"Previously on Total Drama Notan Island!" Chris McLean exclaimed. "Eighteen… unique teens arrived here at the fabulous Notan Island to compete for in the latest season of Total Drama! They learned of their crappy living arrangements and that they'll be competing for the one million dollar prize. I split them into three teams, The Leaping Lizards, The Terrible Tigers, and the…. Um…"

"Says here you didn't give them a team name!" Chef said, looking at some papers. "You messed up,"

"…I didn't?" Chris asked.

"No," Chef replied. "Unless you think I'm lying!?"

"Huh. Uh… The Boring Bears!" Chris exclaimed. "Yep, that's their name. Anyways, now that the teams are formed. Who will soar and who will go belly up? Find out on this episode of… Total! Drama! Notan Island!"

In the middle of the camp, The Leaping Lizards were having a team meeting. The six, Anthony, Ivory, Sue-Li, Jared, Kyle, and Clementine, stood in a circle near the flag pole.

"Alright team," Jared said, looking around. "We are CLEARLY the strongest team here, I mean, we have me, Anthony, and Kyle. That alone is the strongest group of mother-effers on this entire island. So all we need to do is to work as a TEAM and fuck shit up! Who's with me?!"

"…Did you only name the guys on the team on purpose or…?" Clementine asked.

Clementine: "Jared is clearly a sexist, I mean, really? Kyle? Anthony I guess I get, even though he is clearly just musclebound. But Kyle is not more muscular than myself or Ivory."

Jared: "What? I didn't say them because they aren't strong! Duh! No gendered thing about it! I'm just tryna keep the damn team strong, and if that means taking out the three girls… then so be it!"

"So what?" Jared said. "You guys are weak. Gender has NOTHING to do with it."

"Okay but Kyle is not a muscular guy here either," Clementine rebutted. "Why is suddenly in the strong man club?"

"Hey man," Kyle said. "Don't bring my name into this one…"

"Because he's got that mental toughness!" Jared said. "The guy is smart! Look at his glasses!"

"I'm an international chess champ," Clementine said. "Kyle is what… an anime nerd?"

"Now that was just uncalled for," Kyle replied.

"Ladies," Anthony interjected. "Let's not argue, let's just feast our eyes and souls on my… sexy body…"

Anthony began flexing to the dismay of everyone. "Abs are gross," Sue-Li said with a sigh.

"Look man," Jared rolled his eyes. "You either got it or ya don't, and in my opinion, Kyle's got it. You don't. Prove to me you don't suck!"

Kyle: "I like it for the plot, okay?!"

Meanwhile, in the woods. Marshall is seen talking to Dawson and Vanessa. "This is excellent. I believe that the three of us will make the perfect team! We have MY amazing brains, Vanessa's dazzling beauty, and Dawson's… uh, vote! Yes!"

"My vote?" Dawson said. "I-Is that all I'm really good for?!"

"Of course, my henchman!" Marshall exclaimed. "In the end, that is all that is necessary. We need three votes, you supply us with that third. Therefore, that's what I say!"

"Uh… okay…" Dawson said. "So why isn't Vanessa just a vote then?"

"Because lame-o," Vanessa butted in. "I am PRETTY! You are just a weird ginger FREAK!"

"W-what?" Dawson stuttered.

Marshall laughed loudly. "Oh never mind this, you're a vote for us, end of story!"

Marshall: "This is all going perfectly according to plan, I need dumb people on my side if I am to win this game and they are the perfect couple of lemmings for this to work! Victory will be mine in no time, I just have to neutralize all my threats."

Vanessa: "I mean duh Marshall's a dickhead but like he called me pretty and wants me to go far so like… I'm okay with it! I'm trying to get some money, baby!"

Dawson: "I figured this would happen… I'm not exactly the most likable person ever. I guess I am just expendable…"

James and Misty were sitting on the edge of the dock together, alone. None of the rest of the team appeared to be anywhere near them.

"Honestly, I am glad to at least be on a team with one sane person," James said. "If I had been stuck with just those weirdos I'd have lost my mind!"

"Agreed," Misty laughed. "Ziggy is okay I guess, a bit too cheery, but the other three… oh man don't even get me started! Interesting from a journalistic standpoint… not from an interacting one.

