcohol in the mini fridge."
Otacon went for the door. "And, I'll have someone come down here every once and a while."
They each took a long sigh.
********************************************************************************************