All of her life- well, at least the parts of it she didn't spend partying- were combined at this minuscule moment. Every laugh, every tear, every weird sexual encounter in a bathroom- they were all distinct preludes to this. Darcy felt like somebody was smacking her in the face, but they had already smacked her in the face a-lot prior, and so she couldn't really feel anything because her face was numb.

She looked Jane square in the eyes, gripped the comfort coffee cup closer to her chest, and said again, "what?"

It was stupid, but the thought of Jane and Thor actually playing a joke on her- for once- was more plausible than the recent events brought to life. And it was stupid to think she was the only one stunned or affected negatively by this, because there were a-lot of other people who were probably way more concerned than her right now. Nevertheless, she was pretty damn distraught. And it was hard to get the self proclaimed laid-back slacker of the century upset about something. But this? This was upsetting.

A little less than a year back, when Darcy actually thought her life was going to pull together- when Jane had convinced her to pack up her bags and move from New Mexico to Manhattan, and they had semi-solid jobs as S.H.I.E.L.D. workers- she told herself that if this crazy shit ever started to happen again, she was going to physically punt herself off of a cliff.

Well, it was cliff-punting time.

In retrospect, it would have been wise to prepare for these things because, really, cosmic events and destinies didn't give a crap whether you were entering your fourth year of college or not. The universe gave no shits. The universe was going to fuck you over. Just when you had a decent apartment and a manageable salary, you were doomed. So she should have been more understanding. However, she was not.

"Darcy," Jane said again, leaning over the table to level her eyes with the confused, distraught orbs of her friend, "are you even listening to me?"

"I'm listening," Darcy confirmed, but her far-off gaze and lack of wit proved otherwise.

"Do not crack on me," Jane said levelly. "I can't handle that right now."

She was right. She was absolutely right. This was way worse for Jane. She was at risk of losing Thor again. And then Darcy would have to deal with sexually frustrated Jane. And she was not dealing with sexually frustrated Jane. She had already had her fill of that, thank you.

"I still don't get it," Darcy told her, turning blue eyes and distraught attention back on the petite blonde woman. Jane had the ability to keep cool in stressful situations. Darcy envied that ability.

"Neither do I," Jane agreed. "Not really.. Not now. I'm sure that before long we'll be able to understand what's going on, though. Thor is going to keep me informed on everything. But he says it's for the best if we stay out of it."

"We stay out of it..?" Darcy tilted her head like she didn't quite understand what that entitled.

"Entirely." Jane ran a thumb along her own coffee mug.

"So.. We're not allowed to do anything?"

"No-one is allowed to do anything," Jane corrected. "This is a big deal, Darcy. A code-red by S.H.I.E.L.D. standards."

"So, what are they going to do?"

"They still have to figure that out."

She snorted. "Is the government involved at all?"

"I'm not sure if that's the best idea, but I believe that, yes, they'll have to be involved at some point." Jane gave a clipped nod.

"So it's serious." She felt like she was in high school and she didn't understand the assignment.

"Extremely," Jane confirmed, voice cracking on the last syllable. She cleared her throat and took a drink out of the cup in front of her.

Darcy mimicked her actions unintentionally. "Can't they call in the Sailor Scouts?"

"The Avengers," Jane corrected, "can't do anything right now. Their hands are tied."

"Because Asgard is protecting him?" Darcy looked apprehensive.

"Because he has their king," Jane reminded.

"Can't they just… Torture him or something?"

Jane's eyebrows shifted up. "Torture? It's S.H.I.E.L.D., Darcy. He's a God."

"What about his own planet? They can't get it out of him?"

"He has Thor's father," Jane said exasperatedly, for the sixth time that day, "he could do anything to Odin.. And they would not be able to stop it."

"So what if he already killed him?"

Jane shrugged.

"Did you just.. Shrug?" Darcy asked. The last time Jane shrugged, she legit thought they were going to die.

"I don't know what else to say, Darce. That's all that Thor would tell me. For the next couple of days, though, we're going to have to be out of the picture, okay?"

And now Jane was going to talk to her like she was a toddler who didn't know when to but-out? Darcy might have been stupid about some stuff, but she could respect boundaries when it came to earth being in potential danger. She huffed. "But what does he want to come down here for?"

"Thor didn't say," Jane explained. "Everything I've relayed is what he explained to me just a few hours ago. But he said the most important thing was keeping us safe. And our work safe," she added.

Darcy chewed that over for a moment, her eyes suddenly very interested in the bleak cavern of liquid filling her coffee cup.

