I do not own Inuyasha nor profit from the writing of this in any way.

Rating: T

Warnings: Language

Genera: Mystery, Romance

Note: 'Thoughts'

**

Kagome sat in the car alone. Sango was in her field of vision waiting while Miroku and Taisho were trying to explain Kagome to Inuyasha and Kagura. Kagome wasn't sure this was a good idea, her immersion. She had a feeling that it wouldn't go like they wanted, or perhaps it would be too much for the two unsuspecting people. Kagome loved Inuyasha and Kagura, and didn't want them to hurt because of her.

Kagome was also deeply afraid that they, either of them, would outright reject her. They had the right to after all; she wasn't Kikyo. But Kagome feared them looking at her and seeing Kikyo, and wanting her to be the Kikyo they had both loved. Kagome couldn't do that. She wasn't Kikyo, she just wasn't. Kagome couldn't pretend to be her either; she didn't want to.

Kagome watched Sango's back as Kagome slowly opened the door of the car to hear the conversation.

"You see, this isn't an ordinary profiler. Kikyo's family took further steps to insure that their daughter had the best chance of being found." Miroku was saying.

"What kind of steps?" Kagura was asking. Kagome imagined that Inuyasha was already putting the pieces together.

"Well, she is very unique, our… profiler." Miroku had to be looking at Taisho for help.

"What he's trying to say is that this woman they want to live with you is something you could have never expected." Taisho said.

"I don't understand." Kagura said.

"Just tell us the truth." Inuyasha said harshly. Kagome knew that he knew. "Just tell us that this woman isn't even a legal being." Yup, Inuyasha was so smart.

"What?" Kagura question.

Miroku sighed.

"Kikyo's family has had a clone made that was then imprinted," Said Inuyasha's hard voice. It was like daggers in Kagome's heart.

"Yes," Taisho said as if he was proud of Inuyasha's distain.

"Clone?" Kagura's voice was weak and shaky.

"You can back out at anytime." Taisho told them.

A scoff escaped Inuyasha. "Not likely. We agreed to this, and Kikyo's family will hold us to it. Just show us this fucking "profiler" already, and how wonderful of a job they did."

Sango turned to Kagome and saw the pity that passed her eyes as she saw Kagome out of the car. Kagome walked to her without closing the car door. Kagome didn't think she could stay here. She couldn't do this, but she was just a piece of property at this point. Kagome couldn't say no, she didn't have a choice like the others.

Kagome turned the corner to see Kagura gasp, and duck inside. Inuyasha just regarded her with a hard look. She wisely kept her mouth shut.

"If you like we can come back later-" Miroku was offering.

"No need." Inuyasha said with no emotion. "Please come in."

He stood aside as the detective moved inside, and Sango propelled Kagome forward. He had them settle in the front room, and Kagome found herself unable to meet Inuyasha's eyes.

Inuyasha chose to stand. He wasn't surprised in the least that Kikyo's family would resort to something like this. He wasn't surprised that they used the police to do the dirty work of maneuvering her in like this. He wasn't surprised at the detective's emotions or reactions to this. He wasn't surprised that Kagura couldn't handle it.

What surprised him were the emotions that struck him when he saw it. He was surprised that along with disgust he felt a pang of sorrow and loss. He didn't like it.

"So what are you calling it?" He nearly spat.

Sango was on her feet instantly. She had created Kagome, and understood more than any other what Kagome was, and represented, but Kagome was still a person with feelings! Sango was sick of others treating Kagome like a piece of property, like a dog. They looked at Kagome with disgust, and hated her just because she was what she was.

"She is a person just as much as you and I!" Sango declared. "She has feelings too! Did you ever stop to think what it must be like for her? Do you think she had a choice in any of this?"

Kagome tugged on Sango's arm while still sitting, trying to stay small and hidden. She hated confrontation. "Please," Kagome whispered to Sango, "don't."

Sango huffed, and all of the males in the room looked at Kagome. Kagome wanted to disappear, or just run out the door. She could do neither. She was stuck here.

"Sorry." Inuyasha's voice was considerably softer. "What is she called?"

"She has chosen Kagome." Sango said as she finally sat back down. Then she turned her attention Kagome. Sango said nothing, but took Kagome's hand to reassure her.

Inuyasha gave one nod as he watched Sango comforting Kagome. He found it discomforting, but held it to himself.

