What's up, my loyal fans? I thank you all kindly for reviewing! Well, at least the two reviewers anyways. Guys, I'm flattered that so many people read my
story, but I NEED, NEED, NEED, NEED reviews. Please do not read and not review. Review! Please! Well, enough chatter, here is the next chapter of
What Kind of Sick Joke is This?
Notes:
*Pedeball-a popular Cybertronian game. The sport is football (American, for all my non-American readers) with soccer rules and scoring(besides the
whole can't touch the ball with your hands and no body contact rules). Mechs generally play the sport, though the odd femme does play occasionally with
the mechs.
I do NOT own Transformers! All I own is the characters and plot. (Sorry for not including it in the first chapter, but it should have been obvious!)
HipHop rolled into the base behind Prime and transformed back into bipedal mode. Suddenly she was tackled by two gold and red flashes.
"AUGH!" she yelped as she landed on her aft.
"HIPHOP!" the Lamborghini twins yelled as they hugged their old friend excitedly.
"Sunny? Sides!" Her faceplate lit up with a grin. "Where th'frag have y'two been? Ah haven't seen y'since we were younglin's."
"Around," Sideswipe generalized, but Sunstreaker growled. "Don't call me Sunny!"
HipHop rolled her eyes and noogied his helm roughly. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep telling y'self that. Still ain't gonna stop."
"Wait, how do you know these guys?" Ironhide asked, curious how she knew the infamous twins.
"Sunny and Sides-"
"Don't. Call. Me. SUNNY, DAMNIT!" Said mech exclaimed. HipHop smacked him upside the helm.
"Shaddup, dumbaft! Ah've called y'Sunny for vorns and nothin's gonna change that. So act like a sponge an' suck it up!" she snapped. "Anyways, we went t' th' same primary school. Ah was their partner 'n crime."
She smoothly untangled herself from the heap of limbs and stood up. Sideswipe stood after her, a sly grin on his face.
"Is that space armor, 'cause your aft is outta this world!" The bots groaned at the horrible pickup line. But HipHop smirked and cut him down.
"Nope, this is pedeball* armor, 'cause Ah'm outta your league."
"I'm Primus's gift to femmes."
"Primus must have a really good sense o' humor."
"Your berth or mine?"
"Both; you go t'yours an' Ah go t'mine."
"Where have you been all my life?"
"Hidin' from ya."
"Bad femme! Go to my room!"
"No, I'm too rebellious."
"I... you... frag."
"Still can't beat meh, glitch head!" She crowed proudly. Turning her head, HipHop smiled at Red Alert and Mirage.
"Good t'see y'again, Raj an' Red."
Red Alert waved skittishly and Mirage nodded at her with a smile. HipHop heard a yell of her name and looked down. A curious little creature waved its arms at her. She knelt down and scooped it up gently in her servos.
It looked like a Cybertronian, and yet it was completely different. It was an organic in a bipedal mode and had two arms and two legs. It was covered in some sort of outer shell that seemed flexible when she poked it. Over its outer shell, some sort of cloth fit its body snugly. The top of its head had short dark brown strands of dead protein cells (What the frag?) sticking up from it. She shook her helm and greeted the small creature.
"Wassup, lil' buddy?"
"My name is Major Will Lennox, human commander of NEST."
"Human. Is that what y'all lil' organics are?" HipHop asked.
"Yes, we are the dominant species of this planet."
"Somehow Ah thought y'all would be, Ah dunno, taller."
Will laughed and grinned at the cheeky femme. "Somehow I knew one of you guys were going to say that one day. Anyways, Prime will give you the Autobot-Earth treaty and you can start off your duties. What is your rank?"
"Ah'm a commanding officer under 'Lita-One, the Supreme commander o'th'femme division, and head of the femme Special Ops."
"Looks like you'll be rubbing elbows with Jazz," Lennox observed.
"We're used t'it. Jazz is mah older bro," HipHop explained.
"I never knew Jazz had a sister," Lennox remarked.
"Yeah, it was purposeful so Ah could get through th'Special Ops Academy wit'out suspicion. 'Xcuse meh a second. Ah need t'find Ratchet." HipHop put the man down, transformed into her alt. form, and rolled away to the med bay.
She nearly flew through the base, gracefully evading humans and other bots. Reaching the med bay, she went back into her bipedal mode and knocked.
"GO AWAY SUNSTREAKER! I AM NOT FIXING ANOTHER DENT, PRIMUS DAMN IT!"
"Whoa, Doc, its jus' meh, HipHop. Ah came t'see how mah bro was doing." HipHop hid a snicker. She knew how Sunny was when he got dented or scratched. Ratchet stuck his head out of the door and looked at HipHop.
"I'm almost done with the general repairs. Your transfusion saved him. I reclosed his ruptured cables, set and soldered any broken struts, and reshaped his armor. He should online from stasis soon. However he will be put of commission for a few days. And so help me, if he tries to get up before then..." Ratchet trailed off, stroking his wrench almost lovingly. HipHop bit her lip plate with her denta in an attempt not to start busting out laughing.
"A'ight, jus' wanted t'make sure mah bro was ok. Thanks Doc bot!"
