The next morning was worse because he actually did burn himself a bit, and if he was hurting, it meant that Shiro was hurting too.
He'd burned his soulmate, literally.
And his soulmate didn't even know his name yet.
This is what would happen, but worse, if he got close to Shiro. So he made it his mission to stay far away. With conviction this time. Yeah.
He knew Shiro's schedule by now. A lot of their classes crossed paths in between, so he made sure to take the long ways around.
Good exercise, he told himself. He hated exercise.
It felt lonelier now, knowing that the color spread all over his world was because of Shiro, and he couldn't even have him. Every moment he looked around, every time he started at a new tone, he was reminded that it was because of Shiro.
It made him sad.
Despite his best efforts, he was dwelling in it during lab again, mind full of cotton.
"Uh..." His lab partner said with a slight frown, staring down at his hands. "You know. You might want to keep that off your hands."
"Hm?" Keith looked down. Whatever was in the test tube had spilled over the top and was dripping down his skin.
"Were you not listening at all?" An aggravated sigh. "Here. Take baking soda. Rub it all over your hands and then rinse it. Then do it again. That soapy feeling you'll get when the water washes it away? Rest assured knowing that's the feeling of your skin coming off."
"...Oh." Keith vaguely recalled their teacher saying something about that. He wandered off to the sink to do what his partner said.
"Leave the science to me," she said when Keith returned.
"I'm sorry. I've been distracted lately."
She gave him an arched eyebrow and kept working. He sat there and watched her at her work. She was tiny with a baby-face, which made her look like she was in elementary school and not college, but she did everything with such confidence no one dared question her.
She looked over at Keith. "Can you get me that pipette?"
He handed it to her.
"You know," she muttered, 95% of her concentration on her science and the rest spared for Keith. "You've seemed out of it lately. More than usual."
"Hm..."
"I always thought you were the kind who liked to focus."
"I do. I've just been..." He trailed off. Even he didn't know.
She straightened, actually setting the pipette down to analyze him. "Remember how we got partnered up?"
"No?"
"When the teacher said to find a partner, we both made a beeline to her to ask if we could work alone. That's how."
Keith sniffed roughly.
"People say you're a demon sometimes. A real shitty person. They say you've killed a man. Say you shoot up in the bathrooms."
Keith let out a soul-weary sigh.
"I don't think you do that," she said, voice firm, like that meant the world.
And it sort of did. Keith felt the weight in his chest unwind just a hair, but it was a relief he longed for.
"...Thanks," he said softly.
"People are shitty," she muttered, snatching up her tools of destruction to get back to work. "Don't let them get to you."
"It's not that," Keith said, slipping her another tool that she pointed to. "I just..." He shrugged.
"Lost. I get it. People say I don't belong here either. I mean, in a way, they're right. I should be in middle school technically." She pushed her glasses up her nose. "But I like it here just fine, so screw 'em."
"Ah, you're a prodigy," he hummed.
"You didn't know? Some people say I'm the next Einstein."
"Do you think you're the next Einstein?"
"No." She said, leaning down to measure something out. "I think I'm better."
Keith grinned at that and she laughed, smile wide.
"Look, maybe I know of something that could help you. My brother's having a Christmas party this weekend. Knowing my brother, it's going to be dorky probably, but there'll be alcohol. I hear that's a thing people like at these sort of get-togethers."
Keith chuckled under his breath. "You don't?"
"I'm fourteen."
"And so?"
"No." She pushed her glasses up again. "But you look like you might need it. Maybe you'll make some friends too, who knows. I'll be there."
"Now I have to go."
"Smart boy. Here. I'll write down the address in your notebook. Oh, and look at that, you got to keep your skin. Looks like I caught it in time."
Keith flipped his hands over. They were red and irritated, but nothing too terrible. "Thanks."
"If you know what's good for you, you'll go to the party. Just stop by. Worst thing that happens is you'll leave immediately and go home to sit around for the rest of the night. How's that any different from what you'll already do?"
Keith laughed softly down at the floor. He felt like he should probably be offended but somehow couldn't muster it. "Ouch."
She shrugged, completely unconcerned. "Not that I'm much different."
Keith was quiet for awhile, watching the acid they were working with eat away at a penny. Maybe he wasn't as alone as he thought. Maybe it was nicer than he thought it'd be.
