Nostalgia

by Icemera

Prequel to 'Superstar'. Months after the Carnival. Through their journey together, Nao and Shizuru will try to grasp what it all means. Sunrise's Hime. Now, added with 'Sleepless', a 1-shot taken place after 'Superstar'.

2. C1: She

A/N: My beta is very busy with her school. Aiiiiii. Sorry about the grammar mistakes you'll see there.

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CHAPTER 1: SHE

"Yuuki Nao?"

The plump cop in his late forties tapped the bong against the steely bars to get my attention.

"Yuuki Nao?" he repeated.

"Yeah, don't you already know my fucking name?" Bored, I brushed the damp locks from my tired face.

Only two hours ago, I was with a friend, Takahashi Jiro, who promised to make Tokyo my second home. With all the connections he boasted about, he was going to help me break into movie industry. Only three days ago, I packed my things against my mother's advice to go out there and seize the day. After what happened during the Carnival, I decided to live for the moment. Only a month ago, I stopped all my self-destructive activities in hope to begin a new life.

And here I was, arrested for bodily injuring Jiro as he attempted to steal my money and the old watch mother gave me. Not to mention the cop's leers and suppressed sexual remarks for the past thirty minutes. It was the first time that, without my supernatural power, I realized how prison seemed so real to me. It was the first time that, without the urge to avenge the injustice, I realized how anyone would easily fall prey to this already chaotic and dark world.

Goddamn. It had been a long fucking night.

"Someone's here to pick you up."

I immediately shot up from the chair. I was allowed for a phone call and, not wanting to alarm mother with this stupid news, I had no choice but to call Mai. She wasn't exactly a close friend of mine, but she was nice and I could use her just fine. I knew she'd try to get me out somehow, and was pleasantly pleased that she was fast and efficient. That made her my new best friend.

I followed the cop along the brightly lit corridor towards the exit, only to stagger at the sight of the familiar but unexpected face. Fujino, soaked by the heavy rain outside, stood by the counter. Her expression was ever so distant.

"Takahashi-san didn't press any charges against you, so you're free to go," the cop said as the steel bars slid shut behind us.

My blood boiled at the notion. It was pathetic enough that Fujino, the last person I wished to witness me in this pathetic state, came to bail me out. I spun around, barking at the cop. "He didn't? I'm going to press charges against him, all right!? He tried to… He—he tried to drug me! He tried to steal my purse—my suitcase—and—and not to mention—"

The cop began to say something back, but I couldn't make the words out since I responded more with louder shouts. I only stopped when Fujino dragged me out of the police station before I was sent back to prison.

Hiding under the canopy in front of a nearby ATM machine, Fujino studied me a little with her conniving gaze, the one I absolutely loathed, and handed me my grubby suitcase. She must have taken me as a drug junkie, or a whore, but I couldn't care less to give her any excuse.

I threw the suitcase to the swamping ground and opened it, uncaring since it was already mudded up during the fight with Jiro. It couldn't even be properly locked up that water easily leaked in and out now. I madly fumbled for my I.D. card along with my remaining cash, which were scattered underneath the layers of wet clothes.

That goddamn crook took most of my money! My fists trembled, but I stopped myself from screaming aloud in misery. Not in front of this girl. "Fuck! He took my fucking iPod, that motherfucker!" Sadly, self-control wasn't one of my strong points.

"Mai-san called me. She asked me to come and fetch you," Fujino said, standing and looming over my back.

"Yeah, I wouldn't imagine you're a telepath somehow," I grunted, hurriedly going through my belongings. My hairdryer, my boots and expensive shoes, which cost most of my savings, along with my books were anything but junks now.

Fujino knelt beside me, picking up a pair of my panties, which must have slipped out of the suitcase and onto the ground, and clutching in her fist as she spoke. Her fingers slowly slipped in and felt the soft cotton, intending for me to catch it in the act. "I heard you move out here to look for a job."

I despised it when she veiled away her perversion with that calmness on her face. I snatched my panties back, tossed it into the suitcase and slammed the lid shut. "Why, you're gonna get me one?" I spat it out.

Her eyes widened in pretentious surprise. "Shame. I'm a nobody, Yuuki." Fujino just gave me the smile that only an idiot like Kuga Natsuki would believe in its sincerity. She had made her name from only a few commercials and was settling in Tokyo to further pursue her fortune.

As soon as I heard from Mai that Fujino was offered her first movie role in 'Codename: Black' with the currently hottest actor, Ueda Kaito, after settling in Tokyo for only six months, I was insanely jealous of the opportunity. What had this girl done to deserve it?

Nothing.

Fujino Shizuru was a fake. She was simply arrogant. She took people for granted and cared for no one but Kuga. I thought that was the only sentiment her heart possessed, but her fame now even began to outshine everything Kuga used to mean to her. There were some hot gossips in our Fuuka circle that the duo hadn't talked to each other for months now. Tokyo was definitely more interesting than that boring, airhead biker who probably didn't even know how two people made babies. It was funny to think that Kuga, a class skipper, stayed behind and planned to enter some college even, while her best buddy, the student council president, was an imminent college dropout.

"I already booked a room for you at the motel I'm staying. Figured you could stay there until you find your own place." Fujino took some money off her purse and offered me. "This might get you around for a few days."

Thank God Fujino really wasn't a telepath, or she'd have taken that money back so fast. Tokyo had suddenly become nastier than I thought, and this rainy night wasn't going to get any easier. I cleared my throat, my balled hands fidgety over my wet suitcase.

Under my glare, Fujino's hand tumbled a little, lowering in reluctance. The hesitance in her eyes now was the same look when she first met my eye in the police station. It must be that horrid quietness that filled the gap between us. Even if all of us were happy again after the Carnival was over, it was hardly anything but truce between Fujino and me. We never really talked for more than a few words at a time. Thinking back now, she rarely looked at me in the eye. Was she afraid? The Fujino was unsettled by me or by her ugly acts during the fiasco?

Either way, I knew I won.

She just quietly put the money in my hand and hailed a cab for us. Clutching the notes in my fist, I sprung up to my feet and hauled my broken suitcase with me, sharply pulling back when she tried to carry it.

Thirty minutes later, we reached the two-star motel, though it looked more like a guesthouse to me.

In the quiet, carpeted hallway, I stood in front of my room, she hers, which was opposite to mine. We looked at each other for a few seconds, unsure if we should deliver more mean words to each other or retire for the night.

"With all the works you're getting, I thought you already got a condo or something." I blurted out of curiosity.

"I got a shooting real early in the morning. Good night." With that, Fujino flashed the keycard and slipped into her room. I noted how dark it was, amazed that she was all alone.

My mind raced to put the pieces together as I took the hot, long shower. It struck me as odd that Fujino might still be tentative to make Tokyo home after all. She was even living alone after ditching Kuga.

I laughed to myself, letting the warm water filling up my mouth. Fujino was probably in the middle of decision making, cherishing Tokyo or rekindling with her dream girl. I'd make sure she got none of it.

The few knocks on the door snapped me out of my thoughts. Putting the white robe on, I scurried to the door, water dripping from my hair to the floor.

"Who is it?"

"It's me."

"Ho. Ho. And who is 'me'?" I made a funny face in mockery.

Silence. Fujino wasn't in the mood to play.

"Jeez, you're no fun!" Sulking, I swung the door open so fast my breast flashed from under the robe.

Fujino froze at the fleeting sight, but rapidly composed herself. Cursing under my breath, I quickly pulled the robe tighter. My teeth gritted, and she quickly cleared her throat before handing me a pile of clean clothes and a bottle of Tylenol.

"Two pills will do. Dry cleaning is on the ground floor. And…" She then slipped a Motorola cell phone into the pocket of my robe. "You could use it until you get your own."

I looked down at the things she prepared for me. She must have spotted my broken cell phone, which fell off my jacket during the fight. I grabbed the cell and held it up to inspect it. "Ew, this is last spring model."

Fujino took out a scratched, second-hand Nokia out of her pocket. It looked even more outdated than the one she offered me.

Seeing my expression, she nodded to herself and put the cell back into its previous hiding. "Very well. Now, a real good night, Yuuki."

I just watched her retreating back into her room and, by midnight, realized how I got through the rough day without saying 'Thank you' even once.

Lying on the bed, I glanced at the bottle of Tylenol, which I hadn't touched yet. Having been soaked in the rain for hours, from the fight in the street to the callously cold jail, I could feel my eyes hot and my body aching with discomfort. Deciding it was time, that Fujino was fast asleep and could not possibly hear any sound from my room, I reached for the bottle in paranoia.

Ring! Ring! Ring!

It must be her darn producer or whoever so self-important. I was green with envy, opting to ignore the call. She might get fired tomorrow.

Ring! Ring! Ring!

Fuckers. Biz people just couldn't be considerate, could they? They wanted it, and they wanted it now.

Answer! Answer! Answer!

"Jesus!" I heatedly grabbed the phone by the desk lamp, but stopped at the blinking words that read, 'Kuga Natsuki'.

"Good! Let it ring!" I got angrier now, tossing the phone to the end of the bed. Popping the bottle of Tylenol open, I popped two pills into my mouth and chewed them dry and fast. Fujino had at least two mobiles, and that dumb Kuga had to pick my number to harass tonight. As far as I knew, it wasn't the first call from Kuga that Fujino failed to answer, but l learned later on that it was the last.

Love! Love! Love!

