Hey hey hey! It's me! Guess what? There's a new chapter! Duh.
Thank you to whoever you are Guest and Abby. I would PM you a response, but you don't have accounts. So instead I will publicly humiliate you.
ABBY: I did feel that it was fast, I just wanted to know if it was too fast. I have the middle and ending planned out, but I feel like im slogging through the beginning. I explain the friendship between Tina and Sarah more in this chapter. I also tried to add more details, and I think I like doing that better. I tried to be less repetitive this time, I even used wordle to see if I could use specific words less.
Guest: Thank you *le me le blushing*
"So you must be..." A hispanic woman with a friendly smile started, before looking down at her clipboard to see who I was. "Sarah Tanner. Right?"
I nodded slowly. I was still afraid, despite the woman's warm smile and bright eyes that put the bright white walls and furniture to shame. I knew to keep my heart guarded still, I would not be one of the people who fell for kidnapper's fake affection and end up with Stockholm Syndrome. I stayed quiet. The sterile feel of the room offset the woman's warm, motherly demeanor.
"I just want to ask you a few questions, would you please answer them?"
I didn't answer. If they knew what my name was, they probably knew all they needed to know. They probably had access to my medical records, financial information, and my parent's information. That meant they would know much I was worth, and how much I could be ransomed for.
The woman sat down next to me. "I know this is hard for you. I know it's hard for your family too. This is hard on everyone."
I looked away from her, "What do you know. If you thought what you're doing hurt people then you wouldn't be doing this."
She put her hand gently on my shoulder. "I know it's hard on you. But you're going to make the world a better place."
"Please. You don't know that. You don't know anything about me. If you really wanted to make the world a better place, you wouldn't kidnap people. Don't tell me about how you don't kidnap people, and that you work for people who do. Or better yet," I laughed bitterly, "Don't tell me that your 'company' or whatever doesn't kidnap people. It's a lie and you know it. I don't want to help you save the world, I want to enjoy my own world in peace."
"You were kidnapped?" She seemed genuinely surprised. "The people here, the 99 percenters. They recruit kids."
"Yeah, off the streets through targeted kidnapping." I scoffed.
"Then how do they have your information?"
"Did I mention targeted? That means they find people and make a file on them, hack for information and then bada-bing. Kidnapped kids and 'duped' employees." I didn't actually believe that she didn't know the kids weren't kidnapped. "How can you not know that? Surely another kid has told you about this. Unless you don't actually care."
"Well this group has such a large base with teenagers and sometimes even children that they don't need to do that like other groups."
"Other groups?" I yelled, "There are other groups like this? Taking kids and doing who know's what with them?"
"No. There used to be this other group. They had doctors tell mothers their babies had died, and then that group would take those babies and experiment on them."
"I've never heard of them, how do I know you're telling the truth?"
"My daughter, Maximum Ride was one of those babies."
"Oh. So this whole Maximum Ride thing is true? I thought it was just some lie that people were using to cover everything up. You know, a scapegoat. I didn't actually think they existed."
"They do. And the goal of the 99 percen-"
"Save the explanation for someone who cares. And someone who doesn't know. Almost everyone at my school is obsessed with it. Personally I don't think it's a good idea. Killing 99 percent of the human population seems like a bad idea. I mean, how do you save that one percent? Also, why would any human support it? The kids at my school think that somehow they're going to be picked." I laughed stoically. "It's kind of funny. The only kid in the entire school gets picked doesn't believe in the cause. Besides, you're human, so why do you support it?"
"I've lived a long full life. And I want a better world, for the earth, and for my daughter and her family." She gazed wistfully, "I know it's selfish of me, but I want to stay with her as well. We could restart this world properly."
"Look, I don't care. I don't want this to happen. Can't you just reinforce recycling? Something that doesn't involve killing lots of people. How can you live with that?"
She shook her head, as if snapping out of a trance. "Look. I have to do this questionare." She looked back at her clipboard. "These questions are a waste of time." She dropped her clipboard onto the floor.
I rolled my eyes at her, "So you're trying to establish a cool, off the rules, oblivious, motherly relationship with me. It's not going to work. Whatever you're trying to make me do, you're going to have to force me to, and it won't be pretty."
"I'm not trying to do anything. I just need to get to know you so I can chose something that's right for you."
"How about nothing."
"That's not an option."
"So what are my options?" I asked impatiently.
"I can't tell you. Because you might chose something like a dragon because you like dragons and want lots of power. I can't let that happen. So I ask you questions about your personality so I can chose properly.
"Well after due study of myself, I say that no whatever is a proper fit for me. I'm content with what I am."
She looked me in the eye. "That's why we chose you. Being selected won't go to your head." She picked her clipboard up, and started scribbling on it, I saw her cross things out.
"Let me guess. You're crossing off things that wouldn't match me." I rolled my eyes. "I think you should just cross everything out, don't waste your time on me. Tina's probably the one you want."
"Tina? Your friend? She has no reason to be here, she most likely will not make it. They have her in a different room right now, and I think she won't make it past the test phase. She believes too closely in the cause."
"Wouldn't you want people to believe in your cause?" I asked trying to protect Tina. I knew Tina would do more good than I would, she had always been the good kid who helped people. We used to go to homeless shelters and bring in sweaters that we'd made. Tina taught me all sorts of crafty things. She was the only person who had broken through my tough shell. Knowing that she would be killed made me want to break down and cry, but I kept it inside. I had always kept it inside, until I had met Tina. Then she joined the 99 percenters, and everything changed.
Tina had joined the 99 percent group a few weeks before, she thought that they were going to change everyone to be changed and that the world would co-exist and that she and I would be among those people. After that, Tina and my seamless relationship started to fall apart. We slowly drifted, and I had taken her to the city to try and fix it. I guessed that she hated me because I had gotten her into the situation somehow.
