Chapter Sixteen: Twisted

To Agent Slicer.

I must congratulate you on single handedly destroying the Raticate-Syndicate. That's one less organization that the world needs to worry about. However, I question your handling of the situation. From what I have gathered, Raticate was much weaker than you were, and could have been apprehended easily. Therefore it was not necessary to kill him.

You will be punished upon returning to our headquarters for using poor judgment.

However, I have two objectives for you before you return. First objective: I have sources that have stated that a large metallic object has arrived to the east of Destiny City. Investigate it, and confirm whether or not it is the STAG Beetle, as my sources claim.

Your secondary mission will be more suitable for you, since you appear to enjoy destruction. As it is, I have direct confirmation that for whatever reason, Mewthree has not returned to Giovanni. Instead she is wandering around in an area somewhere west of Titan City. If possible, I would like to keep her alive, but if she proves to be that much of a threat, you have my permission to slay her. Otherwise, capture is a necessity.

Do not disobey me again.

-Your boss

IT WUZ A NORMAL DAY AT TAJIRI HIGH

"YOU!"

"YOU!"

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!

Malispite and Darkrai punched each other in the face so hard it somehow created an explosion.

"WHY THE HELL DO YOU GUYS KEEP DOIUNG THAT!" Exasperated Mercifond. Darkrai and Malispite stared at her.

"We hate each other." Said Darkrai.

"Therefore instead of saying 'hello' to each other, we must punch each other in the face." Malispite said logically. Mercifond began to tear her sand colored hair out trying to understand how the crap any of that made sense. Gardevoir and Cresselia just watched how everything would unfold as the white bat scolded the both of them.

"Oh, Cresselia!" Gardevoir noticed. "You're back!"

"Yes. I have decided to be in this chapter, unlike last time."

DAMN.

"OH SHUT UP YOU STUPID NARRATOR!" The lunar swan cursed the voice. She regained her composure and asked what had happened last chapter while she was away. While Gardevoir told her side of the story, Malispite and Darkrai began arguing about something useless, and then proceeded to beat each other up. Mercifond simply gave up.

"I can't control them…" She whined.

"BUT I CAN!"

Suddenly, leaping from the ceiling was Gallade! With a moustache!

"My love for Gardevoir shall give me the strength to quell the fighting!"

"BUT WHY DO YOU HAVE A MOUSTACHE?" Everyone yelled. Gallade did not seem to hear t

"I agree, they're serving pineapple juice too!" Said a gardevoir beside them.

Everyone paused.

hem. He launched himself into the war zone cloud, and tried to fight Malispite and Darkrai.

"…why do men always feel the need to fight…?" Mercifond questioned.

"It's their thing." Was Gardevoir's answer.

"But seriously. We have to stop them. They are dangerously close to the cafeteria… and they're serving rice balls today with extra honey! We can't let them damage the food!"For some strange reason, next to them was a Blancodanzar (gardevoir in human language), except this particular one had blue hair and skin in contrast to the normal green. Also, this one had a very large red flower in her hair.

"Hi, I'm Ruby!" She introduced herself, extending her hand eagerly. Cresselia paused, then shook it.

"Um, thank you. I am Cresselia, the most beautiful and intelligent Pokemon alive." Cresselia introduced herself as well.

PFFT.

"I HEARD THAT!" Cresselia yelled at the narrator. The new Gardevoir stared at the ceiling, wondering where the narrator was. She soon spied Gardevoir.

"Cousin!" She said, as if she hadn't seen Gardevoir in a long time. "How's it been cousin!"

"Um…" Gardevoir was a bit confused, she had never seen this Pokemon in her life before. "It's been… good?"

"Hold that thought cousin!" Ruby halted her. "I have to stop them from destroying the Pineapple Juice!"

With a leap, she gathered her power and aimed it straight at the threesome still too busy fighting to notice.

"FIRE BLAST!" A large Psychic was launched from her hands and it hit the three hard enough to separate them.

"But that was Psychic!" The three girls said, utterly baffled. Ruby noticed this.

"It was definitely a Fire Blast." Ruby explained to them. "The truth is… I'm a Fire type!"

Everyone scratched their heads…

"Ruby! There you are!" The three girls turned to see a newcomer- A Sudowoodo. But this Sudowoodo seemed strange, Cresselia noticed. For instance, instead of having a single face, it had two faces. One looked normal, while the other strangely resembled a human face. Also, it was walking without moving its legs, and there was a strange tag attached to its body which read: SUDOWOODO COSTUME on it.

"Hey! It's a Sudowoodo!" Ruby pointed out happily. The Sudowoodo looked a bit angry.

