A Little Less Conversation

It had been a long time since Chase had been in a hospital as nothing more than a member of the family. For that matter, it had been a long time since he had been a member of a family. Even now, sitting in a waiting room felt foreign to him.

Before he became a doctor, he was accustomed to being the in the patient's room, sitting in the perpetually uncomfortable chair or maybe trying to take a nap on the equally uncomfortable couch built for two. Hospital room furniture was always vinyl and always the most hideous colors imaginable--rusty orange, mossy green, or even dull turquoise. He had come to the conclusion long ago that unattractive colors were, in fact, cheaper to mass produce than more aesthetically pleasing ones. Those were the kind of things that one pondered when intelligent thoughts had ceased under the strain of fatigue.

The waiting room here was much nicer than most of the patient rooms where he had found himself whiling away hours in his youth. He fell into his thoughts, remembering his mother and the toll her addiction took on her body. She had been quite frail toward the end of her life. Mercifully, she had slept a lot during that time. He could see her even now, her head resting on a thin pillow, her upper body slightly elevated by the bed. There was always an IV of something, cords dangling and tangling when she moved, setting off sensor alarms. There was no telling how many times he had moved her arm to straighten it or how many times he had silenced the alarm after a nurse had shown him how to do so.

He remembered the hours he spent studying by her bedside, reading, marking his textbooks, scribbling notes. He remembered polite conversations with nurses who pretended to be interested in his schoolwork, all the while probably pitying him for being stuck alone with a dying drunk for a mother.

He had always liked nurses and they had always liked him. When his mother took him as a child to visit Rowan, the nurses had treated him like a miniature member of the royal family. It never failed that someone would "kidnap" him from his mother. There were always treats, lollipops or small pieces of chocolate; and there were always hugs, more hugs than he got at home. He recalled a nurse named Freda who had a habit of giving him change and taking him to a vending machine to pick out a candy bar.

Vending machines were as much a hospital staple as the ugly furniture. Sometimes when he was sure his mother would be asleep for a while, he would wander down to the cafeteria for a meal, but he had eaten more than his share of suppers consisting of soda and peanut butter and crackers or salty chips. And then there was the coffee. Starbucks had nothing to rival the strength of coffee from a hospital vending machine. If someone was unaccustomed to caffeine, consumption of a single cup could leave him twitching.

He smiled as a more recent memory came to him. He thought of Cameron's hot chocolate warning and her confession of having an eight year old grab her ass. Things had changed so much since then.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

Chase looked up to see Ellen.

She had been coming and going from Meggie's maternity suite, switching places with Cameron every so often since only two family members were allowed in the room at any time. Nick had not left his wife's side. Now that Meggie was in hard labor, Ellen thought it would be best to leave her youngest daughter in the care of her oldest daughter just in case something went wrong.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked.

He shrugged, "Hospitals. How's Meggie?"

"Doing okay, all things considered." She sat next to him. "So, are you comparing St. Dominic's to Princeton Plainsboro?" she asked.

"No," he answered. "I just realized I've spent a lot--most--of my life in hospitals."

"I guess we all start to feel that way about our jobs sometimes," she laughed.

"Yeah," he agreed.

"Oh," Ellen said, remembering that Alison told her his mother had died when he was young. "I bet you were talking about your mom."

He nodded. "And my dad. He was a doctor too, so sometimes we would go see him while he was working." He laughed, or attempted to anyway, not that anything was funny. "I guess I really can't remember there ever not being a hospital to go to for some reason or another."

"Allison told me your mom died when you were in your teens. I can't imagine losing my mom or dad so early."

Chase nodded, unsure of how to respond to that. "I still miss her," he said after a long pause. It felt as if Ellen was waiting for him to expound on the story, but he really did not want to get into it with her. He would not even talk about his mother's long road to death with his wife.

"Was she sick for a long time?" Ellen quizzed.

"Uh," Chase responded. As far back as he could remember, she had been an alcoholic, but she had been relatively healthy until the last five or so years of her life. In fact, the first major hospitalization came because she had pneumonia. Her body's defenses had been weakened by her drinking and her smoking so a simple cold turned into bronchitis which turned into pneumonia.

"I'm sorry," Ellen apologized. Chase had a deer in a headlights look if she had ever seen one. "I'm being nosy." She had chided Allison for the same behavior at Thanksgiving. It was clear where her daughter got her streak of curiosity.

"It's okay," Chase shrugged. He did not volunteer any more information.

Several minutes passed in uncomfortable silence. Ellen shifted nervously. "How long does this take?" she asked. "We've been here for hours."

"I'd answer, but since you've given birth three times to my never, I'm afraid you might hit me if I do."

