First of all, like (almost) every other author on the site, I'm going to reply to reviews. I notice there wasn't any hate mail. That's nice.
centauri2002 – I wasn't really thinking of demographics when I wrote this, but the Author needed a way for the world to be populated with Reviewers. The Reviewer will remain male (at least for now), but as for the Author- Anyway, how about sharing Hot Girlfriend between you and your girlfriend? Threesomes are good, everybody loves threesomes. Except people who don't.
Binchou-tan – I agree.
Thanks to everyone who reviewed: rainee-chan, SychoBabbleX, centauri2002, AnomolyIdiotic, -Rikku-Spira-, glowie, silencer42, and Binchou-tan.
I'm glad you all liked it. Here's moar. I concentrated on non-plot advancement rather than humor in this chapter.
The Author, The Laptop, and the Travelers of Fan Fictions
By Sepiktik
Chapter 2: Let's Have a Carnival!
In which the Author gets a gender change and the HiME Sentai reunite. Get out of my rowboat.
Natsuki lay on the cold, hard pavement, choking on her own blood. Her attacker stood above her, laughing evilly, his laughter not quite reaching his cold blue eyes. Natsuki reached above with her right hand, reaching for the collar of the man's suit. Her hand shook a bit and then dropped, joining the rest of her body. Before she closed her eyes, she whispered.
"You won't get away with this."
"Yes I will. All your friends will think you abandoned them, and nobody will be able to find your body. Goodbye."
He let out one more resounding evil laugh.
The director yelled, "Cut! All right! That's a wrap, everybody. We're done! Go do whatever."
Natsuki lifted herself from the pavement and dusted herself off.
The blue-eyed man glared at Natsuki.
It felt good to kill you in that act. But I want to get revenge on you in real life. I will make you wish you have never been born. Insert rest of stereotypical bad-guy rant here. Are you still reading this?
The Author peered into the world in which the HiME lived. Truth be told, it wasn't the only world he had seen which featured these people. He remembered when he looked into a similar world. He remembered how he felt when he watched one particular girl named Tomoe. But the worlds were similar. Nagi was still a bad guy, the HiME still had some sort of SUPERPOWARS. The Author shivered a bit at this thought.
I'm willing to bet that Tomoe still has a crush on Shizuru, except it's more latent in this world. And I want to get with her. And take her picture. My homeboys tried to warn me, but that butt you got's m-m-m-making me so horny. Oh boy, I wouldn't mind if she digitally oscillated my power cord. But it's obvious she likes girls. And I'm a guy. But I am the Author! I will not let something like that stop me!
And so the Author grabbed his laptop. He typed for ten minutes this time. The paper came out of the printer.
The Author becomes a an incredibly hot girl which Tomoe will not be able to resist.
And the Author became female.
And he did what any male mind in an incredibly hot female body would do.
And it was good.
A disheveled Shizuru came into the student council room and grabbed her laptop, muttering to herself.
Haruka took this opportunity to declare her qualification for the post of student council president.
"HA! I knew you couldn't stay on top of all the work, Bubuzuke Woman! Haruka Suzushiro – Fuuka Gakuen Student Council President! Has a nice ring to it!"
Shizuru went for the door, stopping to reach into her bag and tape her smile back on.
Haruka turned to Yukino.
"What's up with her?"
Midori had gathered up the HiME Sentai for a group outing. Everybody was there, except for Natsuki and Shizuru.
Mai looked around at her fellow HiMEs.
"Where are Natsuki and Shizuru?"
Haruka replied, "Don't know, don't care. Though she was muttering something under her breath."
Midori became curious.
"What was she saying?"
"I don't know. She-just-kept-talking-in-one-long-incredibly-unbroken-sentence-moving-from-topic-to-topic-so-that-no-one-had-a-chance-to-interrupt-it-was-really-quite-hypnotic."
Yukino snickered.
The Author had finished taking her bath.
"This rocks, multiple orgasms!"
The Reviewer came up to the Author.