Miroku was the next to speak. "Is there a room where Kagome can stay, so that she might lay down?"

Inuyasha nodded as Taisho rolled his eyes at his partner's concern for the clone. "Of course," Inuyasha said evenly. "Down the hall, the second door on the left." He stepped aside as Sango took Kagome to the room. Inuyasha noted that Kagome still kept her head down and refused to look at him. 'Good,' was all he thought.

Tense silence reigned as they waited for Sango's return. When she did they began discussing the plans that had been made. Sango wanted to stay with Kagome for a bit, but the detective's thought that she should let the woman to herself.

In rooms on opposite sides of the house two women sat by their doors listening, both attempting to hold in the tears.

**

Kagome watched as her small bag was brought to her room, then closed the door after Miroku had insured that she would be ok, and that she knew they were right next door. Kaogme pressed her head to the door, and then, after several long moments, pushed away from the door. She lay on the bed that Kikyo had picked out for the guest room. Kagome let her eyes drift over the things in the room, all of which the missing woman had picked out. Kagome remembered Kikyo's memories of picking them, and liking them, but she found herself indifferent.

That brought up a huge swell of dread. Kagome knew as well as Sango that as soon as she had awakened in the lab, Kagome had started down a path that wasn't Kikyo's. Every second that passed from that moment made her someone else. Even now Kagome found herself reacting to things differently than her original would have. Kagome wondered if she would be able to do what everyone expected of her. What if she failed and she had already gone too far down her own path? What if she was already too out of touch with Kikyo's life to offer any further help?

Kagome wanted her mother found, but she knew as soon as that happened. The parents, the ones that lusted so desperately for their daughter's return to make Kagome, would have her decommissioned. She would be broken down into the goo that had crafted and grown her. Kagome would be killed. She knew that she wasn't supposed to exist, or that she was lucky- in a way- to even be alive, but that didn't mean in any way that she wanted to die. Kagome still craved life, and living just as any other person would, just as Kikyo did.

Kagome rose, and went to the shelves that lined one wall. She gazed into the pictures that were there. Scenic shots that Kikyo had taken, they were beautiful. Kagome could remember Kikyo's exhilaration in hiking to the places, and seeing a beauty that felt wonderful in person. It wasn't her own; almost none of her feelings were her own. She was just an imprinted clone after all.

Kagome pulled a picture down, and stared at it. It was one of Kikyo's first dog. Kagome wondered at the feeling it inspired inside her. She wasn't Kikyo. While she knew that it was still difficult to separate herself from the emotions the other's memories spawned in her. Kagome wondered what it was like to make those memories yourself, and know it was you that was feeling the effects. She wondered what it was like to not feel likea shadow of someone else. Kagome wondered if it would feel sweeter, or more potent, than what she experienced now. Kagome understood that she may never get a chance to find out. No matter what time passed she was a clone, and would still be seen as such, an illegal being with no rights.

Kagome was pulled from her inner searching as the door opened. Inuyasha stood staring at her, and Kagome reflexively gulped. She set the photo back in its place and stepped away as Inuyasha looked at her. Kagome knew from his amber eyes that he was inas much turmoil as much as she, and resisted the pull to comfort him. Instead she waited for him to either speak or leave.

"May I come in?"

Kagome's eyes widened in astonishment, and she nodded before she realized what she was doing. Kagome resisted her own urge to move away as he stepped into her room and closed the door behind him. When the click of the door sounded, she fought the panic at being trapped. At least these emotions were her own.

Kagome held stock still as Inuyasha moved to the bed and sat down. "I wanted to apologize for my behavior earlier. Sango was right, and I wasn't thinking about how this must be for you. You are being forced into this as much as the rest of us, but I'm sure you aren't even viewed as anything but an abomination and property." Inuyasha paused, and then realized what he said. He turned to Kagome.

Kagome looked at him, and struggled to stay where she was. Yes his words hurt her, but she wanted to comfort Inuyasha. His hurt was above her own in her mind. "I understand." Kagome said slowly trying to choose her words well. "It is a… natural reaction when confronted with something like me." Something was right. She didn't feel wholly like a someone.

Inuyasha rose to his feet, and again Kagome felt a fear in her. He stepped toward her with his hands up, and then froze. "I didn't mean to say that I think you are an abomination or-"

"But most do." Kagome cut him off to stop him from saying anything else that he would regret. "I am used to the disposition toward me. I realize what I represent."