"Ally told me you were smart," Ellen smiled.

Chase laughed, showing polite amusement. Making small talk with her was uncomfortable now, especially since he had dodged the question about his mother. He had always found it easier to talk to people if he thought there was a good chance that he would never see them again. Still, sitting with Ellen was probably the better alternative to being back in the suburbs surrounded by Parkers. If Herman's openness about his health was any indication, the family was probably full of people who liked to share details and Chase definitely would not fit in with them.

"Would you like some coffee? I could get us some," Chase suggested, longing for the comfort zone of cafeterias or vending machines. Coffee, he could handle. A heart-to-heart with someone who was a part of his new family, on the other hand… He feared she might think he was elusive or dishonest since he had all but refused to discuss his mother.

"I don't think my stomach could take anything right now," Ellen lamented. "I'm so glad Ally is here and that she can be in there with Meggie. Meggie was never as strong as her sister, you know."

"Allison has been through a lot," Chase said, not committing himself to a comparison of the girls. Their mother could get away with that. He was certain that he could not. And, given that he barely knew Meggie, he was in no position to judge her anyway.

"Ally is so much happier now that she has you. She was never really, truly happy with Mike. How could she be, knowing that he was going to die within a year? I never understood why she even put herself through that." Ellen said in a tone that Chase was certain Cameron had heard often while planning her first wedding.

"Love?" Chase offered.

"No one ever said love made sense," Ellen said, marveling that Chase could offer such an explanation without a hint of jealousy. It could not be easy to live up to an idealized version of a dead man and Ellen was sure that Allison would have a rose-colored memory of the man she had married. It was inevitable with her personality and the circumstances.

"I don't think it does," Chase told her. "It defies logic. That's why we give away our hearts and not our brains."

Ellen's countenance brightened. "I didn't know you were such a romantic."

Chase shrugged. "I'm just the guy in love with your daughter."

"The guy who's making her happy," Ellen added. "You're the best thing that's happened to her. And, for some reason, she's been more involved with her family since you came along. We barely saw her or heard from her for years, you know. Now I talk to her a couple of times a week and she e-mails and calls Meggie all the time too."

"It probably hurt," Chase said.

"What do you mean?"

"Sometimes when you see what other people have, it makes you think of what you haven't got and it hurts. It's not like you're trying to be self-absorbed, but you can't that help it reminds you that you're alone. Allison would never wish for Meggie to lose Nick, but seeing her with Nick must've reminded her of Michael. I understand that. Every time I see a teenage boy with his mother, it makes me miss my Mum and wonder what it would be like if she hadn't died."

Ellen patted his hand, "She must've been wonderful to raise such a thoughtful young man."

Chase looked down at Ellen's hand on his own. It reminded him of the way his mother would pat his hand sometimes. "She was far from perfect, but I loved her anyway." He could let Ellen believe that Victoria Chase had been a wonderful, loving mother who had taught him to be mindful of other people's feelings. That was part of who she was. She had not been made only of alcohol and rages and violence. Without the poison in her veins, she could be gentle, funny, and warm. She had been a sensitive soul, too sensitive, in fact. Her love for her husband and her susceptibility to his criticisms and failings had driven her deeper into the bottle until there was no escape for her, her family, or her son. Chase recognized his natural inclination was to be just as susceptible to criticism and he had made a conscious effort to not let himself care as much as he might.

"I'm sure she'd be so proud of you today," Ellen said.

"Thanks," Chase responded. He supposed it was possible she would have been proud. Neither he nor his mother had been able to live up to his father's expectations; but Victoria had not expected her son to be entirely perfect, at least not all the time. Growing up with her had been confusing at best. When she was drunk, he was the root of all her problems; but when she was sober, she adored him. The difference in her attitude toward him had made it difficult for Chase to blame her for what he thought the alcohol made her do. "I wish she could have met Allison."

Oddly enough, he could not say the reverse was true, that he wished Allison could have met her. In fact, the less his wife knew about his mother, the better. He did not want Cameron to see the way her manipulations and abuse chipped away at his self-esteem.

He did not realize she could already see it.

Ellen sighed, ringing her hands together. "It sure seems like it's taking a long time," she said, her thoughts turning back to her daughter. "David should have been here by now too," she sighed. "I talked to him half an hour ago and he said that everyone had finally gone home so he could be on his way."

"I'm sure he'll be here soon," Chase said.

"It's for sure he didn't miss anything by staying to take care of the family. I'm glad Meggie insisted that everyone continue the party without her."

"It was sweet of her," Chase agreed. It was also practical.

Another ten minutes passed with Ellen becoming more and more agitated. "You don't think they'll have to do a c-section do you?" she asked. "I had a friend whose daughter's nose got hung or something and she had to have surgery. How does a nose get hung in a birth canal?"