"Let's fuck."
"Don't use such language. We're already at Defcon-T."
"Come on!"
"No, you have Hot Girlfriend!"
"She's nowhere as hot as you are now!"
"I'm not going to have sex with you. I'm saving myself for Tomoe. Besides, you still haven't given me any reviews," replied the Author.
The Reviewer fell to his knees.
He bawled. "I'm sorry I forsook you, I will give you many reviews! Now please have sex with me!"
"No. Also, you're ugly."
The Reviewer left with his head bowed down in misery.
Hot Girlfriend came up to him and slapped him with a curling iron. (Beauty takes effort.)
This left the Author thinking.
I still haven't received very many reviews. I need the help of the Great Will of the Macrocosm.
She grabbed her laptop and sent an email to greatwillofthemacrosocmexcel.saga complaining about her problems with people not reading and reviewing her story. She instantly received a reply.
You need a plot and some conflict. You need to use plot devices to improve your story. Also throw in lots of fan-service. You'll get a lot of perverts hooked on that way. They'll be using hands-free mode on their microphones if you're good enough.
And the Author began to think up a conflict.
Midori asked, "So what do you girls want to do?"
Mai smiled. "Let's go for Karaoke!"
Akane smiled. "I'll do whatever you guys decide to do."
Midori smiled. "Let's go to a museum!"
Haruka smiled. "Let's go watch Star Trek!"
Yukino smirked. (Bet you fell off your chair there.)
Mikoto jumped up and down.
"LET'S HAVE A CARNIVAL!"
The chairman of the Searrs Foundation sat in his chair. Their attempt at bringing about the new Golden Age had failed. But he wasn't one to give up.
"Let's have a Carnival."
The Obsidian Lord looked upon the world. It was time to get his revenge. His one eye blinked.
"Let's have a Carnival."
Juri Arisugawa climbed into the elevator.
"If the egg's shell does not break, the chick will die without being born. We are the chick; the egg is the world. If the world's shell does not break, we will die without being born. Break the world's shell! For the sake of revolutionizing the world!"
The elevator stopped.
She looked around.
"Crap, I took the wrong elevator."
The Author lifted up her head with a snap. She had finally gotten an idea.
I have an idea!
Yep.
The HiMEs had a Carnival and I thought it was interesting. What if I put it into my story? I'll get lots of reviews! For the sake of revolutionizing the fan fiction!
The Author grabbed her laptop and started typing. An hour later, her story was finished. She couldn't think of any ideas for names, so she decided to use the names of the HiME girls. Nobody would know. Before submitting her story, she decided to spell-check it like any good writer would.
There were twelve girls which had superpowers.
There names were Mai Akihito, Datsun Tokugawa, Seizure Fuji no, Yuki no Kawasaki, Hanuka Shropshire, Akita Hokusai, No Yuki, Nariko Canada, Tamiko Linage, Alane Thrashing, Shiloh Krakatau's, and Humidor Sugillate.
There was also this one girl who had fake superpowers.
Her name was Alyssa Sears. So the Sears Foundation wanted to bring about the Golden Era.
And they decided to use the girls' superpowers to do so.
So they did.
But they failed.
And everyone lived happily ever after.
And at the end, they all had a huge orgy.
Even the nun.
One more divider for good measure.
The Author sat back in her chair.
I bet those perverted losers are all sweaty now. Never knew that the nun fetish was so popular.
She smirked.
Oh, crap. It's contagious.
Anyway.
I have revolutionized fan fiction! With my new patented styling and formatting, I will amass many fans! And they will review!
She got an instant message.
"I'm in your Internets. Reviewing your fan fictions!"
Mikoto looked around. Everybody was gaping at her.
"No, not that kind of carnival!"
Everybody breathed a sigh of relief.
Author's note: I didn't quite get what I wanted done, but I got closer to what the summary says. If you didn't like this chapter and would rather I go slower with it and stick to humor, tell me.
NEXT CHAPTER: Plot Device