Inuyasha gaped at her for a moment, and then closed his mouth realizing what she was trying to do for him. He respected Kagome stopping him from saying anything he would regret later, or even make himself look like an ass now. He looked at the photo she had been looking at. "She loved that dog… but you know that." He seemed to struggle. "You looked sad looking at it, but not like her."

Kagome looked away from his confusion, and to the picture. "I'm not her." She said very softly. 'And I wasn't thinking about what she thinks about.'

When Kagome looked back up at Inuyasha, he was studying her intently. "You aren't." He said as if he was trying to convince himself.

Kagome looked away from his face again. It was hard to look at him. It was hard to know that there would never be acceptance in those eyes, at least not for her, not for what she was. Kagome would never see the love that he had for Kikyo, or anything like it ever directed at her.

Inuyasha took a step toward her bringing Kagome's eyes up to his. She saw the pity and sorrow there for her, and wanted to cry. Kagome was sick of pity and sorrow. She knew what she was, and accepted it, but all everyone else would see was either a missing loved one, or an imprinted clone to hate. Kagome didn't want any of it. She wanted to be herself, and live a life. But that life would never be for her.

Inuyasha took a step back at seeing the anger and pain that followed. Kagome wore her feelings open for all to see, unlike Kikyo. The more he was around her, the more he saw that she wasn't Kikyo. "Dinner will be ready soon." He said, and then escaped like a coward out the door.

**

Kagura was absent from dinner, and Kagome and Inuyasha ate in silence. Mid way through dinner they heard Kagura leave her room, and leave the house. Kagome set aside her fork, no longer feeling hungry because of the hatred for herself that whelmed up inside her. She still cared about these people, even if it was only because of Kikyo's memories in her head, and she didn't want to see them hurting, norbe the one hurting them. What did it make her when she was the cause?

"You should eat." Inuyasha said as he watched the hurt and guilt rolling across Kagome's eyes.

Kagome didn't look up at him. She couldn't see that pity again. Instead she rose, and took her plate to the counter where she put the rest of her dinner in a container, and set her plate in the sink. "I'm not hungry anymore." Kagome muttered to Inuyasha as she put the container in the fridge. "Thank you for dinner it was good; please excuse me." Kagome didn't wait for a reply before she went to her room, and closed the door wishing she could close it on the world and her conflicted feelings.

**

Kagome held perfectly still as her door creaked open. She couldn't sleep in that house in that bed; it was unfathomable. kagome let her breath stay steady as she heard Kagura's gasp. Several long minutes passed before the door closed, and footsteps lead away.

Kagome sat up, and stared at the door. She couldn't do this. Kagome rose from bed, and, silently as possible, left her room. She held her breath as she opened the front door remembering the squeak it would always make, but there was no squeak. Kagome slipped outside, and moved to the grass. She sat, and looked up at the stars.

Kagome nearly jumped out of her skin when a coat was draped around her shoulders. She turned to look up into Inuyasha's face, and instantly regretted that she had left her room. The last thing Kagome wanted was to wake him.

"It's cold; it won't do to have you getting sick." He said as he settled next to her.

"Inuyasha, I'm sorry I didn't' mean to-"

With a smile he said, "You didn't wake me. I doubted any of us would be doing much sleeping tonight." He looked up at the stars as Kagome studied him. He knew that the woman next to him wasn't his fiancée, but he didn't mind being with her. Once he realized that she didn't want to replace Kikyo or even pretend to be her, he had come to a sort of acceptance. He would at least make this easier for her by not hating her.

Kagome turned away from Inuyasha to look at the stars again. "I'm sorry for all this." She told him finally.

Inuyasha turned to her, astonished. "What do you have to be sorry for?"

"If I hadn't come here- the last thing you and Kagura need is to see me walking around. Instinctively you will think I'm her, but I'm not, and never can be. I see the pain that it caused Kagura… and you. The last thing I want is to make you two hurt." Kagome said. "I'm sorry." She whispered.

"Kagome none of this is on you, nor should you feel guilty for any of it." Inuyasha told her.

Kagome met his eyes. "I am what's hurting both of you." She said as if it were that simple. Inuyasha was going to reply, but Kagome stood silencing him. "We should go in." Then turned and left Inuyasha floundering in his own confused emotions.

-AJ

-Betaed by ShadowInuATR