"Ruby, you have to come with me! You're attracting attention!"

"Why? I've never met a Sudowoodo before in my life. How do I know you're not going to stuff jello down my throat?"

"BECAUSE IT'S ME." The Sudowoodo said in a harsh whisper, sweating immensely and red in the face.

"Well of course it's you!" Ruby did not understand. The Sudowoodo slapper itself, using an arm strangely resembling a human one. This was getting nowhere… And the three other Pokemon were staring at them.

"Look, just Uh… just meet Kairi at the location she was at last!" The Sudowoodo said.

"Oh okay!" Said Ruby. The Sudowoodo then turned to Cresselia Mercifond and Gardevoir, all three intently watching.

"By the way I am not secretly a human in disguise!" The Sudowoodo yelled.

They paused.

"We completely believe you." Responded the three girls. The Sudowoodo breathed a sigh of relief, then began to walk away without moving its legs. Soon, the two were gone, and the girls breathed a sigh of relief that Ruby was able to stop the boys from rampaging.

"What a strange pair though…" Cresselia said.

"Well, at least the food's-

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!

Darkrai and Malispite were at it again, this time using actual Moves instead of normal punches and kicks. A Thunderpunch there, a Dark Pulse over there, they kept going at it, and it seemed like no one could stop them! Yelling insults at each other, cursing their very names, all while unleashing their respective destructive powers unto each other.

"STOP!" Screamed Gliscor at the top of his lungs.

Malispite and Darkrai: "Okay."

"YOU MEAN THAT'S ALL IT TOOK?" The girls yelled in confusion. Gliscor, from his silver trashcan, reached down inside it.

"I have a new idea! One that will make me millions!"

"That will inevitably backfire…" Murmured Mercifond. Gliscor heard her, but grinned in response, like he knew something she didn't.

"Nope! This one is fool-proof!" He held up what appeared to be a modified computer printer. "Behold-THE MONEY PRINTER!"

"What!" Everyone yelled. In amazement, they watched as Gliscor pushed a few buttons, and suddenly ten-thousand Pok'e bills were being printed right out of the machine! Within mere seconds, Gliscor had made over a hundred thousand Pok'e!

"It's amazing!" Malispite said, completely forgetting about being mad at Darkrai.

"I know!" Said Gliscor. "Think of how much money I could make!"

"…wait…" Said a soft voice. It belonged to Gardevoir, remembering something. "…isn't printing money illegal?"

Gliscor paused.

"Uh… um… oh crap it is illegal…"

"AHA! A CONFESSION!"

To everyone's surprised, the school's disciplinary squad, AKA Lucario, jumped off the ceiling and landed on the ground next to Gliscor, creating a shockwave upon impact.

"You have broken the rules!" Said Lucario, jabbing a finger in Gliscor's direction. "I'm turning you in!"

"I thought we got rid of him in Balance of Power!" Said Malispite.

"No. I'm here to stay!" Lucario replied. He charged up and Aura Sphere, pointed at the nervous Gliscor. "Now come quietly or else!"

"NEVER!"

Dramatically, Gliscor dove inside the trashcan just as Lucario fired his Aura Sphere. The ball of energy made contact and toppled the trashcan to its side, but the purple colored bat was nowhere to be found…

"Grr… He got away…" Lucario flashed his pointed teeth in annoyance. "I shall find him and bring that criminal to JUSTICE!"

Lucario ran away using Extremespeed, off to another location to find Gliscor. The rest of the Pokémon stared. Their friend had just become a fugitive.

AGAIN.

"I guess we'd better rescue Gliscor then…" Cresselia rolled her eyes. "I shall lead this because I am smart and beautiful."

"Right…" Said Darkrai, disbelieving. "I actually have to train with Master Dunsparce now that school's over. You guys take care of it." Before there was any room to argue, Darkrai vanished into a Dark Void wormhole.

"I guess it's just us five then…" Said Mercifond, including Gallade who would probably join them anyway. Gardevoir was going after all.

"OH NO YOU DON'T DARKRAI! I WON'T LET YOU BECOME STRONGER THAN ME!" Malispite charged headfirst into a brick wall and smashed it. From there he ran at full speed to the dojo.

"…make that four…" Said Gardevoir. "Anyway Cresselia, I think there's something you should know."

"Yes?" Asked the lunar swan, hovering in the air.

"Well… I don't think we can rescue Gliscor unless we use the move Rock Throw…" Gardevoir pointed out.

"What?" Said Mercifond, totally lost.

"Yes… you make a good point…" Cresselia considered it. "Yes… we will need a Pokémon that can use Rock Throw in order to save Gliscor."

