REMEMBRANCE CHAPTER TWO by Chapin
The Characters, places and situations of Doc Martin are owned by Buffalo Pictures. This story makes no claim of remuneration or ownership, nor do I make any attempt to infringe upon any rights of the owners or producers.
Careful - there are spoilers for Season Six
Thank you for reading. I welcome your reviews and input.
CHAPTER TWO
"I love chocolate and strawberries."
"Mum, you love chocolate and anything. I am surprised you have not served us pickles dipped in chocolate. I guess you would have if Dad did not play the food governor."
"Well your dad has softened his ways. He hid my McVities once. Just once mind you. That brought on the fireworks."
We both enjoyed a good laugh over that and then Joan asked me, "OK Mum it didn't happen the first time. What happened to make it work? You did have a wedding!"
"Well of course Joanie. The pictures are on the wall, aren't they? But I'll tell you what happened. James happened. We might have just thrown it all over and thought it not worth the effort, but having a child changed everything. I will never forget the afternoon your father brought Auntie Joan to the hospital to see the baby.
I will never, never forget her words.
"He's the best mistake you two have ever made. So for goodness sake sort something out between the two of you to give this little lad the family he deserves. Otherwise I shall just have to knock your two heads together."
Suddenly the muscles in my tear ducts became involuntary and began releasing their contents onto my cheeks. Perhaps it was bringing our sweet Aunt Joan to mind. What I really knew it to be was the overwhelming visceral response of my whole being to the thought of all we could have missed. The warmth of that spring day in Paris could not prevent a palpable chill from coursing through my body.
"Mummy. I'm sorry. I really am."
"It's fine Sweetheart. We did make it to the altar and way beyond, didn't we?
And you know what? It wasn't because we had to. It was because we wanted to. We did love each other. We deeply wanted James to have a mum and a dad together, really together, not just living in the same house.
"Don't get the idea everything came up roses. That first year was so hard, but we managed it and it became easier. We did not have some weird conversion. Your father can still crawl inside himself and clam up and I can be obstinate and overreact. We had to have some basic understandings. I don't know why storms arise more at night, but they do. Your dad was perfectly capable of going to sleep right in the middle of an argument and awaken as if nothing had happened. And me, I am lying on a bed of potatoes and not able to sleep. I insisted that no one sleeps until there is a basic settling of the issue or mutually laying it to rest, agreeing to talk about it again. It became a firm rule. That one understanding has helped us more than you can ever imagine. You know of course that many a night I have to tell your dad that we are not going to sleep yet."
"Mum, how in the world did you ever get together? Seems like if you were magnets, you repelled more than attracted."
"Well, sweetheart, I can't explain it, but there was a spark, a really strong attraction. Because of that, we went through all the emotions that people with smooth courtships go through. That fire between us made us miserable when we were apart and jealous of the thought of the other being with anyone else. And when we were together Martin would say, "I don't understand you," and I would often say, "Why do you do that?" after he did something to totally offend me.
"You have to understand, your dad and I brought more suppressed emotional baggage into our relationship than will fit in the boot of his big car. You don't know the whole story but you know enough to know that it is true. This cafe does not have enough desserts to get us through all that story this afternoon, or to endure a vision of Dad's raised eyebrows if we tried. Look Joanie, know that I have never doubted your father's love and care. And I want to assure you he has never had a reason to doubt mine for him.
"One of the hardest challenges in life is for two people to learn to live and love together day in and day out for a lifetime. It's really hard, but Joanie, it is worth it, because it's one of the most wonderful gifts in life to be with someone like your dad. Sure things happened that could have caused us to consider divorce. They happen in every relationship. Your parents are flawed in many ways, far from perfect, except for one thing. Your dad is perfect for me and he told me once that I was perfect for him. I was having a low time of insecurity and your dad said,'Louisa, there may be many perfect women in this world, but you're the only one who is perfect for me.'"
"Dad really said that?"
"Yes. Yes he did. I know his mind can short-circuit and he can come out with hurtful or embarrassing comments. But there are three times your father can actually say what's on his heart. One is when he is under emotional stress. Two is when he has had a good bit of wine. And, believe it or not, three is when he picks up his pen and writes. His written words are amazing at expressing what his tongue cannot get out. I've never thrown away the letters and poems he has written me."
"Poems?"
"Yes, Joanie, poems!"
And warmth returned to our spring day as I recalled his words,
I awoke one day
Not to the eastern sun
But to your presence
That filled forever my empty night