Tara sighed with relief when she finally caught sight of the hostel. She stopped at the corner of the street and turned to Faith. Tara had been supporting the slayer since they had left the forest and she had a hard time to get the still unconscious brunette back to the hostel.
Well, Faith wasn't unconscious in the strict meaning of the word. Her eyes were opened and she could walk and move. But she acted as she had lost any connection to the world. She didn't appear to hearing Tara when the blonde was talking to her and she was unable to make a decision of her own.
After Kira's departure, Tara had tried for a long moment to snap Faith out of her trance. But she had met no success and she finally had to decide to help her friend to get back to the hostel. They were both soaked from the snow, hurt and exhausted from their fight with Kira. The last thing they needed was to catch a cold.
Then, Tara had put Faith on her feet but she had to support her to make the slayer follow her steps. That way, it took them more than twice the time usually needed to cross the distance between the forest and the hostel. Tara wasn't used to such physical exertion and she was more than happy when they finally reached the door of the hostel.
She got the key out after a minute rummaging through Faith's pockets and opened the door as silently as possible. The girls slipped inside and found themselves in front of the stairs and Tara sighed. There was one last ordeal before she reached their bed.
Tara appraised this new obstacle and sighed once more. Then, she tightened her grip on Faith's waist and whispered more for herself than for the other girl:
"Let's take you upstairs,"
She then started to climb the stairs very carefully, one step slowly after the other, taking great care not to make any sound. It was not an easy task with Faith limping on her and barely able to advance. Gripping firmly the banister, Tara hauled them up the stairs with great effort and finally emerged on the second floor, sweating profusely and panting heavily. Dragging Faith along the hallway up to their room seemed very easy compared to their climbing of the stairs, and soon Tara sighed with relief when the door of their room burst open. She helped Faith to the bed and came back to close the door before slumping heavily on the mattress near the brunette, panting like she had just ran a marathon.
"Goddess," she breathed. "Faith's right, I really need some physical exertion,"
She was about to add something but had to keep quiet to inhale a large part of fresh air. She remained still for several minutes, sitting on the bed and trying to get her breathing and pounding heart back to normal.
When she was satisfied with her cardiac rhythm, she turned to Faith on her right and stared at the motionless slayer. The brunette was sitting just behind her with her back against the wall. Her face was covered in dried blood and her hair was someplace glued to her face, still wet from an ugly mixture of blood, dirt and snow. Her chest lifted regularly, following the rhythm of her breathing and her eyes were wide-opened, like she stared at something in the distance, but Tara knew she did not see what was in front of her. What did she see instead of their room? Tara had no idea.
She contemplated the slayer's face for a few more moments, and then slowly got up to reach the bag, lying on the floor a few feet from her. She opened it and removed the first aid kit. She put it on the bed, and then headed for the bathroom where she took a towel she slightly moistened with water.
She came back to the bed and sat beside Faith. She cleaned gently her face with the towel and hoped the slayer wouldn't remember that moment when she'd finally wake up from whatever her state was. Faith would, with no doubt at all, be utterly furious about what Kira had done to her. Tara already wished she wouldn't be the one whom Faith would wash her anger on.
But though she knew Faith would be angry at her helplessness and vulnerability – how could she – Faith, the magnificent slayer – be taken care of by a simple witch? The brunette wouldn't like that, that was for sure - Tara just couldn't leave her in such a pitiful state.
So, when she was done with washing her face off the blood and dirt from the fight, she started to clean her numerous cuts and to try to soothe her innumerable bruises.
She hoped that somehow, her cares would bring Faith back to her senses, whether it was because she was furious or not.
But it did not happen. Now washed and clean, Faith did not react more than previously in the slightest, and Tara sighed deeply in utter desperation. The fact was, the blonde had no idea what to do. Even if Kira had suggested that Tara would know what to do as a witch, the blonde just felt overwhelming panic when she tried to think about what curse Kira had used against Faith and how to undo it.
She flipped quickly through the pages of the magic book they bought not so long ago but it was a very basic item and she had no hope to find anything in it related to dark magic such as Kira used. Besides, she felt so exhausted that she could barely keep her eyes open above the pages.
Tara decided it was a better idea to try to sleep. She would find nothing about Faith's current state tonight; that was something she was sure about. Maybe tomorrow, when she would be rested, she'd remember something useful from her previous life in magic. But now, all her body was begging for rest.
She considered Faith, still motionless against the wall and wondered what to do with her. Faith would probably not fall asleep and remain awake for what was left of the night. Tara looked back down at her magic book and flipped through the pages until she found the page she looked for. A sleep spell was something she could do and it would make Faith the greater good to sleep a few hours.