"Maybe I'll go," he said and that was the best answer he could possibly give to her.
She smiled and gave him a thumbs up.
"Who's your brother?"
"His name's Matt. Matt Holt."
Keith froze, his entire body going rigid. He knew that name. That was Shiro's shadow, the one who glared and bared his teeth like Shiro's protective guard dog.
That meant...Shiro would probably be there.
Keith wasn't sure if that made him want to go more or less.
"Don't bail." Pidge said. "You look like the type to bail at the last minute."
"I'll go," he said defensively, though he could feel his mind going back and forth already, like the coward he was.
He had really meant that he'd go when he was in class talking with Pidge, but in his apartment, huddled in blankets and cleaned of the day's cold harsh work , he realized that actually sounded like the last thing he wanted to do in the world. Ever.
But then Shiro would be there.
But then he'd made himself a pact to not communicate with Shiro. With conviction. That word was supposed to mean something.
Well, he didn't need to actually talk to him. He could just watch.
But then he'd be being creepy if he just watched, and besides, Shiro knew of his presence now after the Coffee Incident. What if he came up to Keith first?
Yeah, he realized it was a really bad idea and he should just stop poking at fate. He was going to keep that box closed, stay focused on his schoolwork, go back to how life was before.
But then, the day of the party, his phone went off.
He sighed, frowning at the name. With a sigh, he answered it.
"Tell me you're not being a loser in your room by yourself right now."
"Tell me why you suck so much."
"Keith. Buddy. Pal." Lance was starting to take on a tone of pity . Pity!
"Save your sympathy, friend, because I am actually not staying in today."
"Wow." Lance sounded genuinely surprised. "Making a quick stop at McDonald's, are you?"
"You sicken me. No, as a matter of fact, I'm going to a party."
"A party."
"Yeah. A girl invited me."
"A girl ?" Immediate interest. His voice got louder as he leaned closer into his phone. "Tell me more."
Keith regretted teasing Lance immediately. Lance was starting to rub off on him and he hated it. He groaned. "I've got to get ready. Did you call for a reason?"
"No, no. No, no, no, no, no. Don't you hang up on me when we're finally talking about something interesting. I was worried about you! Sammy was worried about you!"
"Who is Sammy?"
"Dude. My girlfriend."
"Ah. Right. Well, if you're not calling for anything important -"
"I am, I am! I wanted to lend you some inspirational advice since I know you're probably just stewing in silence right now, alone, in the cold."
Keith let out an enormous whiney groan that sounded more elephant than human.
"The advice goes as follows: live a little."
"I swear to god, that is the shittiest advice -"
"Is it, though? Try it out and see. Girls are waiting, my man. I hate to be the one to tell you this, but if you just wiped that snarl off your face for a few minutes, you've actually got a decent mug. I'd bet -"
"Lance, I swear to god. You've got to stop calling me. Just send me a text or something; I hate the phone. If it's something important, then that's one thing, but -"
"-Keith," Lance said, his voice firming and sobering up. The usual jovial tone lowered. "Buddy. I am being serious. You're starting to get a little dark lately, you know? Ever since you went to college, I can't look after you anymore. Mom and Dad ask about you everyday and you never call. They care about you. We all do. Make some friends, yeah? You're actually kind of a softie once you let someone in. They're all scared for nothing; and you are too."
"I'm not scared," Keith mumbled lowly, but his fire was doused. He sighed into his hand and rubbed his face roughly. "Okay. I got it. Message received. I'll try a little."
"All I can ask, buddy. You'll do great."
"It's just a party," he grunted.
"As I recall, I was always the one dragging you into any parties you ever attended. Like trying to force a cat into water."
"I'll go. I swear."
"Let me know how it goes. Mom and Dad'll be happy."
So that's how Keith ended up having to go to a party.
Though he never had a family and could never fully trust a person again, he did have Lance, and Lance's very large family always tried to make him feel at home. It wasn't home though, it never had been. It was Lance's home, Lance's comfort, with the people who loved Lance the most.
It didn't mean Keith wasn't grateful to them or that he didn't care. He did. But he still felt like he was searching. Somewhere. For something.
But he could do at least this for them. Like Pidge said, he could go in, turn around, and leave.