"So when are we going to get the stuff?" It was a final testament to a conversation Darcy desperately wished to expand on while simultaneously dreading the continuation of.

"That's a good question," Jane said. "I think we'll need to head out sometime tonight. The whole agency will be on lock-down tomorrow and no one will be able to get in. Not even Tony."

"Not even Tony?"

"No. Access is forbidden to anyone that wants to enter the building." Jane took another sip of her coffee.

Darcy did too. "So they're bringing this God dude there?"

"I didn't say that," Jane said, narrowing her eyes. "More than likely it will be somewhere far more remote- New Mexico. I highly doubt they would bring him to the base in Manhattan to discuss these things. He's dangerous."

"How dangerous? Like, Nick Fury without coffee dangerous?"

"He saved Thor and I's life," Jane told her, "but I still have my doubts concerning his trustworthiness and his sincerity- my high doubts. He's a thousand year old trickster God. He's capable of chaos."

"And I'm a PMSing twenty four year old," Darcy challenged, "that doesn't mean I'm gonna destroy a city."

Jane cracked a smile. "Are you sure about that?"

"Touche." Darcy took her cup and made a toasting motion. "So, in all reality, they should just let me loose on his ass."

"And he'd kill you."

"Didn't kill you." Darcy blinked from under her eyelashes at Jane. "Maybe he had the hots for you."

"He despises the human race," Jane groaned.

"He despised the human race." Darcy gave a dastardly grin. "Until he saw your tight little ass."

"I am not discussing the prospect of a powerful Asgardian God having the hots for me-" Jane stopped mid sentence when Darcy's grin grew three sizes too big and the reality of what she was saying had dawned on her.

Jane sighed. "Well that was ironic."

Darcy erupted into a fit of giggles, doubling over in her own kitchen chair and holding her sides for moral support

Jane entertained a laugh at her own expense as well, before rolling her eyes at the cackling Darcy, and standing up with both the near-empty coffee mugs in hand. "Do you want some more spaghetti, or am I putting the rest in the fridge?"

"I'm just gonna leave it out." Darcy waved a hand in the air at her. "Stop being so OCD about my kitchen. Have you seen your kitchen?"

"Thor lives at my residence," Jane defended.

"And between the both of you you do a marvelous job at not cleaning. Which is excusable because you're too busy getting it on." Darcy leaned back in her chair, lifting the front legs up just a little bit.

A small, red flush crawled over Jane's face. "You're lack of a filter disturbs me."

"Thank you." Darcy smiled triumphantly.

"Not a compliment," Jane snorted, placing both coffee mugs in the sink.

"Which reminds me," Darcy piped up, "why are you not at home getting it on with your own personal Adonis before the shit hits the fan?"

"Thor is busy. His evil brother is coming to earth. He's sworn to protect earth. Make the calculations, Darcy."

"So no angry thunder sex for you?" Her dark eyebrows raised in mischief at the semi-miffed woman in her little kitchen.

Jane leaned back on the sink counter and glared at her, but that same flush flashed rapidly across her nose. "Tonight," she reminded. "I'm calling you tonight and we're going on a mission, so don't fall asleep and don't tell me you're not coming and then show up 'as a joke.'"

"You're no fun," Darcy whined. "But you know I can't resist a top-secret mission."

"And no Ian," Jane added.

Darcy glared at her. "That's just low."

"That's business," Jane said. "And no telling Ian… I'm not even supposed to tell you. Why did I even tell you?" She shook her head at her own insolence.

"Because you love me?" Darcy shrugged, giving a smirk.

Jane didn't bother to entertain that with an answer. "Tonight, Darcy. Get ready," she added, giving her a judgmental once-over.

"You got it. Can our secret team name be 'the chastity belt?'"

"Why?" Jane asked, not wanting to know the answer.

"Because, like always, we're saving our own asses."

Jane was already shrugging her jacket on by the time Darcy delivered the punch line. "Ha, ha," she grumbled as she grabbed her car keys-agent car keys- off of Darcy's kitchen counter. She turned to look at the home owner- who was still leaning back in the chair with her hair pinned up wildly and a little bit of eyeliner smeared across her face- one last time before giving a tiny wave and exiting via apartment door.

Darcy was left thoroughly alone to contemplate her thoughts. And that was never a good thing.