"What does Rock Throw have to do with anything!" Mercifond was unable to comprehend it all. Regardless, it was decided by Cresselia that they needed to use Rock Throw. Unfortunately, none of them could use it, thus hindering their chance of saving Gliscor from life as a fugitive.

However, Cresselia remembered something. They had met a Sudowoodo earlier that day, and she remembered that THEY could learn Rock Throw. They could convince the Sudowoodo to join up with them, and then saving Gliscor would be easy!

"Gardevoir- lock onto that Ruby girl! We'll find that Sudowoodo that can use Rock Throw!"

…OKAY SERIOUSLY, HOW COULD ROCK THROW SAVE GLISCOR?

She channeled her energy into the stasis chamber. She had been doing it for the past thirty six hours, exhausting her resources again and again. But it was no trouble at all to her. The faster Mewtwo got healed, the better. She needed to talk to him, to hear his voice… to tell her about his crazy plans for world domination. Anything.

Just to be sure he was okay.

"I WILL KILL ANYONE WHO GETS IN MY WAY!"

Just to be sure he really was okay…

Deoxys heaved; she was expending tremendous amounts of her energy to speed up the healing process. It wasn't easy at all. Mewtwo had more broken bones than anyone had seen after his fight with Helix. He expended all of his energy, and all of his body's natural resources. He was more of a wreck than anyone had seen before.

Deoxys had seen the pain on Darkrai's face when he realized what had happened. She felt it just as much as he did. She admitted it- she loved Mewtwo. It wasn't a crush, she really loved him. She wanted to be with him for the rest of her life.

Which is why she would do anything to get him healed.

"Deoxys, you should take a rest."

She didn't even notice that Arceus had entered the room. Her head swung around, and saw the elegant white and gray figure of the god of all Pokémon.

"No…" She breathed heavily, then turned back to Mewtwo. "Just a bit more… then I can rest…"

"No, you need rest now." Arceus said. "I'm the god of all Pokémon, remember? I think I'd know when your body is struggling to stay conscious."

Gently, she levitated Deoxys away from Mewtwo, just a couple feet and laid her on the wall. Deoxys didn't even have the energy to resist. Arceus then closed her eyes, and a green light enveloped Deoxys, slowly restoring her strength.

"Just stay calm young one… Mewtwo is fine. He will be healed, and he will wake." Arceus smiled without a mouth.

"How do you know…?" Questioned Deoxys. Arceus had no answer. So she didn't respond.

She really didn't know if Mewtwo would be fine once he awoke. There were too many unknown factors to tell. Such as…

Absolix's influence on his mind.

"Arceus. Do you have a moment?" Asked Deoxys, feeling a bit better. Arceus again remained silent. She already knew what Deoxys would ask.

"Why does my mother hate you so much…?"

Yes. Arceus saw that coming, even without her mind reading powers. Helix, one of the few class Five legendaries in existence, and Deoxy's mother. Why indeed did she hate Arceus?

"Deoxys." Arceus was serious. "…you've probably realized this by now, but I have many, many secrets. They are secrets for various reasons. I know things that would make your world turn upside down. I know things that would cause mass panic and chaos just by uttering them. I know things that are so forbidden that I am the only one who knows them. And they must be kept that way, or this world shall fall into disorder."

There was a moment's pause as Deoxys took all of this in. She looked up from her sitting position, and saw Arceus' all knowing green eyes glancing down at her.

"I can tell you why she hates me. But I will warn you first- you will hate me too if you know. You might even hate Darkrai and Cresselia just because they are related to me.

Do you truly wish to know?"

Deoxys absorbed the information, wide eyed with both curiosity and fear. She nodded her head. She wanted to know. Arceus nodded her head once, then gazed off into nothing, as if remembering something a long time ago.

"Ribos and Earth have never really been on good terms with each other." She began. "It's been that way for a very long time. Still is. In fact, it got worse actually."

Arceus paused again.

"One day, when I was a little girl, they sent a young delegate from Ribos to observe us and gain intelligence on Earth.

That was your mother, Deoxys.

We knew that we were supposed to hate each other, but we actually got along quite nicely. She became more powerful, as well as I, we became known as somewhat of as an undefeatable pair before my days as God." Arceus paused again, staring off into space.

"Soon, it was time. My father died, and I was to succeed him, as was the tradition for many millennia. I did so, and then did something no other God had done before. I offered your mother to join the legendary Council."

Deoxys was wide eyed. From what she remembered about her mother, Supreme queen Helix, she had never once mentioned this before.

"She accepted. Naturally, the only one who wasn't shocked was myself.