Tara stripped the slayer's clothes from her body, leaving her in her underwear and slipped a tee shirt on Faith without her batting an eye. She lay her on her side of the bed and then recited the spell in Latin, keeping an eye on the book though she didn't need it, remembering that simple spell by heart for having used it so many times on her mother when she was so ill in the end. Faith fell asleep almost immediately and her eyes closed for the first times in hours. Tara watched her regular breathing for a moment and when she was sure the slayer was sleeping quietly, she slipped beneath the sheets in turn.
***
Morning happened a lot quicker than Tara expected.
The night had been short and difficult. Her sleep hadn't been as restful as she wished it had been, as nightmares of Kira attacking them all over again had filled her dreams.
Tara still felt exhausted but she found out she just couldn't sleep more. She pushed the blankets aside and got up. She stretched her numb arms and legs before turning to Faith. The slayer was still sleeping and her sleep appeared neither especially disturbed nor restful.
Tara knew she still had a few hours before she awoke, and decided to make the best of them to find something to help the brunette. Her first move was to dive again in her magic book, even though she knew she had little chance to find something useful in it.
After about an hour of attentive reading, making notes, crossing them out, she had to admit she had been right. Nothing in her book would help her. Though she did not really count on it, the blonde could not help feeling sorely disappointed.
As she closed the book after flicking through the pages one last time, she turned to Faith and contemplated the motionless slayer. For the briefest moment, she thought about calling Giles and the council. But she gave in that idea as soon as it occurred to her. She knew Faith would hate even more if someone else than Tara saw her like that. Tara decided the council would be her very last chance.
She got up from her chair and started to pace the room absent-mindedly, her brows furrowed, deeply lost in thoughts. She had to find something on her own, she kept repeating to herself. Saving Faith was up to her. But it was the first time in months - the first time since she had come back to be precise- that Tara had to do something on her own. Something important. And then she realized how much Faith had made her life easier, taking charge for every single aspect of their life since the very first day when they had left Cleveland together. Now alone or so, Tara felt utterly lost. Calling Giles came to her mind once more, and she chased the idea away. She finally slumped back in her chair again and looked at the slayer in the bed. She sighed and her face showed how much the witch felt defeated.
She remained here for a moment, staring at Faith, seemingly thinking about what to do, but terrified that she would be unable to find something. Somewhere in her head, she recalled how it was to be trapped in her own mind after Glory sucked her brains. She shivered in horror and shook the memory away as soon as it came back to her. She was almost certain that this curse was a different kind of spell. Though Faith's state reminded her of something, she could not put her finger on what it was.
She got up again, paced the room once more, opened the magic book one more time, flicked through the pages, searching for something she would have missed the first times. But the book did not reveal any helping secret this time either.
Tara closed it abruptly and the book slammed on the table. The witch needed to get some fresh air, to clear her mind. She decided to go for a walk and returned to the bed where she picked up her clothes, scattered on the floor where she had left them the night before in her haste to sleep. She headed for the bathroom where she disappeared and remained for the following thirty minutes.
Once showered, dressed and engulfed in her coat, Tara headed for the door of the room, not before having checked on the slayer. Faith was still sleeping, which was a plus, Tara hoping somehow she would find a way to undo Kira's spell before the brunette awoke.
With a last glance to the bed, she resolutely opened the door and left. She went down the stairs quietly, went past the common room of the hostel and went outside. Biting cold and chilly air welcomed her and Tara instinctively turned up the collar of her coat. She put her hands down her winter jacket's pockets and entered Main Street.
She met a few passers-by, walking quickly as to flee from the cold but she didn't pay them any attention. She emptied her head of thoughts of Faith, of Kira, of the urge to find a solution to Faith's mental state. Her lonely random walk through the village made her some good and she started to relax a little as everything left in her mind was just her and the streets covered in snow.
But everything Faith-related rushed back as her top priority when she absent-mindedly caught sight of Mrs. Applefresh's esoteric bookshop. The woman probably was a witch, Tara remembered. And the blonde spotted some real magic related books the first time she had visited the shop. Maybe she would find something useful in there?
She crossed the street and resolutely pushed the bookshop's door. The doorbell softly rang, announcing her entrance. Tara closed the door behind her and walked in the shop, already looking around carefully, as if a book telling her what to do might appear in front of her out of the blue.
