Jules sat upright in the chair, partly missing the silence around her. The voices were all part of the job, being able to hear what the rest of the team were doing. But at times she had to switch it off in order to concentrate on the matter at hand. Jason was telling her about James when the conversation was halted by her cellphone. She gave a quick apologetic look to Jason, and then glanced down. It was the truck, which meant it had to be Spike or Sarge.
"What you got?" She asked.
"Situation is dealt with" Spikes no nonsense voice came through. She let out a breath.
"And Lt. Reagan?" She could see Jason tense up opposite her.
"He's fine. Sam talked him into helping. He saved some lives today." She smiled as she heard the reply, her eyes locked on the old mans.
"Your nephew is fine" she assured him "And a hero it seems." The old man's face cracked open with a warm smile. She thanked Spike, and then closed her phone, standing up.
"I've used up enough of your time" She told him, extending her hand to him. He took it and shook it.
"It's been my privilege to help the SRU" He said.
Jules smiled at the compliment, although it wasn't aimed directly at her, then she turned to leave. Her eyes glanced over to the window; now she was relaxing she was taking in more of the surroundings. Her eyes were always drawn to interior design recently, mainly because she was still looking for inspiration for her own place. Through the window she spotted something. She paused, and then spun back around.
"This is going to sound crazy, I know. But that BBQ out there. How good is it?" It was a random question she knew, but she had been thinking of getting one for herself.
"That old thing?" Jason said, the question throwing him off slightly. "It's alright. I light it, throw some steaks on it, they cook, I eat." He shrugged it's a BBQ. A thought struck him. "I was thinking of lighting up tonight anyway. I got plenty of steaks in the freezer if you and your team want to stop by." The chance to meet more of the SRU, to hear their stories, it was too good to pass up "Too many steaks and only two mouths to feed"
"I'll talk to the guys when we finish debriefing" Jules promised with a smile - she thought it was sweet and didn't really want to say no to the man without at least asking.
A few hours later James is in the garden seated on the wall at the far end of the garden staring at something on the ground in silence.
In between his fingers he held an empty beer bottle
So many thoughts were going through the man's mind – were his actions wrong? Was he the reason it had all gone wrong? Maybe if he had been more cooperative from the start maybe they would have got in quicker and Jack wouldn't have had him at gunpoint. Then there was the fear – James hated it when he felt fear – it was normal and human but he still hated it.
He partly blamed himself for the loss of one of the hostage takers – it had been inevitable seeing as he was a threat but still – it felt like he could have done more.
He was broken out of his thoughts by the sound of the doorbell ringing – a device that Jason had brought allowed them to hear the doorbell whilst in the garden. He watched as Jason who had been grilling something headed inside – he knew who it would be as his uncle had told him about the invitation.
Jason slowly approached the door and opened it, he smiled as he saw Jules "Officer Callaghan" he said stepping aside to let her in
"You can call me Jules" Jules replied before stepping inside, Jason closed the door and was about to lead the way to the garden when the bell rang again and Jason opened the door once more to reveal Sam who hesitated when he saw Jules.
"Hey Sam" Jules said as she hid her surprise "Jason this is Sam Braddock, my colleague from SRU" she looked to Sam "This is Jason Reagan, James' uncle"
"Well welcome" Jason said indicating him to come on in and held out his hand for the man to shake.
"Pleased to meet you Admiral" he said simply as he shook his hand he knew from the bank situation who Jason was.
"Please, call me Jason – I'm not an Admiral anymore"
"Sorry, Jason" Sam replied and Jason chuckled "It's alright son – come on in" he said grinning and Sam stepped inside he was trying to avoid Jules' eyes "Are we the first ones here?" he asked absently and Jason nodded "James is in the garden" he said softly indicating them towards the kitchen.
Once the SRU officers entered the garden James sat up but didn't speak.
Sam regarded him – the man seemed different – now that they were out of the situation Sam would have thought James would be more relaxed.
He glanced at Jules and indicated her to follow as he approached – James stood stepping forward he extended his hand "You must be Master Sgt Braddock?" he asked and Sam nodded "Yeah, this is Jules Callaghan my colleague" he introduced and James nodded shaking their hands "Thanks for having my back in there" he said softly.
Sam could smell the beer on James' breath but Sam's reply was saved by the doorbell ringing again and James shook his head, Jason returned inside to go answer.
"You okay?" Sam asked and James nodded simply "Fine" he answered a little too shortly. Looking up he saw two more men exit followed by his uncle "More colleagues eh Jules?!" Jason called out and Jules grinned
"James, this is Spike and Lou" he introduced as the men approached – James shook their hands simply and quickly "hey, I'm James" he said quickly.
"The steaks are just cooking!" Jason called out as he went back to grilling
"I'll get the beers" James said shortly before heading back inside.