I chewed some more pills. Okay. The call must be urgent, possibly something moronic like a declaration of love. I had the urge to storm into the room opposite to mine to wake that pale girl up so that we'd get all sleep-deprived together.

Ring! Ring—

"Screw you!" I reached for the mobile, but the phone stopped ringing then. It was the first time that the caller just cut the line, and I supposed it was the last for the night. I thanked Heaven for the silence and retired for the night.

The next few days went by in a rush. Running out of cash and still struggling to find a proper job in this big city, I opted not to pick up my old habit of luring men into the alleys, beating them up and stealing their money. Spending two hours in jail was more than what I bargained for. Having Fujino inform my mother of my failures was the last on my to-do list.

The other option left was to register for the Heavenly Night Call Center, ringing up my old clients, who would pay me for talking on the phone with them for hours on end. It was easy money with no hassle. No strings attached. It used to be my part-time job whenever I ran short of cash, and now seemed like one of those days again.

I didn't get to see Fujino at all, assuming she was busy shooting her debut movie with the handsome actor. I was hoping to catch a glimpse behind the scenes. Luck had it that I ran into her in the local supermarket near the motel at the end of the week. Unheeded to the passersby, we both stood in the middle of the aisle of canned food, reluctant to shorten the ten-step distance between us.

In her gray coat, Fujino looked ordinary with her hair slightly messy. She had successfully evaded any attention from the public with her no-makeup routine and plain clothes. Lightly swinging the empty basket, she took a few unsure strides towards me, and I her.

"Good evening, Yuuki…"

"Yeah, 'evening." Perking my chin up as a sign of curt greeting, I stuffed my hands in my pockets, clutching a few hundreds yens that I had left.

"It's my short break. I came back to get something I forgot… Did you have dinner yet?" She pretended to be interested in the items on the shelf, while I could sense her watching me from the corner of her eyes.

Much to my dismay, my stomach growled loudly in response.

"There's no point standing here. Let's go back to my room, shall we?" Fujino quickly grabbed a few packs of frozen food, and I could only follow her in a distance.

Fujino had only an hour to spare before she had to head back for more scenes tonight. I wondered how dominant her role was. She was supposed to be only a secondary character, just a new pretty face to serve Ueda Kaito's star power.

"Hmm. They added a few more scenes… Actually, Nobu-san had the writer rewrote the script…" She admitted over her steak, but without the arrogance I expected. She looked tired even.

It shouldn't be much of a surprise since at least four magazines on the shelf currently featuring her forlorn face on the covers. Her new series of eyewear commercials hotly grew the public interest in her. She was everywhere and nobody could look away.

"How does Ueda take it?" Raising a brow, I sipped my soup.

"He hates my guts. Well, who doesn't?" Fujino eyed me knowingly.

I flashed her back an equally shrewd smile. She laughed over the bottle of cold green tea and asked me if I'd like to tag along to the set. My wish was fulfilled.

Reaching the studio, she introduced me to her assistant, Nakano Mayu, who would be taking care of me around the set. Observing Mayu, I wondered if Fujino had a certain beauty standard in accepting an assistant.

"I got it. I wouldn't want you to go without it tomorrow," Fujino said, handing Mayu a lip gloss. So that must be what she went back to the motel for.

Mayu took a long look at the lip gloss in her hand. A smile graced her face as she nodded in a grateful gesture. "Should I say Ookini?" she shyly whispered. Having been around the model for months, Kyoto accent must be contagious somehow.

The shooting resumed.

"No! No! No! No! NO!" Brian Matsushita, the 57-year-old, half-American director, hot from last year's Cannes Film Festival for best director, yelled at the top of his lungs over the young actress in Ueda's arms.

Ueda rolled his eyes in boredom, letting go of Fujino like she was a hot pot, alarmed and disgusted. In turn, Fujino just stood there like a broken, telephone pole, seemingly blanked out by the director's disapproval.

"DO NOT SPEAK LIKE THAT! NO! How many times do I have to tell you!? Not with that freakin' accent! NO! I don't want a goddamn country girl in my movie! NO! Do you people understand me!? Anybody!? Am I speaking Japanese here!?" Brian turned in circle, pointing high and low at the actors and crews, and then rushed back to shout some more in Fujino's face. "I want you to be a city girl! NOW! I want you to act like a whore! NOW! I want you to act like you want to lick his balls! NOW!"

I compressed my lips to stifle my laugh when Fujino just blinked and then yawned before walking off the shooting area. The director was green in the face, barking nonstop to anybody around him, while Ueda just gave a sarcastic thumb-up to his costar's back. It was amusing to see how beautiful people were mostly assholes behind the scenes.

"YOU WILL NOT WALK AWAY FROM ME! NO!" Brian pushed one of the crews nearest to him. "GO GET HER! TELL THAT FAG TO COME BACK RIGHT NOW, OR SHE'LL BE REPLACED!"

The poor crew didn't make more than a few steps ahead before Fujino spun on her heels and ran back to the director, sliding on the floor to kneel right in front of him.

"I'm back, Brian-san! I'm back!" Fujino grabbed his legs, startling the old man. "Please, for the love of God, I need this job! I don't want to end up in the streets and—and I can't go back to my hometown like this! I'll do whatever—I'll speak it! I'll kiss—I'll fuck the way you want! Please!"

"You're still talking in that goddamn accent!" The director tried to back away from the girl.

Swearing under her breath, Fujino sprung up to her feet, sharply rolling her shoulders to loosen her jacket. Snatching the cigarette from a crew's mouth, she put it between her full lips, squinting in the pool of hot spotlights. In an easy feat, she could almost pass as a female Marlon Brando in his prime.

With a brooding look, Fujino circled around the bewildered director, hissing in his neck and babbling in fast tongue as she waved her hands in the air like a frantic Italian. Suddenly, she was possessed by the spirit of a Sicilian Mafia with the accent memorable from the Godfather trilogy.

The whole set was rolling in laughter. Nobody knew which direction this bizarre actress would take, but the temperature of the room kept rising and dropping, leaving us all chilled and anxious for her next move.

It wasn't over yet. It wasn't enough. The actress was on fire. She jumped onto the speaker, leaping from one to the other as she crooned 'Loco Amor' in perfect Spanish accent. Even if we couldn't understand its meaning, her melodic voice succeeded to delve us all into the painful hollowness of 'Crazy Love'.

When we were about to shed tears for the musical, tragic romance, she changed into a fast, jovial tune, switching her accent to South African English to strong Russian to thick Indian British. She was a natural chameleon. She was born to be 'someone else'.

The spectacle ended with a small, broken rap that would have earned Mike Shinoda's amused smile, Fujino came to stop in front of the wide-eyed director and spoke with a perfectly urban Japanese accent.

"Sad to say that you're fired," she stated in all her rights, assuming her utter importance.

After three weeks of suppressed frustration, the intentional use of undesired accent, the deliberate delivery of wooden acting, and, possibly, understated power struggle, the arrogant actress and the furious director stood face to face, their gazes locked in a deadly glare.

Just when the set became dead quiet, Suzushiro Nobu emerged from behind the crews, his shoulders shaking as he wiped his tears at the same time. The producer happened to find it awfully amusing, and only then that others began to laugh along with him.

Fujino's display prematurely ended the shooting that night, and we decided to stop by a ramen place before hitting the motel.

At the bamboo counter, we sat next to each other, a large bowl for each of us. I kept stealing glances at her over my ramen as she watched the TV stationed overhead the cook. National Geographic was on.

"Hmm… I… I tend to hum—when I get nervous," Fujino admitted over her food, her gaze dropping. It wasn't a hum, to say the least.

While Nobu was having a talk with the upset director, Fujino hid herself in the dark corner of the studio, slightly shaken, beads of sweat formed on her pale face. I must have mistaken her with the actress who had just rebel against her director, because I saw only a helpless teenage girl there. She hadn't realized what she'd done, who she really was, or even what she was capable of. She might not always use her energy wisely, but that was how she found herself on stage, struggling to secure her place in the real world.

"Come on. You were cool," I said, inwardly growling at my own encouragement that rarely ever happened. I then added with a laugh, "You got the bastard fired!" Fujino put on the brave front tonight while expecting to get fired herself. Like they said, you could win over anything but luck.

"Transferred," she corrected.

I shrugged. "Nicely put."

For a newcomer who hadn't been in a single movie, she succeeded to get Nobu to transfer the director to another movie. Nobody knew how she did it, but she just did it. And here she was, giggling at the TV like a child when a mother panda tripped over its baby.

"Where did the rap and shit come from? I kind of expected you to dance in that stupid kimono." Drumming my fingers on my full stomach, I took a sip of hot tea, mentally debating if I should order one more bowl.

"That should explain why I often left school matters to Haruka. I got too much time to kill," Fujino said with a tittering laugh.

"Rapping with the orphans?" I laughed aloud at the vision in my head.

But it must have been a foul joke that she just fell silent. It was best not to bring up any subject matter involving the past. Damage was done, and we cherished our new lives too much to risk the fresh wound.

On the walk back to the motel, we remained quiet, noticing people walking past and around us but unable to separate ourselves from the strangers. We were faceless creatures, just another empty shells moving through the night of this lively city.

Reaching the motel, I hastily retreated to my room, forgetting to thank her again for the meal.

The night was still young for me as I occupied my bed, responding to two clients. The job paid quite well as my only investment was late night coffee. Between me and the clients, we'd make up names to avoid identity blackmail. My clients ranged from dorky boys, who couldn't get girls to date, to perverted old men, who loved to fantasize my sensual voice, to bored housewives, who were desperate to seek female companions behind their husbands' back. The world was full of tricks and deceits, and I somehow felt belonged to be a part of it. Looking at them, I wasn't so bad after all.