We worked together, she especially, to try and bring the worlds together. We had even set up a teleportation system designed for interstellar travel. It was at this time it seemed as though peace was finally possible."

Deoxys sense something was coming. She saw Arceus's eyes grow weary and sad. She saw the way the god of all Pokémon looked at her.

"And then something happened that changed all of that. And this is what happened.

I committed mass slaughter of Helix's people."

Deoxys blinked. She blinked again.

"What…?" Her eyes were even wider now.

"Just an instant… in a single instant, a billion lives were reduced to not even ashes…" Arceus smiled wearily. "Just an instant…"

"What!" Deoxys was on high sense now. What Arceus was saying was impossible. She wouldn't do that. She just wouldn't do that. "You…! this isn't a funny joke…!" Deoxys was standing upright now.

Arceus just looked at her.

She wasn't lying.

"It…it was an accident right…!" Deoxys was trembling.

"You think the destruction of a billion innocent lives was an accident?" Arceus repeated. "No. I did it all on purpose."

Deoxys was shaking. How… how was it possible… that a woman so kind as her… to have the title of 'God'…! How could she have possibly…

"And here's the best part." Arceus laughed grimly. "I can't tell either you or your mother why I did it."

"What… what reason could you possibly…" She was shaking. Anger? Fear? Sadness? Who knew what emotions were in her sweat.

"…They think it's easy to be me." Arceus said quietly. "The Pokémon and humans, I mean. They think all I have to do is sit in my Hall, ordering lesser Pokémon around for my own amusement." She looked up into the Hall, gazing into its infinity.

"They have no idea what it's like to be me. They have absolutely…" She trailed off. For the first time, Deoxys saw past her anger and gazed upon Arceus's face. A single tear dripped down her white coat.

"I lost my best friend that day."Deoxys understood something that her mother did not.

She was sorry.

"Do you hate me now, Deoxys…?" Arceus asked the alien on the planet. Deoxys did not have an answer. So she did not respond. After a minute, Arceus finally turned around.

"…I see." Was all the god of all Pokemon said. "It might be too much to ask of me, but please, if you hate me, don't hate Mewtwo. Or Darkrai…" She added, knowing full well what her children had endured. With that, Arceus Teleported out of the room.

Deoxys was left alone with Mewtwo once more. But this time, she had something to think about.

Why?

"It's about time you got here…" Said the Sudowoodo to Ruby the Gardevoir. Ruby was nonetheless confused, even though she was a bit late. Why on earth would a Sudowoodo be mad at her though? The tree like Pokemon stared for a bit, then resumed speaking.

"I suppose I can take off my disguise here…" She said after looking around. As Ruby watched, the Sudowoodo began to shift in a strange way. Suddenly, a zipper was unlocked, and the Sudowoodo costume was taken off to reveal a female human.

"Kairi!" Said Ruby, shocked. Indeed it was her human companion and partner.

Kairi was a female human, sixteen years old but almost seventeen. She had blonde/brown hair that fell to her shoulder, with the crown of her head covered by a sandy colored cap. She wore a white shirt that revealed a bit of her midsection with a red vest over it. Both were sleeveless, though she wore fingerless gloves at the end of her hands. Black jean shorts covered her bottom while strapped to her waist was her signature ranger styler. She was, after all, an official Pokemon Ranger.

"Whoa, how did you do that!" Asked Ruby eagerly.

"It's a costume!" Kairi exasperated. "See! I fit right inside!"

"…I DIDN'T KNOW HUMANS COULD LEARN TRANSFORM." Ruby said in awe, thinking it to be the most logical explanation. Kairi stared. Were disguises really THAT effective against Pokémon?

"Never mind the Sudowoodo thing… Ruby, what did you gather!"

"Not much actually…" Ruby admitted. I didn't have a lot of time during the school day, I had to blend in with the classes you know." The Blancodanzar added.

"Hm…" Kairi rubbed brought her fist to her chin, thinking. "We may have to change strategy then…"

"Are you sure he's even here?" Ruby asked.

"He HAS to be." Kairi asserted. "We saw him head south after he was in Divinity City. Between here and there, there's a huge desert. And Destiny City is the closest population south of Divinity. He'll need to stock up on supplies after what we did to his storage…"

"Oh yeah, that was fun!" Ruby clapped her hands.

"…which means this city is his only option. He HAS to be here. Somewhere…" the girl paused, thinking. Ruby too, thought about that man and Kairi. She began to think if it really was possible to capture that man…

"Hey! Sudowoodo!" A voice yelled. Kairi turned around in fear, it was the Pokémon from before. Ruby began to sweat. Very quickly, so that her partner wouldn't be discovered, she used psychic power to stuff her inside of the Costume again. Kairi managed to stand back up before Cresselia and the others got there.