"Ally will let us know if there are any problems," he promised her. He noticed his father-in-law enter the waiting room and waved.

"Ellen! There you are!" David approached them. "Traffic is insane. The Cards have a game tonight and they're doing a fireworks display over the river."

Ellen stood and David kissed her on her cheek. "We're still waiting. Chase has been keeping me company."

David shook Chase's hand before sitting down next to his wife. "Have you seen Meggie lately?" he asked.

"It's been about an hour," she answered. "I left her with Ally."

"So what do we do now?" David asked.

"Wait," Ellen answered. Chase could tell that she felt better, having her husband near. "Just wait."

So they did just that. Almost another hour passed before Cameron came into the waiting room to find them wearing a huge smile. "It's a boy!" she proclaimed. "He's absolutely perfect and Meggie is fine. She's tired, but she's fine."

"That's wonderful!" Ellen exclaimed, delighted with the news.

Cameron hugged her parents and her husband. Chase offered the Parkers his congratulations.

"When can we see him?" David asked.

"Now," Cameron answered. "Follow me."

Chase sat back down to wait for Cameron to return later.

She took a few steps before turning around. "Aren't you coming?"

He looked up, surprised. "You want me to come too?"

She came back to him and grabbed his hand, "You're family. Come on." She kept her hand in his as she led them to Meggie's maternity suite.

"Are you okay?" Chase whispered to her. She looked exhausted. Between traveling and being with her sister through labor, she had to be worn out.

"I'm great. It was amazing, Chase, seeing my own little nephew being born. I was one of the first people to ever hold him. He's just beautiful. I can't wait to have our baby. It's going to be even more amazing when I have your baby in my arms."

"Our baby," Chase reminded her, giving her hand a squeeze.

Cameron smiled at him, then pushed open the door to her sister's suite. "I've got Mom and Dad and Chase," she announced to Meggie.

They could see Meggie holding a tiny bundle wrapped in a pale blue blanket.

Ellen was by her daughter's bed in a flash, cooing and gushing over the baby. Cameron stood beside her looking on proudly. Ellen took the baby from Meggie and held him. "He's beautiful," she declared.

Chase shook Nick's hand and congratulated him.

"You'll have one of your own before you know it," Nick reminded him.

"Have you picked a name yet?" David asked.

"Avery Parker Simpson," Nick announced.

"That's beautiful!" Ellen cried, tears coming to her eyes.

"I love it," David said, touched that they had used his surname as the child's middle name.

Cameron took the baby from her mother, "Come on, Avery, meet your uncle Chase."

David shook his head, "That child is going to be as bad with names as the two of you."

Cameron handed the baby to her husband then shrugged. "He's still Chase to me," she replied.

Chase took the baby with a little hesitation. He was unaccustomed to holding perfectly healthy babies and, somehow, holding this squirmy little person seemed even more daunting to him than resuscitating a newborn in respiratory distress. The baby's skin was ruddy and his nose was very tiny. His eyes were closed and his entire face had a scrunched appearance. His little arm flailed just a bit and Chase let the tiny hand grab one of his fingers. "Hi there, Avery," he said. He had worked with much smaller premature babies, but even at a healthy nine pounds, Avery seemed very small to him. It amazed him to think about what Nick had said. In a few months, he would have one of these of his very own.

Chase passed the baby back to Cameron who gave him back to his mother.

"Thanks so much for being here," Meggie said to her sister.

"Thanks for letting me be here," Cameron said, giving Meggie a kiss on her cheek. She could not suppress the yawn that came when she stood straight again.

"Oh, honey, you should go home and rest," Meggie said.

"I'm okay," Cameron argued weakly.

"Meggie's right," Chase said. "You've had a really long day and you need to get off your feet."

"I'm fi--ine." Cameron said, her words interrupted by another yawn.

Chase wrapped his arm around her shoulder. "Time to go. We can come back first thing tomorrow."

Cameron reluctantly agreed.

"Come on. I'll drive you," David offered.

"Oh, it's okay, Daddy. You can stay with Mom and Meggie and the baby. We can get a cab."

David looked back at his new grandson. "Are you sure?"

"Of course I am. You need to drive Mom home later anyway."

"I'll take care of Allison," Chase promised.

"I know you will," David smiled.

Chase led her out of the room, his arm around her waist. "I think you deserve a nice, long bubble bath and a massage. How does that sound?"

Cameron leaned against him as he led her down the corridor. "Perfect," she answered. "Just like my husband."

AN: Next stop…. Halloween. Maybe by next Easter? ;) I'm glad a few of you like this series. Thanks for reading!