Patsy's Nightmare Love
Chapter 2
Patsy tries to find her mother and sister whilst all the prisoners are being sorted into barracks; her eyesight clear and her mind not reasonably steady. Patsy sorts through people, hoping to see her mother's blonde hair glowing in the sunlight that heats each prisoner's skin, but all the other prisoners are dulling the light around her. Her leg is tugged by someone small, small enough to tug on her pants Patsy yanks the hand off of her gazing the direction of her sister, she gasp with relief it could have been one of the many people around them but it was Hope who was joined at the hand of her mother.
"Patsy darling!" Her mother clutched her into her arms showing large quantities of relief now that her eldest has re-joined them.
"Mother what's going on?" Patsy asked confused by the soldiers separating women from their young children and pushing them into a wooden shack. Patsy's mother stood silent watching, trying to comprehend the view when her face suddenly drops into worry and fright. "Mother?" Patsy persists now staring at the worry dripping from her mother's eyes.
"They're separating mothers and children" Her mother's voice quakes, terrified to loose grasp of Patsy and Hope she grips them to her tighter.
Patsy watches closely, as kids scream and cry to be back in their mothers arms frightened to be taken from her own mothers. Patsy's observational talents exceed her thinking, bringing something to the front of her mind 'Those children are young, too young to be parted from their mother!' The thought strikes a recollection of what she had read about in the German newspaper, 'Children bed in a nursery, whilst 6+'s bed with their parents' perhaps those arrangements are replicated here.
"They're taking them to a nursery, only 6+ bed with their parents. Suppose because they need more care" Her mother listened carefully nodding with agreement, it sounded reasonable but her mother knew what was written in those newspapers is fictitious but she found it comforting coming from her daughter, as did Hope who showed signs of jealousy of the younger children. Patsy stood watching it carefully until it came down to them, the guard checked their ages and tossed all three of them aside into a barrack to then be lead by another guard to a buck consisting of thin mats to sleep upon. All three are cramped into the small crawl space and try to find a position comfortable enough to lie in.
"It's too claustrophobic" Patsy contests, wriggling in the small sleeping place trying to gain comfort.
"Unfortunately agreed, but don't you dear challenge it Pats" Her mother scolds are, knowing Patsy's headstrong nature.
"I wouldn't dare to mother, this upon my face is reason enough not to" Her mother looks at her face, sorrow glowing in her eyes "Don't worry mother, it no longer hurts" Patsy gives her mother a reassuring smile and her face springs into one too.
"How long are we going to be on holiday?" Hope naively asks, causing her mother to gulp with distress, knowing this is no holiday.
"Not too long" Patsy states putting Hope's mind at rest and relieving the pressure from her mothers.
The barrack is full to capacity with women, many cramped up into small crawl spaces leaving no room for physical activity. Every corner was a black whole, the only light came from between the wood and when the door was open. Patsy lay beside her mother, unable to sleep like the others her mind was sorting through everything, replaying the capture, the destruction to her home, the horrid ,transport conditions to then find her mind coming upon a subject more pleasing- Delia Busby. The only pleasant factor of her situation was the bright eyed girl with the gentle touch, who cried from kindness and was kind in return. She desperately wanted to see Delia again, the light that made her heart pace quicker than its natural beat, the kindness radiating from her soul Patsy's thoughts are truly infected by Delia. Patsy's face springs into a smile whilst her eyes lay shut and the thoughts flood her mind, in the barracks silence was impossible- mothers still weep over their departed children and guards continuously shout outside, the silence treasured 3 mornings ago now a distant memory one Patsy and her family hold onto.
The daylight beams stream into the barrack illuminating it slightly so the entrapped women can view their surroundings.
Patsy P.O.V
The barrack door suddenly crashes against the barrack wall and I'm brought out my daydream to find a large man standing in the middle of the barrack, everyone looked at the soldier including myself awaiting him to say something, do something but nothing. I gaze at the others who are now confused of his presence- finally he speaks in a masculine voice, very low in pitch.
