Chapter Two
Five Years Later
"I don't think...We should be doing this anymore." She said pinching the inside of her palm. She knew it was wrong, she knew that, if any one ever found out, than her life would just be worse than, it already is. Why was she doing it? Ever since Toby, she's been doing stupid things, things a Hastings should not be doing. Including this, she knew it had to end. What started as a drunken one night stand, ended up being something more. As much as she tried to stop, the urge to be with him-she couldn't.
"Spencer," He sighed ducking his head down, and looking at his red wool socks. "I know she's still your friend, and all. But," He gulped taking a seat next to the brunette, whom was hugging her knees on his brown leather couch. "But, we always do this. We become guilty, and leave each other. Yet, we always seem to come back." He went on, he sure was good with words. Although, he certainly should be.
"I know," She mumbled in the silence of the apartment. "I just," She sighed.
"Spencer," He said bringing her into a warm hug. Although, she couldn't hug back. In her head she meant it, although in her heart... it was different. Ever since Toby left, after breaking up with her, she hadn't fell whole. Except when she was with the man whom was holding her in his arms, at the blissful moment. It was sick, and twisted. A dirty secret, that needed to be kept. All the other times, she may have been bluffing, except today. Maybe it was a stupid reason, to finally realize, she needed to move on. But, today after the big news, she knew a break up, of whatever they had, was in order.
Spencer awaited with her other two best friends, for her third best friend to arrive, with big news apparently. She exclaimed that it was far to big of announcement for over the phone. So they waited, impatiently as usual, at the local diner. The petite girl lived in Rosewood, god knows why, while the others lived in Pennsylvania, not so far away. Although, it was better than actually living there.
They should have been use to the petite best friend's lateness by now, she was almost late to everything. Always blaming her boyfriend, or how her cat needed feeding. Or how her outfit had to correspond. Which, it never did anyways. Although, Spencer should have been use to it, she was annoyed. Maybe she was jealous, for whom's heart she had lock down over awhile back.
Although, lost in her thoughts, Spencer snapped out of it after hearing her high voice greet them excite-fully. She hugged back tightly, the pit of guilt in her stomach growing larger and larger, each time she saw her.
The petite-short girl sat down, in between Spencer and The blond. Across from the raven haired beauty. She had this, glow about her, a unusual glow. Which was accompanied by, a magnificent smile. All girls stirred their attention to her, Spencer pushing back the guilt further.
"Well," The blond urged.
The petite girl seemed as if she was to giddy for words, as if she spoke only rainbows, and giggles would come out.
"Aria," The raven hair girl said with a smile, and her brown eyes examining her happy-as-can-be face curiously.
Although, Aria didn't speak. She simply held up her hand wiggling it into their faces. A shiny diamond ring covering half of her little finger.
She didn't say anything for awhile, she wanted to remember his cinnamon, and sandy ocean scent, she wasn't going to be seeing him in awhile. She removed her hug from her knees, and moved her arms to the man's back, embracing his hug. She burred her head into his shoulder, she could feel him swaying her back and forth. Maybe she needed to just get out of Pennsylvania all together, all through high school, all through college, and even now, her life seemed to be one bad thing after another.
She closed her eyes, letting all the thoughts of guilt, and dread fade away into the night, as his lips met hers after the very long embrace. Spencer, knew this would be the last time kissing this man. She had to move on.
Was it possible? Was she even over Toby? She hadn't seem him in nearly five years, and in those five years, she tried, she really did, to forget him. Although, she was still hanging on to him. Now, she was with the man whom, she could never be with. Yet, he was the only one, who could make her forget Toby, forget that what they were doing wasn't just wrong, it was horrible.
Spencer, and the man with the man with waves of dark curls, fell asleep in each other's arms that night. For the the last time?
Five Years Earlier...
Spencer knocked, and knocked on the door, till her knuckles became red. She became frustrated, so frustrated in fact that she began screaming at the door, like a lunatic. Her sobs melted away, and now she was in the stage of anger, angry at whom? She didn't know. Everyone, Toby, Herself, Happy People... After, composing her self in the car, after a long cry, she managed her way up to Aria's Apartment.
Now, she was getting mad at Aria. Although, that anger was all gathering, only because of the break up she just suffered. She just needed someone right now, and she wished that some one could just hold her in their arms, telling her it would be okay. She needed someone, soon her anger faded away, and like earlier she became vulnerable. She let out a frantic sob, and begged for Aria to come to the door, pounding hardly, and dialing away Aria's number quickly for the seventh time in the last twenty minutes.
Although, instead of Aria at the door, was her boyfriend. Ezra fitz. Wearing a robe, and his eyes red, and weary. Spencer, stared at him confused wiping away her tears. "Um, where's Aria? Is she here?" She said, holding back the hot tears.
"No," He said tightly.
"Where is she?"
"She left." He swallowed hardly, swallowing away his own tears, most likely. "She left me."
"What?" Spencer broke out in shock.
"For Jason."
"What," Spencer said shaking her head, as she took on his appearance. Hell, he was a wreck. The usual, vest wearing Ezra Fitz was in sweats, a Robe, and a white T-shirt, with a big stain at the collar, that looked to be chocolate Ice-cream. They were friends, it's not like they hung out with each other without Aria. But they were friends. He was friends with Toby too... good friends. Over the years, they all seemed to become close.