James: "Yeah Misty is pretty much my only friend on this team, she's the only one who I can actually have a conversation with. I appreciate it a lot!"

"By the way, have you even seen Ziggy since we all split up?" James asked.

"Uh, I don't think so?" Misty said.

Suddenly, Ziggy popped out of the water and jumped onto the dock, scaring the other two. "Looking for me?"

"Jesus! Yes, we were wondering where you were…" James said.

"Ah, well I was becoming one with my fish brethren!" Ziggy exclaimed. "I strive every day to become one with nature, and it is working more and more! I feel so enlightened…"

"Fascinating," Misty said.

Misty: "Like I said before, these people are absolutely fascinating in their bizarre beliefs! Honestly, where do you even find these people?"

Meanwhile, On the deck of the cabin, Milo was sitting on the stairs. Lyn came up to him and began poking him intently.

"What's wrong? What's wrong? What's wrong? What's wrong?" Lyn continued.

"Stop poking me," Milo said sternly.

"Why?" Lyn pressed.

"Because it's annoying," Milo said.

"Okay!" Lyn suddenly stopped poking him and sat down next to him. "What's up, buttercup?"

"I'm a bit bummed about this game honestly…" Milo sighed. "It's not what I expected at all…"

Lyn looked at him awkwardly. "Why? Did you expect it to be much more like glamorous or something because I did too! But it's okay! Because we're here together!"

"No, it's not that…" Milo said. "It's just like… this team is all like, so negative."

"I feel that!" Lyn said. "Just ignore the negativity! We will eventually purge them all from existence…"

"That's a bit… dark," Milo said.

Milo: "Honestly I am not really having a good time right now here, my team is full of buffoons! Heck, the only one who has talked to me at length since we even got here is Lyn, who I am pretty sure is a few cards short of a full deck…"

Lyn: "Milo is soooooo nice and sweet and cute! I just want to pinch his cheeks! But sadly the negativity is bringing him down and I don't want to see that! I think that we need to begin purging the negativity from this game once and for all! Hahaha!"

Dawson then walked up to the trio and asked them, "Do I seem like a pushover?"

"Uh… no?" Milo replied. "Why do you ask?"

"Well like, um…" Dawson stuttered. "I don't seem… weak?"

"I guess not," Milo replied. "You're like the biggest guy on the team."

Lyn grabbed him in a hug. "Don't worry Dawson! You can do whatever you want to do as long as you believe in yourself!"

"Oh wow, thanks…" Dawson said, happily. Milo half smiled.

"Of COURSE!" Lyn exclaimed. "I am HERE for you!"

Dawson: "Lyn and Milo are very nice, especially compared to the others… I like talking to them."

Wednesday suddenly appeared and sat down right next to the two. "I am sad,"

"Huh? Why? Why? Why?" Lyn repeated. Milo rolled his eyes.

"Nobody is listening to my poetry," Wednesday solemnly said.

"Oh really? Let's hear it!" Lyn said, excitedly. "We would LOVE to hear it, right Milo?!"

"Huh? Oh, yeah…" Milo said.

Wednesday quietly cleared her throat. "Skulls. Bones. Damn. I hate life. My bones are dry. Ugh!" Wednesday stood up to bow quickly. "Thank you,"

Lyn and Milo simply sat there.

Lyn: "Wednesday is EXACTLY what I mean by negativity that is unneeded! That poem? Completely negative! You need to LOVE life! That's the whole purpose of being here!"

Milo: "Like I said, this team sucks."

Meanwhile, in the girl's cabin, D'arcy was plugging her ears as Carl was screeching the song of his people.

"M'lady," Carl said. "Did you enjoy my rendition of the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic theme song?"

"No… no I didn't!" D'arcy exclaimed. "That show is for CHILDREN! You're a grown man! What is wrong with you?"

"B-But the lore is so complex!" Carl defended himself. "I have a body pillow signed by the voice actress of Derpy Hooves!"

D'arcy screamed and ran out of the cabin. "M'lady! Come back!" Carl exclaimed as she ran out.

Carl: "Ugh! Elliot was wrong!"

D'arcy: "Ugh! I cannot stand that fucking loser! I seriously cannot even right now!"

D'arcy ran out into the middle of the woods right into Evan, who was boogieing to non-existent music. "Wha-?"