"Listen up ladies, you're here for your own safety" The man gazes around at each of us before turning to the sound of a murmur behind him and smacking an innocent girl across the face, shocking myself and the others we avoid ourselves being hit by continuing to be silent. "Anyone who has a problem with it, may be punished for doing so" The man's words are final as he exits the barracks a lower ranking solider enters shouting "You may leave the barracks, each night you return!" that said, women begin to descend from their bucks so I take the opportunity to and follow the crowd out, my mother pulls me back so she can whisper into my ear "Bring food and water" her eyes sincere upon mine and I can see the desperation in her eyes, I smile reassuring her and making it now my mission to get them. My mother eases her grip on my arm and I exit the barracks to the blazing sun, straining my eyes once adjusted I can see a trench full of mud tinted water, I gaze further but this is the only water in sight so I find a cup and fill it before travelling further around camp to find the food serving facilities the queue was grand but being as small as I am I pushed in easily getting only enough food for myself, I suppose my mother be frightened to bring Hope outside- to leave the safety of the barracks and risk encountering dangerous or deteriorating people, Hope wouldn't be able to see these people without continuous night terrors. I procure what my mother has asked for and run back to them in the barracks, when handing it to her she gazes at the discoloured water and little food given.
"This is undrinkable" I felt like I had let her down but I had no reason to seeming as it's the only available water I could find.
"Mother it's all I could find" I explain and she accepts it, sipping at the water and passing it to my sister. My thirst didn't need to be quenched nor did my stomach need substance, I had other things occupying my mind and I venture out once again to put them at ease. I didn't want to be cramped into a small crawl space with my mother and sister, I wanted to help like Delia Busby, she had truly inspired me.
I approach the white medical tent, without the evidence of an injury so my nerves rattle, just getting into the tent was my first task, whatever came after I'll deal with. I walk peacefully to it avoiding attention to be brought to me, not that anyone cared or was watching. I slip quickly into the tent and gaze around trying to find Delia, the corner with deceased bodies in it had gotten bigger, and I hope it wasn't Delia who confirmed their death. I stood a little out of place until I spot the brunette who is attending to another helpless, dying prisoner and I want to know more about his condition.
I join Delia's side, to her surprise whilst she's proceeding to tell the man of his severe conditions, not losing her focus she ignores my presence and continuous.
"Sir, your wounds are extensive and unfortunately can only be helped with surgery" Delia's voice soft but quaking, telling a man he's as good as dead is hard for anyone, as bright as Delia's spirit perhaps it's hardest of all for her.
"Do it, help me nurse!" The man cries out begging for Delia's help whilst clenching his wound, which to me looked similar to that of a gunshot.
"I don't have the means to help you sir, I'm so very sorry" Delia turned away from the man who is left lying in agony, I follow at her side as she proceeds to clean tools of any dirt with a cloth and liquid from the hidden water.
"How can I help you Patsy, is you head hurting?" She asks not looking at me, but focusing on the scrubbing of the silver tools.
"I would like to help you" I say taking up another cloth an drying the tools.
"Help me? How?" I was stunned by the question, I'm sure this tent had more than one person working in it but her responding question tell me otherwise.
"I would like to help you, help others as well as learn a thing or two" my tones very frank, I spoke honestly and didn't leave a smidgen of detail out. " You've lit quite a dangerous spark in me Delia, something I was afraid had gone out" Delia looks at me frowning with her eyebrows.
"A dangerous spark?" She asks confused by my formal lingo.
"Of inspiration, inspiration to learn" Delia nods her head signalling to me she understands, however her mind is troubled by the idea this I can tell from her eyes.
"You're young, you mustn't be surrounded by such horror"
"So are you. Neither of us should be but if I am not able to help somewhere on this camp I'm afraid I shall go insane" My words harshly true, but with merit. I believe being trapped in a small place with my siblings would make my mind melt to mush and that I wasn't prepared to let happen.
"When you put it like that how can one resist?"
"They simply can't" I had retreated to whispers spotting the guard enter the tent, but not only to avoid a thumping, to be more intimate with Delia. She made my heart scream when I saw her and every time our eyes lay upon each other's the function of my lung decreases. Her kind features spring into a smile and the guard strolls over with the same nasty look upon his face.
"Watashi wa anata ga jōdan o itta to omotta"
His speech fluent in Japanese he knew we 'English folk' couldn't understand it unless he translated it and his facial expression relayed he frustration of having to changes his speech. " I thought I told you to scamper off" His English is extremely shaky and he pries his words out struggling with each on, however I now understand and can reply if Delia didn't take the liberty of doing so.
"This is Nurse Patsy Mount, she has been assigned to the tent" The guard listens carefully not quite understanding her welsh accent; he frowns and looks at me. I repeat Delia's words in my posh toned voice.
