This is continuing straight from my last chapter. I was going to have it all in one big long chapter, but then realised that it was getting insanely long and decided to do two chapters instead.
To link all the chapters together, I am going to put the same name for each inter-linking chapters on all four stories.
So yeah - part two of the intro. Crazy Horse Nae, Liv Marques, Thesamemistakes and criminalmindcrazy123 - thank you so much for the follows! I apologise for it being so long. I've been away for weeks!
Unfortunately, me and Sam did not find Bucky fast at all. Sam spent the rest of the day talking to me while I recovered, which I found quite interesting. He filled me in about his past and all of his other crazy, wild adventures. While the government was deciding whether to disband us our not, Sam and I went out searching for Bucky. I would've wanted more team members, like Maria or Natasha to join, but they were busy with other things. Maria now had a job at Stark Industries and Natasha...well...who ever knew what that spy was doing. Although, I had seen her in the news a lot telling the government to leave her alone. She could show up anyone.
After a month and a half, Natasha called to tell us that the government trials were over and that we weren't being charged. Me and Sam joined the Avengers for a while, Sam acting as my partner, but I could tell that Sam didn't enjoy being there. He decided to go back to his therapist job while I continued to act with the Avengers. Even though Maria worked with Stark, she was rarely found in the Avengers living room space. I considered her part of the Avengers, but I don't think Tony saw it that way. If he did, he didn't show it very much. That continued for the first year or so.
A few months later, Maria was often in the Avengers living room and I didn't know why she had suddenly become a part of the group. I loved having her around, but I didn't understand Stark's motives. Why introduce her to the group all of a sudden? Stark unnerved me a lot of the time and I didn't like the way he kept his cards close to his chest. Too close.
Most nights me and Sam would go over leads on Bucky and I found it tedious that we weren't finding any good leads. I worked with him in the living room most of the time, all the Avengers knowing what we were doing anyway. Another reason I sat in the living room was to see Maria walk past every night. I wasn't stalking her or anything, but I did enjoy seeing the woman. I hadn't spoken to her in a way that wasn't professional ever since the D.C. battle and I didn't get to catch up with her. That was until the night of the party.
A few hours before Stark decided to throw a party, we had captured the sceptre from a HYDRA base. Tony decided that this, of course, meant that we had to celebrate it. Or, in my mind, Tony saw it as an excuse to have alcohol, and more importantly, get drunk.
When I entered the living room, I didn't really know who to talk to, travelling around to random people in the room, not knowing who most of the guests were. I had managed to escape the other parties Stark had put on, but this one, he had forced me to. I invited Sam, but he hadn't arrived yet. I looked across the room, tightening my grip on the bottle in my hand as my anxiety escalated. I used to get asthma a lot before the serum, social situation making me feel worried and under pressure. I took a deep breath and tried to push my anxieties aside as I lifted the bottle up to my lips.
I stopped just before my lips touched the bottle when I saw Maria sitting on one of the sofas by herself, nursing what seemed to be a scotch in her hand. She looked stunning wearing a red dress with a golden collar that hung loosely around her neck. Her hair was the same brown that it had always been and I wondered whether she dyed it as it never seemed to change. It was straightened and I noticed she was sporting a fringe, different to the usual middle parting that she wore in a ponytail. In addition to that, her hair was down, a style that I couldn't remember Maria wearing. It looked good.
I walked over to her, sipping a small amount of drink, and smiled at her when she noticed me. "Hey, Steve." she said, smiling and gesturing next to her. "Care to sit?" she asked and I nodded, moving to sit next to her.
"Are you enjoying your night?" I asked, engaging in light conversation. I wanted to build at least a friendship with her and I figured that it was a good place to start.
"I'm having a good time. Can't argue with free alcohol." she said, lifting up her drink and taking another sip. As she lifted her head and put her lips against the glass' edge, I couldn't help but get distracted again, this time by her impeccably smooth jawline. I often got distracted by beautiful women and I think it was because I had never had a girlfriend in both post and pre serum stages. Natasha had told me to go on a date with Sharon Carter, relative of Peggy and my fake ex-neighbour, but when we went on the date, it didn't work out. Sharon, not that she meant to, was a constant reminder of Peggy for me. I was over Peggy, but dating Sharon didn't help me. "What about you?" she asked. "Can't imagine that I could get through one of Stark's parties without getting at least a little drunk. It is Stark after all."
