A/N
This chapter has Blair pining for Dan. I have read a lot of drama and a lot of angst so I tried some anticipation - on Blair's part - to add variety to Dair fics. I hope you guys like it. Its an experiment.
Chapter 2
Blair slept round the clock when she went to her father's place. She was quite surprised that she slept that long because she has never even been the type who would unnecessarily laze in bed. Apparently she needed that to rejuvenate herself.
She then drew up a list of people that she had to call and make things right.
She called Chuck first and apologized to him for blowing hot and cold and then told him that she cannot be with him.
"I am sorry Chuck, I know it's not fair to you, esp, when I was the one who ran after you but I guess I just cannot be a hypocrite anymore. I don't know why but I do know that I cannot be with you." Blair quietly cried in the phone.
"I think I know why you cannot be with me," Chuck laughed mirthlessly.
"Please Chuck, don't be mad at me, I will do everything I can to help you get back Bass Industries, I just can't be with you anymore," said Blair.
"You know why you can't be with me Blair, it's because that Dan Humphrey taught you his poor people's morals. The old Blair I knew had no qualms in cheating on either Nate or Louis with me but the new you – it is different. You are no longer with Humphrey yet you still feel ashamed for running out on him. Who knew Blair Waldorf will be suffering from middle class guilt one day, humdrum Humphrey has truly rubbed on you," sneered Chuck.
"Please don't call him names, this has nothing to do with Dan. It is me who cannot be with you," said Blair.
"Holy Fuck! You still have feelings for that weasel! Here I am giving you time and you are pining for him! Thanks for not being with me for the past one month, I would not have liked to sully my hands with Dan Humphrey's cast offs." With that Chuck severed the connection.
For Blair, the earth didn't move. She felt nothing but sad resignation that there is one more person who is now pissed at her. This is the epic love I left my life in New York for, she asked herself.
She then called her mother and updated her about her situation.
"I am sorry mother, I know I accepted your offer and I said that there is nothing holding me back but I need some more time before I can truly commit myself to Waldorf designs," said Blair.
"I had a feeling that you are still not sure what you wanted to do, that is why I have not shared my retirement plan with the board." Eleanor sighed.
"Thanks a lot mother, you have no idea how bad I am feeling right now for letting you down like this but I have to figure a few things out on my own." Blair was grateful to her mother.
"Of course darling, I understand. I love you no matter what you decide to do but I just want to know if you even intend to come back to my company. There is no pressure for you to join now or even six months later but I would like to know if this is what you would want to do." Eleanor said.
"I will let you know as soon as I can mother, but I have a couple of more important calls to make, I will call you soon and I love you very much!" said Blair and clicked the phone.
Blair is holding her phone in her trembling hands. She wonders if he is in New York or has traveled to Rome like they planned. She did not want to disturb his sleep and wanted to call him at an appropriate time. She fidgets for a few minutes and decided to call anyways, it's not like she has ever worried about propriety with Dan. She smiled at the memory of all those times when she barged in his loft without prior announcement and demanded attention.
She called his number and finds out that it has been disconnected. She called at the loft and left the message in the answering machine. She checked gossip girl for some Dan Humphrey update but he was last spotted about a fortnight ago and was off the gossip girl radar. She realized that may be he is not in New York and have actually gone to Italy.
She waited for some time and then called Nate.
Nate was skeptical.
"Why do you want to contact Dan, I thought you left him." He asked.
"I am well aware of what I did Archibald, but I still need to talk to Dan. Perhaps more so because of the way I left," Blair sighed.
"Aren't you a little too late for that Blair," asked Nate pointedly.
"Oh don't go all judgmental on me, Dan is more than enough for that," Blair said.
"What makes you think he would even wanna talk to you Blair, you broke his heart, you know that right?" Nate asked quietly.
And for the first time since making her decision Blair panicked. She never thought that her Dan, the very sweet and gentle Dan who said that he will always be there for her may not be there for her.
"What do you mean that he won't talk to me? Of course he will; I am Blair Waldorf, if anything I will wear him down. Just tell me where he is?" Blair pleaded.
"Honestly Blair, I don't know. He changed his phone number and email address and no one except his family knows about his whereabouts. He went to Italy but came back after a week. I met him then and even though he did not give me his number, he promised that I would not give it to either you or Serena." Said Nate.
"Serena, how does she feature in this conversation, we are talking about Dan and I?" Blair was exasperated.
"I don't know, but that's precisely what Dan said. He seemed equally pissed at you two. I can't help you even if I wanted to, try Rufus or Alessandra, they would definitely know where Dan is." Nate suggested.
"I tried the loft but no one was at home, do you have Rufus' cell number." Asked Blair.
"I am afraid not, but I can find it for you." Nate offered.
She thanked Nate for his offer but decided to find it herself. She then called Dorota in New York and asked her to go to the Humphrey loft in Brooklyn to find out where Dan's hiding. She had to reach him before it is too late.
She then tried sending emails to Dan but they bounced back. His facebook account was deactivated but Dan Humphrey's fan page and Inside's facebook page were open and she left at least one message every 5 minute on both the pages.
She never thought she would be spamming Dan Humphrey one day but then she never thought she would fall in love with Dan Humphrey. She smiled at the thought of telling Dan Humphrey that in person.
She was pacing like a mad person for two hours before Ramon intervened and took her shopping to take her mind off all things Dan Humphrey. Even retail therapy was of no use and she kept fidgeting and checking her phone every two minutes for any updates.