"I'm Nurse Mount, I have been told to work here" I dumb the words down and the guard nods in acknowledgement leaving us to it neglecting the questions that I had prepared answers for. "That easy?" I ask turning to Delia as the guard leaves us to go back to his post.
"The savages don't care if you're qualified or not as long as you can do the job" Her eyes don't lay upon me as she continues scrubbing the tools and watching for the guard.
"You are though, right?" I ask confused by the false implication of her being a qualified nurse.
"No Patsy, I'm merely 17" her tone portrayed outrage, but all I could focus on was that I hadn't asked for an age but she had given me it, only an hour ago she wouldn't even give me her name. "I've worked so long in this dump, that my knowledge of nursing could be that of a professional one" Delia's tone now softer, explaining the reason behind her outrage.
"How long have you been in this ghastly place?" I ask tenderly, concerned about Delia's sensitive soul being entrapped in a horrid place.
"Long enough" Delia swiftly turns away from me, dropping the tools on the makeshift table and the cloth into the hidden water before striding away to attend to a newly wounded prisoner. I continue cleaning the tools before joining at her side to help.
"Pretty blonde, help" A man with a soot-coated face asks as Delia lays him down on a folded out makeshift bed. I new see the soot and instantly grab a whipping cloth with clean water on it, returning to him and cleaning his face of the dirt whilst Delia cuts his clothing from his body and has a better view of his injuries, his bony legs are slashed from knee to ankle and his ribs are very visible, blood came flowing from his back onto the wooden framed medical bed and began dripping through it unto the muddy floor. I had never seen anything as dreadful as this poor, hard working man begging for my help, I did my best to make him comfortable when the guard briskly shoved me away from the situation, I fought to go back but his stern stance diminished my attempts "There are other patients" his crackly English voice exclaimed and he shoves me to a bed with a woman lying upon it forcing Delia to work alone, the feeling of being pushed away from the begging man is unbearable, the urge to charge back to him was overwhelming but the lady in front of me wept with pain and my heart couldn't take ignoring her.
"Hello I'm…" I contemplated on whether to tell her my name; Delia hadn't done so when she treated me so I suppose it's not to be necessary. " Nurse just get it out of me!" The woman cries at me and I search for the thing she persisted I remove, but I can't see no knife or any other sharp objects I gaze closer at the woman and find the problem, she has a cigarette pieced through her skin only the filter showing around it graced red from the flame. I had seen a girl in school with a cigarette burn from her father but that was only a tiny red spot upon her arm- now this, the cigarette was actually stuck into the skin.
"Oh dear…" I gasp purely shocked at the sight, I am clueless on how to aid this women but very wound must be clean, something I had learnt from procuring grazes and my mother treating them. I clean around the cigarette, with each touch the woman winces and I try to soften them.
"You're frightfully young" The woman's Spanish accent was very illumines, her words making me jump; I expected a scream of pain not an observation on my age.
"Not much so" I say not looking the woman in the face but focusing on cleaning her red burnt skin.
"You're not fooling anyone" The woman's tone seems argumentative, insulting even and I just ignore her speech leaving her to get tweezers, my mother had removed a splinter with a pair of tweezers; I suppose they'll work to remove a cigarette.
Delia P.O.V
I go about treating the man's slashed back, something I'd seen many times before- the Japanese really love the whips. I begin to clean them of blood when the screeching of a woman instantly catches my attention, my eyes shoot over to Patsy who is holding a cigarette with tweezers in the little light that seeps into the tent before tossing it away arousing my curiosity. I don't let it distract me from my current task; I clean the man's slashes and follow the normal procedure of sending the able to walk back out into the population. Patsy's patient still lay in the makeshift medical bed and I can no longer stand my agonising curiosity, I sternly stride over looking like a boss on a mission to avoid a scolding from the guard and I stand by Patsy who is scrubbing the tweezers clean once again.
"Was that a cigarette I saw you examining?" I break the silence, appeasing my nosy mind.
"It was stuck in the woman's arm, I had to pry it out" Her sweet English voice explains, as her tender gaze is laid upon my own I could see the infliction of the incident in her eye's, I now felt guilty for my brisk questioning and I soften my tone.
"Oh I see. Are you finished treating her?" I ask most tenderly, up holding my gaze into her blue sparkling eyes.
