The Jerks of the Board of Education
Chapter 2
By Shadowgate
…
The next morning when Stan's alarm clock went off he got out of bed and said "fuck."
He sure wasn't interested in going to school today but he had no choice.
When Stan arrived at school Kyle and Kenny were waiting.
They told Stan they would walk with Stan to the principal's office because they wanted to stand by him in his time of need.
Stan was so appreciative.
As they walked through the hallway Stan started feeling rage. Why was the principal snapping at him yesterday as if he'd murdered someone?
Counselor Mackey was standing outside the principal's office. When the three boys arrived Kyle asked "what room will Stan be in?"
Counselor Mackey showed him a small private classroom and Counselor Mackey explained this classroom has only been used in the past as hey holding cell for students whom they called the police on and had arrested.
Stan said "will the door remain locked?"
Counselor Mackey replied "no we can't lock a student in there for more than 10 minutes" and right after Counselor Mackey got finished Principal Victoria came out and said "we'd certainly like to though."
Kyle was in shock at the look of rage on Principal Victoria's face.
Principal Victoria said "Kenny we'll need to see you in our office about the conversation that Stan had with you."
Kenny asked "am I going to get in-school suspension as well?"
Principal Victoria answered "you're lucky you're not."
Principal Victoria signals Kenny to enter her office.
At 8:30 AM Kenny enters Mister Garrison's class looking really pissed off.
Mister Garrison asked Kenny why he was late and he answered "because Principal Victoria is on her period."
All the boys in the class laughed and Kenny handed his note to Mister Garrison excusing him for being late.
When Kenny sat down he said to Kyle "I got detention for listening to Stan tell his story about the crack head in the motherfucking bathroom."
Kyle had a frown on his face and said "damn just for being around to hear him tell a story that was deemed inappropriate for school you got detention?"
Kenny replied "it's bullshit!"
Mister Garrison said "okay class starting tomorrow as you've probably heard already you all will be going to the natatorium for swimming lessons for a period of two weeks tomorrow. I know this is short notice but I'm passing out field trip permission slips."
Mister Garrison said "oh and don't worry Stan will get a permission slip as well. This is mandatory because so many retarded children drown in bath tubs far too often."
Kenny said "oh don't worry Cartman can't fit in a bathtub because he's so fat. He'll have to worry about falling down in the shower."
The whole class except for Cartman laughed.
Cartman said "go lick your mom's pussy Kenny."
Kenny shot back "you go lick your mom's pussy you fat ass bastard."
Mister Garrison said "how would you two like to go to the principal's office and then you two will both join Stan in that little room."
Mister Garrison had a big smirk on his look. Kyle thought "oh I just wonder what our perverted teacher was thinking?"
When Mister Garrison turned his back Kyle flipped him off and whispered to Kenny that Mister Garrison was a pervert.
When school let out Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny caught up with Stan.
Stan was furious.
As the four boys walked out of school Stan said "Oh I didn't even get to eat lunch because I totally forgot to bring a sack lunch. Oh but they're going to let me go to the natatorium for the next two weeks because they have to offer it by law. I mean shit how was I supposed to remember to bring a sack lunch with all the bullshit going on?"
Kyle said "Stan you better eat soon because you're shaking."
Stan replied "well I hope my parents will sign that permission slip so I can have some time out of that jail cell."
Stan holds the permission slip but soon drops it due to shaking.
Kyle said "let's get you to a Burger King."
Luckily Stan had a ten dollar bill in his wallet to eat at BK. He was starving.
Stan's parents agreed to sign the permission slip because he explained to them he was allowed to go and that the state was endorsing it due to children drowning so often.
The next morning the kids were lined up for the bus. They would be changing in the locker rooms at the South Park Community Center.
Terrance Mephisto walked up to Kyle and said "oh Kyle I'm sure you've missed your boyfriend Stan."
Kyle replied "fuck off Terrance."
Two buses pulled up. One driver was a man and the other was a woman.
The woman said "hello children my name is Mrs. Hubbard and this is Mister Seal. You kids lined up on the left side of the school will be riding my bus."
As Mrs. Hubbard got on the bus Kenny whispered "you guys this shit is not cool. She was a teacher that my brother had and my brother told me she's a total fucking bitch."
Stan said "well let's just be cool now she's just a bus driver."
When they got on the bus and took their seats Mrs. Hubbard said "okay is Stan Marsh in here?"
Stan raised his hand.
Mrs. Hubbard went on to say "well Stan you're the first kid in elementary school I know of to get in-school suspension and I heard that from some other teachers in this school. I used to be a teacher myself and I got my eye on you."
Stan was shocked and disgusted.
Kenny turned to Kyle and said "I told you."
They went to the community center and when they got there they all got in their suits.
Terrance asked Kyle "hey Kyle are you going to give blowjobs to your friends like a little bitch? This locker room is convenient with all the boys' cocks showing freely."
Kyle answered sarcastically "oh Terrance I know you're jealous since we broke up."
Everybody laughed at Terrance and his eyebrows shot up and his eyes were full of rage.
When they got out the coaches told them they would not be getting in the pool on the first day because they were going to watch a video on pool safety.
All the kids groaned. Cartman asked "what was the point of getting in our suits?"
Kyle said "Cartman I got to hand it to you that is an intelligent question."
Cartman said "thank you Kyle."
After they got on the bus to head back to school some kids put the windows down and started singing out the windows. The bus driver pulled over and she was going to chew them out big time.
"ALL OF YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE THE WINDOWS DOWN. NEVER PUT THE WINDOWS DOWN AFTER COMING FROM THE COMMUNITY CENTER POOL. YOUR HEADS ARE WET AND YOU COULD GET SICK! YOU THREE THAT PUT THE WINDOWS DOWN, I'LL BE TALKING TO THE PRINCIPAL ABOUT YOU AND I KNOW YOUR NAMES BECAUSE THERE ARE ASSIGNED SEATS."
Terrance, Bill, and Fossy were reported to the principal for putting their windows down. Stan was reported to the principal by the bus driver because she claimed Stan gave her the evil eye.
At 3PM Wendy was standing by her locker and she was pissed.
"THAT MOTHERFUCKING BUS DRIVER GOT THE PRINCIPAL TO SPEND 30 MINUTES YELLING AT STAN OVER NOTHING. THAT FUCKING DISGUSTING CUNT!"
Wendy's eyes were blood red she was so mad.
Cartman said "Mrs. Hubbard is a fucking bitch."
Wendy said "it's great we're on the same side Cartman now move out of my way."
Cartman said "yes ma'am" and took off because he hadn't seen Wendy this mad since he made fun of breast cancer.
Clyde slammed his locker and said "Mrs. Hubbard can go eat shit in her fucking cupboard."
Craig said "yeah fuck Mrs. Hubbard."
Terrance, Bill, and Fossy sang in the hall way "Mrs. Hubbard oh she jacks off in her cupboard."
TO BE CONTINUED