But once in a long while, some nice people did show up with the same pain that mirrored mine. It was strange how I could share my misery back with some clients.

'Widowmaker. Line 2. Please wait.' At the automatic voicemail, I waited. Each call would be transferred through the call center, preventing the risk of revealing the real number. I even bought a new SIM card, not wanting to let anyone know that this was actually a famous model's phone number.

Huh, maybe I could sell it for some cash…

At four o'clock in the morning, the enthusiasm of receiving a nicknamed caller, 'Penumbra', whom I began to frequent back in school days, rid me completely of the fatigue.

'Don't say anything yet. Life sucks, but I'm back. You still like me, don't you?'

Grinning, I inwardly sighed in relief. It was good to hear from a friend again. While everyone else in the world even the anti-social like Kuga had a friend, I got only a handful of complete strangers to confide in. People would have laughed at me if they knew, and even I found it bitterly funny.

'How's your mom? School? Clubs? Ah, never mind those questions. Let's get straight to the more exciting stuff. Any boyfriend yet?'

Rolling on the bed, I stuck my tongue out. "I dropped it! Oh, I meant 'school', ha. It's only temporary though. Mom's fine. But, nope, no boyfriend. Relationship is for boring people. No offense. Oh, hey, I'm in Tokyo now! Imagine that! I'm going to be an actress!" I spoke with such excitement and conviction.

'That's awesome! Can I have your autograph in advance?'

I laughed. "What's that noise? How's it going for you, by the way?"

'Sorry—uh—it's my music. Don't we all just love music…? Oh, yes, it's been tough, but I'll get through. Believe me that it sucks to be—'

"It sucks to be us!" We both chanted in unison, chortling with each other. It used to be our life slogan, the secret code that only the two of us understood. Our call lasted for an hour before we bid good night.

It was the first happy night for me in Tokyo, and by morning, I was even merrier when I spotted Fujino's credit card slipped under the door. A small note that came with it read, 'Until you get a job'. Everyone had a weakness, even the perfect Fujino who could rap her director into oblivion. No doubt that the girl still felt guilty over her HiME lunacy, and I wasn't going to let the chance slip away. I took the shower, dressed up the best I could because I felt wonderful, and went out shopping like crazy. Tokyo wasn't so bad after all.

"I am her mother. Please let me talk to her," a woman, most likely in her early forties, pleaded to the security guard. The two were standing in the hallway in front of Fujino's room when I returned with several shopping bags.

The guard looked hesitant. "But, ma'am, we can't—"

"Get her to leave now!"

That was the first time I ever heard the former student council president yelled so in graceless manner. And I wasn't about to pry, entering my room without asking.

After I tried on all my new clothes and shoes to adore myself in the mirror, I went down to get some dinner from the supermarket a block away. Upon returning, Mrs. Fujino was still in front of the motel, a carry-on luggage in her hand. I would have just walked past her if not because of the forlorn look in her dark eyes that reminded me of my own mother's.

Inwardly grumbling with a heavy heart, I turned and walked up to her. "May I help you?"

Mrs. Fujino looked up, almost scared. It was the same flash of fear that I caught in Fujino's eyes, and it was the only thing they had in common. The woman was quite a few inches shorter than her daughter. Her skin was naturally darker, her brunette hair sporting some gray. Though she was in no way hideous, Fujino must have gotten her extraordinary traits from her father.

"I'm her friend—I mean I'm your daughter's friend."

"You… Are you Natsuki-chan?"

I knitted my brows. The chestnut-haired girl must have mentioned her former crush to her mother quite a few times that the woman recalled the name right off the bat.

I grinned. "How can I help you tonight?"

I took Mrs. Fujino in and treated her a nice dinner with her own daughter's money. In return, she treated me some beer and rice wine she got from the supermarket.

"Thank you so much," Mrs. Fujino muttered, seated by the small, round table.

I sat myself at the end of the bed, smiling. "No problem. You want me to get her here?"

Mrs. Fujino's head shot up. "Oh, no! Please, no… She'd be so angry if she knew…"

"Okay. Whatever." I mildly shrugged, not wanting to upset the woman anymore tonight.

Mrs. Fujino looked down for a long while, thoughts clouding her dark gaze.

"We… It was a terrible fight, Natsuki-chan… I—I'm telling you this because I know that she trusts you."

"Of course, she does," eyes narrowed, I said with a confident, but gentle voice, the professional tone that had won many clients' hearts.

"I… I filed for divorce from my husband about six months ago. It was awful." She shook her head, biting her lips. "Shizuru-chan came back to Kyoto, trying to sort things out for us, but… it only got worse. Then one day she just packed up and left. She just disappeared… I caught her on TV later on, but only found out about her staying here from an old neighbor of mine who still keeps in touch with her."

The woman looked up at me, and smiled, though faintly. "I'm so glad to see you here, Natsuki-chan. I'm very worried about her. Will you be her friend? Will you make sure she'll be all right?"

Raising my brows, I automatically straightened myself up in my pose, unwilling to promise anything. The information came rather startling—a tad too personal for me to get involved.

Mrs. Fujino rushed to me and clutched my hands. "I cannot reach her now, but I don't want her to be alone. She's so sad. She's still just a child."

"Err—I—I think she's old enough to take—"

The woman adamantly shook her head. "She's my only child. Please? She didn't have many friends, I could tell. She never talked about anyone but you."

"But—she can—she can take care of herself—Umm—" I stuttered, and then decided to shut up, not daring to take my hands off hers for fear that she might burst into tears.

Her cheeks reddened from a little too much sake, Mrs. Fujino smiled to herself, her eyes widened with life and energy. "Shizuru-chan was… She was a strange, but sweet kid, nonetheless. She'd ace any exam when she felt like it, or simply failed them all just to see my reaction." The woman chortled. "Oh, I spanked her really hard the first time around, but—but it didn't stop her. She did it again. I countered her challenge by treating her chocolate bars and plums. Those were her favorites. She never failed any class again. It was my fault that I never rewarded her anything when she topped the classes!"

"Weirdo," I mumbled, but quickly faked a friendly smile when Mrs. Fujino blinked at my remark.

As the night went on, Mrs. Fujino sat next to me on the bed with the bottle of sake in her hand, carried away by the happy old days. "She used to be a chatterbox, a very lovely, sociable girl," the old woman said, nodding.

Chuckling, I couldn't help but wonder where the quiet, tea-sipping routine came from.

"It was until she turned twelve. Something happened then, but I still don't know what…"

I snapped my fingers. "Puberty! She found out she's a fag, that's why."

"Pardon?" The woman looked confused, and I was relieved that she'd had too much alcohol to catch my words.

"Oh, yes, teenage years can be a very frustrating time, I understand completely," I said, smiling sweetly.

"I thought so, but she just… she became a recluse, which worried me greatly. I caught her talking to herself in the mirror or—or to the trees when she cared for the garden… She was so focused… almost trapped in her own little world that sometimes she wouldn't talk to anybody for a week straight. She even developed a phobia for snakes. She vomited, or even fainted when we took her to the zoo. It was strange. She was never afraid of anything before."

I took in a sharp breath at this. Mrs. Fujino obviously knew nothing of the strangest thing that was born with her daughter. Who would believe us now if we told them of our unwanted talents? It was a nightmare, a horrid tale untold. It was a life away, in which we gladly left behind.

Of course, Fujino feared nothing but herself, that fear, which none other but us could understand.

When the alcohol limit was hit, Mrs. Fujino's head flopped to rest against my shoulder, her lips mumbling. "It got worse and worse until we sent her to Fuuka Academy. I—I didn't want her to go, but we didn't know what to do. She called home from time to time. Her grades were quite good that we thought she was growing out of whatever problem she might have. She did, didn't she…?" Mrs. Fujino looked up at me, silent begging for the answer she was desperate to hear.

I knew only one way to respond to a motherly love, and that was a childlike smile. But as I grew older, those smiles were nothing but self-inflicted pain. I'd smile at my mother's stiff body. I'd pour out the spite I reserved for just anybody I came across as I fought my way into the hospital room when the nurses grew impatient of my untimely visits at night, just to smile at mother's bedside. I'd smile when I meandered alone in the alleys, failing to lure any victim, just to befriend the sharp night wind that no one else felt but me.

"Of course, Mrs. Fujino. She was the best student council president we've ever had. She even had her own fan club! Everyone adored her."

Legs crossed comfortably, I looked out the window to the city view below. My smile prompted the woman to sigh in relief. She had no idea that her daughter never grew out of it. She didn't know that her daughter died in the midst of madness, only to reborn again to another nightmare she was putting her through. She couldn't have imagined just what our supposedly most important persons did to us all.

Her eyes closed, Mrs. Fujino's hand tightened on mine. "My baby. My love… Oh, please, Natsuki-chan, would you be kind to her?"

I brushed my nose, staring up at the ceiling. "Maybe… Maybe I could use a friend…"

A friend…? I'll be damned…

That night, I watched the tired woman murmuring her daughter's name in her teary sleep. A cold beer in my hand, I had the cell phone near me even though I wasn't in the mood to receive any client tonight.

