"Wake the Ashes"
Chapter Two: New Beginning
"You saw my pain washed out in the rain and broken glass
Saw the blood run from my veins
But you saw no fault - no cracks in my heart
And you knelt beside my hope torn apart"
-Mumford and Sons, "Ghosts That We Knew"
They had been living on Tatooine for nearly a year, now, and Bane decided it was time to start getting serious about Tee's education. The time for rest and recuperation had to be allowed, sure, but it couldn't last forever. Sooner or later they had to start moving forward again so the rest of the world would become unable to take advantage of their need for rest. He knew going into this that Tee's education would be his sole responsibility, and the longer he put it off, the more difficult it would be. And of course, there would never be a shortage of things she could learn.
It didn't take much thought to figure out that Tee's experience on Ryloth had robbed her of any true learning or education. Other than her birth date and age, which he had acquired by rough estimations courtesy of the medical droid, Bane knew nothing about Tee's story previous to Ryloth. As a result, it was hard to know just how much education she had already acquired or how far behind she was in comparison to other younglings her age. He had to do something about that.
Once Bane had her seated and comfortable in her chair at the table, he handed her a slip of blank paper and a pencil stub.
"Is this going to be fun?" Tee whined.
Bane thought for a minute. Younglings liked to do fun things, so he would win over Tee's cooperation if he told her it would be fun. After all, maybe he could try to weave some fun into it.
"Of course it's going to be fun. I'm just going to ask you a few questions, and have you do a few things on that sheet of paper. Nothing too hard, just simple things. If you can't answer, just tell me...you don't have to make up an answer if you don't have one. Just do what you can. That's all you have to do. Okay, Tee?"
"Okay," she said, not sounding fully convinced this was going to be fun.
"Good. All right, now first, write your name on the sheet of paper."
"My full name? Takira Tee Bane?"
"Sure, sure, go ahead."
Even though Takira was supposed to be her official first name, she tended to use her nickname Tee as an additional middle name. And naturally, for the most part, Tee said that since she had never had a last name, at least one she still remembered, she wanted to use his instead. For now, Bane had no problems with that.
"'Little Takira flower'..." she sang as she began to scribble, echoing a nickname Bane called her on occasion. "Can I write that?"
"Well, that's not your real name. It's just a nickname."
Bane watched as Tee worked hard to write her name in Aurebesh on the paper. Her handwriting was smooth but forced, but at least she knew how to write. That would save them a lot of time. When she finished, Bane had to remind himself to congratulate her so she would be more motivated to keep answering his questions.
"Good work, Tee. Now, can you write the numerical digits?"
"What are those?"
"Can you write numbers one through ten?"
He looked over the numbers she had written down. Her five and six were backwards, and she was missing the eight and the two. Bane made a note of that on his datapad.
"How far can you count? Would you like to try?" he asked.
"I can make it to twenty, but I don't know how to count past twenty."
"I'll teach you how to count past twenty."
Bane had made a list of what to ask Tee. Questions such as how many major systems were in the galaxy, the largest populations of sentient species, how to put out a fire, what five times three equaled, the difference between pentagons and octagons, and so on and so on until they had been sitting there for nearly two hours. During this time, he had made many notes on his datapad about things he was going to teach to Tee. He had also made a separate list of what he would teach to her through holobooks and what could be taught through hands-on experience.
Tee rolled her eyes as Bane told her he only had one more question to ask.
"One more question, you promise?" Tee moaned, flopping around her sheet of paper which had been filled on both sides.
"I promise," Bane said solemnly.
"Okay..." she sighed. Bane pretended to read over his datapad, and then he asked, "How would you like me to take you for a ride on the new speeder bike?"
Tee stared at him with wide eyes.
"Do you mean it? Are you serious? But you told me I'm not allowed to ride it."
"Well, you deserve it after all that. My treat. What do you say?"
Tee whooped and jumped out of her chair, racing for the garage downstairs.
"I'm going to ride on the bike! I'm going to ride on the bike!"
Bane got up to follow her.
"Hold on, you're not riding all by yourself. You're going with me."