Jules looked to Sam "Something I did?" she asked but Sam shook his head – he was confused by James' attitude too.
James sulked into the kitchen and began to grab some beers when the doorbell rang again – James ignored it and Jason entered staring at James "What's with you son?, answer the door!" he said sharply – he was a former Admiral but it never stopped him from pulling the Admiral card with his Nephew and Son.
James winced and sobered up – heading to the door he yanked it open and frowned
In front of him was Ed and Wordy – Behind them was Greg "Hey James" Wordy said cheerfully and James shook his hand "Hey Wordy" he said recognizing the man finally. Wordy entered and Ed stepped up "Hey, I'm Ed Lane" he said offering his hand, James shook it and then looked to Greg
"Greg Parker?" he asked before Greg could introduce himself and Greg smirked and nodded "Pleased to meet you James" he said shaking the man's hand.
James let Greg step in then closing the door he headed towards the kitchen leading the way "They're all in the garden – head on out – I'm just grabbing the drinks" he said as he moved back to the counter.
Greg hesitated as he smelt the alcohol on the man's breath – clearly he'd had a few – but he nodded
Wordy led the way out where sounds of greetings could soon be heard as the arrivals greeted Jason.
James grabbed several cold beers and headed outside – handing them out James reached Greg and held one out to him Greg firmly shook his head "Nah, I don't drink. Thanks"
"It's a BBQ." James said "You've got to have at least one beer at a BBQ!"
Greg shook his head. "I'm fine with a soda."
James tried to thrust a beer into his hand and Greg took a step back, the smile falling from his face.
Ed stepped over. "He said he doesn't want a beer." He spoke in that no-nonsense tone of his.
James took a step back and glared at Ed.
"James!" Jason shouted over to his nephew "There are some sodas in the fridge. Why don't you go get them."
James shrugged, thrusting the beers to Sam and headed inside.
For a moment there was an awkward pause then Sam sighed "Gimme a sec" he said heading after the man.
Closing the door as he entered Sam watched James for a minute
"What's up with you?" he asked after some silence
James glanced at him "Nothing" he said simply as he grabbed a soda from the fridge and placed it on the counter
"Seems a lot from the way you're acting …sir" Sam said boldly as he met James' eyes
James glanced at Sam – clearly the younger man had a lot of guts to come after him like that "Don't call me sir and what you getting at?" he asked turning to face him as he closed the fridge door.
Sam shrugged "I dunno – you sure you're fine with what happened today?" he asked
James narrowed his eyes at him "I am" he said but Sam could tell the man was lying "Whatever you got on your head – don't need to take it out on everyone else ya know" he said leaning on the counter as he stepped forward "Like the man who talked Mark down to get to you and Jack – he blames himself too"
"What?" James regarded him in confusion
"He took risks he regrets – he didn't even want to come today – I saw Ed and Wordy trying to talk him into coming"
James shook his head "Well he's not very sociable anyway" he said a little too quickly and Sam stood up "That's not true" a beat and Sam watched James "He doesn't drink cause he's a recovering Alcoholic hasn't touched the stuff in 10 years – you saying he has to just to be sociable?"
"No" James hesitated "No" he said regretting his own words as he saw Sam's guard come up "Sorry" he looked away and shook his head.
"I know your pretty messed up about the situation – but none of it was your fault" Sam said softly
James looked at Sam "Maybe if I had been less of an idiot you guys would have got in quicker" his voice was softer
"No. You were just finding it hard to trust us. You know – it took a long time for me to trust these guys and not go off on my own" a beat and Sam glanced outside then back at James "But you didn't affect the outcome – you did what you could and what you had to do"
"I could've done more" he started and Sam shook his head
"You did what you could James" Sam said quietly as he leaned on the counter watching the man before him "You were unarmed and you couldn't communicate with us – what you did was take a risk"
"A risk" James snorted "I didn't cooperate – I acted like an idiot" he sighed
"Yeah you did, but so does everyone who doesn't trust cops" Sam replied
"I should've, cause you guys were the only ones who could have got us out" James took a swig of his beer "And I should trust cops"
"Why don't you" Sam asked quietly
"They destroy crime scenes, they screw up evidence logging, and they lose things and people, they do things they shouldn't do and they don't cooperate" a beat and James shook his head "Not every cop" he added remembering the cops who didn't mess up.
"You just haven't had the greatest experience of cops that's all" Sam replied "We're pretty used to people not trusting us – we see it every day"
"But I'm a Fed, and I acted like…" A beat and James took a swig of beer
"Not in the end you didn't" Sam said
"Cause I was at gunpoint" he said angrily "I put myself there – If I hadn't acted like I knew what I was doing he wouldn't have…"
"Escalated, he escalated cause he was cornered" Sam said quietly noticing the change in James' body language "You know" a beat and he contemplated his next words "Greg" he started
"What about him?" James asked raising a brow
Before Sam could speak the door opened and Greg entered "Hey" he said seeing them and Sam glanced at him "hey boss" he looked back at James "I'll meet you outside"
Sam exited and Greg watched him go – he knew full well Sam had told James something just by the look on James' face.
