Disclaimer: We don't own anything by JK Rowling.
Special Note: As weird as it sounds now, THIS IS NOT A TROLL. Oh yes, it's written from the bottom of our hearts. It started as a troll. And then it became something else.

we just don't like mary sues, that's all : ).

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Someone opened the door, and Snape turned around, his flawless cape, billowing in the wind. He and Lupin gasped as they saw a girl. She had long black hair with red highlights, with her two lighting scars on her head, but it was done in a way that it looked like it was really flashing, and it was very attractive and hot and not ugly at all.

Her skirt was short, but not too short because she isn't a slut like Pansy and her breasts were big but not to big, but the right size and beautiful shaped. She was skinny, but not like she was anorexic, she was just naturally skinny. Her nails looked like she had a french manicure, but she didn't have one because she lived in a cupboard under the stairs just like her brother. She didn't wear her Hogwarts uniform because she had special permission and instead wore a skirt, ambercrombie and finch stuff, channel stuff, American Eagle brands sticking on everywhere, making her even more beautiful than she already was. Everything she wore was flawless.

Lupin was staring at her, and couldn't believe his beautiful soulful eyes. Forgetting for a moment about how he and Sirius were together, because as everyone knows they were totally together because they were friends and they couldn't be with James because he's married to Lily, and Peter is fat. Snape couldn't believe his eyes. She was more beautiful than a tulip fairy, and with his magical contacts that made his eyes a sparkling blue, he could see her invisible fairy/angel/devil/veela/unicorn/dryad/thestral/mermaid/phoenix wings.

"Hello" said the girl, with a shy smile "I'm Serena Bellflower Porland Costco Malfoy Merlin Moonshine Sundrop Potter. I'm Harry's long lost sister from America" she bowed her head and said "Go-men Nessay for interrupting your class"

Snape was bewildered, his mind not comprehending this beautiful and perfect girl in his classroom. "How do you know Japanese?"

She blushed and said "I learned it from my Mom. She's Japanese"

"that explains it" said snape, forgetting that Lily was her mother. Lupin said "How about we go to the teacher's lounge and talk some more there?" "sounds like a good idea" said Serena and she grabbed Snape's hand and walked out the classroom with him.

Snape couldn't comprehend this beautiful and perfect girl, she was sexy enough to get through his sexyfine line! She must be perfect he said, as he walked, his hair flowing in a black sea of perfection behind him.

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"What do we do now?" asked a Hufflepuff

"I'm not sure... do you feel like ... you were dreaming?" asked her friend beside her? A murmur of agreement rose from the class. One of the Ravenclaws stood up "I think I know what happened. Someone did a dark ritual. The Bad Prose ritual along with the Dark Summoning ritual."

"Oh noes deos tish maen we haev the bd speeling curse?"

"Yes" said the ravenclaw, who's name was Brahms Veradin, first in his class, who was attractive enought to get through snapes's sexyfine line. The hufflepuff, Rebecca Sunchild blushed with a nice colour that was beautiful on her and matched her dress... I mean uniform. She was beautiful (but not beautiful enought to surpass Serena) and was asked out by all the boys except Brahms. She had a secret crush on him, and had a secret herself, SHE WAS AN ANIMAGUS!

No one asked why Albus Dumbledore was still in the classroom swearing and rapping.