She took a look at the counter and noticed it was deserted. Mrs. Applefresh was probably in the storeroom. Tara started to wander among the shelving, occasionally grabbing and leafing through a book. Each time, she was disappointed: the book had nothing to do with real magic despite misleading titles like "Real magic at home" or "Discovering the benefits of magic". Tara sighed as she put back a copy of "Spells for advanced users" and jumped slightly the second after when Mrs. Applefresh's voice welcomed her.
"Good morning my child," the bookshop owner told her in a sweet voice. "Anything I can do for you?"
Tara turned back to the counter where Mrs. Applefresh was now standing and smiling at her. Tara smiled back and headed towards her, internally debating whether or not she should tell her the truth. If her intuition was good and the woman really was a witch herself, she might be able to help her. If not, she would think the blonde was a total freak.
"Well," Tara began hesitantly, not having decided yet what she was about to ask. "I'm searching for a book…" she carefully said. "A book about spells."
Mrs. Applefresh looked at the shelves in Tara's back, where the blonde had just left "Spells for advanced users".
"Do you think about a specific book, or a specific spell, my dear?" the woman asked.
"Hmm, a spell," Tara answered, now resolute to explain everything. "I don't know what spell it is but I know its effects."
Mrs. Applefresh nodded thoughtfully and invited the blonde to go on.
"What effects are we talking about?"
"Well, my friend Faith, you know, the brunette who was with me last time I came?"
As the woman nodded, Tara resumed quickly:
"She's been victim of a spell and since then, she won't answer when I talk to her and she won't react at any external stimulus. It's like her mind is gone."
"I need to find something to undo the spell," she concluded after a brief silence.
The woman in front of her slowly nodded and frowned. She stared piercingly at Tara, as to ponder if she was lying or not. Tara tried to smile but she wasn't sure it would help her to look more convincing. After a few seconds feeling like hours to the blonde witch, Mrs. Applefresh gestured to Tara to follow and she turned back toward the storeroom behind the counter.
Tara crossed the threshold of a narrow door behind the bookseller and found herself in a little room bathed in the sweet light of the morning. Two rows of shelves were standing in the middle of the room and three little tables were aligned against the right wall.
"This is my private collection," Mrs. Applefresh explained. "You won't find anything of use in the shop. But maybe here."
Tara nodded and went to the shelves where she started to examine the books. She smiled lightly when she recognized some of the works she had owned herself when she was living in Sunnydale. This was the real thing. Hope rushed back.
"Th-thank you," she said, turning back to Mrs. Applefresh.
"You should start with the bottom shelf," the woman said. "There're a few books about mind spells. But what you describe is rather vague and I think it'll take some time to find the good spell."
Tara nodded and smiled again.
"May I…" she started.
"Take all the time you need, dear," the bookshop owner answered the unfinished question. "I'll be in the shop if you need me."
With that, she left, leaving Tara alone in the room. The blonde headed to the bottom shelf, as Mrs. Applefresh advised her. She picked up five or six books relative to mind manipulation, even if she was nearly sure she would not find anything interesting in "how magically soothe your mind".
"Goddess," she whispered while looking at this particular book. "Some witches are ready to write anything to get some money…"
Then, she sat at one of the small tables with her pile of books and started her reading. She found at least five different sleep spells and dozens sorts of relaxing ones. In a far less recommended book, she shivered when she read the forgetting spell Willow once used to make her forget their arguments. That spell was among pages of spells of mind control. But none of them resembled what she needed.
She was closing the fourth book when Mrs. Applefresh came in. Tara looked up to her and saw the woman's questioning face.
"Have you found something my dear?" she asked.
Tara shook her head with a defeated look on her face.
"Not really," she answered. "I could try a relaxing spell or something like that but I'm pretty sure it won't be enough."
The bookshop owner nodded her understanding and went to the table where she sat in front of Tara after picking a few books on the shelves. As the blonde looked at her questioningly, the woman explained:
"It's noon, I've closed the shop for two hours. I'm going to help you."
Tara could not quite hide her surprise and started to stammer some thanks.
"Don't," interrupted Mrs. Applefresh. "It's been a long while since the last time I did magic for something useful. I'd be glad to help your friend."
Tara nodded and glanced at the books the woman took with her. Three of them were different volumes of "Healing magical wounds". Mrs. Applefresh handed the other she picked to Tara. That one was simply titled "Dark arts".
"It's a very rare edition," she explained. "There're a lot of frightening spells about terrible things such as resurrection spells or death spells but there's probably a section about mind control spells. Maybe you'll find yours."
Tara considered the given book silently and did not open it until Mrs. Applefresh opened hers.