Tee was nothing short of ecstatic as she followed Bane into the garage and he began to prepare the speeder bike. He already had protective armor picked out and re-sized for her. As excited as she was, Tee somehow managed to hold still as Bane fixed the armor over her torso, arms, legs, and hands, then put a helmet on her head that protected the top of her lekku. He put the visor down over her eyes and she squealed.
"I can't believe I get to ride your bike!"
It was late afternoon by then, and the hills were painted with the colors of the twin suns sinking towards the west. It was past midday long enough that the cool night air had just begun settling in, but not too late so that there would be Tuskens out and about. In other words, it was the perfect time of day on Tatooine to go for a drive. Bane let her sit in front and hold the handlebars. His hands covered hers to help guide her steering. Then they set off into the wilderness that stretched out all around like a canvas with no brush marks, and no civilization in sight.
Nobody else was around. Nobody else was going to bother them. It was just the two of them and Bane did not want to have it any other way.
Bane did not realize it at first, but he was already giving Tee her very first lesson: how to steer a speeder bike. He drove them to a steady, even plateau in the desert where he gradually allowed Tee to take control of the speeder bike, showing her how to turn, speed up, and slow down. In minutes she was getting the hang of it. She learned fast...a very encouraging sign.
That was the first time Bane heard her laugh so long and heartily. It dawned on him that it was the fact that someone had taught her how to do something on her own, that made her so happy. It was probably the first time in many years anyone had so much as bothered to teach Tee anything. Anything that would give her help over harm, that is.
As he began to lead the speeder bike back in the direction of home, he heard Tee say that she was beginning to feel cold. Bane let her release the handlebars and wrap her arms around his waist. For some reason, as Tee clung to him and they watched the house draw nearer around the bend, Bane felt a sense of comfort and security he had never had before. Perhaps it was having someone hold onto him with no intentions of letting go that made him feel that way. Perhaps it was knowing that for the first time he was going to give something to someone else without expecting them to pay him back. Or, perhaps, it was simply the fact that he would not be coming home to an empty house anymore.
He made the remainder of the trip as peaceful and relaxing as was possible on a speeder bike, seeing how it was Tee's first time. Night had almost fallen by the time they were back at the house, and when Bane looked down he discovered Tee had fallen asleep, still clinging to him. He picked her up and carried her inside, and laid her down in her bed without a sound.
Don't worry about anything, Tee. I'm going to teach you all you need to know so you'll stay safe. You're going to be all right.
If there was one day that would remain strong and clear in Cad Bane's mind years later, it was the memory of the day that Tee reached out and touched the holobook on herbs and medicines.
To be quite honest, he did not think much of it at the time, if at all. It was just another holobook to him. A holobook he bought and downloaded a copy of off the HoloNet through a security droid that kept their location and identity invisible to any other HoloNet users. A holobook he gave to Tee for the sake that she could get an education just like any other girl her age who went to school and went on field trips and studied plants in a small lab, and for the time being hopefully function as a means of educating Tee until she could enroll in such a school. Which seemed less and less likely, and that only meant Bane downloaded more and more holobooks. That was what the book on herbs and medicines was from the beginning, and that was all it was intended to be.
The day that Bane began to catch on to the fact that there was something different this time, was supposed to be a peaceful day. He had only recently completed work for a crime syndicate centered in Mos Espa, payment for which was not entirely impressive but covered the bills and some new supplies. Now, with said payment, Bane had purchased new engine parts for the speeder bike, which it needed desperately.
He spent most of the morning lying on his back underneath the speeder, slowly working on replacing the old parts with the ones he recently purchased. This would not have been such a difficult task if Bane was more used to repairing vehicles himself, rather than simply sending them to a garage so someone else could fix it. Around the time the war began, Bane's reputation had earned him enough benefits so that he did not have to stoop to such forms of manual labor. Being a professional at his job, he had more important things to do than spend an entire day fixing a speeder. In addition, having a busy schedule, employers on both sides, and the Republic putting a high price on his head had further complicated matters.
These days, however, it was a whole other story. If the engine wouldn't run, you could not just send it into town to get it fixed. That cost money he no longer had the flexibility to spend nor the time to give away. You saved yourself the expense by fixing the engine yourself, and that meant you had to know how to take things apart and put them back together without anyone's help. Furthermore, it wasn't a bad idea to keep any scraps you had, and maybe collect parts from vehicles you might find broken down out in the desert. Because you just never knew when you might need it.
