Chapter 2: In Between the Words

Renji perched silently on a large, cracked boulder that stood just outside the wooden gate that led into the less developed section of the Kuchiki Estate, his cinnamon colored eyes scanning the darkened trail and forest, just outside of the main grounds. He found it somewhat eerily quiet, as though the creatures, themselves, who lived in the somewhat wilder areas were aware that the shadows were still unsafe and were going out of the way to be quiet, leaving only the soft, occasional swooshing of the gentle breezes that moved through the branches of the trees. Renji added an occasional lightly audible yawn as the night began to give way to early morning. He heard soft footsteps approaching from within the gardens and recognized both the sound and the light, sweet scent that differed somewhat from Byakuya's, and offered his taicho's cousin a warm smile of greeting.

"Hey, Tetsuya."

"Good evening, Renji-san," Tetsuya answered softly, his blue eyes studying the area for a moment, then returning to Renji's, "Or, I should say, good morning."

"Right," Renji chuckled, "So, did you actually get any sleep or did you spend all night healing everyone?"

"I did a fair amount of healing," Tetsuya admitted, sitting down next to Renji on the boulder as he scooted aside to make room, "But I slept some as well."

He paused and brushed a bit of dust from his house guard's uniform.

"The quincy soldier, Bazz-B, may wake soon."

"You uh...think so?" Renji asked, looking away for a moment.

"He was moving more in his sleep and mumbled a little, like he was trying to respond when I spoke to him."

"That's good. It's a damned sight better than he was when we brought him here," Renji observed.

"Yes, but it does bring about the question on some people's minds about what happens next."

"Yeah."

Renji's eyes slid shut and he let out an unhappy sigh.

"Well, there hasn't been an order from Central 46 yet," Tetsuya said hopefully.

"No," Renji agreed, looking back at him, "but you know there probably will be, at some point."

Tetsuya nodded.

"As much as the council agreed to pardon Uryu-san because they agreed he was forced to remain at Bach's side because of Bach's strange powers, Officer Bazz-B entered the ranks of the Sternritters of his own volition. And he willfully attacked and killed shinigamis in the opening battles of the war. Even though he mitigated that by assisting the taichos in reaching the royal realm, he never claimed to be a friend or true ally to us."

"Yeah, that's true," Renji agreed, "but on the other hand, he was witnessed saying that he had no grudge against us. He was just following orders. He also didn't attack us or betray us in any way after we worked together to reach the palace. It's something, I guess."

Renji looked down at the beaten dirt path.

"What do you think they'll do to him?"

Tetsuya considered the question, letting his eyes scan the forest again.

"I'm not sure. I think it depends on the outcome of the others' trials. Central 46 will be deciding the fates of several of Officer Bazz-B's comrades within the next few days. I am pretty sure they will incarcerate the two elite sternritters in Muken. But the others whose powers were taken back by Bach have a murky future. The council did agree to let the quincy civilians, along with the surviving soldats, return to their exile within the shadows. They will either allow the remaining regular officers go as well, or if they think that's too dangerous, they may simply confine them to the Maggot's Nest."

Renji sighed and shook his head.

"That would stink," he commented, "not much of a life there."

"But it is better than a death sentence or confinement in the Central 46 prison," Tetsuya offered.

"Yeah," Renji agreed, kicking absently at a pale stone that was lodged in the ground in front of him.

The two were quiet for several minutes, their eyes searching the area around them.

"So, what's up with you and Uryu?" Renji asked, smirking, "You've been spending a lot of time with him."

"He was seriously injured," Tetsuya answered matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, but I noticed you've stopped calling him Ishida-san."

"We have gotten to know each other a little while he was recovering," Tetsuya said, looking up at the fading stars, "It's certainly acceptable under the circumstances."

"Hey, I didn't say anything," Renji chuckled, looking up as a tall, dark, equine figure approached, moving at a leisurely pace along the trail, "Just noticed the change there, that's all."

"Hmmm."

The approaching stallion reached the two and nuzzled Tetsuya's cheek, earning a smile of greeting and a horse treat his master retrieved from a pocket within his uniform.

"What's up, fleabag?" Renji asked, smirking.

The black Arabian looked back at Renji through narrowed blue eyes that mirrored his master's and huffed indignantly.

Everything seems quiet, the stallion's wispy voice spoke into their minds, but I feel eyes watching.

"It's to be expected on some level," Tetsuya concluded, his lips uncharacteristically frowning, "because we did defeat the quincies. But as long as they remain in the shadows, we have no way to reach them, even if we wanted to."

"Still, it's a little creepy those guys can watch us like that," Renji commented.

"They can watch us," Tetsuya agreed, "but they can't re-enter the Seireitei without us knowing. Our defenses have improved greatly in that respect."