She had said 'dorky' and Matt kind of looked the stereotype, so maybe it wouldn't be a typical party, Keith quietly hoped.
Before he had even made it to the address she had written down, he could hear the music thudding through the walls and bouncing the cement floor beneath his feet. So much for hope. His shoes were vibrating and he was already hating himself and this party. Chatter was pouring through the windows. God.
The yellow of the street lamps was surprisingly vivid and caught his attention. Color. It reminded him that maybe he was there for a reason.
If Shiro wasn't there, he'd turn around and leave. If Shiro was there, he'd turn around, hide in a corner, and pretend to not watch.
Wait, no, that wasn't the plan. He kept forgetting - no creepiness.
He sighed loudly, tossing a glare at a couple who were walking by, staring at him stopped in the middle of the pathway. Screw the plan. Screw it all. He was going to get drunk.
When he knocked on the door, Matt answered and immediately did a double-take.
"Uh..." Matt said, looking as if he was balancing between denying him entry and nervously opening the door wider.
"Pidge invited me," Keith said. "She said she'd be here."
" Pidge did ?" Matt squeaked. He turned to look over his shoulder and searched the people littering the rooms. "I... Okay. Okay, that's fine..." He let the door hang wider before he walked off, muttering something about Pidge needing to select her friends more carefully.
Hesitantly, Keith took a step inside.
It was true, Lance was the one who was good at parties. Keith was the one who was good at staying home. Which was ironic, considering the entire school thought Keith was wreaking havoc on the town riding around on his bike and breaking windows with his baseball bat or some shit. He didn't even have a baseball bat. He didn't play.
Needless to say, he had barely made two steps in and he already felt more awkward than he had in years. He thought of Lance and his family, worried for him. He thought of his dark moods lately and how things were starting to matter less and less to him. He needed this. Probably. If not to make friends, then to shock himself into appreciating what he had - some peace and quiet.
Why did music have to be this loud? Why were there so many people? They were milling around like ants, passing by him roughly. Some raising eyebrows at him, others just ignoring completely. He felt old; too old for this shit.
He saw a familiar face and made a beeline through the crowd.
"Well, well, well," Pidge drawled from the punch bowl, grabbing a cup for him and filling it. "You came. I didn't think you would, honestly."
"Yeah, I was going to bail, but then my friend called me out on what a total loser I was and I lied to him and said I was going to a party."
She snorted, shoving the cup at him. "My brother told me I could hang out here and then conned me into manning the punch station. This is basically child slave labor."
"What's in this?" Keith looked down at the innocent liquid and sniffed it.
"Nothing I can drink. You'll be fine."
"Well. You did save my hands from burning the other day, so I guess I'll trust you."
"Probably more than you can trust yourself, honestly."
He downed the cup and set it down. She refilled it. He tapped his foot antsily against the wall as he cast his eyes around, searching.
"You look really out of place," she said.
"You don't, actually."
"What are you saying?" She rolled her eyes, refilling the cup of someone else who came by, who eyed Keith curiously. "I'm little more than half the size of everyone here."
Keith hummed.
Pidge nodded to the student who was walking away, disappearing into the crowd that was swaying in the flashing lights. "She was checking you out. Maybe you're not as out of place as I thought."
Keith hummed again. Drank some more. "You're the genius. Wouldn't you know?"
"Funny. Mechanics I know. Technology? Science? Of course. People? Eh. Not so interesting."
"Not so interesting," Keith sighed. He was messing with the rim of his cup, pursing his lips. He hadn't seen Shiro yet. Not that he was actively looking, but it was a feeling. He wasn't in the crowd. It was like knowing the stars weren't out yet. You just did.
"Who is it?" Pidge crossed her arms and leaned over the counter, looking at him with raised expectant eyebrows.
Keith frowned. "What?"
"You're not being subtle, if that's something you're trying to do. So. Who is it?"
"There's no one." He took another drink.
She smiled wider.
He sighed.
"It's fine. You don't have to tell me. I bet I can figure out who it is by the end of the night though."
"Not if I leave right now."
"So there is someone ."
"I -" His hands stilled on the edge of the cup and he narrowed his eyes. "You little demon."
She just smiled in response. Shrugged. "I could help you though. If you told me who. Maybe I know them."