James cleared his throat and straightened as he grabbed the soda and placed it on the counter between him and Greg "Here, I'm sorry about earlier" he said quickly before Greg could speak.
Greg shook his head "it's fine" he said taking the soda "Thanks"
"no it's not" James replied "I shouldn't have said it" he said quietly and Greg shook his head "It's fine really" Greg sat back.
James regarded him "Why are you being so good about it? I messed up"
"No" Greg said quietly "I did" he shook his head "I'm the one that made the judgement call" he was avoiding talking about the earlier comment.
James narrowed his eyes at him "I chose to listen"
"I chose to ask you to help" Greg countered
James shook his head and took another swig of beer, Greg watched him cautiously – James finished off the beer and reached for another from the pack "You know" Greg started that familiar look appeared on his face that those that knew him well would recognize "Maybe you should ease off on the beer a bit" he said softly - gently. James' eyes flashed and he narrowed his eyes at Greg "Maybe you should back off" he growled and Greg stood showing his hands "Sorry sorry" he said backing up "I'll be outside" he quickly made his exit back into the garden.
James shook his head and sighed staring down at the beer bottle in his hand – maybe he was pushing it having so many – and if Sam was telling the truth about Greg then maybe downing so many in front of him was a little heartless.
But James wouldn't admit that – slamming the bottle back down but not so hard that it broke he stared at the window overlooking the garden.
Sam was beside Jason trying to help and Jason giving tips and also trying to keep the younger man away from his tools.
Jules was off to the side with Spike and Lew – as the men talked Jules was half listening and half trying to watch Sam at the same time.
Ed and Wordy are on the grassy area simply just watching everyone, Greg exited the kitchen soda in hand, as he approached Wordy and Ed he tried not to show what he was feeling but Ed looked up and narrowed his eyes "What's up?" he asked reading his friend well.
"It's taken care of" Greg said softly taking a swig of his soda.
James exits the kitchen and heads over to Sam and Jason, Ed narrows his eyes at this but doesn't say anything as Wordy strikes up a conversation with Greg.
Listening to Wordy speak Ed is only half listening as he steals glances at James throughout the rest of the evening at the BBQ.
It is quite late in the evening when Ed finally checks his watch and groans "She's gonna kill me" he muttered "Same for me" Wordy said checking his watch "We'd better head back" Wordy and Ed stood – Jason followed suit "It's been a pleasure to meet you" he said warmly and the two men grinned "Likewise sir" Ed replied as they shook hands "Please do visit again" Jason added and the two nodded "We will sir" Wordy replied "we'll find the door, you rest sir" Ed said patting the man's arm.
In the kitchen James was at the table drinking another beer, Ed walked by and Wordy stopped to shake James' hand "It's been a long day" he said as James returned the handshake and nodded in agreement.
Wordy headed out after Ed - Before they reached their car Greg joined them having slipped around the back way eager to avoid going through the house.
The three had carpooled Greg's car in anticipation of alcohol and Greg had already known he would have to drive his two colleagues home.
Spike and Lew followed after promising to visit again for more steaks, Jules leaves after and Sam stays to help Jason clean up – by then James had slunk off to bed leaving Jason alone.
Next morning Jason is already up and in the kitchen at 10am when James stumbles in – bidding his uncle good morning he is surprised when his uncle ignores him – James gulps recognizing the posture his uncle was holding "Uncle" he started as he leaned against the counter
"Step away from the counter" Jason replied and James obeyed – Jason turned to face his nephew and he met the man's eyes – James immediately stood straight and tall.
"You should be ashamed of yourself, because I know I am ashamed of you" Jason said angrily "You acted like a child last night, I didn't know who you were – you wasn't who I raised"
James stayed silent not daring to speak
"What do you think you're doing treating people that way, people who risked their own lives to come dig you out of trouble" Jason moved around the counter and stood right in front of James and very close to him "You drank so much it was shameful! Especially in front of someone who doesn't drink – the way you treated him was despicable!"
James' eyes stared straight ahead but it was clear his uncle's words were cutting right into him.
"You were extremely unsociable and you didn't even stay to stay goodbye, did you know that Sergeant Parker went around the back way instead of going through the house? He didn't want to cause a scene – he should have been treated better – especially as he put himself on the line for you" he asked shaking his head "Where's the James I raised? Cause I'm not looking at him right now – right now I am disgusted" he shook his head and turned away "get out of here – make your own breakfast" Jason headed past James and into his living room slamming the door.