Luckily, only one call came in, and I thanked God that it was 'Chess', another friendly caller I frequented over the past year. The call lasted for an hour, and I hoped that I sounded cheerful. I sounded supportive and strong, while I just bent and crawled inside. I befriended the poor soul as I pondered endlessly if there was anyone out there who might return me the favor.

Apparently, kindness never came easy.

Sipping the beer, I looked at the door to my room, imagining the other door across the hallway. No one else in the world could have felt the same terror and isolation like we did, but then there was that hallway that set us apart—that thin line that prevented people from reaching out for each other. And we just watched days go by, living our lives for nothing. No one.

"Mom?" I dialed up my mother's home at three in the morning, but she shook off her sleep rather fast. "Yep, it's me. It's my new number—yeah, yes, I'm fine!" I quickly moved into the bathroom as not to disturb Mrs. Fujino.

"No! School is boring! I'm gonna get a job soon… Oh, mom…! No! I'm doing fine here! I'm with a friend, and she's helping me out… Uh—she was in our school, yeah…" I boasted a bit of information about the former student council president to acquire my mother's temporary relief. "She's taking good care of me. Don't you worry, ok…? Yeah, I'll do that… Ok… Next month…? Fine. Ok… Ok! Is that all?"

'One more thing, I love you, my sweet, little Nao.'

At those words, I stood up from the toilet seat. My feet were cold at the touch of the smooth, stony floor, but it felt warm all over inside. I let out a muted laugh of joy. "I miss you, mom."

The next morning greeted Fujino with loud banging on her door, but the girl wouldn't answer. Having called the assistant prior, I was certain that Fujino was still in the motel. She was on a break this week since the producer was still picking a new director.

"Please, Shizuru-chan, I need to see you." Mrs. Fujino pleaded to the closed door to her daughter's room, occasionally glancing back at me.

I waved, urging her to continue. "Louder. Louder."

"I—I'm here with Natsuki-chan! She—she thinks we should talk!" Mrs. Fujino followed the script I planned for her in the morning.

It was too easy. Fujino swung the door open right away, looking into the hallway for a sign of her best friend.

Aww, how sad!

When the puzzled Fujino turned to me for an explanation, I put up a grin and moved beside her, slipping my hand around her arm. "Rise and shine, my dear. Let's go have breakfast together."

Realized she had been played, Fujino tried to brush my hand off, but I tightened my grip.

Mrs. Fujino took a step back as she sensed her daughter's anger. Oh, the woman had no idea how terrifying her daughter could be when she was truly furious.

I then pushed Fujino into her room to have a quiet chat before she could botch my plan.

"What are you doing? Did you let her stay with you last night?" Behind the door, Fujino spun around to face me. Her voice was calm as always, but her gaze suggested otherwise. "Get out of here. Go back to Fuuka. I'm going to cancel your room—"

"Then I'm staying here with you. Your choice," I said with a shrug, and that somehow succeeded to stop her from pushing the operator button.

Staring at me, she shook her head with authority. "You will not stay with me, and you will make that woman go away."

"She's your mother. You make her go away."

Closing her eyes for a second, she spoke through her gritted teeth. Somehow, she took my gesture as a little payback. "I'm not in the mood to play with you. You took her in. It's your responsibility—"

"She just wants to spend some times with you—"

Fujino just wouldn't take it. She grabbed my arm, pulling me to the door, but I fought back before she could throw me into the hallway.

"Yuuki, I'm not going to repeat myself—"

"You don't know what you're doing. I lost my mother once, and I know nobody deserves that pain."

At the words, Fujino froze in her pose. Her hand eventually dropped.

Leaning back against the door, I crossed my arms across my chest. "We had a long chat last night. It was her talking, mostly."

She distanced herself from me, her gaze scrutinizing. We weren't the best of friends, but more like the worst of enemies. It didn't surprise me that she doubted my seemingly good intention.

"And… I could see just how much—how she is truly sorry and… God, I'm not doing this for you, just so you know." I gestured back at the door. Mrs. Fujino was still waiting in the hallway.

After a long, quiet moment, Fujino looked away and let out a heavy sigh. "I can't believe she told you."

Moving towards her, I merrily slipped my hand around her arm again. "I couldn't believe you were a chatterbox either." Her eyes widened, nervous of what more her mother might have let out. "Aw, let's get all sweet again, shall we? Let's be best friends today?" I grinned as I successfully hauled her to the door.

Fujino paused as soon as we got off the taxi and stood in front of an amusement park. Children, accompanied by their guardians, and teenagers flocked through the colorful-balloons decorated gate, chattering loudly.

Before she could turn away, I pulled her back to the previous spot. "Where do you think you're going?" I must have had the nastiest grin on my face when I caught her frantic gaze searching for the taxi we had just gotten off.

She glared back. "But you got an old woman here."

"An elderly and a child. How fitting."

At my remark, she sharply pulled her arm back. Taking in a deep breath, she marched forth into the park. But with the brave front she was putting up, all she did was getting two caramel-dipped apples (all for herself), while following me around with no intention to get on any carnival ride, or talking to her mother for the matter. She just ate and turned a blind eye to everything around her.

It was one thing to walk along the streets and be occasionally flattered by strangers' admiring gaze. But it was far more exciting to be the center of attention every step you took, and it was true when walking side by side the young model. While Fujino just kept her attention on the sweets, paying no mind to the constant looks from passersby, I immensely enjoyed the spotlight.

With both her hands full, I took the opportunity to wrap my arms around her and put my hands on her tight ass, fumbling for a purse in the back pocket of her jeans. People were giggling at us, and I took my time. I chortled when she could only glower at me, growling in her throat with a big bite of the sweet apple in her mouth.

"Found it," I said with a wink, picking the purse off the pocket and sprinting to the ticket counter. I bought the full-option tickets for three. We could get on any ride for as many times as we wanted.

"I'm staying here," Fujino stated clamly.

I turned from the ticket counter and horror washed over my face when I saw a hot bag of jumbo-size popcorn in her hands. "Jeez, you pig. Shouldn't you be a little more careful with what you eat?"

Fujino just popped some more popcorn into her mouth. She didn't seem to care. In fact, she didn't even care to dress up. All her clothes that I had seen were rather cheap and plain. I even brought more from Fuuka than what she had in the closet now.

"Whatever. But your mommy is coming with me." I pushed through and grabbed Mrs. Fujino's hand. The woman timidly glanced between her daughter and me, unsure whom to please.

"She's too old for this. Yes, definitely too old for this. Hmm." Fujino kept her face calm, talking as if the old woman wasn't even there. But for all the cold front she put on, she followed us to the rollercoaster line, finishing the popcorn even before our turn.

It dawned on me now that the graceful icon of Fuuka Academy not only sang when nervous, but ate like a cow as well. For all the kung fu fighting and slaying monsters in the old days, I'd never have expected her to fear carnival rides. But one never knew when it was Fujino. She appeared and vanished when you least expected it. She could give you anything with no hesitation, or just take everything you ever had without conviction. She loved and hated like no one could.

And she probably had a box of chocolate hidden somewhere in the student council room that even Suzushiro Haruka never caught it.

It was our turn. Fujino grumpily sat herself next to me, leaving her mother to the row behind us. I shook my head in shame. Her persistence only reminded me of Kuga, and I started to ponder how alike and different the two were. No wonder they still hadn't talked after all these months. I remembered that Kuga did call once, but Fujino? Great. As long as I was her best friend here, I owned the purse.

The rollercoaster sped up and, as I feared, the singing began, as a humming at first but then intensified into an opera concerto that the people in the rows before us turned to glance at us in absolute terror.

Embarrassed, I slapped my hand over her face. "Shut your fucking mouth!"

Nodding adamantly, Fujino bit my fingers until the ride was over.

"Gosh! Let go! I said, 'Let go'!" I tried to yank my hand off her mouth when the cars skidded to stop along the platform again. It was one of the few times that I did not like being in the spotlight. People were gawking at us, murmuring and pointing.

Apathetic to the onlookers, Fujino unfashionably licked my fingers before releasing them. "They're salty," she commented loudly with a smirk on her face. And I only realized then that she never had the fear for carnival rides. It was only to humiliate me for being nosy about her family matter. Fine! I'd take anything that was free.

I jumped off the car and pointed up at the sky with my redden finger. "To the next ride!" My announcement garnered the bewildered look from poor Mrs. Fujino.

Though Fujino still kept her silence, she offered a hand to pull her mother onto the platform, but immediately released the woman's hand as soon as they were both firm on the ground.

After another wild ride, I decided to give Mrs. Fujino a break. She appeared fine, almost eager now, but I wouldn't want to rush it. When the clouds started to gather into one vicious gray wall above, we headed to the giant carousel instead. Mrs. Fujino relaxed on the back of the red-haired mermaid, muted in her shameful love. A hand gripping the vertical rail, Fujino looked almost distraught on the black horse, uncertain where the fiery steed would lead her. And, I, contented with a can of coke in my hand, seated myself in Cinderella's pumpkin, hoping that I'd still have the credit card when midnight turned.

"Do you come here often, Natsuki-chan?" Mrs. Fujino asked.

I looked up and caught a brief glance from Fujino. "Nope. It's our first date here. Right, Shizuru?" I then laughed at her glare. The girl still wouldn't interact in any way, not even to correct me.

Mrs. Fujino was dumbfounded. "A… a date?"

"A friendly date," I said, narrowing my eyes.

"Ah." Mrs. Fujino nodded, but did not look very convinced.

Fujino just puffed, gobbling up the pink cotton candy.