"A good thing too."

Master, if there is nothing else, I will go out to the meadow to graze.

"I'm pretty hungry myself," said Renji, "but I think I'm more tired than hungry right now."

"Go on, Arashi," Tetsuya said, giving the horse a gentle pat on the shoulder, "You should go too, Renji-san. I can take over the watch now."

"Sounds good to me," Renji yawned, "Take it easy."

"You also."

Renji lifted himself off of the boulder and stretched, then turned and passed through the gate and into the awakening gardens.

Man, Taicho's staff has worked a miracle, he thought, observing the new patches of growing grass, the repaired koi pond and the replanted bushes and flowers, It'll be a while before it's back to normal, but it looks great compared to the wreck it was just a day or so ago.

He reached the set of one story buildings and turned away from the main wing, into one of the guest wings that had been converted into an infirmary. The guard outside Bazz-B's room looked up and smiled in greeting as Renji approached.

"Good morning Abarai fukutaicho. May I help you, sir?"

"I'm just checking the condition of the prisoner," Renji explained.

"Of course. Go on in, sir."

Renji entered the darkened room, flinching uncomfortably at the scents of sterilizing agents that had been used to clean it. He let his eyes adjust, then moved to the side of the unconscious quincy, taking a seat in the chair set beside the bed. He studied the quincy's pale face and discomfited expression and sighed, remembering.

He crept along the palace wall, watching carefully and keeping his senses extended. He could feel that someone powerful had been there recently, but no one appeared as he moved forward. He rounded a corner and inhaled sharply in surprise as he spotted a collapsed white clad figure, just ahead of him. He looked first, scanning the area cautiously before stepping out into the open and moving to the fallen quincy's side. A soft jolt moved through his insides as he recognized the flash of red hair and the glove on the one hand that hadn't been lost in battle.

"Bazz-B," he whispered numbly, dropping onto his knees next to the quincy.

He turned the quincy soldier onto his back, surveying his wounds and swiftly flooding the slashes with healing reiatsu.

"Damn it, Bazz-B, what the hell happened to you?"

He made an exclamation of surprise as the injured quincy shifted and groaned.

"J-ju-go," he mumbled deliriously, "D-don't g-go...you b-bastard..."

"Jugo," Renji repeated, "Is that the name of the guy who did this to you?"

Bazz-B groaned again, but gave no answer.

"Whoever did it was a fucking monster," Renji said, a sick feeling afflicting him as he continued the healing.

"Ugh," Bazz-B grunted, leaking a thin line of blood from between his lips as he tried to move.

"Hey, hold still," Renji warned him, "I'm not done stabilizing you."

He froze at the pain in Bazz-B's eyes as they opened and struggled to focus on him.

"G-go away," he managed, pushing weakly at Renji's extended hands, "J-just fuck off and let me d-die, okay?"

"Shut up," Renji chided him, "I'm not going to sit here and watch you die."

"Pfft..." Bazz-B panted, squinting up at him, "Oh, it's y-you, R-red."

"That's Renji, asshole," Renji said, continuing the healing infusion, "Hold still, okay? You're a fucking mess, here."

He stiffened at the intensity of pain in Bazz-B's eyes as they looked up into his.

"D-didn't you h-hear me? L-leave me alone! It's over. Y-you know what's gonna happen to m-me anyway. J-just..."

"I said shut up," Renji said, his voice faltering slightly as the quincy quivered and lost consciousness again, "Let me take care of you."

Renji leaned forward in his chair and briefly examined the bandages on Bazz-B's resting body, then he sighed and sat back, rubbing his hands over his face.

I wonder if I did the right thing.

He's going to be pretty pissed off at me when he wakes up.

I don't exactly blame him either.

I'd be mad too.

XXXXXXXXXX

Ichigo sensed light beginning to return to the room he laid in and opened his eyes. The chair next to the bed stood empty, but he turned his head and sighted Byakuya's pale and softly glowing form stretched out on the smaller bed in the attendant's recess. Dressed in white and comfortably entangled in the light colored bedding, his sleeping face radiated quiet peace.

He's really beautiful. I've always thought that, even when he was my enemy.

He thought back to the night before.

He didn't say a lot when I kissed him, but he didn't look angry either. He looked kinda surprised. Then, he got quiet. I wonder if I should have done that. Not that I really thought about what I was doing. It just kind of happened. I'm not sorry, though.

He watched for a few more minutes as Byakuya slept, then moved experimentally. Instantly, slivers of pain shot through his shoulders, back, arms and legs, dragging a pained grunt from deep in his chest. He dropped back onto the pillows, panting softly and feeling sweat break out on his skin. There was a breath of hesitation, then Byakuya's voice sounded from across the room.

"I did tell you that you would be sore this morning."