"Not unless you have anything more we can give her" I shake my head, confirming her assumption, I sense she needed more to comfort her but with a guard watching our every move the hug I had planned to give her is swapped for words.
"There has been people worse off" I touch her hand slightly whilst falsely reaching for an instrument, she stops moving and our hands linger together. I began to have dangerous thoughts, thoughts my mother swore to be evil and had punished me for having now I couldn't resist but think them, her chastising presence no longer lingering over me I let myself feel and I felt so much towards Patsy who's hand I now leave alone.
"Then, yes I'm finished" Patsy seems oblivious to my touch, maybe the surroundings being too distracting, or my action being outrageous in a frightful place such as this, one thing I knew for sure her focus was solely on the cleanliness of the tweezes. Now having confirmation that the patient had received treatment, I depart from Patsy's side and discharge the woman helping her to her feet which she strides upon exiting the tent with a hint of sassiness, I watch her go before spotting the dismay upon Patsy's face in the corner of my eye, she briskly approaches me and looks at me square on.
"She was my patient" Her tone strong and stern, reeking with disapproval forcing me to harden my attitude.
"Nurse Mount we have procedures to follow, one is to discharge the able to walk back out into the camp so others can replace them" I hated being so harsh with Patsy but I felt like the situation called for it. Patsy didn't seem too pleased with my authoritative speech and I felt extremely apologetic for it.
"Nurse Busby, I comprehend the procedure and I shall remember it in future" Once finished she walks past me and I tessellate with her, watching her aid another patient, shamelessly the sound of her refined English voice speaking my name was what stuck in my mind until another injured prisoner entered the tent and I pushed the thought deeper into the back of my mind now focusing only on aiding the fellow prisoner.
Narrator
The day is filled with patients flying in and out of the tent, Patsy follows Delia's lead learning from her and helping with the things she has knowledge in. She runs herself rigid, going without food and water until night falls when most prisoners are sleeping in the makeshift beds and the muddy field is clear of everyone who is packed back into their barracks, except for Patsy and Delia. Delia neglected to tell Patsy that barrack sleeping wasn't for them, they now bed in the tent so someone is always there to aid a person even in nightfall.
"I need to return to my mother and sister" Patsy contested, afraid of losing them in the cramped barracks to never been seen again.
"Patsy, I should've explained to you that this duty comes with sacrifice, that for us is the barrack" Patsy frowns at Delia who is gently laying her eyes upon her dirty smudged face.
"Meaning what? That I can't see them again?" Patsy's fear echoes through her speech and Delia is quick to relieve her of it.
"Gosh no, you can see them whenever you like… you just can't bed with them" Delia's voice sweet upon Patsy's ears deflates her fear, she walks off and Patsy follows behind. A material sheet is thrown back and there lay two makeshift beds with food and water besides them, Patsy couldn't believe her eyes, the hidden quarters appeared so luxurious (apart from the mud stained surrounding material of the tent) compared to the claustrophobic barracks.
"Delia, we possible couldn't" Patsy's tone high pitch, disapproving of the sleeping quarters.
"Don't be so naive Patsy, we must" Delia enters the quarters, taking up her tray of foot and tin cup of water and sitting upon the bed that had her body engraved in it, the reality of working in a such important place now hitting Patsy with incredible force " Patsy Mount you're letting the draft in" Delia had figured that commanding something of Patsy would be unwise and instead hints at what she is wanting.
"I can't sleep here, not while my sister and mother suffer in those horrid barracks" Delia found Patsy's stubborn nature endearing but infuriating feeling like she has explained it to her enough.
"If you don't the guard will force you and I don't want to witness such a sight Patsy" Patsy visibly gulps, thinking of what the guard may do if she refuses. Patsy closes the curtain slowly, enclosing herself in the same space as Delia and taking to her bed.
"I'm not eating…" Delia rolls her eyes as Patsy's tray goes untouched and finds it to be her duty to convince the youngster.
"If you don't, no one else will" Patsy frowns, confused by Delia's welsh tinted words, believing her to talk nonsense "It'll go to waste, the guards don't condone sharing" now Patsy understood how strict the camp guards could be, they saw the harm in simply giving to others and the food was to precious to waste in a deprived place. Patsy realises as such and begins to pick at the food that is of a close resemblance to garbage.