She came home, had dinner with her father and Roman but was still restless.
She asked her dad if she can talk to him about Dan. She wanted to talk to Dan – desperately – and if she cannot talk to him, then she wanted to talk to someone about Dan – the next best thing. Harold smiled and said, "Of course we can talk about him, in fact you have to make sure we meet next time we are in the same city," and Blair beamed. She told him everything that she can recall about Dan. How he helped her in being more honest with her mother after the whole Serena modeling fiasco, how he help her in school at many occasion despite her less than sterling behavior and then helped her find her feet at NYU. She told him about their time at W, her accident, her wedding and then last few month that she spent with him. She even told him about Milo and only stopped when it was visible that Harold could not keep his eyes open.
When they were heading back to their respective rooms, Harold stopped and asked her: "If Dan has been this wonderful to you all along, what took you so long in figuring it all out that he's the one?"
Blair did not say anything but was mulling over her short sightedness. How could she let go of one good thing that has been staring at her all this time.
XXXXXXXX
She woke up after lunch time next day and somehow felt better. She ran a bath and waited till noon in New York before she called Lily. Lily was taken aback when she asked for Rufus' number but she gave it to him anyways. She smiled when she got hold of Rufus' number and thought, 'who knew it is so important to have your boy friend's father number in case he decided to go in hiding'.
She called his number quite a few time but all the calls went directly to voicemail. Dorota reported that the loft has been empty for a few weeks. Rufus is touring with a band whose songs he produced and no one knows where Dan is. She tried old contacts at NYU but no one knew where Dan Humphrey is.
She waited and waited with her phone in hand for a week before she could not take any longer and decided to go back home to find the most elusive man in five boroughs of New York.
Dorota sent a car for Blair at the airport and she headed straight to Brooklyn from the airport. The loft was locked which was not surprising but what was surprising was the fact that the extra key that Dan always hid behind the water pipe was missing.
Blair just sat down in the hall outside the loft and cried for the first time since she left Chuck. What if Dan never comes back, what if he comes back and wants nothing to do with her? Will she be able to live without him, she asked herself.
She made it back to Upper East Side several hours later and worked her network and ordered her minions to find out where Dan Humphrey is. But no one knew where he was. She went to see Nate at the Spectator. Ever since Chuck left New York, Nate too moved out of the Empire and has gotten himself an apartment.
Blair liked this new Nate. She always thought that of all her peers at the school, she would be the one who had everything figured out first. But the two people who have really done well for themselves are Nate and Dan. One is an editor and the other is a published writer and they are both still pursuing their degrees as well.
Nate invited Blair to his new apartment, she promised that she would hang out with him but her first priority is finding Dan. Nate, looking at Blair's misery, called Alessandra who refused to speak with Blair earlier – on Dan's orders of course. Alessandra did not give him Dan's number but promised to pass on his message that Nate needs to speak with Dan next time she talks to him. He chatted a bit more with Alessandra and then switched off.
"That's the best I can do under the circumstances, the man really wants to stay hidden," said Nate.
"Yeah, I even tried Eric but he has not spoken to Dan since Lily and Rufus' divorce," added Blair.
"Nate"
"Hmmm"
"Will he talk to me when he get back?"
"Look at you, what happened to the Blair who said she will wear him down unless he talks to her?" Asked Nate.
"I am afraid Nate, there is too much at stake, my heart, my life, everything. I can't lose him."
"Don't worry Blair, you won't lose him," smiled Nate.
She thanked Nate – for being there for her and for understanding her situation and for not being too critical of her past transgressions.
Blair is much calmer after she has had this talk with Nate and decided to wait patiently.
XXXXXXXXXXX
She filled her days with visits to museums and galleries and she wrote. She wrote letters to Dan – everyday, pouring her heart out on paper. She never thought she could write but she does, Dan has rubbed off more in those few short months they spent together. She was writing, listening to Pink Floyd, learning to cook so that she can surprise Dan when he sees her. She even bought a plaid skirt – from Bergdorf of course – to shock Dan Humphrey into loving her again. She was like a medieval wife whose husband was away at war for a long time. When she hears of his imminent return, she start preparing herself for him. Even though she does not have Dan by her side, she is happy with the thoughts of Dan and the fact that he will soon be back, his home, his editor, his university and his life is here. Blair Waldorf is here.
Three weeks have passed and she is bored. She decided to re design Serena's old bedroom into an office and soon had workers peeling the old wall papers and taking away the old furniture. When they are done with painting the room, she went in with Dorota, admiring the textured paint and had her first dizziness attack. She blamed it on the smell of fresh paint and came out. All of a sudden she stopped, pondered, panicked, picked up her purse and went out. She came back shortly and was holed up in her room for next couple of hours. When Dorota knocked on her door, asking her about dinner, she did not respond. When Dorota went in she found Blair Waldorf sitting on the bathroom floor with 6 pregnancy sticks around her.
Dorota looked at her, worried but Blair just sat there with an amazed expression and the biggest smile on her face. She looked up to Dorota and said, "I am pregnant Dorota, I am having Dan's baby."
.
.
A/N: I know there was no Dan in this chapter as well but I promise that he will be in the next chapter, if it makes you happy, I will also add the scene of their baby's conception, its gonna be super romantic. Please read and review. I will be really grateful :)