I chuckled and she smiled at me, amused by her own joke too. "I've had a small amount of a liquor that Thor brought from Asgard, much stronger than Earth's alcohol."
"Yeah, I can see that." she said, looking over at the man that was slumped over the bar next to some other guests who were being taken out of the room.
"I've only ever been drunk once and that was with Bucky. He stole some alcohol of off his father and when he found out afterwards, he was furious." I said, my mind going back to those moments. Drinking with Bucky was probably one of the best moments of my childhood. I shook my head and added "Never managed to get drunk after that." I had tried to get drunk, especially as soon as I had gotten out of the ice. The cabin I was staying in had an alcohol stash. I drank the whole lot, but never managed to get drunk, my body throwing up most of it, purely from over consumption of liquids, not the actual alcohol itself. I wasn't allowed to leave the cabin and it had driven me mad. "The feeling is the same though." I said, holding out my hands as they buzzed. "Before the serum, when I got drunk with Bucky, my hands felt like they had electricity running through them and I'm getting a faint feeling of that now."
"How's the search going?" she asked and I knew immediately that she was talking about mine and Sam's hunt for Bucky.
"There's been practically no trace of him. We think we've got something and then…" I said and shook my head lightly.
"I'm sorry that this has happened to you." she said and I think it was the first time I had ever heard her apologise, not that she needed to. "Barnes shouldn't go down in history as the Winter Soldier. I would offer my services and help you, but Stark-"
"You don't need to give an explanation." I interrupted, waving my head to stop her from thinking in that way. "It's not your fight." I added, hoping that it would ease the guilt she had created for herself. She nodded and I placed my bottle against my lips to take another sip of the alcohol that would have no effect on me.
"Don't get too drunk, Rogers." she said, sipping her drink some more.
"I could say the same to you." I replied and she rolled her eyes, placing her glass on the coffee table in front of us.
"I'm haven't actually had that much to drink." she replied and leant back against the sofa. One of her arms was rested against the sofa back and the other was lying in her lap. Maria did seemed reasonably sober, definitely more so than some of the people in the room. I wondered whether she had the same tolerance to alcohol that Natasha did. "Not as much as my assistant has anyway." she said, her eyes flicking over to the bar.
I furrowed my eyebrows confused. I didn't even know that Hill had an assistant. "Who?" I asked and she pointed over in the bar's direction. I turned my head and saw a beautiful woman with light brown hair with small curls that seemed to fall down naturally. She was wearing a strapless, black, silk dress that stopped just above the middle of her thigh. She wasn't skinny, but I could tell that she worked out, the definition clear on her arms.
"Elisa, my new assistant." she informed me. The woman was currently leaning over the bar as she talked to Sam.
"Did you have an assistant before?" I asked and she nodded, moving her head to face me, though her eyes stayed transfixed on Elisa.
"Amelia Bowen. I caught her making out with one of the agents and I had to fire her." she replied. She still hadn't taken her eyes off of Elisa though they were now shifting to Sam too. Her answer surprised me. I thought to get fired you would have to do something dreadful, but that didn't seem so bad.
"What's the problem with that?" I asked and she averted her eyes to me for a second.
"Fraternisation between agents is not allowed. Tony said that the Avengers were the exception for that rule, but most of you are too busy for relationships anyway." she said, her eyes tightening as she carefully watched Elisa and Sam. "They had better not be flirting."
"But Sam's an Avenger." I pointed out to her. She had completely contradicted her rule of Avengers being the exception. She turned her head and scowled slightly at me before her eyes softened to their usual gaze.
"I don't want her to get distracted by anything." she replied and I nodded, knowing there was no use arguing with the woman. To be honest, Maria had a point about getting distracted. I tried desperately not to get distracted by other agents, but it was difficult to. Distraction was a weakness and it would make me lose in battle. Emotion was a weakness. I didn't want to admit that, but it was true, and I knew that I needed to ask Maria about how she didn't get distracted. Just as I was about to, Sam came over and clapped me on the shoulder.