Mrs. Fujino took one glance at her daughter, but dared not to carry on the subject. A mother always somewhat sensed what went on with her children, but the reason for silence was possibly her own fear to confront the truth. The Fujino family had too much on their plate right now that it was appropriate to drop the inquisition. For now.

"Wait…what…" Fujino griped in a hushed tone when the black horse, along with some others, suddenly turned 180 degrees, prompting her to face the mermaid now. I did very little to suppress my laugh at the sarcastic expression of 'Great!' on her face.

Taking my eyes from the grumbling knight on the stallion, I turned to Mrs. Fujino. "How do you like the rides so far? Are you all right with it?"

The old woman smiled warmly. "It's been very exciting. Thank you, Natsuki-chan."

I extended my leg out of the pumpkin to tap against the horse's butt. "She here seems to enjoy it, too. Right? Right, Shizuru?"

No reaction. Fujino was racing against time to finish the cotton candy before the ride was over.

Mrs. Fujino had an eager smile on her face, but then her lips slowly lost its curl and her face saddened. "Uh… Yes… Yes, Shizuru-chan loved carnival rides. She would… She used to go to amusement parks every other weekend. I preferred her to stay home and do homework, but she insisted that without the seasick, she'd be too calm to think. She always had her way." Mrs. Fujino spoke quietly, her gaze drifting out the drizzle that had built up into a downpour.

Suddenly, Fujino seemed to have lost interest in the candy. With the sticky stain of sweets on her cheeks, she just stared at it, absorbed and lost in the colorful cloud in her hand. She did not object her mother in telling the story. She did not move or speak. Perhaps, it was something she had forgotten long ago that she couldn't tell if it was anybody important.

"She loved the height, the speed and the laughter it brought. She'd ask to be lifted up by the hands and swung her around… spinning around and around, and she'd laugh," Mrs. Fujino continued. "She loved to be in constant motion, you see. She'd chase and then hide… She loved to love and be loved…" The woman tittered and said, "And I only remembered all of this the day I left my husband…"

In the quietness amidst the dreamy melody blaring from the speakers atop the carousel, Fujino just bent forward, burying her face in her arms, resting against the horse. She was perfectly still that I couldn't tell if she was crying or even breathing. Only the carousel was in motion. Only time that would not stop turning.

Mrs. Fujino watched her daughter with tears in her eyes, but made no move to get off the mermaid. There was the land she was meant to go. "I never wanted to hurt anyone, but… but sometimes people lost their ways… sometimes… and there's the path each of us must follow…"

Ignoring the drizzles of rain along my arm, I lifted my right hand up to observe my polished nails. It took me a few moments before I asked, "…You're ready to go on even if your path may never meet hers again?" My curiosity always came out cold.

Mrs. Fujino's reply came in a murmur. "We'll meet again… when we're both hurt and healed."

And I realized then that Fujino and her mother had more in common other than fear. Though born a generation apart, their journeys began together. They just couldn't run away anymore.

The carousel eventually ceased to move. We got off our fairytale ride and stood by the platform against the angry storm. When the water level rose to an inch, there wasn't a point to wait any longer. Fujino took off her jacket and hover it above her mother's head, and her soft pull motioned me to come close. Close enough that her perfume bothered my senses, the trails of rain trickling down her neck nearly dripped into my eyes. Without much thought, I wrapped one arm around her waist, sensing her shiver from the cold, my other hand clutching, almost pulling the front of her soaking, white t-shirt. Under the jacket, the three of us walked through the rain and left.

Having made a stop at the motel to get Mrs. Fujino's belonging, it was still raining when we reached the train station. Not a word had been said since we left the amusement park. Along the platform, we stood by the open door of the Shinkansen, idled by the cold air, but secretly thrilled at the thought of a clearer sky after the storm. When the train operator announced its departure, Fujino handed the luggage to her mother, the woman promptly accepting and nodding.

Mrs. Fujino entered the train and looked back with the longing and determination in her eyes. I glanced at the pale girl beside me, my heart beating faster in anticipation. But Fujino didn't do so much as to stare back at the woman with her impassive gaze, her hands rolled into a ball in the pockets of her jeans.

The last announcement for departure came and, as unemotionally as always, Fujino took her attention off her mother and pulled out her cell phone, seemingly ready to get on with her business. I almost growled at her stubbornness, only to be taken aback when I caught Mrs. Fujino's cell phone ringing.

Fujino looked up again. "When we're both hurt and healed," she said, flipping her cell phone close.

The door to the train slid shut. Clutching her phone, Mrs. Fujino leapt to the window, pressing in to get a clearer look at her daughter. A small smile of hope flashed across her face before the train left the platform.

When Fujino's hands were free from the suitcase, I gave her back the soaked jacket. As we walked off the station, the sky began to rid itself off the gray. I squinted up to the bright light, Fujino glancing my way and smiling.

"What?" I sulked. My extra sensitive consciousness hated it when people found me funny without an explanation.

Fujino just marched ahead into the busy street, and I followed to match with her pace, not entirely blinded by the sight of milling crowd ahead, but perhaps by the little contentment sprung from my first achievement in Tokyo.

Fujino's first, golden accomplishment in the big city was finally becoming into reality. The filming of 'Codename: Black' was set to wrap in two weeks. It had been going smoothly since Brian was gone, and Ueda was the problem that grew less in concern each day passed. All attention was spent on the young actress instead. I didn't want to believe that Fujino had calculated beforehand that this movie was Nobu's master plan for her. 'Codename: Black' was an action-pack movie, the genre that didn't require audiences to think much but to be there and enjoy the sexy look from the actress from time to time, all muddy, hot and sweaty.

She was right: everyone was replaceable but her.

In her motel room, where I began to frequent as of late, I bounced on the bed with a rainbow-colored lollipop, gaining weights as my full-time job.

"Ara…" Fujino grumbled in front of her laptop over the loss of a game of Dominoes. It'd astonished me that not only she was staying in a less-than-five-star motel, this laptop worked like an old horse, ready to die any second. It was very likely secondhand, an older model than the one she used to have in Fuuka. It was even a greater wonder to me that she'd rather spend her time sipping tea and playing games online instead of partying with other celebrities and getting all sexed up to get more jobs.

Lazily, I flipped through the small booklet for a rent somewhere in the outskirt of Tokyo. But the future did not look so bright after all; I first needed to land a few jobs in order to get my own place.

Fujino's brows then came together in a serious look as she checked her email inbox for the fifth time in an hour. "Hmm. Nobody misses me."

My phone rang, and I gave her a smirk. "Looks who's popular here." Picking up the phone, I tossed away the booklet.

Fujino shot me a sideway glance, finishing her tea and starting another game.

"Mai? Good gracious…! Yeah, I'm fine… Right, I'll make sure you'll get it by tomorrow morning… Oh, yeah, that's right… Did she tell you that…? Uh-huh… That's cool…" As I lied on the bed, sucking the lollipop, I failed not to take note of Fujino's expression. Nothing unexpected; it was always unreadable. "How's everything over there? How's Kuga?"

Fujino scratched her neck at my last question, but appeared uninterested.

"Oooooh, my! Really!? I can't believe this!"

Fujino rubbed her eyes a few times, fixing her gaze on the screen still.

"Woooooooow! How cute! She's so lucky!"

Fujino cleared her throat, and then got all cranky why the mouse wasn't working. Of course, she wouldn't know. She was so anxious about the content of my phone conversation that she started clicking the right mouse button instead.

"Awwwwwwwww! They must look lovely together! Send me some pictures!"

Shooting up to her feet, Fujino pushed the chair out of her way and stalked across the room to get her jacket.

Springing up from the bed, I put my hand over the cell phone for a second, preventing Mai from hearing. "Where are you going!?" I hissed.

"I'm going to get a new mouse. Send my regards." With that, Fujino left the room.

I sank back down on the bed and pressed the phone closer to my ear. "Oh, my God. How did this happen? Who is he? How did they meet?"

'He's—uh—a classmate of mine.' Mai sounded a little guilty over it, but I figured I wasn't the first to know this bit of gossip. This was probably the only downfall for having been away from Fuuka. 'I just thought he's a nice guy, and he's cute. Loads of girls fancy him. Yuuichi knows him, too. He's already in college, and I thought that he might be mature enough to deal with Natsuki. She seems to be Okay with him.'

"Oh, she is?"

'Well, you could say that she's been better than the past months. She's hanging out with us again, which is good. Not just staying home or watching the same DVD every night. So I guess that's an improvement.'

I cocked my head to the side, sincerely amazed. "Gee, was she that bad?"

'How's Shizuru-san? Would you please tell her to give Natsuki a call?'

I knitted my brows. "Why wouldn't you tell her yourself?"

'Umm—why wouldn't you?'

"Why wouldn't you?"

In some way, Fujino's aloof exterior managed to fend off people to an extent. Kuga used to be the only one who could penetrate through her shell, but ironically, the girl needed help now.

'Because you're with her, Nao-chan,' Mai said. 'It's just easier. Plus, I don't really want to nag Shizuru-san to do something she doesn't want to.'

"See. If she doesn't want to call, she won't call. Who am I to tell her to do anything?"

'But—but it wasn't supposed to be this way—'

"Do not take back what you've done, Tokiha Mai!" I laughed.

Exasperated, Mai wondered aloud. 'Why wouldn't she just call? Now, I'm not sure if they fought or something. Natsuki wouldn't say anything.'

