A/N: Hello! I finally decided to pick this up again. Bear with me though; it's been a while since I've read the book, and I'm still trying to find my own copy. Anyways, review and enjoy!
. . .
Dear Ponyboy,
I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry Ponyboy. I didn't mean to hit you, I would never hit you. It just . . . happened. It was a mistake, an accident. Maybe if I didn't do that, if I had just controlled myself, none of this would have happened. . .
I didn't mean to make you run away, I never wanted that to happen. It's just that you have a future ahead of you; a good one. You won't end up like me or Sodapop. You're smart. And it irritates me when you don't use your head because you've got a good one. I have to push you, treat you differently than Soda.
So that you won't end up as a drop out or working so much you don't have time for anything else. I want a better life for you.
I don't know, I suppose you remind me of all the things I could have done but didn't get the chance to. I want to make sure you have opportunities, that you can do what you want without having to worry about a price tag. I want to be able to let you go to college if you want to. I don't want you to miss out on everything I did.
Now I don't know where you are. Dally knows, I'm sure of it, but he won't say a word. I've failed. I've failed Mom, I've failed Dad, I've failed Soda, I've failed the gang, and I've failed you most of all Ponyboy. I failed you as a brother and caregiver.
I can't say anything that can justify what I've done. I care about you Ponyboy, you're my brother, of course I love you. I know I don't show it enough, but I do. I've failed you and nothing I can say will get you to forgive me. How can you, when I can't forgive myself?
I don't deserve to be forgiven.
Maybe one day you'll see this letter. Maybe when I'm long gone and you're looking through my stuff with Soda. You just might see it without me knowing, I don't know.
Please, just come home. Come home Ponyboy. I'll try to be better, just come back to us.
From,
Darry Curtis