It had been a month since Tom's first therapy session and frankly, Bill was as confused as hell. One minute Tom would be nice and almost clingy, wanting to stay around his baby brother, always touching him, whether it be his hand or his shoulder or his knee, and then the next minute the guitarist seemed like he wanted nothing to do with the ebony haired male, keeping at least a few feet between them.
Right then, Tom was in one of his clingy moods, his arm draped around the younger male's shoulders as they watched a random show on TV. It was around eleven at night and the singer was almost asleep, leaning against his twin's side with his head resting on the other male's shoulder. After a few moments the dreadlocked male slowly fell asleep. The guitarist looked down at him and smiled softly, kissing the top of his head before resuming watching television.
The next day, Tom was avoiding Bill, and it was starting to hurt the singer.
"Tomi, can we talk?" Bill asked, pushing ebony dreadlocks out of his kohl-lined eyes as he looked over at his twin.
The older male didn't even glance up from the guitar positioned in his lap. He didn't answer, ignoring his younger brother while continuing to strum an unknown tune.
The singer frowned. "Tom?"
The guitarist stayed silent.
Bill's frown deepened and he sighed. "Fine. Come talk to me when you stop being such a bastard." He mumbled and walked up to his room.
Hours passed and the older twin hadn't so much as moved from the living room. The dreadlocked male sat in his room, wiping kohl-tinted tear tracks off of his flushed cheeks with a damp cloth. He removed the rest of his makeup and sniffled. After taking a few minutes to compose himself, he got up and walked down to the living room.
"Tom?"
Tom, who had started to watch TV, continued to ignore his baby brother, seemingly lost in thought.
"Damn it, Tom, would it kill you to look at me?!"
'Yes.' The guitarist thought, glancing at his beautiful twin. His breath caught in his throat when he found that the younger male removed his makeup, which he had always thought made the singer look even prettier. A frown crossed over his face once he noticed the tears gathering in the other male's honey brown eyes. "Hm?"
"Why are you avoiding me? Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry if I did, I didn't mean to." Bill said in a softer, almost heartbroken, tone.
Tom frowned. "You didn't do anything wrong."
"Then why are you avoiding me?"
"I. . .I can't tell you." The guitarist mumbled, still hesitating to let himself accept his feelings for the singer, let alone able to tell his twin what he feels for him.
"Why not? We tell each other everything." The singer said in a sad tone.
"I just can't, damn it, stop asking!" Tom said and quickly left the room.
Bill watched him leave, sniffling, and silently walked back into his bedroom, staying there for the rest of the day.
Tom walked to the therapist's office for one of his last sessions. He walked in, closing the door behind him, and sat down.
"David's been telling me that you have been avoiding Bill. Why?" The therapist asked curiously.
"I don't really know. I just feel weird around him, like I'm going to do. . .something. . .if I'm too close to him sometimes."
"Like you're going to do what?"
"I don't know."
"Kiss? Touch? Anything?"
The guitarist hesitated but nodded. "I feel like I want to kiss him and hold him and I don't know why." He mumbled, a faint blush rising on his cheeks.
"What else do you feel around him? Happiness? Do you get nervous around him?"
The cornrowed male nodded.
"Do you feel anything else?"
Tom shrugged, eyes downcast to the floor.
"You can tell me."
"I don't know."
"Do you like him more than you like any of the girls you've been with?"
"Of course, he means more than them."
"In what way?"
"I don't know."
The therapist nodded and scribbled a few notes onto a notepad. "We only have one more session, which will be in a few weeks."
Tom nodded his acknowledgement and walked out quietly.
Once home, Tom looked around, not seeing any sign of his baby brother. "Bill?" He called, walking into the main room. "Billa?" He walked into the kitchen before finally walking up to the singer's bedroom. He knocked on the door quietly. "Bibi?" He asked quietly.
"Gehen Sie weg." Bill mumbled, wiping at his eyes futilely.
"Maüschen, what's wrong?" Tom asked as he walked into the room, ignoring his twin's weak protests.
"Nothin'." The singer mumbled as he turned away from the guitarist.
"Billa, don't lie to me." The older male said quietly and sat down next to his twin, turning the other male to him. "Why're you crying?"
"It's not like you'd care." Bill mumbled, avoiding his twin's worried gaze.
"Of course I'd care, Billa." Tom said, frowning.
"Stop lying!" The younger male said and moved away from the other male.
"But I'm not!"
"Like hell you aren't! I can't remember a time when you cared about me!" Bill said and quickly walked out.
"Bill, what the hell's up with you?" The guitarist asked as he followed his twin.
"You're what's up with me!" Bill replied angrily and snatched his car keys off a small table.
"Where're you going?"
"Anywhere away from you!"
Tom followed his twin up to the point where the singer got into his car. "Bill-"
"Nein! Kein Gespräch!" The dreadlocked male said and drove off.
The guitarist frowned deeply and walked back inside the house. He flopped onto the couch and turned on the television.
Hours later he woke up, having fallen asleep a good four hours ago, a white-hot pain flashing through his chest and head which had caused him to wake up in the first place. He gasped, shooting up into a sitting position as he held his head in his hands. Once the pain passed, he slowly uncurled himself from the ball he ended up forming and tiredly rubbed at his eyes so he could focus on whatever was on the television. His eyes widened when he saw a car, looking extremely similar to Bill's, overturned and completely totaled. He felt his heart stop, dread washing over him as he saw the caption – 'Bill Kaulitz of Tokio Hotel caught in lethal car crash'.
"Bill!"
Translations –
"Gehen Sie weg." – 'Go away.' in German
"Maüschen." - 'Little mouse' in German
"Nein! Kein Gespräch!" - 'No! No talking!' in German
Sorry if any of these are wrong, I got them off of a translator.