Thor's brother kidnapped his dad and now he wanted to come down to earth and have a man-to-man with S.H.I.E.L.D.. Even worse than that was the thought of Asgard protecting the sick bastard because they were so devoted to their king- Odin, if she remembered correctly from her ancient mythology class. If Darcy was an Asgardian citizen, she'd just say screw it and kill this crazy dude before he could cause anymore damage. Didn't they have a back-up plan in case this sort of stuff decided to rear its ugly head? A backup king? Or was that Thor?

She sighed and brushed a hand through her hair, pulling it out of the messy ponytail. This alien stuff was getting old really fast. As soon as she thought everything was going to go back to normal, it all started up again. And this time it was Thor's brother's fault. Actually, all three times it had been Thor's brother's fault. Well damn.

Darcy checked her phone for the sixth time, pressed her hands back into her skinny jean pockets, and pursed her lips. Her foot was tapping nervously on the sidewalk while she leaned- she hoped inconspicuously- on the side of the building. She assumed she looked professional, but something in her subconscious whispered that her image, as of present, read more 'drug-dealer' than 'S.H.I.E.L.D. agent.'

"God damn, Ian, did you die?" she murmured into the cool night, watching little beams of light from the street lamp fade under the cracks beneath her feet and the people and the cars pass by in a colorful mixture of night life from the street.

"I only wish."

Darcy spun around and smacked the source of the male whisper in the shoulder, trying to hold in hold in a screech. "You're a… What's a mean word to call British people?"

"Git," he offered.

"You're a dick," she said instead.

He smiled. "I have a feeling Jane told you not to bring me?"

"You had the right feeling, Ian."

Both him and Darcy jumped three feet in the air at the intruder's less than friendly tone. Jane stood behind them with her arms crossed. Erik was by her side, looking disappointed.

"This isn't the best team," the oldest man concluded after an intense stare down by both parties.

"Sorry we're not the Avengers," Darcy sneered.

"I told you to leave him-" Jane eyed Ian "-at home."

"He begged me to come," Darcy explained.

"You told me I had to come," Ian scoffed.

"Well let's not get technical," Darcy replied, smirking at the irony. Ian was a tech student, after all.

"What did she tell you?" Jane asked.

"That S.H.I.E.L.D. was actually an evil operation to rid the world of all junk food and we needed to break in and steal their chemical weapons." Ian looked less than amused.

Darcy chuckled.

"But I'm assuming no one is going to explain to me the real reason we're here," Ian added, "so can we just get on with it?"

"It won't take long," Jane explained, "we parked the car out front and all I need to do is get some boxes of notebooks and paper work. No one hears about this. Ever. Yes?" She turned to all of them individually, eyes narrowed.

Darcy, Ian, and Selvig nodded in unison.

Jane reached up to the key pad beside the doors and punched in the numbers required to open them like she knew the code by heart. Once that was done, and they were through the first set, a lady security guard greeted them at the second pair of glass ones.

"Jane," she nodded curtly at the group, her mouth taking on a grin at the familiar faces. "Make it quick."

"Janet, were you trained in the military?" Darcy asked when she walked past the stout woman.

"Why?" She asked.

"Because everyone listens to you- even me."

"That's because I'm a cool security guard." Janet flipped a wink her way before turning around and moseying back down the dark hallway toward the labs.

Three classic-music riddled, dry humored elevator rides later, they had arrived at the sixth floor of 'S.H.I.E.L.D. Agency: Manhattan Base.' Or, as the employees preferred to call it, 'the place where I have to walk down six flights of stairs to get my coffee because the elevators take forever to reach their destination and they only have coffee on three floors. So I just get Starbucks.'

Okay, so the last part was pretty exclusive to Darcy.

When Jane unlocked her office door, each one of the group filed in. Erik flipped the lights on. Ian looked around.

"This looks more like a science lab," he concluded after a moment.

"Don't be stupid, Ian, we all know what Jane does for a living."

Jane turned around to face Darcy. "And what is that?" she growled.

Darcy rolled her eyes. "Stripping." Her tone oozed sarcasm.

Promptly ignoring her quip, Jane flung open a large cabinet to her left and dug out, with all the might in her tiny body, a hoard full of folded cardboard boxes, throwing each pile onto the floor at the team's feet hurriedly and messily.

They all watched, each with hands stuck in their pockets, rocking back and forth on the soles of their feet- almost as if the trio was meant to be; Jane, the cold leader. Erik, the smarts. Ian, the tech geek. And Darcy, the humor. It worked.

Jane paused a moment to emerge from the cabinet. "So, is anyone going to.. Help?"

"Right!" Ian sprung into action, cheeks going red with embarrassment. He and Erik ran to assist Jane in un-stocking the cardboard.

