Previously:

"Uchiha Sasuke! This is the Akatsuki Uke Anti-Rape Squad! You're hereby ordered to cease and desist your attempted rape of subject, Uzumaki Naruto!" an older boy with short red hair and brown eyes in a black dress shirt and matching slacks with a loose red tie around his neck stood up with incredible balance on the wall of roses, a black armband with a red cloud on it was slung onto his upper left arm.

"You'll never take me alive, coppers!" Sasuke shook his fist at Sasori, snatching a shrieking Naruto by the waist and hoisting him over his shoulder and turning to escape, cursing when he another "cop" with girly, long, blonde hair covering one eye and a pony-tail with only about a third of their hair actually in it. They had stormy blue eyes-not as pretty as Naruto's of course- which they used to glare at him from the pathway. He was dressed in a black tank top and a red scarf was tied around his neck and the cloud design, showing him to be a member of Akatsuki was stitched into a wristband on his right wrist, he'd opted for a red and black plaid mini-skirt over tight black jeans and red DC's with belts lay on his hips.

"Sasuke, let me go! Deidara! Sasori! Help!" Naruto shrieked, pounding on Sasuke's back.

"Sasuke, let Naruto go." Deidara ordered, crossing his arms in a lazy gesture, sighing when the brunette charged him. In a quick movement he snagged to arm holding Naruto and forced the Uchiha to drop him…KUNG-FU STYLE!

"Run." He suggested towards his fellow blonde who was already scrambling away.

"No! Naruto! You promised we'd make sweet love tonight!" Sasuke twisted in Deidara's grip. "Naruto! PLEASE HAVE MY BABIES!!!!"

Sasori jumped down, walking over to them "Uhuh, sure. Itachi said the same thing, he was a little more graphic of course…" he trailed off, remembering the long line of Shakespearian love speak the brunette have thrown at Uzumaki Kyuubi, the red-haired boy very close to puking. "Come on, lets go join your big bro in Counseling…" he muttered, helping Deidara drag the screaming brunette away.

"Naruto!!!!!!"

May: Chapter 2, XD like the title? Warning: Yaoi, lotsa it in all formats of fluff, man smex, and speaking of man smex…XDD but we all like that, don't we?

Chapter 2: Everyone knows Therapist is a typo of "The Rapist"

"My, my, what am I going to do with you two?" Orochimaru, a long-haired, extremely pale man with yellow eyes, dressed in a silk, pink dress shirt and black slacks sighed at the two occupants in his room.

Uchiha Sasuke crossed his legs in a bored manner "It's not my fault my adorable saiai (sweetheart) is…well, adorable." His eyes went starry "I'll bed you yet, Uzumaki Naruto!" he struck a victory pose in the center of the room, very similar to a style used by the Gym teacher and his son, currently attending the academy. Neither Orochimaru or the other occupant of the room seemed to find this out of the ordinary…well, it wasn't.

"Orochimaru-sensei, would you please release us? I'd like to return to stalking my Tenshi,(angel) Kyuubi…" Uchiha Itachi, older brother to Uchiha Sasuke, stated calmly, his blood red eyes focused on Orochimaru's golden ones. He was dressed in a long-sleeved, black shirt, torn stylishly and erotically, the tears big enough to give a pretty good view of his smooth torso and slim, yet muscular arms. It was a wonder how the teachers didn't yell at him… then again, they may like the view just as much as everyone else. His pants were tight and made of blacker leather, a dangerous combination when on this body. Various tears marred these too, a strategically placed one on his upper, inner thigh.

This outfit was part of his "Kyuubi Seduction Plan, v.112.6.8" …don't ask why the numbers are so high, he'll glare at you until you die.

"I love your outfit, Itachi-kun." Orochimaru replied, nodding his head in approval at Itachi's choice of apparel.

"Yes, you and all of my other fans, the problem being that Kyuubi doesn't like it, Gods know why…I'm sexy, and you can clearly see the shape of my perfect ass!"

Oh, Orochimaru had noticed, and nodded in sympathy "Poor you, something must be physically or mentally wrong with Kyuubi." He added, flinching when Itachi glared at him with Uchiha Death Glare v. 54.7.9…don't ask why these numbers are high either.

"There's nothing wrong with my darling Kyuubi." He stated icily, completely ruining the moment by adding on an incredibly girly sigh at the end of things, resting his head in his hands in a dreamy way.

"And Naru-koi's just divine!" Sasuke squealed, running around in circles like a fangirl.

Orochimaru watched the girly sighing Itachi and fangirlish Sasuke and nodded. "Nothing wrong here, get out."

Uzumaki Kyuubi prided himself on many things. His brains, his cute little brother, and in a much less exaggerated way than Itachi, his looks. He was dressed in a silky black turtleneck with the sleeves stylishly ripped off and white short shorts. He regretted this immensely when Itachi attempted to rip said shorts to shreds while trying to get in his pants, twenty-seven times…before he could scream rape. Damn that bag gag Itachi's always carrying around to use on him!