I didn't know how to explain it without revealing Fujino's dilemma. While Fujino ran away to seek solitude, unintentionally carried away by the world's challenge, Kuga lost the will to wait. But it did little to astonish me. We were young and fickle, and reality had not always been kind.

"Don't you think Kuga is better off with a guy? I doubt Fujino just wanted to be her fucking roommate for the rest of her life." I sucked the lollipop dry.

'You may be right. I don't even know if Natsuki just misses a friend or… Oh… ' Mai became quiet for a moment and then whispered, 'I have to go now, Nao-chan. She's here. Talk to you later.'

Fujino returned a few hours later with a box of PlayStation 3 and a few games. That thing had to be the most expensive and new of all her possessions here. It was what stress could do to people: shopping.

Without a word, she hooked up the machine and started playing a boxing game, getting all grouchy and violent. I sat myself next to her and joined the game without an invitation I never needed. She only grew more upset when I beat her in every match that I couldn't stop laughing.

"Go back to school, Yuuki. There's nothing for you to do here," Fujino said, her gaze fixing on the TV screen. Now, she wanted to rid the world of everyone, ready to go into seclusion again.

"I promised mom to go back soon, but I could use a little cash before going home." Giggling, I gave her 'Ali' a hard punch in the face, beating her with a K.O. again.

She put the console down, glaring at me. "Maybe I should send her last month's credit card bill to let her know what you've been up to."

"Oh, come on. Don't take out your frustration on me. I got some news concerning Kuga, by the way," I said and winked, causing her to tense up all of a sudden.

I demanded a job in exchange of the bit of phone conversation I just had with Mai. Fujino didn't exactly comply outright, but she got me a small advertisement job a week later, thanked to Mayu, the endearing assistant of hers. As promised, I returned Fujino with the cover-up story of Kuga having a nice and cozy picnic with Yukariko-san's baby instead. She seemed to buy it, relieved that nothing out of ordinary was going on with her best friend.

By the time 'Codename: Black' was wrapped, the public demand for the taciturn model was out of control. Endless calls from various magazines, TV shows and famous brands of just about anything the market had, inundated Nobu with requests for an interview or even just a glimpse of the young model in flesh. Ueda Kaito went mad to have been billed alongside, not above, the no-name actress.

'This is where it happened, right in front of the 11th Suzushiro Medallion Production Studio, where cameras and photographs are strictly prohibited. We believe that the notorious, 5-second video clip of the model caught coming out of the main entrance was taken from this very spot. The said video clip had unbelievable number of downloads in just a few hours after uploading that it crashed Youtube, unfortunately,' a beautiful, Channel 5 reporter spoke to the camera.

That was supposed to be all the news was. However, all false was laid upon the cameraman.

Thinking the camera was already killed, the reporter turned to her peer. 'What's her name again?'

After a while, the cameraman replied, 'Don't know. It starts with 'S' though.'

'S? She's American?'

'Don't know. Probably some Euro trash.'

The meaningless banter between the reporter and the cameraman was aired that night, and by next morning, the whole nation knew the model by the letter only. The production house insisted Nobu have the film changed its title to 'She' to accompany the rise of 'S'.

The star was born.

"I hope you remember that the movie premier is tomorrow night, S-san," Nobu said, gaily pacing around his office to sort out some documents from the rows of untidy shelves.

Seated beside the actress, I glanced at her at the name the producer suddenly produced to call upon her. Fujino compressed her lips as not to laugh aloud.

"But we decided to have some little fun tonight. There will be a private party for the casts and crews at Ueda-kun's penthouse. You're invited as well, Yuuki-chan." Nobu turned to grin at us. I also got the golden treatment for being a friend of 'S'.

"NO PARTY! ABSOLUTELY NO PARTY!" Haruka burst through the door, and we wondered just how much of the conversation she overheard us from outside the door. Probably not much. "THAT BASTARD—"

"Haruka-chan, not here!" Yukino hurriedly moved beside her friend, shooing her to keep her voice down. The clerks out in the hallway were glancing at them.

"Oh, Haruka, you're here." Nobu smiled fretfully.

Haruka paid no attention to her uncle, entered the office and slammed the door behind Yukino. "That bastard hates you, and I suspect illegal activities, or even harmful intent to hurt you or your reputation. You are not allowed to go," Haruka said with finality.

"Umm, S-san, Ueda-kun cannot possibly plan to hurt you. He'd be your—umm—your date at the premiere—"

"Date!?" Haruka and I blurted out in unison, almost in disgust.

Fujino carelessly spun on the revolving chair to face me. "You want him for yourself? You got it," she said and then stood up. On her way out, she greeted Yukino and both of them just left together. Haruka and I gave one look at Nobu and scurried after them.

"Please remember the premiere!" That was the last thing we heard from Nobu's office.

It was almost six o'clock when the four of us strolled along the street just outside Nobu's building. Yukino thought up a plan and took us to a nice, alfresco bistro on top of a skyscraper. I wouldn't have been allowed to get in (for my sandals) if not because of Haruka's influential surname.

"To your last day of freedom." Yukino flashed an eager smile, raising the glass of champagne.

By the time 'She' was released tomorrow, Fujino would no longer be her own master but the public's person. Without much thought, she raised her glass with a wide smile, her gaze looking unfamiliarly soft under the pool of yellow light from the fancy lamps decorated along the deck. She was impossibly ecstatic, giddy like a child in her chair, talking more than usual. The film was a big step, and she had all the reasons in the world to be proud of herself. For once, she let people in on her true feelings and, more importantly, let herself liking who she was.

"Cheers!" Four of us softly clinked our glasses against one another.

We proceeded to order some food, admiring the marvelous, night view of Tokyo in the meanwhile.

"What are you going to do with Ueda-san tomorrow? Will you go to the premiere?" Yukino asked Fujino in concern, but almost choked on her drink when the blonde girl interrupted.

"THAT IS NOT A QUESTION. SHE MUST ATTEND THE PREMIERE," Haruka declared.

Other customers briefly glanced at our table, but returned their attention back to their own business with discretion.

"Of course, I'll go." Shaking her head in amusement, Fujino fished out her Nokia from her pocket, her brows furrowing as she punched in a few buttons.

"But Ueda-san won't take too kindly of your refusal if you—"

"He can go with the producer's niece," I teased, but earned a hurt look from Yukino instead. "Hey—hey, I was just kidding!"

It was no secret among our circle of friends how Yukino felt towards Haruka, but the blonde still didn't respond. Haruka now even turned a deaf ear to my joke, trying to strike up a futile chat with Fujino, who at the moment was preoccupied with her phone. It must be the cruelest kind of love: to make the other party wait for an answer that might never come.

My gaze wandered to Fujino and then back at Haruka. God, these two…

"Your mother called the other day, Nao-chan," Yukino said, sipping her drink. "She said she'll be staying at her friend's home until Tuesday. She said she'll cook you a homecoming meal!"

"Whatever. I already got the ticket. I'm not gonna waste it," I grumbled. For some reason, my mother found it more reliable to communicate with Yukino or Mai than talking to me directly.

Fujino looked up from her cell. Tonight was one of those few times she didn't care to hide her evil grin. "I'm sorry I won't be able to send you off, Yuuki. Busy."

"You'll miss me. I know you will," I stated, gulping down the drink.

Haruka looked genuinely interested in our little exchange, which perhaps related to her own personal issue. "You know you guys sound like a couple ready to divorce."

Fujino raised her brows. "How do happily-in-love people sound like then?" She eagerly turned to me, her voice perfectly mimicking the blonde's. "WOULD YOU BE MY WIRE? WOULD YOU MERRY ME?"

I burst out laughing, leaving Haruka confused and Yukino blushing like mad. "Your accent is wicked!"

"I wasn't finished. I said you guys sound like a couple ready to divorce but are still very much in love," Haruka commented and then turned to the glasses girl with a proud look on her face. "I am right, aren't I, Yukino?"

I couldn't decide if it was the fact that someone as clueless as Haruka pointed it out, or the meaning of the statement that had left me dumbfounded.

Deep in thought, Yukino ticked her chin with her finger. Her best friend had been doing a lot of thinking concerning the subject of love lately. "Well, according to your description, Haruka-chan, I'd say Mai and Yuuichi would fit it. They fight a lot, but we all know that they love each other."

"Pffft! They're just boringly in love." I made a mocking face.

Fujino leaned closer to me with a smirk. "You suppose we could do better?"

A strange feeling stirred in my stomach at her careless mock, and I was thankful for the dimming light from the lamps since my cheeks suddenly felt hot for no reason. It must be the champagne, and I hastily poured myself another glass.

"Kuga and Matsuoka is what I call 'boring'. They're way too perfect!" Haruka's take on relationship caused everyone to fall silent.

Fujino's gaze that was fixing on me looked empty. Her hand consciously lowered from the table and hid the mobile below the white tablecloth. And it hit me then who she was planning to take as a date tomorrow night instead of Ueda. But the plan was bombed in mid-air like an airplane being shot down by an unintended, friendly fire.

Frantic, Yukino looked at me for a sign. She must have thought that I somehow had already slipped this bit of information to Fujino. I could only respond with a guilt-ridden look.

Fujino turned to the blonde with a masochistic smile. "Matsuoka?"

Haruka roared out her trademark laugh. "Oh, didn't you hear that they're the dream couple of Fuuka now!? The handsome prince and the pauper! She's broke. Reito said something like she's moving in with him—"

"Look, Haruka-chan, the dinner is served! Don't you love the steak!?" Yukino blurted out, her fidgety hands lingering along the edge of the table.