"I'll take a look in those," she went on, gesturing to her "Healing magical wounds" volumes. "They're more about physical wounds or transformations magically inflicted but maybe I'll find something of use in the mind part."
Tara nodded and smiled weakly. Then, she opened the dark arts book and flipped quickly through the pages; avoiding the three hundred pages about resurrection to finally stop at the mind control section.
She started to read the impressive list of possible ways to control somebody's mind but quickly found out she was distracted by the previous hundreds pages dealing with resurrection. She could not help but glance at the previous half of the book and finally flip discreetly back through the pages without reading them.
She did not see Mrs. Applefresh noticing what she was doing and jumped slightly when she heard the woman:
"Resurrection is a fascinating concept," she said with a kindly smile. "And probably the darkest branch of magic. There's loads of theory about it in that book and some others. But I highly doubt there're a lot of witches or wizards here below who would be able to perform such rituals."
Finishing her sentence, she shivered, probably picturing said-rituals in her head.
"Or be willing to." She added.
Tara stared at her for a few seconds, her hand still absent-mindedly flicking through the book.
"H-how l-long ha-have you be-been prac-practising?" the blonde stammered shyly.
The woman looked up to her and smiled.
"Over forty years I 'd say," she answered. "Since I was born I think,"
"And y-you never heard of some-someone practising a re-resu-resurrection?" she finished in a whisper.
She seemed to think about the question then shook her head.
"No," she replied. "Well," she resumed after a brief waver. "I never heard about someone succeeding I mean. But some people probably tried. But you know, I've always lived here where it's not exactly the center of the magical world."
Tara nodded and looked down to her book as Mrs. Applefresh went on:
"You know, it's not what magic is for. Most of magical beings know that."
"I know," Tara replied firmly this time, looking up to face the other witch.
The woman nodded with a smile and Tara looked down once more. She tried to focus on the spells in front of her but her mind kept going from images of Willow, Xander, Anya and herself gathered in a cemetery on a hidden tombstone by a clear night more than three years ago, to images of herself, weak and lost, lying on a bed in a dark room. Only Mrs. Applefresh's voice made her come back to reality some time later.
"I think I've got something of interest," the woman hesitantly announced.
Tara looked up sharply and every resurrection-related thought vanished as her concern for Faith rushed back.
"There's a spell here, " the woman began. "It's about catatonic state consecutive to a shock but it could apply to your case maybe."
Tara got closer to the bookshop owner to be able to see what she was reading.
"…this kind of catatonic state may be consecutive to a violent emotional shock," Mrs. Applefresh was reading. "The victim's spirit is imprisoned in a loop of memories always coming back to the original point of the shock. Bringing back the victim to his senses means breaking the loop, allowing therefore the victim to come back to reality. The reader will notice that this state can also be the consequence of some dangerous dark magic spells."
Mrs. Applefresh fell silent and looked up at Tara.
"What do you think my dear?"
"It may be it," Tara approved. "But how can I break the spell?"
"You have to penetrate her mind," the woman stated, pushing the book closer to Tara.
The blonde read again the passage Mrs. Applefresh just told her and realization suddenly hit her.
"I remember!" she exclaimed. "Willow told me she did that spell to Buffy when Glory…"
She fell silent when she noticed Mrs. Applefresh's curious expression.
"You know someone who already performed that spell?" she asked.
As Tara nodded, the older witch added:
"It's not a very common spell,"
"Willow was not exactly common," Tara commented, not knowing where the comment came from.
"It's not a very much complicated spell either as it doesn't need rare ingredients," went on Mrs Applefresh, taking the book back. "I think I've got everything you will need in my personal reserve. But you've got to know it's a dangerous spell. For both of you."
"I know that." Tara answered. "But I'm going to do it."
Mrs. Applefresh stared at Tara silently for a few seconds, and then just nodded her understanding. She stood up and headed quickly for the door.
"I'm going to pick all the ingredients. I'll be right back."
Tara nodded and read the spell again and again until the woman came back with a few little bags in her right hand.
"Here they are," she announced.
She handed Tara the bags as the blonde witch was standing.
"Take the book with you," the woman offered. "You're at the Triullium lake hostel?" she asked. "When will you perform the spell?"
"As soon as I'm back," Tara answered immediately.
"Right. I'll come to check on you at the end of the afternoon," Mrs. Applefresh announced.
"Thanks," Tara replied gratefully, smiling softly at the other witch. "Thank you very much."
"It's nothing my dear," assured the older woman.
Tara gathered the bags and the book and headed for the door where the bookshop owner walked her.
"Good luck," she said as Tara waved her goodbye. "Be very careful."