"Yeah, you did," Ichigo agreed ruefully.

Byakuya extracted himself from the soft bedding and sat up, his hands moving quickly to move the ends of his yukata to better cover himself.

"You can get up now, if you wish, but move slowly," he advised Ichigo, "Was there something you wanted?"

"Not really," Ichigo grunted, moving more slowly to a seated position as Byakuya returned to the chair by the bed, "Hey, you don't have to get up yet. You were up half the night with me."

"I have managed on less sleep."

Ichigo watched silently for a few minutes as Byakuya infused his sore muscles with healing reiatsu.

"So, are you going to say something?" he asked finally.

Byakuya's eyes registered comprehension of the question, but he hesitated, bending closer and working his fingers into a stubborn area of Ichigo's lower back. Ichigo gave a pained hiss, then went quiet again, waiting for an answer.

"What do you want me to say?" he asked, "You kissed me and I admitted I didn't just accept it. I kissed you back. I think neither of us was in a state of mind to understand it at the time."

"Do you regret it?" Ichigo asked, deflating slightly.

"No."

"Then, what's the problem? Because I can see there's a problem. Is it that I'm part human? That I'm part quincy? That the clan I belong to was banished before? It's been..."

"I am aware," Byakuya said, stopping him, "And believe me when I tell you that it's none of those things."

He lifted his eyes to meet Ichigo's and Ichigo read the conflicted look in them.

"Then, what is it? Can you please just tell me? Because, from what I felt, you liked kissing me."

"Yes, I did."

"But you've been quiet ever since, like something's bothering you. Can you just tell me what it is?"

Byakuya sighed and looked down to where his hands continued to work at healing him.

"I don't want to make you angry, especially when you are still healing."

"So, you don't want to get involved with me?"

"I did not say that."

"Then, what are you saying? Can't we talk about this?" Ichigo asked, his voice rising.

"Are you sure you want to do this now?"

"Yeah, it's bugging the hell out of me."

"That hadn't escaped me," Byakuya sighed.

"Look, will you just tell me what the problem is? Maybe, whatever it is, we can work around it."

"I don't know," Byakuya confessed, "It is complicated, Ichigo."

"Complicated how?"

Byakuya bit his lip gently, considering his words carefully.

"First, let me be perfectly clear. I am attracted to you," he admitted.

"Good," Ichigo said in a cautiously optimistic tone, "Then, we feel the same."

"Yes, as I told you, that is not the problem. And although you are part human, you are also part shinigami. I do not have problems accepting those parts of you. I have long accepted the hollow that is part of your powers...and even though it was a surprise, I don't think there is anything wrong with you being part quincy. You had nothing to say about it, and you have not made an allegiance to them. That you are related to the Shiba clan was unsettling to learn, mostly because of the behavior of your father and of Shiba Kaien in the past, not because of you."

"I can tell Kukaku gets on your nerves a little too," Ichigo said, managing a smile.

"Sometimes. But, despite their lack of adherence to clan procedure, they have proven their allegiance to the king."

"So, all of that's okay. You've said that. Tell me what's wrong," Ichigo said, more calmly.

"I am a clan leader."

"I know that. I know you have to take care of your family. You have duties you have to see to. I have my own too."

"Exactly," Byakuya agreed, "and as the newly named Shiba heir, there will be certain expectations placed on you. It will require a great deal of you to learn your place within your clan. And also, you will have an obligation to make sure that, not only is order kept for the time that you are heir, then leader, but also to make...provisions for the future."

"Yeah, I have to get married and have kids. That's what you're saying, right?"

"Yes. But it's more than that. Ichigo, usually clan leaders do not marry other clan's heirs or leaders because it tends to blur the lines between the clans, making things confusing, and if it goes too far, dangerous."

"How do you mean?" Ichigo asked, frowning.

"It complicates the choice of heirs for the clan, as well as mingling subfamilies so that negotiation is necessary to establish clear boundaries."

"Okay," Ichigo said softly, "so are you telling me that you don't want to even try? Is that what you're saying, Byakuya?"

"I don't know," Byakuya answered, looking into his eyes, "I want to try, but I don't want the price to be a break in our clans' relations."

"And why would that be a problem? You think Dad and Kukaku can't be reasonable? Is it because we can't have kids together? What?"

He paused, reading the curious look that had come into Byakuya's eyes.

"What's that look?"

"They haven't told you?" Byakuya asked, looking surprised.

"Told me what? What are you talking about?"

Byakuya hesitated, tilting his head back slightly and taking a steadying breath.

"Because of something that happened a long time ago, some noble males are able to impregnate other males or to be impregnated themselves."

Ichigo's eyes widened.

"Wh-what was that?" he asked, looking as though he couldn't quite believe what he'd heard, "Guys who can have kids, really?"