"Hey, man." he greeted and smiled as I clapped my hand against his. His eyes went to Maria. "Nice to see you, Ria." he said and she nodded before getting up out of her seat.
"Wilson." she said, coldly, and walked over in another direction, swiftly taking her drink off of the table as she did. I watched her walk away and had to push my eyes away to stop myself taking in her curves. The red dress was a perfect fit for her, though after a few moments, the colour was soon lost in the crowd and I turned my attention to Sam who was just about to sit down.
"What's up with her?" he asked, dejectedly. He turned to look at me. "What have I done to offend her?"
"She thought that you were getting a little close with Hill's assistant." I replied, sighing and leaning my elbows on my thighs as I looked over at the woman in question. I could see glimpses of Elisa dancing with her friend. Natasha was off at the sidelines talking with Hill about something.
He raised his eyebrows. "Who? Her assistant, Elisa?"
"Already on first name basis, huh?" I asked with a smirk and he rolled his eyes at my teasing.
"She's a lovely dame." he mocked, throwing his hands up in the air at the word 'dame' and laughing. Steve often teased me about my language use and I always scoffed when he did. "I thought the Avengers were allowed to date whoever they wanted?"
"How do you know that?" I asked.
"Are you kidding? I checked when I first joined who I was and wasn't allowed to date." Sam replied, smiling at me. He was definitely a 'ladies man' as people called them these days. I didn't approve of him flirting with every woman, but many people did these days. Unlike some people though, Sam never cheated on anyone. He wasn't that kind of guy.
Sam's eyes flicked over to something on the side of the room and then back to me. "So is anything going on with you and Hill?"
"If you are referring to her in the way I think you are, then no. We are just friends." If you could even call it that. Perhaps in her eyes we were only acquaintances…
"What about Natasha? Anything going on with her?" he asked and I laughed. Like Nat would date anyone. However, she did seem to be getting close with Banner, flirting in ways that seemed genuine, rather than the fake way she did with me.
"How long does this interrogation need to go on for? I'm not interested in anyone. Same can't be said for you and the new assistant." I threw back and he smiled.
"Did you know she came to see you?" he asked, trying to change the subject, but I went with it, curious as to who he was referencing to.
"Who?" I asked.
"Maria." he answered and I raised an eyebrow. "A couple of times actually."
"Why?" I asked and he shrugged.
"She said that Fury sent her over to check on you, but as soon as you woke up, she didn't show her face again." I didn't understand. Surely, Fury could've gotten in contact with Sam or someone else to ensure I was alright. Then again, Fury was meant to be dead, so perhaps he was trying to maintain his cover.
We moved onto the top balcony as we talked about Natasha and what her relationship was with Clint though I did point out to Sam that her and Banner were getting closer. From our position, you could see the entire party. I observed everyone in their small groups, some of the Avengers messing about with each other. Clint was stuck his tongue out at Thor who was laughing about something. Natasha and Maria were at the bar, chatting with Rhodey and Tony, and Bruce was speaking with Helen Cho, who was the Avenger's medical doctor.
A few hours later, we were all sitting in the lounge area. Rhodey and Tony were perched on the edge of a table while me and Thor were sitting on the sofas. Helen seemed to be slumped over a chair and very intoxicated. Natasha and Bruce were sitting closely on different seats talking to each other whilst Clint and Maria were sat on the floor. Natasha had never mentioned her affections towards Bruce, but I had noticed her flirting with him earlier. It looked genuine, but I still couldn't imagine the pair together.
"Come on, it's a trick." Clint was digging himself a hole, but I let him. Thor challenged him to lift the hammer and, of course, he didn't do it, Tony the next one up for the challenge.
"It's physics." he argued as he slipped his hand over the handle.
"Physics." Bruce repeated. I leant against my knee and tried to hide my smirk as I watched him try to lift it. I noticed Hill smiling gleefully out of the corner of her eye, amused by her boss failing to lift Mjolnir.
The others tried also, Bruce doing a hulk-out joke in the process that none of us laughed at. I chuckled at the scene and looked at Thor who was looking too smug for his own. I smirked and pushed against my thighs, putting myself up for the challenge of lifting the hammer. I thought that I might as well play along with their little game. Maria whooped in the background as I stood up and walked over to it. I had to stop myself from grinning at how stupid this whole situation was. I was actually quite determined to lift it.