"Uh, um, yes?" Kairi asked, trying to look like a tree as much as possible.

"We need your help. Gliscor has become a fugitive and Lucario plans on doing something evil to him and so we need Rock Throw to save them." Cresselia explained.

Ruby and Kairi paused.

"…could you repeat that in a way that makes more sense…?" said the Sudowoodo.

"No time! We need to move NOW!" Gallade took them both by the hand, and began running to a probable direction of where their purple bat friend was. Kairi and Ruby had no choice but to be dragged along. Kairi sweat dropped, this completely ruined her schedule!

"YEAH! LET'S GO KICK LUCARIO'S ASS!" Ruby yelled happily.

Ruby didn't seem to mind…

"So we have a deal then?" Lucario questioned. He was in a dark room, shrouded. Three other figures were invisible by the darkness from the room.

"Um, question?" A young female voice asked. "Why are we in a room this dark!"

"Because it's dramatic." Answered the blue Jackal. "Now do we have a deal or not? I have to catch the criminal you know, so don't waste my time…"

Whispering. The three talked amongst themselves.

"Let's see the collateral first. How do we know you actually have it?" Another female voice demanded. Lucario rolled his eyes in annoyance. He was wasting time. Nonetheless, he reached inside his ear and pulled out an Enigma Berry. A very rare species of berry indeed.

"HE REALLY (BZZT!) DOES HAVE IT." Said a high pitched electrical voice.

"It's a deal then." Said the female voice from before. "Team Starlight will assist you in catching this criminal!"

OH SNAP

"Everyone think now…" Cresselia said. She paced back and forth, staring into nothingness. "If I were a wanted fugitive, where would I be…?"

"Gardevoir's house!" Gallade answered immediately. Cresselia begged to differ.

"No, that would be where YOU would go Gallade. We need to figure out places GLISCOR might go. And by the way…

Why do you still have that moustache on!"

Gallade paused.

"Because I read in a human magazine that women love facial hair…" Gallade confessed his attempt to win Gardevoir's heart.

"…Gallade…" Gardevoir spoke softly. "We're Pokemon. Your face is already covered in white fur, remember?"

"HEY! THAT'S RIGHT!"

"...Why are we here again?" The Sudowoodo asked, Ruby the Gardevoir right beside her.

"Because we need you to use Rock Throw when the time is right!" Cresselia snapped, as if it were obvious.

"Also because it's fun!" Ruby smiled. Kairi sighed. Her partner was really getting into this… But they were wasting time! She and Ruby needed to figure out of he was really here or not like the reports said! And it was only a matter of time until-

"What about the Secret Agent's base?" Mercifond suggested. Cresselia nodded her head in a 'no'. Gliscor was a wanted fugitive; going to the Secret Agent's base would practically be turning himself in. Besides, the teleporter was gone. The lunar swan had checked earlier, it had vanished.

No, they needed a place Gliscor would head to if he didn't want to be found… somewhere no one would go, even if their lives depended on it…

"The Museum!" Gardevoir, Mercifond and Gallade said at the same time.

"Museum?" Questioned the Sudowoodo. "I thought Museums were fun!"

"Not this one!" Cresselia smiled. "Unfortunately, while Destiny City is known for it's many exotic things to do, it's also home to the most boring Museum ever."

"What's so boring about it?" Ruby raised her hand, eager to have her question answered.

"It has only one attraction: A sock worn by Arceus five hundred years ago!" Gallade replied, still having his moustache on. "It now has grown very moldy!"

"EW!" Ruby pinched her nose.

"Bingo!" Said Gallade.

"And that is why Gliscor has probably headed there." Mercifond said logically. With the command by Cresselia, they raced off to the Sock Museum. Fortunately it was only five minutes away from Tajiri high. They arrived and walked inside, immediately greeted by a horrid stench.

"The sock!" Gallade immediately recognized the smell even through his moustache. Regardless, Gliscor was probably in here, so they held their breaths and walked to through the glass doors. Inside, the museum was very abandoned and empty. For some reason it was sparkling clean, looking brand new. In fact the only part that didn't look new and clean was a filthy sock in a glass case with gunk all over the sides, even on the outside.

Whoever cleaned the place obviously couldn't figure out how to clean the glass with his or her life intact.

"Urg… Safegaurd…" Gardevoir performed the move, and a veil of semi white light formed around her in a large area. The other Pokemon sighed in relief- they could breathe freely again.