Such was the mentality Bane had discovered he would need to acquire, if he was going to continue with this new way of life.
By the time it occurred to Bane how long he had been working on his current garage project, it was almost noon with nothing on the table for them to eat. He dragged himself out from under the speeder, cleaned the grime off his hands, and returned upstairs to find Tee and make sure she was all right by herself.
Bane had been expecting Tee to do be involved in one of her regular activities. Rearranging her growing collection of so-called trinkets; cleaning or sweeping another part of the house that was still covered in filth; or playing around with a small, broken piece of equipment that Bane currently did not need. As it turned out, Tee had a holobook opened in front of her and three bowls with unidentified items inside of them, all spread out on the kitchen table. Bane did not know what to make of it.
"Tee, are you hungry? I'm going to make something." He glanced over the three bowls and the holobook, still confused. "Whatchyu doing?"
"I'm making medicine."
"Medicine? I see." Bane approached the table. Inside the bowls were various plants. Some razor moss and desert sage, and a bit of juice from what might have been a cacta bush. These as well as a few other substances Bane could not identify. He figured Tee had just decided to find some stuff to play around with and pretend it was medicine.
"I have a holobook on how to make medicine from plants. I already made one from sage and cacta bush. It helps cuts heal faster and clean out any infection."
Bane nodded. It could not hurt to play along for a little while, he supposed.
"Do you have any cuts? Maybe we could try it and see if it works."
At that, Bane could not help but smile at such an odd and curious question. As he opened the conservator to search for some ingredients to make a light meal, Tee cleared her throat loudly and crossed her arms at the table.
"Why don't you check?" she demanded.
"Oh...I give up. Let's try it."
At least this way she'll get rid of any ideas of using plant mixtures as medicine before it gets out of hand, Bane told himself as he sat down at the kitchen table. He held out his hands in open palms, allowing Tee to look over them for any sorts of cuts.
"They're filthy! How did you get them like that!" Tee snapped, sounding like a housewife. She took one hand in both of hers and began searching every nook and cranny for something to try her new so-called medicine on. Her fingers caressing his knuckles and wrists felt oddly relaxing, as Tee's hands were still very small and soft and delicate.
"I was working on the engine. Engines are dirty things."
"Yeah, well, I can clearly see that. You're supposed to always keep them clean when you're going to be touching food. Don't you know better?"
"I guess I'm not too good at remembering things like that."
"Aha! I found one," Tee cried, and pointed to a knuckle on Bane's left hand. "See, there's a small cut right there and it's really dirty. I'm going to put some medicine on it."
"All right, all right..." he said, hoping whatever weird stuff Tee had been mixing up all morning would not be too toxic.
Tee dabbed some of the medicine on a cloth, which she pressed onto the cut. Bane had not been expecting the sharp sting that followed, and he forced down a wince. Tee repeated the motion twice more before Bane gestured for her to hold back and wait.
What followed surprised Bane at least twice as more than Tee. For sure enough, within sixty seconds, the medicine had not only managed to help clean the surrounding area but closed up the wound as well. Tee gasped when she pulled back the cloth and saw the result.
"It worked! Cad, I did it. I can't believe it worked."
"How...how did you do that?"
"I read about it in the holobook you gave me. I didn't think it would work, but it did. I think that means I'm a doctor now, doesn't it?"
"I don't know what else it would make you. You really got the hang of that quick, didn't you?" Bane looked at the pride beaming across Tee's face, as if she had saved a life or a hundred lives, and Bane cracked a small smile. "Maybe herbs and medicines is your thing."
"I'm going to make another one! But we got to make sure it's for something you already have, okay?"
With that Tee skipped away, singing her nickname "little Takira flower" over and over. As he returned to his work, Bane thought that it would be a good idea to let Tee take more interest in this making of medicines. After all, she had no friends to socialize with out there except for the droids. Taking up a recreational activity could get her mind off the quiet and emptiness, and put her hands to work. Bane did not see how it could be a bad thing at all.
At least, he didn't at the time.