I rolled up my sleeves, preparing myself to lift the weight, and scowled at it before placing both hands around the handle. I gripped it and used all my strength to pull it up, but it only moved a tiny bit. I readjusted my grip and pulled again, making the joints in my shoulders crack. I let go with a sigh and put my hands up in defeat. I considered it an achievement and went to sit back down next to Thor who said "Nothing" with a shrug as I walked past.
We gestured for Romanoff to try, but she rejected the offer to lift the hammer, saying that it wasn't a question she needed answered. "All deference to the Man Who Wouldn't Be King, but it's rigged."
"You bet your ass." Clint said, clapping Tony on the back.
"Steve, he said a bad language word." Hill pointed out and I sighed, annoyed, though I secretly wondered how she found out about it. The mission was only this morning.
"Did you tell everyone about that?" I asked Tony, but he cut me off with an explanation as to why he couldn't lift the hammer. Someone earlier had mentioned about me telling off Stark on the mission. I glanced over at Maria who was trying to hold down a smirk from behind the beer she had in her hands. She put it on the table and couldn't help but smile playfully at me. I caught her eyes for a little longer than I should've and her smile faltered slightly when she realised that we were staring at each other. She pursed her lips after a few seconds and quickly averted her eyes to Thor who was now speaking. What was that about?
The rest of that night didn't go entirely smoothly, Ultron ruining everything. A few of the team had been hurt and we immediately set on helping them as soon as Ultron was defeated, everyone convening in Tony's lab to talk about strategy. (A/N - In AOU Maria moves from the chair to the table, but in this version she is sitting on the table as she fixes her foot.)
"We're the Avengers." Stark pointed out, his stern expression showing he was serious even though he was laughing only moments ago. Stark's always had the ability to make every situation funny to him. It was sick of it. "We can bust arms dealers all the livelong day, but that up there..." he said, pointing upwards. "that's...that's the endgame. How were you guys planning on beating that?"
"Together." I replied as he stared at me. I could see fear playing underneath his eyes, a fear that I hadn't seen before, and I wondered what had caused it. Stark had done many stupid things in the past, but doing this was a step too far. I wasn't going to argue with him, because the team was healing. They didn't need an argument and neither did I.
He stepped towards me and said "We'll lose."
I stood my ground. "Then we'll do that together too." I added. "Thor's right." I pressed my lips together and walked around the room. "Ultron's calling us out. And I'd like to find him before he's ready for us. The world's a big place. Let's start making it smaller."
"Well, I'm not going out there without any sleep and everyone could use a few winks. Cap?" Clint asked and I nodded.
"I'll get JAR...I'll wake everyone at six." I replied and they all nodded, forgetting the mistake I had made. JARVIS was gone, but I didn't mind as I didn't rely on him much. I preferred to do my own laundry and make my own coffee and do my own washing up rather than have a robot do it for me. It was another thing that I had brought from the 1940's that no one else seemed to understand. They argued that JARVIS was a machine and there was no point in making life hard for myself, but I took pleasure in doing the little chores that no one else seemed to find pleasant. Stark was the only one that didn't nod.
"I think I'll try and trace th-"
"Stark." I sternly interrupted and he stopped moving towards the computers. "Go to sleep. That's an order." I told him and I could practically see him biting back his retort as he pushed himself away from the desk and went to his quarters. Stark was someone who worked too hard to protect everyone, but in the end he would need sleep to function properly.
Everyone cleared out of the lab to go and it left me time to think of a plan. I was in the middle of walking out when I noticed that Maria was still picking shards of glass out of her foot, her face contorting slightly when she caused herself too much pain. I could tell that she hadn't bothered to even use an anaesthetic.
"Do you need any help?" I asked and she quickly whipped her head around, startled to see me. "It's just me." I said, putting my hands up to show mercy. She smiled briefly and returned to taking the glass out of her foot.
"It's fine, I don't need any assistance." she said, but I walked over to her regardless. I stood next to the table she was sitting on top of and crossed my arms over my chest.