The turquoise femme began walking throughout the base, setting aside important locations in her memory files for future reference. She stopped at the offices and headed in. She stepped into Jazz's office and checked it out. It was reminiscent of Cybertron. A large desk, a comfortable chair, an energon dispenser, a large stack of datapads, both empty and full; it all reminded her of her office back on the ship.
"Excuse me, but what are you doing here?" A smooth, but almost emotionless, voice interrupted her thoughts. The voice made the energon in her run cold. HipHop whirled around, claws extended. There in front of her stood a tall mech with black and white armor, the labels on his legs suggested his alt mode was a police car. A red chevron was visible on his helm and guarded blue optics stared cautiously back at her. Said blue optics caused her to cycle her vents in relief and she retracted her blades.
"Mah apologies, Ah thought y'were another mech. Name's HipHop! Ah'm Jazz's younger sister. Ah jus' touched down today an' was assigned t'share Special Ops command wit' mah bro. May Ah ask who y'are?"
The mech nodded quietly. "My name is Prowl. I am the second in command and chief tactician."
HipHop smiled in recognition. "Yeah, Ah remember ya, sah. Mah bro would tell meh 'bout 'is day an' he told meh all 'bout y'mechs. He especially liked workin' wit' y', Prowl, sah."
She cycled her vents again and sat at the edge of Jazz's desk, placing her servos in her lap.
"Ah'm not sure if y'heard this, sah, but Jazz got hurt t'day. Ah'll b'taking over 'is duties 'till he can make 'is return. Jus' thought y'ld like t'know, sah."
HipHop was silent for a moment. The worry and guilt about her brother's injuries was eating her up as she knew that it could have been her in Ratchet's med-bay. Shaking her helm, HipHop hopped down and saluted Prowl.
"Permission t'head out, sah?" the femme asked. Prowl was impressed. She wasn't disrespectful like the Lambo twins, but she seemed lively.
"Permission granted."
"Thank ya, sah!" With a bright smile, she saluted again and walked out.
The corners of Prowl's lip plates curved up slightly. Jazz's sister was amusing, but respectful. However, his browplate furrowed as he thought about her initial reaction to him before she saw his optics.
'Could she have met...? No, it's simply illogical.' He walked back into his office, groaning inwardly at large stack of datapads waiting for him on his desk.
HipHop walked along quietly. He looked like, like...NO!
'NO! Ah am not thinking 'bout that carrier-fragging sparklin' o' a glitch!' her processor screamed. Suddenly, she bumped into a mech. She began to fall.
Realizing that she could kill several unsuspecting humans, HipHop arched her spinal strut and landed on her servos. She lifted her legs in a handstand and arched again carefully landing on her pedes. Pushing off her servos, she straightened up.
"Sorry for bumping inta ya, miss. I'm really sorry about tha- HIPHOP!" An army green mech crushed her to his chest in an enthusiastic embrace.
"Wait, Hound? Primus, where th'frag have y'been? Ah haven't seen y' fo' ages!" she replied, returning the hug.
"Pedeball buds for four vorns running, how the frag did we lose contact?"
"Ah dunno, we jus' did. Mech, it's great t'see y'again! So, what've y'been doing?"
Hound grabbed the small femme in a headlock and roughly rubbed her helm affectionately. "I'm a scout for the Autobots. You know me and nature."
HipHop slammed her fist into a weak part in his armor that she remembered from years past. The moment Hound flinched, she grabbed his arm and twisted it behind his back.
"Yeah, th'two o'ya should fragging well sparkbond, since y'guys spend so much time t'gether." HipHop retorted. Hound laughed and almost gracefully wrenched his arm away from her hold.
"Nice moves, Songbird."
"Y'as well, Big Dog."
The two friends walked off, reminiscing of past times and old friends.
"Mech, pedeball was boring wit'out y'an' th'gang. Th'year y'all graduated, almost all o'th'team was gone. Ah quit after that. It jus' wasn't th'same."
"Sorry about that. Well, I applied to be a scout, since I would be closer to nature. Turned out I was a natural. Pit, they even gave me a hologram projector to further my scouting skills."
Hound patted the attachment on his shoulder. "So, I'm pretty cool with my position. How about you?"
"Ah joined th'femme Special Ops 'Cadamy. Ah worked under 'Lita-One an' slowly got up t'being head over th'whole femme Special Ops division."
"Damn, HipHop! When you get around, you get around."
"Yeah, Ah wanted t'b'in a job that Ah liked an' spying had that risky edge that Ah always l i-"
HipHop bumped into another mech and began falling, again. This time, the red firetruck grabbed her servo and hoisted her up.
"Sorry, miss. Didn't see ya there." A warm voice with a slight Southern twang apologized.
"No 'arm done an' I'm online, so y're fine."
HipHop smiled and stuck her servo out to the mech in front of her.
"Designation's HipHop. Y'r's?"
"Name's Inferno. Ya new 'round here?" he asked politely as he shook the femme's servo.
"Yep, jus' touched down t'day." Seeing a flashing warning that she was low on fuel, HipHop began to walk away.
"How 'bout we finish this over some energon? Ah'm starvin'."
Hound assented and Inferno nodded. The odd three walked down the hall, talking about Cybertron, Academy days, and the war.
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