A Crack of Scenery

by Hatsunation

Collection of drabbles for those with an odd sense of humor. Warning for gore, violence, dark humor, possible adult themes, OOC-ness, and anything else terrible that the internet typically condones. Chapter 9 Summary: Why Jack hates Leonardo di Caprio.

2. Side Quests

Came up with this one while I was drawing so not relevant to my fic but it made me lose enough oxygen laughing that I felt it needed to be written.

*coughs* Losing oxygen like Jack when he drowned *cough*

I'm sorry. I discovered tumblr.

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'That is why you weren't here?' North asked, 'You were with Pitch?'

'OH MY GOOOOD,' Jack whined, 'Haven't you ever heard of a side quest? God damn noobs, no one ever finishes that campaign without doing side quests. Get on my level scrubs.'

'Jack, what are you talking about?' Tooth asked with a look of concern.

'OH MY GOOOOD don't patronize me. You don't understand my angst. Try drowning in a fucking pond before you talk to me bish,' Jack said with a hair flip, snapping his fingers in a 'J' formation.

'Don't talk to her like that mate,' Bunnymund threatened.

'OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD. Trying 420 blazing it some time you stupid kangaroo. I'm out of here. No one understands my feelings!'

With that Jack flew away on the wind to Antarctica where he began to whine to Pitch in the same manner, resulting in getting tossed in an ice crevice and mauled by nightmares for good measure. In the end, Pitch ended up defeating the guardians but it was for the better if it meant they didn't have to suffer through Jack's company.