For a moment James stood still – he'd seen his uncle angry before but it was a long time ago – this? This shocked him to the core. He knew his uncle wasn't kidding – his words cut through him like a knife – and the worst part? James knew it was all true.
His feet began to move and he walked to the window staring out at what was left of the BBQ. His head hurt the headache was nothing compared to the guilt he was feeling inside.
He actually owed these people – and he treated them wrong – he remembered everything about the day before up til the last minutes before bed.
He hadn't slept soundly either – he was pretty sure the guilt had been raging at him all night judging by the sweat on his face when he woke up in the middle of the night.
He remembered Greg and he looked down shaking his head, Jason was right – the way he had treated him wasn't fair – he remembered the look on his face when he bit back he shouldn't have done that.
He was mad – mad at the whole situation he had gotten himself into – and he'd taken it out on the wrong people.
Heading outside he began to tidy up – something he did when he was trying to clear his head.
Once completed he headed back inside and saw a can of soda on the counter that wasn't there before but the message was there – he looked over at the living room door then sighing he walked past and headed upstairs to get ready.
An hour later James' hummer pulled up outside the SRU and James steeled himself – he knew he probably wouldn't get much of a welcome – but he was here to apologize and that's what he planned to do. Getting out James checked himself – he was wearing a plain long-sleeved blue shirt and black trousers his black shoes polished and his hair neatly cut and shaved – he'd purposely cleaned up not to impress them but to show more of who he was as a person.
Heading inside he approached the desk "Hey" he said as Winnie stood "I'm…" he started
"not welcome" Ed said appearing almost out of nowhere – but he had been near the windows at the front of the SRU when he had spotted James' hummer "You got five seconds to leave" Ed's voice was cool and calm but it was evident by his eyes that he meant what he said.
"I just wanted to" James tried to start but Ed shook his head "Don't want to hear it – get out of here"
"Ed let it go" Sam said approaching "Hey James"
"Get out of here and stay away from Greg" Ed replied narrowing his eyes
James gulped and looked to Sam "I gotta talk to Greg" he said softly
"He's busy" Ed interjected before Sam could speak but Sam shook his head "Ed"
"Ed it's okay" Greg said approaching from the briefing room "Hey" he said giving James a nod
James sighed "I gotta talk to you" he said quietly keeping Ed in his peripheral vision "Please?"
Greg looked at Ed "Eddie" he said softly and Ed stepped back and Greg nodded to Sam "Let's walk" Greg led the way out; Ed moved to follow but hesitated then headed to the gym. Sam watched for a moment then followed Ed into the Gym.
Greg led James towards a quiet area around the back of the building and they stopped at the bench but neither of them sat down.
For a moment there was silence then Greg sought out James' eyes – he could tell James was trying to think of what to say and how to say it – he couldn't blame him.
Once Greg had sought out his eyes James looked away "Listen Greg" he started "I wanted to apologize" he heard Greg start to speak but James held up a hand and met Greg's eyes "No please, let me finish" he said softly "What you saw yesterday, that wasn't me – I'm not that guy" he said and for once his guard was down "You probably think you saved someone who drinks a lot and too much for his own good" He saw Greg shake his head and sighed "I wouldn't blame you if you did, cause that's all you saw last night – and I wanted to apologize for what I said to you"
"You don't have to apologize" Greg said softly "You were angry"
"Yeah well" a beat and James pushed his hands into his trouser pockets "I was angry at the wrong people – I took it out on you – my pride got in the way" he shook his head.
Greg watched him – it was clear the man felt extremely guilty and he actually felt even worse than he already felt.
"And you know what" James said finally "You guys saved my rear end – I owe you guys – You took risks and if you hadn't" a beat "I wouldn't be here" James watched Greg and sighed "I was wrong to hide away and act like a complete jerk – to you especially"
For a moment it seemed Greg was trying to contain himself – he wanted to apologize to James for putting him at risk so much but he couldn't trust himself and he didn't make it a habit to bear himself to anyone – he kept things close to his chest.
James sighed "And I uh" a pause and James reached into his jacket pocket slowly and brought out the soda can his uncle had left on the counter "I owe you one"
Greg blinked in confusion then it dawned on him and he took it "Thanks" he replied understanding the gesture "You didn't have to" he said quietly but James shook his head "I wanted to" he could have left the can on the counter but he wanted to take it to him.
"Hey! Boss! You got a call!" Sam said approaching and Greg nodded "It was good to talk" he said looking to James and James held out his hand "I hope we can forget what happened" he asked and Greg nodded "Of course" he replied shaking James' hand firmly then as Greg walked off Sam stopped in front of James and watched Greg go.
Once Greg disappeared around the corner Sam looked to James "that was a good thing you did" he said softly and James looked to him "You wanna go get a coffee?" he asked and Sam nodded "Sure" the two started to head towards the street.