He shook his head, not that he was denying her help, but he didn't understand. "Why would you help me?" He couldn't even understand why she'd talk to him in the first place.
She shrugged again, face open and honest. "I think you're an okay guy. Is that bad?"
He felt knocked off balance again. Like she had swept a pillar of defense out and away from him and he couldn't grapple it back.
"No," he said softly.
She watched him for a moment, still leaning forward on her elbows, casual and in control of the situation. But then she turned out to the crowd with him and they people-watched together in companionable silence.
He liked it. Just sitting there with someone. He'd known Lance since they were just kids but it was Lance , who could make best friends with a literal rock, so it hadn't felt like a friendship earned. He hadn't made a friend since. Thought Lance was just a lucky fluke. But Pidge felt different, at least at the moment. They got each other and didn't even have to say anything to prove it. It was nice.
Matt came by, eyeing Keith suspiciously as he passed him up. "Hey, Katie. Sorry to leave you over here like that."
"I can't even drink," she frowned unhappily at him. "If Mom and Dad found out you had me do this, they'd freak."
"And if they found out you were the one who begged to let you stay..."
"You'd still be the one in trouble," she said.
He sighed. "Yeah. Definitely. Anyway, I'll take over. You can go mingle."
"Everyone's drunk now. Even Keith."
Keith turned, "I'm not drunk."
"Mmhmm. I'm going to use the restroom. I'll be right back."
Pidge walked off, leaving Keith awkwardly in Matt's bubble.
The comfortable silence quickly slid into icy territory and Keith felt it trickling up his back unpleasantly.
"So, uh, why are you always wearing sunglasses?" Matt said. "People don't normally wear them inside, you know. Is it a statement or something?"
"Uh, no... I get headaches a lot. They help."
"...Right."
He cleared his throat, fiddling with the cup in his hands for a few more moments before pushing himself off the table, tossing the cup into the trash, and walking into the crowd with a, "I'll go...uh...yeah."
He bumbled through the crowd. He was hoping Pidge would come back, but at the same time, he didn't want to hide behind other people. He needed to do...something.
God, he couldn't think clearly. Maybe Pidge had been right and he had drunk too much. He was having difficulties making it through the crowd, not that he ever liked pushing through crowds, but ugh. Dizzily, he stumbled into the hallway and tried to open the first door he came to. He needed the bathroom probably. He didn't know where it was.
The door was locked, so he squinted, looking down the hallway until he found a door that felt right. He slipped in and closed it, letting his head bang against the wood as peace settled around him.
It was a good idea, finding some peace. It was just what he wanted. He let himself slide to the ground, warm and head pleasantly buzzing with a touch of sickness. He didn't feel like coming was an explosive mistake yet.
Until he opened his eyes.
It was dark - the light was off - but a street lamp outside was shining some light in through the window. Sitting on the bed in the center of the room, book in hand, was Shiro.
He was just sitting there, tilting his head back like he was waiting for something. And then, quietly, he said, "...Keith...?" It was very much a question. "...You're Keith Kogane."
Keith nodded quietly. When that got no response, he cleared his throat. "Uh. Yeah."
Shiro's responding grin was brilliant even in the darkness. "So you come to parties. I didn't take you for the type honestly."
"No, I... Um. Pidge invited me." Now that he was already talking, he figured he might as well keep going. "About the other day, with the coffee, I'm so so sorry. I wasn't paying attention. I know it had to have burned you -"
"- Nah, it's fine. I've had worse. It doesn't bother me."
Keith rubbed at his elbow and chewed on the inside of his cheek. "...Um, is this your room? I didn't mean to barge in. I had been looking for the bathroom...or the way out, I dunno," he laughed nervously, disliking the way that his heart felt like it was racing to some finish line. Any second now, he knew it'd just stutter to a halt. "Uh...I should just go -"
"-It's alright," Shiro said quickly, leaning forward. "I've wanted to talk with you lately, anyway."
"But if you were about to sleep, I can just come back later -"
"-I wasn't."
"But..." Keith frowned at the book in his hand, at the lights on the ceiling that were out. "...Why is it dark in here then?"
Shiro laughed. "Right. I forgot. Here, let me turn it on for you." He slid off his bed, walked to the wall, and flicked the switch on. Light flooded the room and Keith cringed against it. Too bright and too sudden.