"Yes."

Ichigo paused for a moment, digesting the words.

"You can do that?" he asked, when he could speak again.

"Yes."

Another long moment of silence passed between the two.

"So, you're not just thinking about dating," Ichigo concluded, "You're thinking about marrying me and making babies?"

"I have to think that way, Ichigo, and as you have become an heir, you will learn that you have to think that way too. It is part of our responsibility to protect and pass on the greater powers that are gifted to our families. I don't know if you are ready for such a reality."

Ichigo realized suddenly that his fingers were clenching the bedding and loosened them.

"It is a lot to think about," he admitted.

He looked past where Byakuya sat and into the brightening gardens.

"Can you tell me how guys became able to have babies?" he asked, steering away from the precipice he sensed they were approaching.

Byakuya nodded.

"After the first war with the quincies, the clans were left with too few women and children and the leaders were faced with the choice of pairing their pureblooded sons and daughters with peasants or members of mixed blood. Neither was considered acceptable at the time. I've told you about Tetsuya's history."

"That his family was captured and held in an illegal prison for mixed-bloods, yeah."

"The prejudice against them was even worse back then, especially considering the conflict the families had endured. Letting in outsiders was a dangerous idea to them, and peasants were considered outsiders. But one of the elders discovered a way to alter some males so that they could carry a child."

"Huh..."

"Everyone agreed, the times called for desperate measures. So, the first Breeder males were made and the clans were quickly repopulated. As the numbers of women increased, the clan leaders began to discourage the Breeder males from having any more children. And when it was discovered that their ability was being passed on to their male children, they were ordered to cease having children altogether. There was resistance to this, and it ended with violence that broke out and nearly destroyed the population of Breeder males. Some few survived and the ability was secreted in some sects of the families. In my own, Tetsuya and I inherited that ability, although it is not spoken of and only used as a last resort."

"So, we could have the babies the clan wants, but they wouldn't really be happy with that since they don't like Breeder males?"

"Yes."

Ichigo smiled.

"Well, I'm not ready to make decisions about marriage and babies, but they're going to be hounding me about it anyway, right?"

"Most probably, as soon as the dust from the war has settled," Byakuya confirmed.

"So, putting it off is probably not an option. And my choices will be pick someone myself or let those old guys do the picking. And if they pick, you're saying they wouldn't choose you, or approve if I did?"

"Yes."

"Well, as much as I know I need to step up for my clan and lead someday, I'm sure as hell not going to give up everything, so...when the dust settles and they start pushing me to get married, I'm going to ask you."

"Even knowing that it will cause friction?"

Byakuya let out an exasperated huff of breath.

"I forgot for a moment who I was talking to. Of course you will."

"And what will you say when I ask you?"

Byakuya gazed back at him breathlessly, his mind playing out all of his worries. But as much as they seemed like mountains to scale, he found the truth all too clear to him. He slipped his hands into Ichigo's and answered as honestly as he could.

"I will want to say yes, but I don't know if I can. I just don't know if upsetting the balance between our clans would be advisable so soon after the war."

Ichigo let out a long breath and started to climb out of bed.

"What are you doing? You're still healing," Byakuya objected.

"I can heal at home," Ichigo said shortly, "I've been here bothering you long enough."

"You don't bother me."

"I do. I make you uncomfortable because I want something you don't."

"That's not what I said!" Byakuya insisted, "I only said that I didn't know what my answer would be. I don't know, Ichigo. You asked me to be honest with you."

"Yeah, I did. You gave me your answer, now I'm giving you mine. I'm leaving."

"Ichigo, don't be angry with me. I wasn't meaning to insult you or to deny either of our feelings about this."

Ichigo glared down at him, then walked to the doorway.

"I guess I should have expected that you would look out for your clan first and yourself later. You always do."

Byakuya's hands trembled slightly where he held them hidden in his lap.

"Is that wrong?"

"Why don't you tell me?" Ichigo said angrily, "Obviously, for a clan heir, I don't know anything!"

"Ichigo!"

A hissing flash step sounded and Byakuya found himself alone and staring at the open doorway. He took a stinging breath and closed his eyes to steady himself.

"Byakuya-sama?" his attendant's voice intoned, bringing him out of the haze he had gone into, "Officer Bazz-B is awake."

"Thank you, Torio," he answered numbly, "Will you please prepare my uniform?"

"Of course, sir."

Byakuya stood and felt a twinge of surprise at finding that his legs too, were shaking softly. He took a deeper breath, steeling himself, and moved into the dressing area, where Torio was waiting for him.

This is only short-term pain. It will hurt and make things awkward for a while, but once Ichigo settles into leadership and learns his role, he will understand and then, perhaps, he will forgive me.

Leadership is full of painful sacrifices. I have always known that.