"Suh dude!" Evan said, jovially.

"Oh… it's just… you," D'arcy shuddered. "The smelly one…"

Evan scratched his head. "Hey dude, I don't get that but like, you seem a bit upset what's the problem-o?"

"That degenerate male has been harassing me since we got here!" D'arcy exclaimed. "He has been making me want to rip his junk off and feed it to him!"

"Woah!" Evan exclaimed. "Pause on the negative vibes, bromiga! Calm down, he's gone for now."

"Yeah, but he'll be back," D'arcy rolled her eyes. "Disgusting neckbeards like him can't take no for an answer.

D'arcy: "Carl is like a mosquito, like all the other disgusting incel bastards that plague society! He needs to just like, die or something."

Evan: "D'arcy is a good soul bro, she's rough as fuck on the exterior but like I know she ain't all bad bro!"

Sue-Li, Clementine, and Ivory were sitting around the elimination area. "Clementine, Ivory, I think you guys know why I called you here…" Sue-Li began.

"The guys suck," Ivory said. "You've been over this already."

"No but guys come on!" Sue-Li exclaimed. "If we don't act, the guys club is gonna take over!"

Clementine shrugged. "That much should be obvious, clearly we're in. However, if you wish to get technical. We're only three people of a six person tribe, we need four for a majority."

"Well that is a bit of a problem, isn't it?" Sue-Li said. "Ugh, they all suck! How the hell are we supposed to decide?!"

"We have time, it's not entirely necessary right now to figure it out," Clementine said. "We just need to eventually come together and decide on one to flip eventually."

"Yeah, but who'd be dumb enough to flip on their allies?" Ivory said.

"You'd be surprised…" Clementine replied.

Sue-Li: "The girl's alliance is such a good idea, now those meat heads will really know who's boss!"

Clementine: "The girls alliance is honestly a necessary evil at this point. Neither Sue-Li nor Ivory are exactly worthwhile allies in the long run. Sue-Li is unstable and Ivory hardly cares. Regardless though, I'm rolling with them for the time being and hope to find a weak spot in the guys brodown going on here."

Suddenly the loudspeaker began to crackle loudly, alerting everyone of an incoming message. "Attention all campers! The first challenge of the season will take place in twenty minutes! Meet me at the top of that reeeeeeeeeally tall hill over there… you know the one. If you're not there in 20… you'll get the boot!"

Everyone suddenly gasped.

Lyn: "The boot? I don't want the boot!"

Twenty minutes later, the entire cast had rushed up the gigantic hill and were out of breath, except for Marshall. Chris looked at his watch. "Well, twenty minutes is up! I guess Marshall's gonna get the boot! Haha!"

"Oh no!" Ziggy exclaimed. "That is most unfortunate!"

"Good," D'arcy said. "Another degenerate male out of the picture."

Chris held up a very large, stinky boot. "It's really stinky, and he's gotta wear it all day!"

Marshall suddenly emerged from over the hill. "Like Chris would ever actually boot someone for no reason, even Ezekiel was given another chance, and everybody hated him!"

"Enough, enough," Chris said. "Marshall, remember what I said about critiquing my hosting!"

Marshall sighed. "Yeah,"

"Alright, good!" Chris exclaimed. "So, you may have already guessed but the first challenge is a fan favorite!"

"Oh boy!" Lyn exclaimed.

"Thank you for your enthusiasm over your impending death, Lyn!" Chris laughed. "Your first challenge will be jumping off this 1,000 foot high cliff into the shark infested waters below! There is a small safe zone within the water and if you make it in there your team gets a point! If you don't make it in, you don't score a point, but you also don't lose any points either! However, if you decide to NOT jump, you will not only cost your team a valuable point, but you will look like a total dork in the process!"

"Can't have that," Evan said. "The Ev-ster is NOT a dork."

James simply face palmed.

"Now, first up is the Terrible Tigers! Go!" Chris said.

The six stood right by the edge of the cliff, horrified.

Ziggy suddenly inched back. "I feel no need to be afraid, I am one with the ocean!" Ziggy then ran straight off the cliff and plummeted directly into the safe zone.

"Oh, wow, uh…" Misty said. "Ziggy just… jumped…"

"Yo! Ziggy!" James yelled. "You okay?"