Shiro just smiled pleasantly, going back to his bed. "Better?"
"Um. Yeah. Do you live here? With Matt?"
"We share the apartment with a few others. It's a good setup besides the few times a year when Matt gets inspired to throw a party," Shiro laughed softly. "How about you? It's your first year here, right? Do you live on campus?"
"No, across the road."
There was something surreal about being in the small private space of Shiro's room with him, who sat quietly on his bed, the sound of music thumping in the distance. Rain patted the walls softly. Keith remembered the crowds that always surrounded Shiro, the bright smile always on his face, energy of the sun exuding off of him. He seemed like a different Shiro now, relaxed and soft, quiet and thoughtful. A child of the moon moreso. He knew his head was swimming and he probably wasn't at his best to talk, but when would he get another chance like this? It was as if it was handed to him on a silver plate.
"I'm sorry about our first two meetings," Shiro said. "It seemed like you wanted to say something, but you never quite got the chance. I'm all ears if you want to ask now."
Right. The colors. It seemed like the wrong thing for Keith to mention during their first official conversation together. If the past was any indication, Keith needed at the very least five more months of mentally preparing and slowly understanding Shiro's backstory to feel comfortable enough to mention anything remotely close to maybe possibly seeing colors.
But if not now, Keith would never get the opportunity to ask in private again, so he forced himself, the thing that had been plaguing him for week: "Um, right...have you, uh, happened to see anything strange recently?"
Shiro's brow furrowed. He opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. "Strange?"
"Yeah, like...any changes. Anything...unusual. Anything at all."
Shiro shrugged. "I haven't noticed anything. If you can be more specific maybe I can help you out."
Keith cringed inside. "I dunno. Like...like seeing something different . Something not...normal."
"Seeing," Shiro echoed, voice dipping low in something that sounded close to disappointment.
"Um, yes? Visually. Seeing."
"Uh..." For once, Shiro's smile was faded. There was a hesitant furling of his brows that Keith watched with a sinking feeling. "Is this supposed to be a joke?"
"A joke? No. I just..." He sighed in defeat, eyes darting for the door just in case he had to make an emergency exit. "I'm sorry. I'm not being clear. I don't know how to explain it. I was just...wondering. Nevermind."
"Oh..." There was still hesitance in his voice. "I haven't, but uh, that's not out of the ordinary for me because... I'm blind."
Keith blinked blankly. "You... You what? What'd you say?"
"I'm blind. I can't see." He waved a hand in front of his face and shrugged. "Nothing."
"You can't see...?"
The smile was returning, warming back up. He laughed a little. "No. ...I thought it was pretty obvious with the cane and all. I guess I'm glad you couldn't tell. Means I'm finally getting the hang of it."
Keith was staring. A wave of horror washed over him as he went over every word he had just said about seeing . How could he have not gotten it before? Shiro had a cane, for god's sake. It wasn't like Shiro had a limp. He was sitting in complete darkness, running his fingers over the pages. Keith felt like such an idiot.
"I'm so sorry," Keith whispered to Shiro, mortified. It felt like all he did was mess up.
"Nah," Shiro waved the thought away. "It's not your fault, don't worry about it."
"I didn't mean - It wasn't a joke. I really didn't know. I'm sorry." Keith could see the scar across his nose, stark now that it had his attention. "How?"
Shiro cleared his throat, face twisting in discomfort as he rose his fingers to his eyes. "Ah, it was just...an accident. I don't like talking about it."
"Right. No. Of course not. I'm sorry. No filter. Sorry."
"No worries."
He was slowly piecing things together. "...I guess that's why Matt is always so defensive over you..."
"I guess he's pretty bad," Shiro laughed. "There's no need - I can get around by myself just fine - but he means well. He's a good friend."
"Yeah..."
Shiro rose his eyebrows. "Anyway, I didn't mean to ignore your question. You said you saw something?"
"U-um, did I?"
A soft laugh. It was warm and rich and made Keith's heart skip a beat. "Something strange."
"...It was probably nothing."
Shiro nodded, as if that explained everything...or anything at all. "Well, if you remember, let me know. In the meantime, sit."
"I'd hate to intrude," Keith said. He'd already made a fool of himself enough as it was, he couldn't see it getting any better.