"Wow, thanks cousin!" Ruby smiled. "I wish I knew that Move…"

"And there it is." Said Cresselia. "My mother's old sock from five hundred years ago…"

"Without that case to contain the smell, we'd probably be dead by now." Mercifond added.

"Wait…" Said the Sudowoodo. "You said… Arceus is your mother?"

"Oh. Yes." Cresselia replied. "Did I forget to mention that?"

Kairi stared in awe, as well as Ruby. They had detected some serious power from these guys, and now they found the reason why. But it wasn't just Cresselia, it was all of them. Including that strange white bat that Kairi had never seen before. Maybe her species were an undiscovered one…?

"Let's look in the hallways." Cresselia suggested. They followed her, with Gardevoir's Safeguard shield safely within radius. Ruby began poking Gallade's moustache playfully, Gallade himself beaming that a girl had taken notice of his facial hair. Kairi rolled her eyes at her partner, and decided she might as well look for this 'Gliscor' to hurry this up. She looked around. Cresselia was right- nothing was in here other than the sock. The hallways were empty, and just looped around back to the sock. In fact the only other thing in here was a shiny silver trashcan.

…

"Wait… hey guys, what about that!" The Sudowoodo pointed at the trashcan, that moved slightly at the sound of its name being mentioned. Cresselia smiled.

"Good work Sudowoodo." She zoomed over to the trashcan. She lifted the lid psychically and peered inside. "Glsicor, are you in there? It's just us…"

A figure leaped out of the trashcan. But it wasn't Gliscor- it was a Gallade with a very dark green coating with glasses on. This wasn't Gliscor, it was instead-

"Father!" Gallade remarked. "What are you doing here!"

"Oh hi son!" Gallade's father waved. He adjusted his glasses. "What are you all doing here? And what's with that moustache?" He eyed his son.

"Looking for our friend who has turned into a fugitive from the law. And I'm trying to attract Gardevoir with facial hair." Gallade answered. "But what are you doing here?"

"I caught the scent of a human!" Gallade's father exclaimed excitably. Gallade's father and mother were both professional Human Behavioralists. That meant that they travelled around and observed and conducted behavior experiments on humans, in order to examine the psychological aspect of the human mind. Destiny City had a population of 99% Pokémon, so it was only natural Gallade's father would get excited about a new human to study.

"Have you seen a human?" questioned his father. "Any of you?"

"Nope." Mercifond and Gardevoir shrugged.

"No humans as I've seen." Cresselia shook her head. Gallade too shook his head. Gallade's father turned to the Sudowoodo.

"Uh… no humans here! Right Ruby?"

"Wait, but Kairi aren't you- OH! NOPE, NO HUMANS HERE MISTER. ESPECIALLY NOT ONES DRESSED LIKE SUDOWOODO. OR ONES FROM THE RANGER UNION NOPE."

Gallade's father paused.

"Curses!" He cursed. "Well… maybe I can help you. Who did you say you're looking for again?"

"Gliscor." Mercifond spoke up. Gallade's father put his hands together.

"Ah, Gliscor! He's actually in the trashcan too."

"SERIOUSLY?"

"Yep." Gallade's father bent down and yelled in the trashcan. "Gliscor! It's your friends! They want to see you!"

In no time at all, the purple bat stuck his head out of the trashcan.

"Hey you guys. What's up?"

"OKAY HOW ON EARTH COULD BOTH OF YOU BE IN THAT TRASHCAN AT ONCE?" Mercifond questioned the idiocy of this story.

"Because I have a really long tail." Was Gliscor's answer. Mercifond gaped at the idiocy and sheer madness of it all…

"Well, I have to go find that human now. Keep your eyes peeled for me!" Gallade's father ran out of the museum, pinching his nose when he entered the cheese room. Cresselia meanwhile spoke to Gliscor about how they were going to save him from running from the law forever.

"Actually Cresselia, I don't think I DID break the law." Gliscor suddenly said in the middle of her sentence. "I looked up some rules, and I didn't see anything on there about-

"FOUND YOU!" A large aura Sphere crashed into Gliscor and Cresselia. The blue ball made a shockwave upon impact and created a miniature crater. The lunar swan and the purple bat lay in the center. Lucario of course, had arrived. As he quickly explained, Lucario used his aura powers to closely follow Cresselia's group, knowing that they would lead him to Gliscor.

"You no good lawbreakers will be punished!" Swore Lucario, his fist clenched in the air.

"You and what army?" Gallade retorted.

"Funny you should ask…" Lucario smirked, snapping his fingers. From the ceiling hole that he made, three figures leaped down on the ground next to the blue jackal.