"Yeah, I do," Haruka replied, puzzled.

We all quickly started our dinner for fear of another wave of Haruka's report. Fujino didn't speak anymore during the meal, and it was her who ordered more champagne to fill in her silence.

It didn't take long before our dinner was over. Taking her time, Fujino wiped her mouth with the napkin and put it down beside her full plate. She then politely excused herself. With reluctance, I looked up and caught the unfamiliar flash of pain in her eyes that I had never seen before: not the dejected, empty look she harbored during the Carnival, but the wordlessly blatant kind that felt almost like a flesh wound. Strangely, with her mask crumbling apart, she looked alive more than ever. And I couldn't help but follow suit.

We didn't stop at the motel, but the airport instead. She remained absolutely quiet even when I jumped into the cap with her, or stood next to her by the ticket counter. I had no intention to leave until she'd get me a ticket. Persistent that I was, our plane took off to Fuuka in less than two hours.

It was almost midnight when we reached Kuga's apartment complex, but only faced a disappointment when the card over the postal box of Kuga's room was replaced by someone else's name instead. Evidently, Kuga had rented out her apartment. I must have been too preoccupied with my own ambitious plan to escape this small town that I neglected the bits and details of our friends.

I rang Mai up, hoping the girl could clarify something for us.

'Oh, she's moved in with me for a month now. Umm. Are you Okay, Nao-chan?'

"Yeah, we're good. We're in Fuuka now. Where the hell is she?" I glanced over at Fujino, who was occupying the left end of the crimson sofa in the lobby. She was displeased of what was happening, namely her lack of knowledge of her best friend's recent activities. Of course, she had cut everyone out of her life (with the exception of Haruka since no one could possibly succeed in doing so), and as luck would have it, Kuga was too busy to care.

Mai squealed at our sudden arrival, shouting to her boyfriend and Mikoto to inform them of the impending doom. 'There's a birthday party at one of his friend's. They left just an hour ago!' she reported, adding quickly the address to the residence. Her voice sounded too excited to know that her roommate would be in serious trouble now.

Hanging up, I grabbed Fujino's hands, literally pulling her slouchy form from the sofa. "Hurry up! I know where they are now!"

But she appeared stoic, her gaze filled with uncertainty. "I think I should leave."

My mouth hung open in disbelief. "You mean to tell me that you wasted two plane tickets to just sit around in a goddamn lobby and pity yourself?"

Fujino stopped and then stepped closer that she could stare me down her nose. "Pity? I don't need anybody's pity." She stood tall with her bitter honesty, her usual defense completely ignored. Her tone was harsh and full of scorn, her eyes hiding no resentment. And, for a second, I thought I was Ueda in the love scene of 'She' when Fujino's character tried to make him hate her.

"No, you don't need pity. You need love!" I burst out the cheesiest line the movie came up with.

Fujino's brows came together in bafflement. "Excuse me?"

Sweating at my own little obsession, I blindly grabbed her hand and dragged her fast out of the lobby.

For the past months, I visited the studio nearly everyday, watching the actors and remembering the lines they spoke so accurately I repeated them in my showers. They were a handsome couple, and even if they hated each other off-screen, their on-screen chemistry could fool the world.

I'd find a spot behind the crews and lean against the wall in a corner. I'd let myself be taken away by their portrayals of heroic ideals, passionate struggles and bruised kisses. All of this because their professionalism managed to make the façade of Love appealing even with all the ugliness behind it. All of this because it made people forget for a few moments how cruel reality could be.

And, of course, I wasn't about to let anyone know of my fixation more than I had let out.

Mission accomplished. The taxi came to stop along the curbside a block away from the targeted residence. It was a comfy home with a backyard large enough to accommodate a few dozens of guests. The birthday guy was also a friend of Yuuichi, and Mai had mentioned that his parents had left their home all to him and his friends tonight.

In the dark, Fujino and I crawled along the bushes to get around to the back of the residence, watching the people on the other side of the fences having their good time. I couldn't help but inwardly grin at our little spying game. Soon, we spotted our target sitting among several college boys and girls, looking rather detached from any conversation around her. With a handsome man beside her (who could be no one but Matsuoka), Kuga would give an awkward smile whenever someone spoke to her, or just remained quiet as she sipped her drink. In the very least, the girl managed not to look bored.

With her silky hair hanging down to her back, Kuga looked fashionable in her comfortable attire. She even had some mild makeup on, which flattered her with a sultry air of a young woman. Her eyes sparkled darkly, her appearance almost too sensual to be her. Tonight, she looked nothing like I had remembered.

With a proud smile on his face, Matsuoka made it clear, having one arm around his girlfriend, his other hand over her lap. Clean-shaven, he had neatly trimmed, short, dark hair. His eyes were bright and sweet, virtually a tease. He was a muscular man, his height definitely above average Japanese men. For all the mental insults I'd thrown at her before, Kuga's taste really wasn't bad at all.

But with all the trouble we went through, Fujino just crouched behind the bushes and, from the look of it, sneaking a peek at the dark-haired girl was probably all she'd do tonight. Was she taken by the change in Kuga's look, or was she intimidated by the handsome man beside the girl?

"Oh, please. Aren't you gonna go to her?" I inquired, deeply amused.

Fujino's gaze dimmed, momentarily looking away from the party.

"Just walk up there and announce yourself." I nudged her with a sly smile.

No response. Catching the jaded look in Fujino's eyes, I wickedly wished that Matsuoka would just seat his girl on his lap. Suddenly, the confident actress I knew in Tokyo just disappeared. I had to wonder what it took her to do all the things she did during the Festival—all the shameless declaration of love and absurd persistence to win over Kuga's heart and body. It was so unlike her to hide behind some trees, afraid to step out to claim her possession. And I really wanted some gossips before going home tonight.

The party grew a little wilder, the music just a tad louder, and the people were little drunker than the parents must have anticipated. I couldn't fathom why Fujino found the bushes more appealing to be than in the party. They would have welcomed her for her celebrity status alone. Perhaps, it'd take another doomsday to give Fujino a kick in the ass.

The moment came when the capricious Matsuoka stood up and took his stoic lady in his arm, his friends whistling at his move. His hands were all over her back, coaxing her to dance along with him. Her arms tightly and stiffly wrapped around his neck, she was so focused on her moves that she always stared down at her own feet, annoyed that her steps were out-of-sync with the music playing. The intensity in her attempt to enjoy life was palpably painful, lacking all subtlety as always. For whatever Kuga's intention was, uncertainty always abided hope in a broken heart, whether it was welcomed or not.

My teeth gritted in an unwelcome sensitivity. Tonight, not only the iconic Fujino was hiding in the shadow like a coward, the virtuous Kuga was acting like a whore. And when Matsuoka kissed his girl, I found myself getting all sentimental for no reason.

Fujino yet again failed to respond to the scene before her. Her arms folded neatly on her lap, her eyes never left Kuga as the boy bent a little to peck on his girlfriend's lips. Her gaze was intent, but patient, as if to take in every detail of the couple's increasingly audacious hand movements over each other. There was neither sign of anger nor remorse in her facial expression, but an observant one. She didn't even blink. It must have been a sort of masochistic self-abuse to have watched the scene so faithfully like that.

After a short while, Matsuoka ended the dance and turned to his friends to speak something we couldn't catch under the music. We only caught his friends' abrupt whistles and laughter, added with the reluctant look on Kuga's face. Waving goodbye to the birthday man, Matsuoka escorted his girlfriend out of the residence, heading towards his car parked along the curbside.

I arched my neck, ready to scream. "FUJI—"

All of a sudden, Fujino shot up from behind the bushes, leafs spurting all over her. Charged with unknown energy, she ran headfirst out of the backyard.

I soared after her, and then decided to do something Fujino was unwilling to. "KUGA! STOP!"

But the couple got into the car, failing to catch my shout. Fujino raced into the street, but tripped and slid down the pavement, hitting her head on the cement instead. Oddly, she appeared drunker than everyone else in the party.

"Jesus!" I rushed to the prone form on the sidewalk, pulling her up.

Seeing Matsuoka's car speeding off, Fujino didn't take the time to register the fall. With my help, she got up in her swaying pose to chase after the vehicle. She ran and ran. There was no shouting. No begging. The only sound coming out of her was the ragged breathing that eventually grew louder into a pant when her legs failed to move further, her lungs needing a breath. I skidded to stop and collided into her back, stumbling us both to the ground.

"Ouch… Ah… Jeez…" I panted as I regained my composure.

Lying flat on her stomach, Fujino now took in the air she needed. She didn't display any annoyance at my clumsiness, only staring at the sight of the car that ultimately turned away at a small intersection.

After a moment of silence, Fujino got up to her feet and idly turned to walk away, stopping momentarily due to the gentle pull from my hand. There was an agonizing moment of long silence and contemplation. Her gaze traveled back and forth between the direction the car went and the reverse end. It was nearly two o'clock in the morning, but she was untouched by the cold night wind. Even if the world was falling apart, she couldn't be hurt anymore than this. She nodded as if to convince herself of some unspoken resolution and took a step into the opposite direction, rubbing where her head had hit prior in an uncharacteristically dazed manner.

Fujino eventually vanished down the slope. In Fuuka, she came quietly and disappeared as such. In a matter of months, Kuga already had something else in mind. It was almost certainly wise to leave it behind now than to endure the trial and be hurt even deeper later on. Fujino didn't particularly fancy the idea of ending up like her father.