"Did you use a sedative?" I asked, leaning on the desk so that I could see the injury. There were only a few shards of glass left, but the bowl next to her showed the vast amount that she had already taken out.
She shook her head. "Romanoff does the same thing unless the pain is so bad she is going to pass out."
"Why?" I asked. I didn't understand the point to doing it.
"You'll think we are mad, but we do it to learn from our mistakes." she informed me and winced as she pulled out another piece of glass. "JARVIS?" she called. "Could you scan my foot please?"
Nothing happened and she groaned, realising that JARVIS no longer existed. "I can take a look, if you wish? Make sure that you didn't miss anything." I suggested and she looked at me hesitantly before nodding.
"I guess I could do with another pair of eyes on it." I carefully took her foot in my hand and noticed that it was hot from the blood being pumped to it. I held down a lamp so I could see properly and squinted to see if there was any glass left in the wound, but there didn't seem to be.
"Seems to be clear." I replied and stood up. When she looked in the direction of the first aid kit and reached forward to find some bandages, I reached out my hand to stop her, my fingers lightly curled around her wrist. "I'll do it." I said and gradually let go of my grip to get the bandages. I handed Maria some plasters to cover the mild scratches and she did so as I unravelled the bandage.
"Do you have a plan?" she asked and I sighed.
"Would it make you feel better if I said that I did?" I asked and held her foot once she had finished applying the plasters.
"We have a few hours to think of something." she said, looking over at the clock that must've read about 12 o'clock by now.
"We?" I asked as I held her ankle, wrapping the bandage around the base of her foot. A small amount of blood was leaking through the first layer, but I wrapped it correctly to stop any more of the blood flow.
"You don't think you're doing this alone, are you?" she asked and I stopped bandaging her foot to look at her. "I'm a lieutenant and used to be second in command at S.H.I.E.L.D. You could learn a thing or two from me." she said, an amused smile on her face, and I nodded.
"If you insist on helping, then we can go over a plan as soon as I've finished bandaging your foot." I said, smiling, and focused back to wrapping the bandage. I worked in silence for a while as I remembered what I had wanted to ask her a few hours ago, as well as a few years ago. "Can I...ask you something?" I asked as I grabbed a clip to pin the bandage with, glancing at her for a second as I reached over for one.
Maria looked sceptical about my question and replied "I have a feeling you're going to anyway..."
"You know you have a way of..." I thought about which word to use that wouldn't offend her. "approaching situations in life without getting distracted or letting emotions cloud your judgement."
"You could say that, yes." she replied as I fasten the clip between the bandage layers and checked the bottom of her foot for any blood. Seeing that there wasn't any there, I placed her foot back on the table and she sat on the side of the table, her legs hanging freely off of the edge.
"I wanted to ask whether you would be able to train me?" I asked, hoping that I wouldn't sound to crazy. She shrugged and nodded, making me feel relieved that she would help me. The thing about 'Special Agent Maria Hill' was that I couldn't always tell which side she was on. Sometimes it seemed that she lead with her heart, but others her head. I remember someone telling me that Maria Hill was against the Avengers initiative in the beginning. Working for Stark Industries let us all see that those thoughts are no longer in her head. Or maybe they hadn't gone and she was spying on us for Fury? Who could tell!
"Seems like a reasonable request. After Ultron has been defeated, I will train you, if you still want to do so." she said and jumped off the counter, leaping back to lean against it and quickly lifting up her injured foot. She hissed through her teeth and I immediately went to her side, slipping my hand around her back to support her.
"Okay, that was stupid." she groaned and leaned against my hand for support. I had to put more pressure against her back to stop my hand slipping off the silk dress she was wearing. She turned her head to look at me. "You don't have to help me." she replied and I suddenly became aware of how close our bodies were. I was taller than Maria and could feel the short, hot breaths that she was incidentally blowing against my neck. I tightened my jawline and tried to ignore the feeling of her exhaling, the hairs on the back of my neck standing on end.
"You're in pain. I'm not going to let you struggle." I replied and nodded over to the living room sofa. "Let's work over there." I slipped my hand further around her waist and gripped my fingers tight against her to prevent her from falling. She whimpered in pain after the first couple of steps and I knew that I couldn't let her limp over there knowing that I could help her further.