On one of their first trips into the town together, Bane told Tee to stick close by where he could always see her. She said she would, but then again, Tee said a lot of things she didn't mean.
The previous night, when Bane told her he was finally going to take her into town with him, she became so excited that what was supposed to be a peaceful evening turned into two hours of tickle fights and pillow brawls. Bane continuously reminded himself to be gentle and not hurt her. As a consequence, Tee exacted far more punishment via tickles and pillows than Bane anticipated. But soon after Tee finally exhausted herself to sleep and Bane had to work on restocking his weapons for an hour just to wear off how embarrassed he felt about the whole thing. Letting a little girl throw you around was something he'd have to get used to. In fact, up until that night, he doubted he'd actually ever been tickled before.
While he went into the mercantile to pick up some supplies, Tee crossed the street to the holobook store, where a sale was happening outside. Bane stole occasional glances over his shoulder to watch Tee gaze over the shelves of books in front of her like they were made of credits.
All right, perhaps occasional could be replaced with every ten seconds. But if there was one thing Bane knew far too much about, it was what could happen to a little girl like Tee if someone had their back turned for even five seconds too long.
The next time Bane turned around, he saw Tee speaking to one of the holobook store workers. He could already see her coming back, yanking on his coat, and begging for some credits so she could buy a holobook. But oh well, there were worse things a little girl could want to buy after all. Bane left the mercantile with his things and began to cross the street to pick up Tee, when suddenly she ran to him and grabbed his waist. Shrugging off the gesture, he began to fish in his pocket for some change when he noticed that there were tears in Tee's eyes.
"Hey, what's the matter?"
"She said I was dumb!" Tee cried. "She said I was dumb just because I couldn't read the numbers. She said if I couldn't tell how much a book cost I was too dumb to read them."
Bane looked up at the holobook store. The 'she' in question appeared to be the wife of one of the local farmers, selling the holobooks at her booth.
Once they were back at the speeder, Bane knelt down and cupped Tee's chin so she would look him in the eye.
"You're not dumb. Nobody is dumb just because they miss a couple numbers."
"But what if all the others kids as old as me never miss numbers? I'm not as smart as them—"
"They don't matter. Forget about them. All that matters is you can tell yourself you're not dumb. Understand?" He motioned for her to clean her face up, which she did.
Had he slightly less rationale, he would have gone over there himself and straightened the matter, telling the woman off for making Tee cry like that. Of course he had a lot more insults in mind than just 'dumb' he'd be more than happy to use. But what good would that do, other than draw them unnecessary attention? It's not like he could make her undo hurting Tee. Not to mention he didn't want to teach Tee the habit of starting pointless fights.
So, once again, he had to resist his second nature. He didn't always like having to do that. But he might as well get used to it.
19 BBY – one year ago
.
They had moved in to the hideout exactly one week ago. As soon as they arrived, Cad Bane realized it was going to need some heavy renovation if this was going to be where Tee stayed. Things he normally would have deemed as a waste of money and space were now essential, such as extra safety measures, comfortable bedding, and locks for the places he kept his weapons and ammunition. As Tee chose which place for her bed to be, Bane made a long and plentiful list of what they would need.
Tee, who was still trying to decide what she wanted her full name to be, did not say much for that first week. Once in a while she may ask Bane a question, such as where the tall Kyuzo male left to while they were at the hospital, and what she was going to eat when she was hungry. Most of what Bane fed her was either pre-made or instant, a diet he knew would not be healthy for her if he wanted her go grow stronger. So that would have to change too. As for Embo's disappearance, Bane avoided the topic altogether. Other than this, Tee was very quiet.
In their first few days living in the hideout, Bane cut off any contact with the outside world. He only occupied himself with making both of them comfortable and safe in their new home. For long periods of time, entire morning or afternoons even, Bane found his mind wandering, and this was never good. It always ended with him wondering if he should ask Embo to come back for Tee before he shot himself, just as had been the original plan all along. Every time Bane began to consider this, he had to quickly go outside and away from any weapons so he could be alone and unable to harm himself. Sometimes it would be hours before Bane could go back to the house in confidence that he was not going to try anything. Of course, it would not occur to Bane until much later that these long hours when he was alone meant that Tee was alone too. Alone in a dark house with nothing to occupy herself.