Shiro set the book down on his nightstand. "You're good. I was just reading, but I was getting kind of antsy anyway. All the music is getting to me."
Keith cautiously approached the bed and sat on the very edge. He peered over at the book curiously, wondering what a real-life Braille looked like. "Didn't want to join the party?"
"I was thinking about it. I just woke up this morning not totally in the mood for it though. It gets difficult for me to navigate around all the people and I just don't have the patience for it right now."
"I really can leave."
"Nah, sometimes I'm just not in the mood for crowds."
Keith smiled wryly and let out a long deep exhale. "I definitely get that."
"Oh, yeah?" Shiro laughed. "So, tell me. How are you liking college, Keith? Is it everything you hoped for and more?"
Keith let out a small laugh. "I...guess? It's alright."
"What are you majoring in?"
"Astrophysics. I know it sounds weird, but I like it. You?"
"Oh, god, astrophysics. In comparison, my major is going to sound really lame. That's impressive, Keith. It's hard work."
Keith laughed shyly, shaking his head. "I'm just trying it out. It's always interested me, but we'll see."
Shiro laughed. "That's cool. I know another astrophysics major and she loves it. Amazingly smart and the things she learns... I like going to the astronomy auditorium with her sometimes and she'll map out all the constellations for me, but I'm just a music major."
Keith turned to the upright piano in the corner. "Piano?"
"Uh-huh. Piano's my main instrument. I do some guitar, bass, violin, and cello too."
"Wow," Keith breathed, a little winded. "Talented."
"Well, I don't play them all well necessarily, but they're beautiful instruments and I enjoy it. What else can you ask for?"
"Do you perform?"
"I do. There's a concert a few days before Christmas. It's free. You should come if you'd like. There's hot chocolate out front by the fire pit after the performance every year. They turn on the lights to the Christmas tree. It's supposed to be really beautiful. It's a lot of fun."
"Sounds cool," Keith nodded.
"Not as fun as all the Halloween parties though, I'm sure."
Keith laughed. "Nah. I'm not much of a party kind of guy. This is mostly just an accident."
"Yeah? How would you rate the adventure so far?"
"It's good. Better than I thought already. I honestly had been picturing all the worst case scenarios. An awkward time in the corner, alone. Trying to escape before I even made it in through the door. Tripping and getting punch all over myself and someone else. We already know I'm fully capable of that."
Shiro laughed. "Everyone would survive," he assured Keith.
"But no, it's good. I found someone cool to talk to." Maybe it was the alcohol in the punch, maybe it wasn't. He felt brave talking to Shiro in ways he never felt talking to anyone else.
Shiro's responding smile was so warm and soft, it tugged at heartstrings inside Keith's chest he never realized he had.
Keith grinned despite himself, "Oh, I meant Pidge. Pidge is the cool one."
Shiro blinked.
"I'm kidding," Keith laughed. "I'm kidding."
"A jokester," Shiro laughed too. "Okay, Keith Kogane. I guess if you don't appreciate my company to the fullest, I'll have to send you back out to the dogs."
"The dogs? Is that what you call all of your guests?" It was definitely the punch; he couldn't even be mad.
Shiro laughed louder, the sound surprised. "No, not all. Not the pretty ones."
Keith blinked. Was he drunk or was that flirting? Or both.
Shiro was still laughing as he leaned back, tossing his forelock out of his eyes. "Keith Kogane," he said again, Keith's name warm and soft in his mouth. "I'm glad we get to finally meet."
"Finally?" Keith said, looking over at him.
"Yeah. You're kind of notorious around here. You have a name for yourself."
Keith frowned. He could feel the tension circling his gut suddenly. His voice dropped low. "Oh, yeah?"
"It's probably the motorcycle. We don't see many around here. People get curious and then when they realize it's something cool that they can't have, that develops into jealousy. They'll get over it."
Keith snorted without heat. "Right, it's the motorcycle they hate."
Noticing the dip in mood, Shiro said, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything bad. They talked about me for months when I first came, but then I got to know everyone and the talk died down. Everyone's just bored; no one actually believes all the stuff they hear. I've wanted to talk with you for weeks now to see who you are, without the rumor. Just plain Keith."
"Just plain Keith," Keith sighed.
"Yeah. Who is Keith?"