"Yes, and no. She thinks that she's destined to do good now." Tina had always thought it was her job to do good things to people, and at times I thought that was why she was friends with me. I knew Tina pitied me because I was always alone, but I didn't know if she actually liked me or pitied me.
"But that one girl in-"
"She's phase one. You're phase three." The lady interrupted. She didn't even know what I was talking about, and yet she understood exactly what I meant.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
She shook her head, her dark brown pony-tail swaying quickly. "I can't tell you, but you'll find out soon enough." She snapped her tan fingers together. "Aha!"
"Aha what?"
"I've figured out your match." She stepped off of the therapy sofa we were sitting on, and started writing furiously on a piece of paper. I thought she was going to write so fast that the paper would light on fire.
She was writing, and I decided to get up. Considering the fact that I was kidnapped, I had lots of freedoms.
The door flew open and a worried looking balding man with glassed walked in. "Valencia, is everything okay in here?" He asked frantically. "You haven't sent me the papers I need, I thought you were in trouble. Ella and I were worried."
"Everything is fine Jeb. I just needed more time with this one." She said pointing to me. She ripped a paper off of her paper pad and handed it to the "Jeb" guy.
"Thank you." He looked over the paper very carefully. "Aotus zonalis?"
"Yes, I think it's a good match for this one."
"This one is right here!" I growled. "Can't you people ask me if I want to be matched with a monkey or whatever?"
The old guy looked at me and I thought his eyes were going to bug out of his sockets. "How did you know?"
"I did a science project on monkeys once." I explained to him. "Put your eyes back in your head. I actually pay attention in school. Didn't you read that in my file?" I added mockingly.
He grabbed my wrist firmly and pulled me through more halls, jabbering on about how great I was going to be as a subject and how he wished he could keep me. I didn't understand what he was talking about, and I didn't care either.
I just missed my house and my family, even if they weren't the greatest. Most of all, I missed yarn, because it reminded me of my friendship with Tina before she changed. She used to come to my house to do messy crafts because her parents wouldn't let her do messy crafts and mine didn't care. We used to make messes and clean them up, somehow we made it fun. I missed that most of all. I hoped that everything would go well for Tina, but I knew in my heart she wasn't going to be safe.
Jeb stopped another one of the special doors that didn't have handles, and looked like a part of the wall. The facility seemed to have a lot of those handless doors, probably so nobody could access rooms they weren't supposed to. Jeb swiped his hand across it, and it sunk into the ground.
I whistled loudly, "Fancy doors you got here."
Jeb adjusted his glasses, but didn't say anything. He walked over to a wall, blank and white as usual. He tapped the wall, and it started growing luminescent blue veins. The bright, white room got brighter, almost blindingly white. I shielded my eyes, and when I got over the temporary blindness the room looked completely different. There was a white pallet, a shelf, and a set of cabinets. Jeb motioned for me to sit on the pallet, and I slowly shifted over to it, never taking my eyes off of him.
He turned to the cabinets and got something out of them. He flicked whatever it was and turned to face me. It was a syringe, I immediately tensed up. The thought of anything puncturing my skin gave me the willies. I backed up farther on the pallet, the awe in me gone.
"Don't worry, it's only a mild sedative mixed with a numbing agent."
"Only?" I cried out, "Don't worry, it's only some drugs that the nice high-tech kidnappers are giving you. You shouldn't be worried at all. Next thing you know you're going to tell me kids should run with scissors and take candy with strangers when they get in the van with them!" I added sarcastically.
He rolled his eyes and started walking across the short room. "Don't get any closer." I threatened whilst backing farther away. He kept walking.
He reached me and I tried to swat it away. I knocked his wrist back only slightly, I was really weak. He walked slowly, with one hand out, like an animal trainer meeting a dangerous new animal for the first time; the only thing missing were affectionate whispers of "who's a good girl".
"I said don't get any closer!" My voice was cracking big time, and I knew it wasn't threatening at all.
It seemed like Jeb got tired of me backing away. He took one big stride towards me, which put me in a corner. He stabbed it into my thigh and I screamed in fear more than anything else. Immediately afterwards I couldn't feel anything. The muscles in my face started dropping, and I felt like a big container of pudding.
"Now isn't that easier?" He joked. I couldn't say anything in return because my mouth had drooped so much and I couldn't move my muscles. "Well, that will make the rest of this easier."
He pulled out a few more syringes, "Of course, the sedative should kick in first."
Ok. New set of questions! This is probably almost as fun as writing the chapters!
Do you think my chapters are too long? Too short?
Does anyone want to Beta? I think my grammar is good, but I could have made a few mistakes, and I would love some advice from another fanfictioner.
Thoughts on my summary? I didn't get an answer last time.
What did you think of Nevermore? I didn't really like the ending, but I felt like it had really good fanfiction potential.
Should I add some backstories?
Do you think that I (we) have good fanfiction ideas? Or are they all cliches that deserve all the wrath and scorn available to us.
How can I (we) get better?
Side note, this is a solo story, so the style will be consistent, and hopefully the updating. Also school is starting soon, so the two day streak of daily updates may go to once a week, to once a month, but I WILL UPDATE AT LEAST MONTHLY (at least until mid-terms, it's my first year of high school and I'm taking really hard classes (wish me luck!) also I'm doing marching band, so I might only be able to write on Sundays and after homework because I only write when I'm alone. I don't like when people ask what I'm writing. Fortunately for you guys, I am taking a creative writing class so my work can only get better! In november there may be no updates because of Nanowrimo. But I doubt most of you will be reading anyway since you'll be busy writing your novels :).
Review this! Read my (our) other stories! Be amazing! :D Wow, almost 600 words in authors notes.