He sighed, curling up on a library reading chair, they were so soft and lush, you sank right in! "At least Itachi'll have to stay in counseling for a little while…" he whispered, relieved Hidan and Kakuzu had gotten there in time…let's just say that if it was strip poker, Kyuubi would have nothing to bet with. He turned the page of his book, jumping when a voice chuckled up directly above him.

Itachi watched as Kyuubi's head snapped up, his crimson eyes meeting those slitted orbs. He nearly moaned when the red head spoke after not hearing Kyuubi's voice for so long.

"I…ta…chi?" Kyuubi stared blankly at the smirking brunette, wasn't Itachi supposed to be in counseling?!...Shit.

"Hello Kyuubi, darling, what should we play today?" he swiftly dove down and forced his lips onto Kyuubi's.

Kyuubi gasped in shock, swiftly biting down on Itachi's lips, causing the brunette to hiss and jerk back. His eyes clashed with Itachi's, saw the greedy lust in them and screamed.

"Akatsuki! HELP!"(A/N: Imagine this is the actual series screamed by anyone, XD) Kyuubi squealed, trying to push a grabby Itachi away. "Rape!" he screamed, squeaking when Itachi's hand slid into the front of his pants, the other holding his wrists in place. "No!" he cried, kicking and thrashing around wildly.

"Uchiha Itachi!" Said brunette was hit hard in the back of his head.

Kyuubi leaned away as an unconscious Uchiha fell onto his recently endangered lap, and legs, did I mention his body over all?

Kyuubi looked up to thank his savior and paled. "Uh, hi, and thank you, Madara-sensei!" 'Shit! This is double-rape! Help! Mommy!' he thought, whimpering when Madara grinned, brushing his lips against his flushed cheek.

"No thanks needed, Kyuubi-kun." Madara, an older man with long, yet spiky, black hair with one eye covered in a long bang, dressed in a black dress shirt and gray slacks, purred right back, crimson eyes half-lidded. He straightened, winking at Kyuubi, before walking off, holding the book Kyuubi was reading.

The redhead winced 'Double shit, that was the only copy! And I wanna read it real bad! He probably expects me to go over towards the gym room to get it, maybe Gai-sensei can get it for me…' various thoughts ran through his head, too busy thinking, he didn't hear Itachi stir.

Itachi's dark eyelashes fluttered opened, his gaze resting on Kyuubi's worried face. "Mmm… what's wrong, baby?" he questioned, smirking when Kyuubi jumped slightly, his face resting on Itachi's.

"Oh, you're awake…" Kyuubi stated stupidly, blushing when Itachi picked him, before swapping positions so that Kyuubi was straddling him. "O-Oi!" he squeaked, squirming slightly, stopping at the look that passed over Itachi's face.

"…Yes, who hit me?" Itachi wondered aloud, glancing around lazily.

"Umm…" Kyuubi braced himself for the attack. "Madara-sensei?" He flinched when Itachi's eyes sharpened, snapping to his.

"…What. Did. He. Do. To. You…" Itachi bit out, murder lacing his words. Kyuubi winced. The only thing worse than a love-struck Itachi was a jealous Itachi.

"N-nothing!" Kyuubi replied, worrying more about calming the brunette down then the position they were in.

"Kyuubi…" Said redhead grew even more worried, no "kun" or "chan" or "darling" or "my favorite bunny cosplayer"? Uh-oh…

"Really! He…" Kyuubi trailed off at the look it Itachi gave him. "Well, he didn't do much..?"

Itachi's eyes narrowed dangerously "How much?" He demanded, not asked.

Kyuubi laughed nervously "Well, it was just a peck on the cheek…" he yelped when Itachi pushed him forcefully off his lap, falling onto the ground with a hard bump. "Ow! Itachi!" he glared after the brunette's retreating form, despite the situation he was just in.

'I'm gonna kill that Mo'Fo…' Itachi thought, snarling at the librarian that told him to go apologize to Kyuubi. The lady pressed herself against the wall when he passed.

Sasuke looked high and Sasuke looked low. "Oh, where? Oh, where, has my little fox gone? Oh, where? Oh, where, can he be? I need to fuck him so hard and so long, that way we'll both be happy!" he sang cheerfully, skipping along the halls, the few sane students left in the school (freshmen), avoided him, the others frankly didn't give a shit.

Naruto scrambled into the nurse's office "Granny! Hide me!" he wailed, running over to a busty, blonde-haired woman with hazel eyes.

Tsunade, one considered to have made plastic surgery a miracle, glanced up from her paperwork. "Look brat, I don't have time to protect you from your boy toy, leave me alone."

"B-but! Gaara said he heard him singing gay nursery rhymes in the halls while he skipped along, SKIPPED GRANNY, SKIPPED!" Naruto flailed his arms a bit to emphasize his point.