"Just when Kuga and the prince left the party, Fujino got up and jumped over the fence, shouting for her love!" I raised my hand up, dramatic in my pose.

"Awwwwwwwwwww." Mai and Aoi dreamily squealed at my so-called recollection of last night's event.

Tate, Shiho, Reito, Mikoto, Midori, Akane and Chie sat themselves on the carpeted floor, surrounding me, their mouths open in anticipation. Akira was sitting on Takumi's lap, attentive to my tale. Thanked to Mai, they all had learned about Fujino's brief presence in Fuuka, and I was invited to Mai's apartment as the sole witness. Kazuya would have come if he didn't have an appointment with his teacher, but his girlfriend would surely fill him in afterwards.

"But, of course, she didn't hear her," I said, faking a sympathetic sigh.

"No!" Mikoto stomped her foot as if she was watching an unpleasant scene from a soap-opera show.

Reito instantly shushed his sister to calm down so that I could continue the saga.

"Fujino ran and ran down the long, quiet street. Lord knew how hard she tried to stop them, only to see the girl of her dream kissing her lover through the back windshield. And the car disappeared into the night, leaving her all alone, cold and blue…"

Disappointment was clearly visible in their eyes. Chie clutched Aoi's hand to soothe the long-haired girl. Mai hugged a big, fluffy pillow, her gaze fixing on the carpet before her, seemingly lost. Tate and Reito glanced at each other, concerned over the busty girl's fixation on the floor. Shaking her head, Akane dialed up her boyfriend and spoke him in a heartbreaking voice, carried away by the tale of broken romance. Akira leaned against her boyfriend, sighing over his shoulder.

Midori took a gulp of cold beer, her brows knitting in a serious scheming. "Maybe there's something we could do."

Mai clenched her fists. "I agree! We should just tell Natsuki that—"

The door to the apartment swung opened. Still in the same outfit she wore last night, Kuga walked in, and all things became silent. There were dark circles under her eyes, her crumpled jacket over her shoulder. Her hair disheveled, she looked beat, and we were certain of her lack of sleep last night. With the solid images I had just imprinted into their brain, Mai and the rest of the gang kept their mouths absolutely shut. Maybe there wasn't really anything they should do; the small smile on Kuga's face as she was talking on her cell phone only supported their theory.

"Look, I'll call you later… Ok…" Wide-eyed, Kuga readily hung up as she came to stand in her humble apartment that was now crammed up by familiar visitors. All at once.

The friends offered the dark-haired host an awkward smile, chuckling dryly to one another. Kuga's gaze drifted from Mai to everyone around the room, and then intently stopped at me, scrutinizing how I unexpectedly appeared in Fuuka and was now standing in the middle of her room, encircled by audiences like a fable teller.

Alarmed, Akane quickly hid her cell phone in her pocket and excused herself to meet up with Kazuya soon. Midori gave Kuga a sheepish grin, quietly tossing the can of beer into the trashcan and following Akane out. With his usual, charming smile, Reito picked his sister up with one strong arm and marched out of the apartment, reprimanding Mikoto for spilling food along the hallway.

"You need a hand, Reito!?" Tate immediately sprung up to his feet and ran after his friends, grinning Shiho hanging to his side.

"We're sorry, Natsuki-chan. We were about to leave. Chie-chan is really hungry—starving," Aoi said, smiling apologetically and walking fast out of the room. Nodding adamantly, Chie was closely behind her girlfriend.

"I'll see you later, Onee-chan! Natsuki-san." Takumi nodded, smiling politely as he hurriedly left with Akira.

Kuga turned and turned, watching her friends left one by one in a hurry. She then gave me one long look and, sensing that I wasn't about to leave, slammed the door shut.

Mai gulped, glancing at her roommate and me.

"No date, Yuuki? No one to abuse? Nobody to save?" Without looking at me, Kuga sneered with her tired tone, tossing her key and jacket over the couch behind Mai.

"Maybe just one," I said with a smirk, causing Mai to squirm.

"Any refreshment, Natsuki-chan!? I'll prepare you some tea!" Mai flashed a big smile, scurrying into the kitchen.

Kuga stood by the couch but refused to sit down, tense and on-guard. She watched Mai's poor attempt to act as though the little meeting with the Fuuka friends didn't exist. It was too obvious, and we had always known that Mai wasn't such a good liar.

"What are you doing here?" Glaring back at me again, Kuga shoved her typical, curt tone at me. We were becoming more civilized before I left for Tokyo but, for some reason, she was pissed off just to see my face now.

I ignored her unwelcoming conduct. After what I'd been through, it wasn't like I had any friend to expect from the start. "I got school, you know. Unfortunately, I had to come back a week earlier than scheduled."

Shrugging, Kuga made a quickie move into her bedroom, and came out again in a blue, Superman t-shirt and a pair of shorts. If I was corrected, it was the t-shirt Fujino got for the girl from a local store. The former student council president bought her best friend a gift on her own graduation day, and she made no secret about it.

"Korean instant noodles! Aren't we all hungry!?" Mai didn't barge back into the conversation with a pot of hot tea and three instant noodles cups ready on a tray.

In silence, the three of us just sat around the low table, counting the few minutes for the noodles to soften in hot water. Mai struck up a pointless chat with Kuga, asking how the party was only to receive unenthusiastic replies like 'Not bad', 'Cool', and 'Free food' from her roommate.

To my grudging surprise, I found Kuga's worn-out gaze almost treacherous, dangerously charming, with the damp strands of dark hair framing her gaunt face. The quiet, sullen air around her, she was no longer the pouting teenage girl Fujino left behind. She was now a sight to behold. Her makeover was helped—forced—thanked to Mai, of course.

After the small chat, Kuga seemed to tone down in her demeanor. There was a little bit of guilt in her gaze when she poured us some tea, and started eating.

There must have been some talk about me staying in Tokyo with Fujino, and the only reason Kuga softened towards me just a moment ago was Mai's reminding of her recent date with Matsuoka. Kuga had to be reminded that she was already taken—that she had no right to be upset if anyone should replace her in Fujino's life.

"How was Tokyo, Nao-chan? Did you have fun?" Mai asked out of her naivety, causing the raven-haired girl to stiffen again.

I stopped for a second before sucking the noodles up discreetly. Mai's question wasn't helping. Kuga shot me a bitter glare across the table, though I could tell that she was waiting eagerly for my reply.

"I got to be in a commercial. Look carefully. You guys might catch me on TV soon." I winked with a big, fat grin.

"Congratulations! I hope you get more jobs, Nao-chan!" Mai said, beaming.

"Just one? How did you get by for months? It's expensive there." Kuga was staring down at her food. Her words came monotonously, but I knew better.

"I wouldn't have made it, but Fujino helped me out. She was very kind, I was—"

"You lived with her?" Kuga failed miserably to keep her tone steady. She edgily put the noodle cup down. Eyes closed, she was rubbing her temples, the lack of sleep only making it more difficult.

Mai looked at me, silently pleading me to be nice. For once.

Rolling my eyes, I sulkily poked my noodles with the chopsticks. "With all the parties and friends visiting her late at night? Nah, I wouldn't want to live with her."

For some reasons unknown, I opted to leave out Fujino's boring lifestyle in Tokyo. Fujino had no friend, no party—nothing and no one beside her. But I wanted Kuga to think otherwise, that her best friend was doing fine without her.

The meal shortened with me taking leave soon afterwards. I had a kick just to see the lost look on Kuga's face and a frantic one on Mai's, which had temporarily erased the pained one I saw from Fujino last night. It was that look I knew so well—that look of someone whom had never been loved.

"I'm back!" I scampered into the kitchen of my house, throwing my arms around the small woman by the sink.

"Welcome home, sweetheart." Mother turned her attention from the task at hand, smiling. "Did you wash your hands? Dinner will be ready soon."

I made a face at the chopped garlic on the bamboo cutting board in front of mother. "Garlic? I don't like garlic!"

Mother looked at me quizzically. "But—but, darling, you loved my soup—"

"It's Ok. I already ate at a friend's place," I said, picking an apple from the fridge.

"You'll manage, I know. You always love my garlic soup. Oh, your friend called really late last night. I forgot to tell you before you left to see Mai-chan this afternoon. She was worried if you got home safely. You got yourself a nice friend, my little Nao."

Chewing the fresh apple, I knitted my brows at mother's beaming face. "What? Mai called? We just—"

"No, dear, I meant Fujino-san. I believe that must be her name. You stayed with her in Tokyo, didn't you?" Mother then chortled at the astounded look on my face.

"She… She called…?" Instantly moving out of the kitchen, I pulled out my Motorola and punched in her number. After we parted last night, I just headed home, too tired and restless to reason anything. I woke up again nearly half an hour past noon and left soon afterwards. Not for a single moment that I'd expect Fujino to check up on me. My heart beat a little faster at the realization. My chest felt tighter as I waited for her to pick up the phone.

But it rang and rang. After a few attempts, a voicemail spoke through the line, informing the sudden, unavailable signal. I cursed under my breath, only to move through the living room to the front door of my house when mother tiptoed in the kitchen to see what I was doing. Obviously, Fujino was there and intentionally turned off the phone. Leaning against the doorframe, I flipped my mobile shut, squinting up at the gray sky. It seemed the rain had followed me from Tokyo, and the weather forecast running on TV in the living room was telling me that the storm meant to stay.

TBC… Chapter 2: Sacrifice