The meals are eaten in silence, Delia finishing eat and began sipping little drops of her water to make it last whilst grabbing for a book and reading its contents. Patsy found it hard to stomach, the stench flooding her nostrils and the food roughly slipping down her throat, Delia would pick her eyes up from her book to Patsy's tiny coughs as she desperately forces the food down. Delia offers her water cup Patsy's way something she wouldn't dare do with any other prisoner an Patsy accepts it talking a gulp to force the food down, it works and once her throat is clear she thanks Delia kindly, whose face springs into a smile pleased to see it helped her. The silence then dripped into the tent, the guard's footsteps outside echoed through it along with the snoring of patients.
"Delia, my mind is running itself rigid with curiosity" Patsy suddenly speaks and Delia lays her book down to gaze clearly at her, stunned by the frankness.
"What might you be curious about?" Delia inquires; intoxicated by the blue oceans she is gazing into.
"You, how long have you been trapped here?" Now Patsy could ask the question that had been building in her mind throughout the day.
"I can't recall arriving, I kept track of the sunrise and set but after the 50th set I no longer saw the point" Patsy's eyes widen, shocked at the amount of sunsets Delia has seen whilst imprisoned.
"So many days, how have you coped?"
"I wasn't going to let the savages break my welsh spirit, my mother taught me better than that" The mention of her mother transfers Delia's gaze onto the muddy ground and Patsy notices the sudden change in Delia's cheery facial features.
"Taught? Has she… passed?" Patsy's speech comes out quaky, afraid to upset her.
"I wouldn't know…" Delia's eyes shoot back up to Patsy's and the gaze encourages her to share more "I was captured whilst on holiday, alone" Patsy's heart sinks and she instantly leaps to Delia's side wrapping an arm around her, Delia falls into the warm touch allowing the affection to flow through her body- something she had been missing.
"You're not alone now" Patsy whispers into Delia's ear, illuminating the dangerous thoughts Delia had earlier that day intensifying them, she turns her face slightly to find it a breathe away from Patsy's their eyes connect and Patsy brushes Delia's fallen strands of hair behind her ear, a queer decision to make however Delia didn't complain having the desperate urge to steal a kiss.
"May I...?" Delia stutters now shivering from the desire. Patsy edges closer, as Delia's raspy voice attracts her.
"You mustn't" Patsy whispers, her breathing is heavy upon Delia's parted lips.
"I simply can't resist" Delia gazes into Patsy's eyes trying to search for resistance but is surprised by the want present upon her blue purls. Delia picks her hand up and places it on Patsy's cheek; she relaxes into her palm and Delia moves closer brushing her lips on Patsy's.
"We can't!"
Patsy pulls away, jumping from Delia's bed to standing near the entrance to the sleeping quarters. Delia grips her mouth with her hand unable to believe how dumb her actions were.
"Patsy I'm dearly sorry, I shouldn't have" Delia desperately tries to portray her sorrow but the action was of a pleasant nature and hard for Delia to falsely express.
"You shouldn't! I'm not… I've never" Patsy's words are spat out one at a time, her thoughts not being clear and her sentences not being constructional.
"I'm such a fool" Delia stands to Patsy's level and approaches her "Please forgive my actions, my lapse of judgment is in fault" Patsy's gaze now imposing on Delia's sorrow stricken face, the feeling of false accusation troubling her mind.
"You're no fool Delia Busby, you're a blessing and I would… I am flatted but…" Patsy soon loses conviction in her words trying to deny the river dance her heart was doing whilst her eye's admired the brunette in front of her.
"But I'm a woman?" Delia assumes the rest of Patsy's words, incorrect in her assumption.
"I'm aware, the best kind but I already feel over privileged as it is"
"Patsy, you're valuing my affection too much" Delia stops a short distance away from Patsy with desperation in her breath "I'd never dare to make you feel uncomfortable with my attention, for that I'm truly sorry"
Patsy's mind spins trying to comprehend exactly what it is she wants to reveal to Delia, she desires Delia but her moral teachings and suffering family cloud her certainty. The lips of the other looking so delicious, luminous in the rancid conditions of the camp the attraction to them wasn't without reason but the thought of her mother stunned her with resilience.
"You're attention isn't received with prejudices. I believe we're merely first day strangers- to share such affection" Patsy makes rejection of Delia's attention softer for her to hear and they share a jolly laugh before laying in each of theirs beds and trying to sound out the footsteps of the guards outside.