"Kirlia!"

"Combee!"

"MAGNEMITE (BEEP!)."

"Together we are… TEAM STARLIGHT! Oh hi sister!" greeted Kirlia. Gardevoir gaped, and demanded to know what was happening.

"Lucario is paying us an Enigma Berry to capture Gliscor. Sorry sis!" Kirlia launched a Shadow Ball at her elder sister, who blocked it quickly with Light Screen. Lucario leapt in the air, landed on the ground, and rushed at Gliscor with Extremespeed. Gliscor did not know what to do, and blindly used Strength. Lucario stepped back after nearly being hit and revised his tactics by performing Aura sphere.

However Gardevoir defended Gliscor by using Light Screen to dissipate the Aura Sphere. The blue Jackal gritted his teeth, then charged with Metal Claw. Gallade, not wishing anyone to bring harm to his beloved, used Leaf Blade on Lucario's Metal Claw. The two Moves collided, and both were sent flying back as a result. Magnemite performed Charge Beam, which Gardevoir again dissipated with Light Screen.

"Tch. Meddling lawbreakers!" Lucaruio cursed at them. He reached into his ear and pulled out a Salac Berry. Once eating it, he increased in speed and tackled Gallade to the ground with Force Palm. Ruby saw this, and instinctively reacted by using her own Moves.

"Fire Blast!" Lucario, expecting a Fire Blast, dodged, but the Psychic that was instead launched hit him anyway.

"THAT WASN'T FIRE BLAST!" He yelled.

"FLAMETHROWER!" Shadow Balls were fired from Ruby's open palms, leaving everyone in the room confused. Lucario dodged while scratching his head, then used Aura Sphere on Ruby. Gardevoir stepped in with Protect, and reflected the Aura Sphere back at Lucario.

"Thank couz'!" Ruby smiled. "Now for my most powerful Move…BLAST BURN!"

Instead of launching one of the most powerful fire attacks known to Pokémon, Ruby fired a massive Focus Blast at Lucario. Lucario had already deflected the Aura Sphere, but was hit by the enormity of the Move. It exploded upon impact, sending shockwaves in every direction. Ruby fell to her knees- using Blast Burn depleted the users energy, and they had to rest on the next turn.

"THAT WASN'T BLAST BURN!" everyone insisted. Cresselia got up and shook the dust off of her.

"Enough nonsense! Sudowoodo, use Rock Throw to save Gliscor once and for all!"

Kairi stared at the lunar swan.

"UH…"

Lucario suddenly appeared from out of nowhere and Force Palmed Kairi, believing her to be a Pokémon. Naturally she was sent flying into a wall.

"Double Team you fools!"Smiled Lucario, who had used his own mirror image to dodge the deadly attack. "Now Team Starlight! Use the special move!"

"Oh no!" Gardevoir shook in fear. "They can't be using… THAT Move…!"

"What! What is it!" Gallade and Cresselia demanded. But they soon found out. A clunk from a blue radio got their attention. Kirlia turned it on, to track number nine. Track number nine contained the most deadly work of music on the face of the planet…

CHUCK NORRIS.

Kirlia: "Even worse than Chuck Norris!"

"Do, do doo...

Yeah-eah-eah, yeah

Så kom och

Dansa med oss

Klappa era händer

Gör so vi gör

Tå några steg at vänster

Lyssna och lar

Missa inte chansen

Nu ar vi har med

Caramelldansen !"

"THE CARAMELDANSEEN! OH NOES!" The Pokémon screamed in fear. Lucario laughed evilly, he wearing earplugs and thus not affected by it. He watched as the no good lawbreakers had their energy sapped by the most annoying song in the universe while Kirlia Combee and Magnemite performed the movements.

"THIS WOULD (BEEP!) BE A LOT EASIER IF I HAD A BODY…" Magnemite said, simply waving his magnets up and down.

"My energy is being depleted…!" Gallade fell on the ground, even his moustache falling off his face.

"My depleted energy is being depleted…!" Ruby fell on the ground next to Gallade. Gardevoir struggled to maintain focus. If she didn't, the Safeguard would be undone and the stinky sock's stench would fill the air! But it seemed hopeless- even Cresselia succumbed to the songs power. It seemed as though there was no hope for them and Lucario would win…!

"THAT DOES IT! HOW DARE YOU SMACK ME ASIDE LIKE THAT!"

The voice priced the air, and everyone slowly turned to see the Sudowoodo getting up. But suddenly there was a giant ripping sound, and the costume came undone, revealing… a human! This human was female with brown hair, and wore actual clothes like humans did!

"What!" Lucario was taken aback.