Keith shrugged and then caught himself. "Plain Keith is just Plain Keith. I don't know." He was picking at his nails. A nervous habit. "Who is Shiro?"
"Hmm... A lover of music."
The easy way he answered made the question sound so simple.
"Sometimes, on good days, it's like I can see the sky again in the music. It's magical."
Keith looked up, noticing the angles in Shiro's face, the way the light hit him. He was even more gorgeous up close, in his room, softened and comfortable. Keith had to turn away.
His eyes rested on the piano, a deep rich brown. It was hard to wrap his head around the fact that the man sitting beside him was the reason for the color, which some might've called a gift.
He didn't know what to think of it. He didn't know what to think of anything.
Even trying to simplify the answer, Keith couldn't think of who he was. He shrugged again, sighing. "Maybe I'll find an answer to that question someday. But not right now."
"That's fine." Again, it sounded so easy.
There was a knock on the door.
"Come in," Shiro said.
Matt walked in, holding a drink in his hand. "Hey, you haven't -" He stopped, frown on his face at Keith. "...What is he doing here?" He set the drink down on the nightstand table, pointing it out to Shiro.
"We were chatting," Shiro grinned brightly.
Matt's frown deepened. "Katie's been looking for you," Matt said to Keith in a disparaging tone that painted his obvious dislike.
Keith sniffed, rolling onto his feet. "I should go."
"Oh. You don't have to leave," Shiro said, actually looking sad.
"I've got an essay due Monday I should've started last week anyway. It was nice talking with you though."
"Yeah," Shiro said softly. "It really was. Come say hi sometime."
"I will," Keith said, not knowing if he was lying or not. "Thanks for letting me hide out in your room for a bit. Later."
Shiro waved, that warm smile on his face.
Keith turned before the butterflies in his heart became too much. That smile was too much and it had been directed right at him. He didn't know how he survived that conversation, but he felt warm and tingly inside and out, his fingers buzzing with electricity, and he wasn't sure if it was the punch or Shiro.
The first thing he did when he got back home was call Lance.
"Let me guess," Lance said around a mouthful of food when he picked up. "You need more love advice."
"I'm doing homework."
Keith could hear the rustling of a bag in the background and the loud crunch of food between teeth. "Yeah. Sure. Whatever. Shoot."
"Say Person A sees their soulmate, their world gets colors, all the usual stuff. What happens if Person B is blind?"
"Blind? Who's blind at your college?"
"N-no one!" Keith spluttered. "It's for homework! I just told you, can't you listen?!"
"Right, right. Well. Why do you keep calling to ask me these questions? I don't have a degree in 'soulmates'."
"You basically do. You've dated the most out of anyone I know."
"I'm the only person you know. And if anything, me dating a ton of people means I know the least about soulmates, doesn't it? Never have had one myself."
"Just... What do you think about it?"
"Think about what? If you're blind, you don't see, right? So they won't be seeing color anytime soon. Or ever. So you'll never know, only live the rest of your long miserable life in question. Who is she?"
"Homework assignment," Keith muttered tiredly.
"You seem more irritable today. I thought you were going to a party. To liven up. You know."
He pressed his fingers into his eyes until he saw spots. Colors bled into them and he grunted in disapproval, pulling back. "I've been getting headaches."
"Headaches? Since when does the impervious Keith get headaches? Maybe you need to get laid."
Keith slammed the phone onto its receiver.
He sighed, tilting his head to peer down at the campus below, lit dimly from the small amount of light the street lamps provided. It was a warm color, not totally harmful to Keith's headache, not like the lights inside his apartment that flickered with bright LED lighting.
It was a lot to get used to. He missed the blunt simplicity of his vision in monotone. He had waited so long for this - he should be happy, but he was more wired than before.
Antsily, he patted his pockets for another cigarette. It was a bad habit that he couldn't afford in this shitty apartment. As disgusting and small as it was, it had rules, and that included no smoking.
He cracked a window and leaned into the cool night air, breathing the thick smoke into his lungs.
Shiro.
Keith didn't know if it'd be too selfish to try to wedge himself a place in Shiro's life. Shiro was happy as he was now. Why drag him down by stepping into his life?
Keith sighed out grey, rubbing his cheeks roughly with the edge of his knuckles.
It was what he had always wanted - a chance at this - but somehow, it felt so wrong.