Down in the safe zone, Ziggy gave a thumbs up. "Yes! I am one with mother nature!"

James: "I don't get that chick, bitch is crazy."

Ziggy: "I feel so enlightened."

"I can't get my fedora wet!" Carl exclaimed. "My chick magnet will be ruined!"

"No!" D'arcy screamed. "You are NOT losing this challenge for us because of a fucking hat!"

With one motion, D'arcy grabbed the greasy fedora off Carl's head and threw it straight off the cliff.

"NO!" Carl cried as he fell to his knees. "You monster!"

"It was a hat," Evan said flatly.

"It is NOT just a hat," Carl replied defensively. "It's a life style, you couldn't pull it off if you tried because it's class, and class is for men and SWAG is for boys!"

"What?" Evan said.

"Oh, never mind," Carl sighed. "You simply wouldn't understa—"

Suddenly, D'arcy shoved Carl off the cliff sharply. The neckbeard fell straight into the safe zone.

"And The Tigers have two!" Chris said.

James, Misty, and Evan stared blankly at D'arcy.

"What?" D'arcy said.

D'arcy: "The hell was I supposed to do? Let him cost us the win? Hell no!"

"Stop fucking staring at me with your disgusting male gaze!" D'arcy screamed. "Ugh!"

D'arcy then jumped off the cliff into the water below, scoring the Tigers their third point.

"Well guys," James said. "I guess it's our turn. Here I go!"

James then without hesitation jumped off the cliff into the safe zone. Misty and Evan cringed at hearing James hit the water with a crack.

"Ouch dude, that's gotta hurt broski… but I'm no dork…" Evan said, priming himself to jump off the cliff. "Cowabunga!"

Evan then hit the water belly first in the safe zone. He crumpled up as he sank into the water.

Misty sighed loudly.

Misty: "Never done well with heights… but I'm not gonna let the team down."

Misty then took a deep breath and began to run off the cliff. She screamed as she landed in the safe zone.

"Wow!" Chris exclaimed. "The Terrible Tigers actually earned a perfect score! That's gonna be a tough act to follow! Alright Leaping Lizards, you're up!"

"Alright team!" Jared exclaimed. "So listen up, we gotta all get down in that safe zone! Alright? Even you wimps over there!"

Jared pointed to the three girls. "Um, what if I don't want to jump." Ivory said.

"Well then I guess you're gonna be the reason we lose!" Jared said. "Now, let's do this in an orderly fashion. Kyle, you're up!"

"Oh," Kyle said.

Anthony laughed. "So long as my toned abs don't get hurt or my precious face is not scratched, I am fine doing anything!" Kyle rolled his eyes and jumped off the cliff, scoring them a point.

Anthony: "He's just jealous."

"Sue-Li, you're next!" Jared said. "Unless you're… chicken. Ha!"

"Excuse me?" Sue-Li said. "Who do you think you're talking to?"

"You," Jared retorted. "Get to steppin'."

Clementine rolled her eyes. "Oh my god, just do is Sue-Li. Yell at him later. It's not worth it."

"Ugh, fine," Sue-Li sighed as she hesitantly jumped off the cliff. However, she did not score a point due to not landing in the zone.

"Stupid little…" Jared muttered. "Can't do anything right!"

"So what are you gonna do about it," Ivory said. "I don't see you jumping."

"W-Well!" Jared stammered. "I was just getting to that! It's now my turn!"

Jared walked a few feet back, turned around and began running towards the end of the cliff before tripping and stumbling off. He began hitting rock after rock and eventually hit the water in the in zone, scoring a point.

Jared: "I still scored a point!"

"I don't want to do this anymore!" Anthony squealed. "My precious goods could be compromised!"

"Fine, I'll do it…" Ivory said simply stepping off the cliff. She fell into the safe zone immediately.

"No!" Anthony exclaimed.

Anthony: "I cannot damage these goods! It's my livelihood! How else can I get chicks?"

"You are such a baby…" Clementine remarked. "Fine, suit yourself."

Clementine then ungracefully dived off the cliff and landed outside of the safe zone, not scoring a point.

"Alright! Kyle, Jared, and Ivory all scored a point! Sue-Li and Clementine didn't make it but hey, better than a chicken!" Chris said. "Anthony however, failed to even try so now the Lizards are in last with two whole points! Will the Bears be able to pull it out?"