"Take this- RANGER STYLER!" A blue and white Ranger Styler was launched from the human's launcher. It zipped past Lucario and aimed itself at the three members of Team Starlight. They tried to dance away from the Styler, but it was too fast! The Styler lopped around the team, sapping energy from them, while making Kairi's thought and feelings come across. Around and around it twirled- Kirlia launched a Shadow Ball attack, but the Styler dodged all of their Moved. Finally, a white glow shone in the form of a sphere around Team Starlight. It disappeared, and Kirlia turned off the radio.

"This fight is pointless. I don't want to see my sister in pain." Kirlia said to Lucario. "We're leaving, you can capture Gliscor on your own."

Lucario gasped and gaped. They had a change of heart just like THAT? He narrowed his eyes.

"Impressive… human…" He spoke through his aura so that he could be understood. Lucario charged up a massive Aura Sphere- intending to finish off the ranger once and for all.

"Gallade…" Cresselia gasped. "Use Rock Throw..!" She tossed Gallade a rock.

"But, I can't learn that Move!" Protested Gallade.

"Well how hard can it be to throw a rock anyway!" Cresselia retorted.

Gallade paused.

"YOR RIGHT!" He stood up valiantly.

GALLADE LEARNED ROCK THROW!

Gallade threw the rock as hard as he could at Lucario. Lucario dodged by moving his head.

"Nice aim." He smirked.

"Wasn't aiming for you." Gallade smiled back. Lucario's sense went on high as he saw that the rock was on a collision course with the glass case of the 500 year old sock!

"NOOOO!" Screamed Lucario. The rock broke the barrier.

BOOOOOOOOOOOSSSHHHHH!

The second the rock broke the glass barrier, the stench of the smelly 500 year old sock filled the air, and created a giant stink explosion somehow. The fumes grew upward in a giant mushroom cloud over the museum, its horrid stench filling the air around the museum. Pokémon covered their noses and ran away as fast as they could in order to survive.

While in the museum itself, everyone was fine. Gardevoir had strengthened the Safeguard barrier to cover everyone. Except of course, Lucario.

"Can't… breathe…" Gasped the blue jackal on the floor.

"Serves you right!" Cresselia scolded. "Now come Gliscor, let's take you to another location…"But Lucario's anger got the best of him, and he was able to ignore the stench for three seconds, allowing him to enter the Safeguard and choke Gliscor with his paws. Gliscor dropped his moneymaking machine on the ground, which Lucario picked up while the other gasped in horror.

"Justice will be served!" Swore Lucario. "I'm turning Gliscor in, and giving the police PROOF that Gliscor has illegally printed money!"

He held up the bills to prove his point. Cresselia began to sweat with anger. Now, not even Rock Throw could save Gliscor from the law.

…

…wait…

"Hey… do those bills look funny to you guys…?" Mercifond whispered to the group. Lucario heard anyway, and examined the money.

It had Gliscor's head on the front of it.

"…THESE ARE FAKE!" Lucario said, surprised to the utmost extreme.

THAT'S RIGHT! FOR ONLY FIFTEEN EASY PAYMENTS OF SIXTY NINE SEVENTY NINE, YOU TOO CAN OWN GLISCORS BILLS WHICH AREN'T WORTH ANYTHING! DON'T DELAY BUY TODAY!

"…what was that…?" Asked Kairi.

"Advertisement!" Gliscor grinned. "But anyway, that's what I've been trying to tell you guys! I couldn't find a law saying you can't print fake money."

Lucario stared.

Cresselia stared.

Gallade, Ruby and Gardevoir stared.

Mercifond and Kairi stared.

Mew stared. Then flew into a wall.

"YOU MEAN THIS WHOLE THING WAS FOR NOTHING?"

"Pretty much…" Gliscor admitted nervously. "I never broke the law at all I guess…"

Lucario immediately dropped Gliscor, then walked away, too confused and disappointed to smell the sock's stench. There was a moment's pause before the rest decided to exit the building as well, protected by Gardevoir's Safeguard. After a brief walk, they all turned to the human walking with them.

"So you were a human this entire time…" Mused Mercifond.

"Yeah… can I ask you guys to please not tell anyone I'm here…?" Kairi pleaded. "If the Ranger Union found out I was here and not in Oblivia, they'd be mad at me and things… would get complicated." She explained.

"Meh, we've done that before to an alien, we can do it again." Gliscor waved his giant claw.

"…AN ALIEN!" Gasped Kairi.

"COOL!" Shouted Ruby. "LET ME MEET HIM!"

"…Umbreon…"

"I have chosen…

My host…"