I stopped and she turned, looking at me suspiciously. "Please, don't shoot me for this." I said and quickly put one of my arms underneath her legs to carry her bridal-style to the sofa. She let a quiet 'woah' escape from her lips as she regained her balance, wrapping her hands around my neck. Maria was light and the super-soldier serum let me carry her easily over to the living room. I was surprised that she didn't hit me, but it was late and she seemed tired. I noticed her eyes drooping earlier when she was picking out the glass shards from her foot. "Are you well enough to stay awake? I would prefer you sleep, but-"
"I said I would help you and I will." she said, determination in her voice. Her head was resting against my shoulder and her teasing breaths were clouding my head again. I felt a warm feeling spread across my chest but was relieved of it when I delicately placed her on the sofa in an upright position. I knew that it wasn't Maria herself that was distracting me, but the fact that I hadn't been that close to a woman in a while. The same thing happened with Natasha when she kissed me, but I didn't think anything about as I knew she was just doing it for the mission. "Thank you." she said and smoothed down her dress before we started to draft ideas about Ultron.
We only stayed up for half an hour, finding ourselves too tired to draft any plan that seemed like it would be successful. We couldn't find anything on the internet, we didn't have JARVIS, who was our usual resource, and we didn't know where Stark kept all the old files to research anything. I didn't want to wake up Tony as it was probably the only sleep he had had in the past three weeks. "Come on, we're not getting anywhere. Let's go to bed." I told her and pushed myself off of the floor. I was about to go and help her up, but she seemed to stand on her own. "Do you need any help this time?" I asked and she shook her head, but I noticed her steady herself with her arms.
"Thank you, Captain. But I'm quite alright." I would've told her to drop the Captain, because it was not needed, but Natasha often called me Captain as a form of humour 'apparently'.
"Where will you be staying tonight?" I asked as we walked over to the elevator, my eyes constantly checking on Maria's foot to make sure she wasn't in any pain.
"Tony said that he would let me stay in my guest room on Avenger's sleeping floor. I slept in the guest room so often, too busy with work to go home, that he said I could keep the room here on a permanent basis. I find the room too luxurious sometimes. I find Tony too generous sometimes as well. It's strange to see him concerned."
"I know what you mean..." I replied, thinking to how much all the Avenger's rooms must've cost. "But you are practically one of the team, so he would care about you." I said as we reached the elevator and I pressed the button. I looked at her and saw the mix of surprise and confusion on her face.
"Stark really thinks of me as an Avenger?" she asked, curiously.
"We all do." I replied as the lift doors opened and I entered. Maria stood rooted to the spot outside, staring at the floor as she took in my reply, until I coughed and she looked up at me. "You getting in?" I asked, gesturing to the elevator, and she nodded quickly before stepping inside the elevator. I pressed the button that took us to the Avenger's floor sleeping space and turned to Maria who wasn't leaning on her feet, putting all her weight on the right. She tried to hide it, but I saw the slight slant in her shoulders and I could see her biting her lip with force.
"Would you stop pretending you are alright and let me carry you, please?" I asked and she huffed in annoyance before lifting up an arm to put around my neck. I lifted her up from underneath her legs and, when she was in my arms, she wasn't rigid like before. She slouched a little more than last time, making it easier for me to hold her. Her head was at the top of my chest facing downwards, which, thankfully, meant that her breath wasn't on my neck.
"Are you scared about what Ultron's doing?" Maria asked and I sighed, staring ahead at the lift doors, though I could feel her eyes on me.
"Yes." I answered, seeing no point in lying to her.
"Do you think you can lead the team feeling like that?" she asked and I bit the inside of my lip, thinking over whether I could be the Captain the team needed or not. I had had many doubts over the years about being the leader, taking on the role purely because everybody else was busy, but I debated whether I had the leadership skills to dash out the orders.
"I don't know." I replied, honestly, and we waited in silence until the lift opened. I walked down the corridor with Maria in my arms, the silence between us making me feel uncomfortable. It was tense for me, especially since I had never been this close to a woman that I didn't know that well. I had saved many people in battle and carried them in that fashion, but I had never spoken to them before. They were strangers Natasha was the other end of the scale, our relationship as friends making me feel comfortable around her. But Maria made me feel something different that I couldn't figure out. Whatever it was, I was fond and not fond of it at the same time.