But for the first week, Tee did not seem to mind having nothing to do. In fact, it was like a burden lifted from her shoulders. It was as if for the first time in her life, Tee had nothing to worry about, much less think about. She made herself a small bed in which she rested, hummed to herself, and used cheap art supplies Bane bought for her to paint pictures on the inside walls.
Cad Bane would remember that first week, save for their first night in the house, as being uneventful and very, very quiet for both of them. Considering what the previous few weeks had been like, he had no qualms with that. They could damn well use a little quiet.
The quiet ended exactly one standard week after Bane and Tee left Ryloth and came to Tatooine. Bane sat up straight in bed, swearing he had heard a loud sound. When he listened again, he realized it was coming from the other room and it sounded like screaming. Bane got out of bed to find Tee. As he approached her, Bane could hear words spoken between the blood-curdling cries.
"Stop touching me. Stop touching me."
Bane walked in and found Tee curled up on the floor, her knees up to her chin. She had used her fingernails to scratch open her arms. Blood clotted beneath her nails and formed prints on her legs.
Bane knew what was happening almost immediately.
Nightmares. Tee was reliving Ryloth, and...and whatever had happened to her on Ryloth. And seeing how she had clawed at herself, as if trying to shed a layer of skin she felt was dirty and defiled, and screamed on the floor desperate to tell them to stop touching her, Bane did not need any imagination to know what must have happened. He felt nauseous. She was only ten years old.
He got down on the floor and grabbed Tee so she would stop scratching. She screamed and tried fighting back, but of course she was no match for him. Tee shook her head as tears streamed down her face, and Bane held her wrists so she could not hurt herself anymore. Finally he gave her a firm shake.
"Wake up—you're fine."
Tee's eyes shot open and she looked around her as if she had forgotten where she was. Slowly it all began to come back to her.
"You're all right. Everything's all right."
I wish I knew what to do. What are you even supposed to do? he wondered. He had been in situations where he saw something like this happen to a sentient, but never in the position where he had to help them. If at all, he would ignore it, pretend it wasn't happening. Ignorance was no longer an option.
Tee looked up at him. Her lower lip was trembling.
"I'm okay?" she whispered hoarsely.
"You're on Tatooine, remember? Everything's all right." Bane let go of her and took a nearby cloth with which to clean her face. "Nobody's going to hurt you."
"But I...he..."
"They're all gone now. They're not here anymore."
She cried some more, but Bane was almost certain she was out of the bad dream by then. Her body was still shaking, so Bane held her in his arms, and for a long time they said nothing to each other, sitting on the dirty floor of the house, in the darkness, listening to Tee's quiet sobs and Bane's slow breathing. Every once in a while he would hear her whisper something along the lines of "I didn't like him", or "I want it to go away."
He wondered when this would end for her. If it ever would. Did things like this ever go away?
"Can you sing me something?" Tee finally piped up.
"What for?" Bane replied, as he could not understand why she would need singing to at all.
"I've never had someone sing to me."
"Oh. Okay, then...what would you like me to sing?" Bane tried to think of something, but no songs he knew came to mind as that which would be a source of comfort to Tee. He had never really bothered to pay much attention, except for whatever radio signals he got in space or in the nearest cantina.
"Just sing something."
Then Bane recalled an older song he had once heard. It had been performed in a high-class club on the Colo system while he did some undercover work there. At the time he was mere weeks away from his first time being hired by the CIS, a job that would strengthen his reputation and make his name one of the most infamous in the galaxy. But of course, on Colo, he had no knowledge this was about to happen. Instead he had stayed in the club, having nothing to do at the moment, so he allowed himself to relax for a few moments and listen to the song with his full attention. Somehow, the lyrics had stuck with him all this time.
The song he heard in the club was titled 'the Takira song', after a flower that was said, according to legend, to only grow out of ashes.
A/N: Yes, I am writing "awwww" scenes with full deliberation and intention...why? Because I need to give my characters "awwww" moments, that's why!
Bane is not the best daddy (as we'll get more into with later chapters) but he gets a gold star for trying. Enjoy the cuteness, everyone.
Reviews are appreciated and I'd love to hear what you think of the story so far!