When he opens his eyes again, the first thing he notices is that Ian's picture is not in his hands. Also, he's lying down. He sits up quickly, searching around for the picture, but it's nowhere to be seen. He sighs. He must have had a blackout again. He's almost thankful for that. There's something different, however, something not quite right about his room. He looks around to see the curtains are open and faint sunlight is coming through the windows. Upon further examination, he realizes some of Svetlana's things are around the room, like when they were still sleeping in the same bed. He frowns, anger suddenly taking over. What the hell is she thinking, that just because Ian is… gone… that she'll move back in? He stands up, fueled by his anger, but what he hears next makes him stop dead in his tracks.

"I just came by to see you."

Ian? That's Ian's voice! His breath gets caught in his chest and he runs to the hallway, stopping dead in his tracks when he sees him. It's Ian, it really is Ian, his hair cut shorter than the last time Mickey's seen him, a heavy coat hugging his body and a scarf around his neck. Mickey sighs. It's a memory. It's just his memory of that day, the day Ian left him. He must be dreaming of it. Well, if dreaming is his chance of seeing Ian again, he'll take it.

Ian is looking at him, waiting for him to say something. What had he said that day? Oh, that's right. He talked about the weight he'd been lifting. He looks down at his hands, but they're empty now. He shrugs. He hears Ian scoffing and looks up to see his disappointed look. What was next? Oh, yeah.

"Get in here, I wanna show you something." He nods in the direction of his bedroom and moves into it. "Come on, come check it out", he repeats, knowing Ian is following him.

Once he's inside the bedroom, however, the words seem to escape him. He can't quite remember what he said that day, and it doesn't really matter anyway. This is his chance to edit the past, right? He knows he'll wake up soon and it'll all be gone, so what difference does it make?

He smiles at Ian, lighting a cigarette. "Why don't we pick up where we left off?"

Ian smiles and shrugs. "No, thanks."

Mickey blows out the smoke sharply and scoffs. "Hard to get's getting me hard, Gallagher."

He knows what Ian's going to say, of course. How could he ever forget it? He figures it won't hurt, it's just a memory, it's not a real moment. But it still cuts through his chest like a sharp knife. "Well, I'm leaving town."

He takes another drag, exhales slowly and puts out the cigarette. "Right, the army."

Ian looks up at that, eyes wide. "How did you know?"

"Your fucking dream, isn't it?"

Ian just nods, looking surprised. "Tomorrow morning."

"Well, don't." He doesn't choke this time, the words coming out of his mouth clearly.

Ian frowns. "Don't what?"

"Don't go. You're gonna ruin your life."

Ian scoffs and turns around to leave. Mickey feels his heart beating faster in his chest. No, no, this can't be happening, not again, he's not going to let Ian leave him again.

"I mean it! The army is gonna change you, and not in a good way. You won't like it there, you'll have problems and you'll leave and it'll only cause you trouble and you won't be the same when you come back, and in the end it'll ruin your life!"

Ian stops at that and turns around, seeming angry and ready to shout something back, but Mickey doesn't give him time. "Besides, I'll miss you." That seems to shock Ian into silence and he stares at Mickey with eyes wide and mouth gaping like a fish. "Of course I won't admit it, because I'm fucking stupid like that, but I'll miss you like hell, and I'll go to the Alibi and drink until I can forget about you every day, but it won't help, because I can't forget about you. And I'll pick up some random chick just because she has red hair and I want to believe that's what I'm attracted to and not dicks, but it's a lie and it doesn't work, because I still can't forget about you. And I'll steal a picture of you from Mandy's things and put it on the mirror in the bathroom and I'll try to jerk off to it, but I can't because I'm just so fucking sad without you that I can't even do that properly. And I'll just mope around day in and day out until you come back, finally, but it'll be too late, because you'll have changed, and no matter how happy we are together, it can't be for long because you won't be the same anymore, you won't be my Ian anymore." He pauses, breathing heavily and watching Ian intently. The younger boy hasn't moved yet, but he does then, quickly taking a step forward, grasping Mickey's cheeks between his large hands and pressing their lips firmly together.

Mickey is taken aback for half a second before he starts kissing back, one hand holding Ian's coat while the other encircles his waist, bringing him closer. He parts his lips and welcomes Ian's tongue inside, sighing into the kiss. He knows this is just his imagination, but it doesn't feel like a dream anymore. It feels real, it feels like Ian is really there, like he is really there, back in his room, back to that day somehow. Mickey doesn't believe in time traveling or any of that supernatural shit, but right now he'd swear he's gone back in time and this is real, this is actually happening. God, he'd give anything for it to be true. Ian tastes of mint and smells of cologne and Mickey feels his head start to spin in the best of ways. He nearly stumbles forward when Ian pulls back abruptly.

"You're saying all this", he starts, out of breath, "but you still married her."

Mickey sighs. Even dream Ian insists on this bullshit. "I had no fucking choice! Jesus, why won't you get this? Fuck! You know my dad, what do you think he'd have done? I had to!"

"No, you didn't. You could have left, we could have left together, we still can!"

Mickey pulls back and rubs his eyes. "Ian, I… shit, it's not that I don't want to, okay? But… I can't. Not now. You can't either. Let's wait, okay? Just… can you wait for me? Not long, I promise. Let's just think about this and plan it right, okay? Maybe when my dad is back in jail - god knows that won't take long. Yeah?"

Ian reaches for him again and presses their foreheads together, nodding slightly.

"Yeah", he whispers. "Yeah, okay."

He leans down to touch Mickey's lips with his own again, this time less desperately, more slowly, enjoying every nibble on their lips, every touch of their tongues, every soft caress of their fingers. Please be real, Mickey silently asks the universe, please let this somehow be real. They hear the door being closed behind them and break apart to look at it.

"Shit! Mandy…"

"It's okay." Mickey shrugs, once more surprising Ian, who looks at him with raised eyebrows. "She would have found out sooner or later." He pulls Ian close again, reinitiating the kiss, and it's not long until Ian's removing his coat and his scarf and letting them fall onto the floor. Their hands roam freely, caressing and exploring, and Mickey feels likes he's going to burst, either from the sexual tension or from happiness, he does not know. Ian's lips suck on his collarbone and his hands tug on Mickey's tank top. Mickey's pulse accelerates and he lets himself fall onto the bed, bringing Ian down with him. They undress slowly, savoring the moment, every discarded piece of clothing being replaced with several hot kisses that leave their skins burning and their hearts swollen. When he feels Ian move inside him he closes his eyes firmly to avoid spilling the tears he knows are forming behind them. He blinks them open to see Ian's concerned face hovering above his and pulls him down for a kiss. What is he supposed to say? You were dead? You were dead, but now you're not; you left me, but you're still here; you were gone forever, but you're back with me; I loved you, and I still do, and I always will. They rock together rhythmically, peppering each other with kisses, holding tight in their embraces. Ian looks at Mickey like he's his sun and his moon and his stars and Mickey wants to laugh, because he knows his own eyes express the same feeling.

"I love you", he murmurs against Ian's lips, and if Ian's grin is not enough answer, if the way he kisses him after doesn't say it all, the way his voice trembles when he says "I love you too" is enough to bring Mickey to the verge of tears again. And he knows he's acting like a sap, and he knows that's supposed to make him weak, but he can't bring himself to care. Because Ian, his Ian, his only love, his only chance of happiness in this fucked up life, has returned to him.