"Guys, come on, we only need three people to make it in the safe zone to win," Milo said.

"Yes, we KNOW that already," Marshall replied.

"We can do this! Go team goooooooooo!" Lyn screamed.

Wednesday rolled her eyes. "This is unnecessary. I am going to go sit down."

"What?!" Lyn replied. "The team NEEDS you Wednesday!"

"No you don't," Wednesday said. "You need three people. Not including me. Bye."

Wednesday: "I don't take part in challenges."

"Well if that ugly fat gets to sit out then I get to too!" Vanessa replied. "I don't want to get this Versace dress wet!"

"You're kidding right?" Milo replied.

"Uhm, no," Vanessa said, walking away. "I could not be more serious right now, this challenge is for like, poor people!"

"Great," Milo said. "Now we need all four of us to jump to even tie."

Milo: "God this is a complete disaster… how could this get any worse?"

"Okay team!" Lyn said. "I think someone needs to take initiative so I am going to! Let's go TEAM!"

Lyn then jumped off the cliff and into the safe zone, finally scoring the Bears a point.

"Alright, Dawson," Milo said. "You go ahead and go next."

Dawson's eyes darted around. "What? Why me?!"

"Because you're the most likely to chicken out," Milo said.

"Okay fair," Dawson replied. He then took a couple steps back. "Here goes… nothing…"

Dawson then screamed loudly and covered his eyes as he ran straight off the edge and into the safe zone.

"Wow! The bears are finally at a dazzling 0 points! Heheh!" Chris laughed.

Milo: "It's down to the line, we just need to get these two points. If we can do that, we might have a chance."

"Marshall," Milo said. "Now it's just up to us."

"Well Captain Obvious you might just be onto something!" Marshall mocked.

Milo sighed. "Listen, we just need to get this over with, okay? Let's tie it up and go to some weird tie breaker thing."

"Alright. On the count of three, we jump?" Milo said.

Marshall laughed. "I can agree to that."

"Okay… one, two…" Milo and Marshall both got ready to jump.

They began running, "Three!" Milo said as he jumped. He turned to see Marshall still standing on the cliff.

"Actually, I changed my mind!" Marshall laughed as Milo fell into the safe zone. "Chris, this challenge is over."

"Wow, brutal!" Chris said. "But I guess that's an admission of defeat! The Bears lose with a score of one! Pathetic. You'll be seeing me at the marshmallow ceremony tonight kiddies!"

"Dammit!" Lyn said as the other two teams cheered.

Later, at the flagpole, the Boring Bears were having a team meeting.

"Marshall, what the heck was that?" Lyn exclaimed. "No team unity whatsoever!"

Marshall laughed. "What? I didn't want to jump. I'm scared of heights… you wouldn't want me to face my fears would you?"

"Well… no, but…" Lyn stammered.

"The point is, you cost us the challenge dude," Milo said. "Now we have to boot someone, and we gotta figure that out."

"Again, thanks Captain Obvious…" Marshall said. "Well, if you're done lecturing me, I'm going to go do some strategy. If anyone wishes to join me, they are welcome to."

Marshall walked away and left the other five to themselves.

Marshall: "It was a calculated move… to pull off the most epic first boot in Total Drama history! I have it all laid out, and now the pieces just have to fall where I have planted them to… and I will have put my name on the All-Star list one day into this competition!"

A little while later, Wednesday was sitting alone in the girls cabin. Lyn suddenly opened the door and plopped down next to her.

"Hey there Wednesday!" Lyn exclaimed. "So who are you thinking of voting?!"

"It's none of your business," Wednesday said.

"Are you suuuure?" Lyn said. "I think you should vote for Marshall tonight! I think he's voting for you tonight?"

"So? I don't care," Wednesday said flatly.

Lyn immediately squinted her eyes and walked away. "Fine! See if I care if you go home! You aren't helping us at all!"

Lyn: "Clearly she just doesn't care... this team WOULD be stronger without her… but no! I musn't! I have to stick to the plan!"

Lyn then walked up to Milo and smiled broadly. "I think that went… horribly!"

"What happened?" Milo said.