Tsunade sweatdropped "Shouldn't he be in counseling for that sort of thing?"

"Orochimaru-sensei's their counselor…" Naruto muttered "Dirty bastard…" he added.

"Hell yeah, go lie in bed, pull the curtains closed." Tsunade returned to her paperwork, drinking sake out of a coffee mug so she didn't look suspicious.

Naruto dove onto the bed, yanking the curtain closed as the door opened.

"Aha!" Sasuke cried, pointing at the curtained bed, an imaginary antenna poking out of his head "My Smexy Fox's Ass Sensor's always right! Naruto-chan!" he dove for the curtains, yanking them back to reveal: Sabaku-no-Gaara.

"Sssshhhhiiiitttt!" Sasuke whined, pouting at the resting redhead.

Gaara, with short red hair and jade green eyes, insomnia that left lines around his eyes till he resembled a panda or raccoon, or both, suffered from lacko-eyebroworeo-lus, and was dressed in a gray t-shirt and jeans that had seen better days. Traces of sand covered his attire. He peeled one eye open before, sitting up, grunting. "Uchiha." He greeted gruffly, scratching his head in a lazy gesture.

"Gaa-chan! (A/N: Imagine how high Sasuke must be right now…XD) Where's my widdle foxy?" Sasuke chirped, glancing around the room for his soon-to-be-wife.

Gaara felt his eye give an involuntary twitch '"Gaa-chan"' "I don't know, I stopped by here to rest my eyes."

"You took a nap?!" Gaara stared at the brunette like he was an idiot, oh wait! He was.

"…You're crazy…"

"Only for my lovey-dovey mate!"

Gaara buried his face into his hands, anymore of this 'cute speak' and he'd have to kill something. He couldn't help but smile evilly at the thought of Sasuke's head blown to pieces, with bits of blood and gore, not to mention brain matter, if there was any. Ah, he'd have to take a picture!

Sasuke sweatdropped as Gaara grinned evilly at him "Uhh…Anywho, seen my Naru around?" he asked, edging away from his fellow mental patient, except for completely different reasons.

"No." Gaara replied, trying to calm down by imagining he was with his teddy bear, Momo-chan, in heaven, who died recently in a wood chipper accident, due to his older brother's immense stupidity. Damn you, Shuukaku, you lazy drunk!

"Oh…are you lying to me?" Sasuke persisted, tilted his head to the side questioningly.

"YES! He's under the goddamn bed, now leave me the fuck alone!" he snapped, rubbing his temples in an attempt to fight the bitch of a headache approaching.

"Naru! My sexy lover!" Sasuke dragging the screaming blonde out from under the bed.

"Gaara! You dirty traitor!" Naruto screeched, clawing at the ground.

"Sorry bro, gotta look out for numero uno." Gaara replied, waving bye. Naruto turned desperately to a pity-wracked Tsunade who shook her head.

"Don't worry Naru, I'll take you gently, but by then you'll be screaming for me to be rough and hard." Sasuke licked his lips, dragging the blonde across the floor. "Come on! It's time to party like the rabbits do!"

"NOO!!!!!"

Madara glanced up from his clipboard as the door to his gym slammed open, Itachi in it's wake.

Itachi walked towards Madara, however, due to the fact there was about 30-40 feet between them this took a while.

"Hustle!" Madara pumped a fist into the air. Instead, Itachi stopped and crossed his arms.

"You touched my bitch." He growled lowly, his voice ending on a hiss.

Madara smirked "You're bitch? He screamed rape when you kissed him…I don't recall him doing that when I gave him a little smooch on the cheek, unlike you, I have enough self-control not to try to slam into him, feeling those slim hips buckle as I shove my dick deep into his virgin flesh…Mmm…" Madara licked his lips at the wet dreams plaguing him at night.

Itachi twitched. Ladies and Gentleman, it's been proven that it possible to be aroused and pissed at the same time. The leather pants didn't help much either.

"Take it I'm right?"

"Pedophilic son of a motherfucking bitch." Itachi hissed, eyes narrowing even more.

"Now, now, is that anyway to speak to your uncle? Come on, if your allowed to be attracted to that hot piece of under-aged ass, why can't I? However…" he added, at the deadly look Itachi gave him "If you find anyone closer to my age that resembles either of those boys you and little Sasuke seem so eager to fuck against the nearest solid object, I'll back off." He crossed his arms and smirked at Itachi "Deal?"

"…Deal."

May: Kukuku…LET IT BE KNOWN! Kyuubi AND Naruto ARE VIRGINS! We don't know for sure about Sasuke and Itachi, lol. THOUGH ITACHI AND SASUKE HAVE COME CLOSE, THEY'VE NEVER MANAGED TO BED EITHER OF THEM!

Itachi: Damn you, Anti-rape Squad!

Sasuke: Damn you, Uchiha Bad Luck Syndrome!

Please review! I need company! I'm an only child with busy parents T.T