Darcy tugged down her sweater sleeves. "So I'm assuming this wont be a twenty minute job?"

"If you help, maybe," Jane called, her voice muffled from inside the dark recesses of the cabinet.

And Darcy did. She really did. After about an hour and a half of stocking notebook after notebook into box after box and then carrying them outside to jam into their car (and running out of room in said car, forcing Ian to have to retrieve his own little van), she was trying not to complain, but failing horribly.

And Darcy's complaining was perhaps the worst type of complaining because it consisted of her not shutting her mouth for ten damn seconds.

She could tell that both Jane and Erik were simultaneously going to take a portion of her body and pull her in half by the end of the second hour. Ian was lucky enough to make an escape, but even he was not immune to Darcy's tiring sarcasm.

So Ian caved first. He handed Darcy his car keys and told her she could drive it to his place afterwards.

Erik was next. But he was old, so it was excusable.

The third hour of torturous paperwork sorting set in, and Darcy found herself sitting on the counter in her ACDC undershirt, socks, and the leggings she had stowed under her skinny jeans. Various candy wrappers and pieces of rogue paper were scattered around her folded legs, a coke was situated by her thigh, and her hair was pulled back from her shoulders in a sloppy bun with little pieces of ripped notebook paper stuck in its dark mass.

Every time Jane passed her, sulking back to the vending machines to get another water, she would comment on Darcy's hair.

"Meh, it makes me feel like a jungle queen," Darcy would reply, shrugging her shoulders. She picked her iPhone up and scanned through Instagram for a moment before returning to the task at hand and setting it back in the open drawer beside her foot.

She was halfway through her millionth stack of papers, when her tired eyes caught something interesting on the page. Actually interesting. So interesting that she felt the need to fling it in Jane's face when the short woman trudged back into the office.

"Why are you throwing pictures of Loki at me?" Jane asked, pushing the picture away from her face promptly.

"That's Thor's brother?" Darcy pulled the paper back up to her own face to examine.

"Why does it matter?" Jane groaned.

"Because he's hot."

"Darcy. He killed people." Jane snatched the picture from her hands and threw it into their ever-growing recycle pile.

"Don't you need that?" Darcy whined.

Jane glared at her. "Are you really asking me to let you keep a picture of Loki?"

"He's my type," Darcy shrugged.

"No. He's not," Jane replied. "He's a homicidal maniac."

"Exactly."

"You disturb me."

Darcy cackled.

By the time three thirty AM decided to peek its demon head round the corner, there was one more box stacked up in the corner ready to go. Darcy and Jane, before pulling most of their clothes back on and throwing various wrappers of delicious endeavors away, each picked up a side of the box, turned off the light, locked the door, and trudged two tired female asses out of S.H.I.E.L.D. agency with only one comment from the taller one; "so," she said, "shouldn't take long, huh? Looks like that hypothesis failed." Jane shut her up with a pointed glare.

Darcy didn't speak again until they were in the car.

"So," she said, once they had collapsed into Ian's car along with the heavy box of dead tree, "what do you say we play an old rock ballad, look out the windows melodramatically, and pretend we have a theme song on the way home?"

"I am getting that car back from Erik in the morning," Jane grumbled. She looked over at Darcy with her hand covering her forehead. "Otherwise, that sounds great."

Darcy grinned and reached a hand up to turn on the radio, but a tap at her window made her scream instead.

Jane flung herself against the passenger door.

Two wide eyes looked quizzically at the security guard knocking on the glass. Darcy pressed the button to roll it down. "Is this gonna be a new trend?" she asked aloud.

"What?" Janet asked.

Darcy sighed. "Nothing. Asgardian beefcakes. Windows. Ugh."

"I left everything as it was, Janet," Jane assured from the passengers seat, leaning over Darcy's sprawled frame to stare at the guard. "I made certain."

"Oh no," she shook her head and pushed something through the open window. "You just forgot this."

Darcy grabbed her pants and giggled. "I forgot my pants."

Jane sucked in a breath that might have been an amused laugh.

Janet nodded at the pair. "Take care, ladies. See you at work- well, not tomorrow." She gave a final, resounding shrug, and left Jane and Darcy sitting in the car without so much as a goodbye.

"I am never," Darcy groaned, her head rolling over to the side that Jane was on, "doing that again."

"We still have to unpack," Jane reminded.

"I hate you."

"Hate's a strong word." Jane smiled at Darcy, obviously pleased with her remark.

"That's why I used it."