"I asked her who she was voting and SUBTLY pushed for Marshall!" Lyn exclaimed. "Then she said she didn't care so I told her to die!"

"O-Oh my god please tell me you didn't," Milo said, cupping his face in his hands.

Lyn nodded excitedly. Milo groaned loudly

"Well, I guess we're on our own here since Marshall seems to have already courted Dawson and Vanessa..." Milo said. "Unless…"

Milo: "Dawson is our only hope at this point. Unfortunately, Marshall kind of got to him already, but I am not giving up. I will not surrender."

Dawson was walking around the woods before suddenly being ambushed by Milo and Lyn. "Hey," Milo said.

"Ah!" Dawson exclaimed. "What's up?"

Milo shrugged. "Not much, really. We're just trying to put together an alliance of sorts. You, me, and Lyn. What do you say?"

"Well… this is all so sudden…" Dawson said.

"Yeah but it's works as a coalition of good vs evil right?!" Lyn exclaimed.

"Well… yeah…" Dawson stuttered.

"So, for this vote, I think we're voting Marshall tonight," Milo said. Dawson's eyes widened. "He's a big drain on moral and he literally cost us a chance at the win, sound good?"

"Y-Yes…" Dawson said, quietly.

Dawson: "I-I don't know what to do… I have two alliances now… I don't like this at all… and now we have an alliance meeting with them in like ten minutes."

Ten minutes later, in the woods, Vanessa and Marshall were waiting for Dawson, who came ambling up to them. "You're late," Marshall said.

"I'm sorry…" Dawson said. "I had some business to take care of…"

"Ew!" Vanessa exclaimed. "He had to go poop!"

Dawson shook his head. "W-Wait—"

"Whatever, it doesn't matter," Marshall said. "The point of this meeting is to state that I have the most diabolical plan ever! It is foolproof!"

"Is it?" Vanessa said.

"Yes…" Marshall replied. "I literally just explained it to you and you LITERALLY said it was the most diabolical plan ever!"

"I don't remember that," Vanessa said.

Marshall stared blankly. "Whatever, the point is. We need to get one of the goody-goodies out! They're causing a major problem for us, they might be able to overtake us if we don't take them down now!"

"Wow, really?" Dawson said. "That wouldn't be good…"

"No, no it wouldn't be," Marshall said. "The point is, we need to get rid of their strongest force of good, the one who can overthrow us with ease!"

"W-Who would that be?" Dawson said?

Marshall mouthed the target's name, and Dawson's eyes widened again.

"Got it?" Marshall said. "Good, see you at the vote."

Marshall and Vanessa walked away, leaving Dawson alone in the woods.

Marshall: "If this goes off without a hitch, may as well write me the check now… I got this in the bag."

Dawson: "This decision… is huge… and I don't know what to do! Ugh! I hate this!"

Vanessa: "Wait, he DIDN'T need to poop, did he!"

That night, at the marshmallow ceremony, Chris stood before the six losers. "Boring Bears, welcome to the elimination ceremony. When I call your name, you will come up and claim a marshmallow. The person who does NOT receive a marshmallow must immediately take their belongings and walk down the dock of shame, and board the boat of losers! That means you're out of the contest, and you can't come back. Ever!"

The six looked around at each other.

"Alright, first marshmallow goes to…" Chris said. "Dawson!"

Dawson got up and claimed a marshmallow.

"Next is… Wednesday! And then… Vanessa!"

The two got up and claimed their marshmallows. Lyn, Marshall, and Milo looked at each other.

"The fourth marshmallow goes to… Lyn!"

Lyn cheered and got up to get her marshmallow. Milo's eyes widened and Marshall began smirking.

"Alright, this IS the final marshmallow…" Chris said. "The final marshmallow of the night goes to…

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

..

…

…

"Marshall," Chris said.

Marshall began laughing loudly as he got up to get his marshmallow as Milo sat, shocked. Lyn looked around, shocked.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Lyn exclaimed as she fell to her knees.

"What?" Milo said. "How?"

Dawson's eyes darted away.

"Wow," Milo said. "All I really have to say is wow. Good luck, I guess."

Milo then got up and walked down the dock of shame to the boat of losers.

"Alright! First camper down, seventeen left to go!" Chris smiled. "Who will take the trip next? Find out next time, on Total! Drama! Notan Island!"