"Which door it it?" I asked, carrying her down the corridor passing a set of rooms that were all for guests.
"This one." she said, pointing to the one that we were nearly at. As soon as I reached her door, I carefully set her down on her feet and smiled at she scanned her thumb print against the scanner.
"Are you going to be alright?" I asked and she nodded, opening the door.
"I'll be okay, Captain." she replied, pushing the door further open to enter the room.
"Visit or call me if you need anything, okay?" I asked and she nodded again, her face not letting slip any signs of emotion.
"Understood, Cap." she replied and nearly shut the door before adding "Goodnight."
"Goodnight, Maria." I replied and watched as her white door shut, leaving me staring at the blank colour with an odd feeling circulating my chest. I shook my head and made my way towards my room, trying to figure out why she was confusing me so badly. I didn't like her in a way as more than a friend. I didn't trust her either.
The next morning, we went over the plans, Maria now wearing heels after being healed by the regeneration equipment Dr. Cho had left in the tower from healing Barton. Thankfully, Ultron hadn't taken that.
The next few days were utter madness, Ultron wreaking havoc throughout every continent. We had lost Natasha and it pained me to think about how Clint must've felt when I ordered him to leave her behind. She meant more to him that she could imagine and we all saw it. I was prepared to die at this battle, telling Tony that I had no plans tomorrow night as I came to terms with why I was alive. I was here to serve. In the beginning, I didn't really have a purpose, but, once I found my way with S.H.I.E.L.D, I did. I thought I was going to die in DC and, by some miracle, I didn't. However, that didn't mean I felt any differently, the dedication to saving people still in my heart. I would never give up trying to save them.
"Ultron knows we're coming." I said, making up a speech on the spot as I spoke to the group. I was the leader, one who was put out to inspire the Avengers, along with the nation. Instead of motivating the group, I told them the truth. "Odds are we'll be riding into heavy fire. And that's what we signed up for. But the people of Sokovia, they didn't." I added, directing that part at Pietro, who I hoped was listening. "So our priority is getting them out. All they want is to live their lives in peace. And that's not gonna happen today. But we can do our best to protect them. And we can get the job done. We find out what Ultron's been building, we find Romanoff, and we clear the field. Keep the fight between us."
I looked at the ground, deep in thought as I remembered what Maria had said, about me being scared and not capable of being a leader. I felt like a monster, like someone that wasn't supposed to be in the world, but I did my best to protect the one that I had, even though that I knew some people didn't favour the Avengers. I often found myself wondering whether I should go back under, maybe it was the best thing. If we lost this battle, I was going to do so, because I didn't see the point of being there if I couldn't protect the world properly. They could de-ice me when they needed me, but I couldn't keep living knowing that I was a monster in the people's eyes. I didn't tell anyone about my plans, deciding that it was best if everyone's attention was focused on the mission. I would get in contact with Fury after the battle somehow.
"Ultron thinks we're monsters, that we're what's wrong with the world. This isn't just about beating him. It's about whether he's right."
The evacuation seemed easy enough, Ultron not bothering us as we began evacuating the Sokovians, but as I heard Stark talking, I also heard the sound of machines whirring to life. As soon I saw robots begin to converge on the country, I immediately started fighting, trying to protect as many people as possible at the same time. The ground started to crumble and I panicked, realising that the bridge I was standing on was lifting up from the ground.
I listened to the screams of the people and tried to zone out of Ultron's speech, but found myself tuning into every world as I felt the country rise above the rest of the world. "Do you see...the beauty of it? The inevitability. You rise, only to fall. You, Avengers, you are my meteor. My swift and terrible sword. And the earth will crack with the weight of your failure. Purge me from your computers, turn my own flesh against me. It means nothing. When the dust settles, the only thing living in this world..." I heard a robot creep up from behind me and I immediately threw my shield at it. "will be metal." Ultron finished and I shook my head, calling my shield back to me and returning to battle mode as I took out more robots.
Sorry, that was a little smuttier than I intended, but please don't be angry at me.
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