"Ezra, I'm" She said tears starting again. "I'm sorry." She broke out, and as if her body had a language of it's own, and launched a full blown bear hug at the broken man in front of her. He too hugged back, nesting his head on her shoulder, and breathing in her warm scent. He took her inside, and sat her on the couch. Although, Ezra had been a mess, she seemed to be much worse. Aria had left the day before, and he was quite surprised, she hadn't known this information, seeing as how close the two were. He rubbed her back, making circles, still unknowing of why she was crying.
He had never seen her like this. Ever. Not once. She was always so strong, and to see her this way. In a different light, was weird. It didn't feel right, and there had to be something wrong.
"Spencer," He said softly lifting her head up so she was forced to look up at him. "What is it?"
"Toby-He-Broke up with me." She said a tear rolling down her face. Her eyes were struck red, and her mascara was smeared all down her face. Her lips chapped and her eyes puffy.
Ezra was taken back at the new information. He sat motionless, in shock, even. Toby broke up with her? He was just talking about how he was going to propose to 'the love of his life' the other night.
"Spencer, I'm sorry-" He said his voice in complete shock, he couldn't even make it sound sympathetic, only complete utter shock.
She woke up peering at the man next to her with a yawn, which slowly became a frown. Although, with her shifts of body movements, the light sleeper he was, woke up. He flashed a boyish smile at her, and snuggled next to her further. It had to end today. It had too. If not for Aria, for herself. She and him would never work, their secret, whatever they were doing, lasted way too long.
"Ezra," Her voice trailed seriously as she let her eyes roam his apartment freely. "What I said last night, I meant it." Her voice trailed seriously.
"Spencer," he said firmly. She stepped off the couch, as his hand lost contact with hers. She paced around the room, feeling as if some one was holding down her tongue so she couldn't speak. He had to know, didn't he?
"Aria's getting married." Spencer blurted.
"What?" Ezra sat up abruptly, his eyes alerted on the pacing brunette in his living area.
"Yeah," She said with uncertainty.
"To Jason." She said hesitantly, finally making eye contact with him once again. For a moment, his dark blue eyes swept downwards, as if he was upset. But, he quickly composed him self after, starring up at her. Even with bedhead, she looked gorgeous. They just stared at each other for a moment, until Spencer let out a suppressed sigh. Just then, an idea formed in his head.
"Spencer, this means we can be together. Really be together." He shot up from the couch, and to her, grabbing her hands, in his, in the process. She looked at him, as if he were on drugs. She stared at him dazzled for a second before apprehensively speaking.
"Are you being serious?" She snapped sharply.
"Yeah," He nodded eagerly, a toothless smile coming on his face. "Maybe she'll understand."
"She won't." She snapped bitterly, snagging her hands away, and stepping a few steps away from the man, who's smile was fading. "We need to end this. I'm serious this time."
Ezra let out a sigh, his head dropping.
Spencer, was about to continue, but before her words came out, Ezra beat her to it.
"So you know Toby's back." He said tightly, as he became stiffened.
Spencer stared at him wide eyed, her mouth ajar. She most certainly, did not, know Toby was back. Toby was back... Toby was back. The words repeated in her head rapidly, as he came closer, his stiffed shoulders dropping, and his dark-denim eyes becoming soft. He immediately regretted saying anything.
"Toby Cavanaugh?" She stood still in front of the shaggy dark haired worried man. As if there was any other Toby.
"You didn't know?" Ezra asked apprehensively. He thought she was over Toby, like he was over Aria. Sure, it hurt to know she was marrying Jason, the man she left him for, but he wasn't going to weep about it. He had moved on in the past five years, and with Spencer's help. Maybe, he did make the mistake of moving in the wrong direction, in the wrong direction, as in Spencer. But, maybe it was destiny.
She shook her head silently, furrowing her eye brows.
Spencer stood in front of him, ready to get some explanations. Although, she felt awful. She felt a pit forming in her stomach, and would he forgive her for this? He broke up with her, right? Although, sleeping with one of his close friends wasn't exactly...the best thing to do after a break up. Maybe, Toby was telling her, he made a mistake the other night. Maybe, he was begging for her to come back to him. Then what would she do? Would she accept his apology, would he accept hers? Although, that afternoon she realized that wasn't why she was here.
He looked so...helpless. Standing in front of her, was Toby Cavanaugh. But, not the normal happy Toby Cavanaugh. More like, the Toby Cavanaugh from high school, back when Alison was alive, and Jenna was torturing him. Helpless and lost. "Spencer, I'm-I'm" He stuttered. Spencer, really wished she could just tell him off, but part of her just wanted him to take her back. Her stubbornness faded over the years, with Toby. She would probably take him back instantly, tell him about the other night, and hopefully he would understand. "Spencer, I'm moving to Ohio."
"Ohio?" Spencer blurted, gaping. She could feel tears collecting in her eyes again. 'Dammit, Toby.' She thought bitterly as she wiped away her own tears. "You can't!" She yelled with a heavy sigh.
"Spencer, I am."
"Why!" She demanded breathing heavy. It was all to much, first last week, he breaks up with. Now, he's moving... Was it really, really, really, over this time?
"Job offer." He said stepping closer to her. He opened his arms, for a hug. Truly, he wanted one. From her. He couldn't stand the idea, of never feeling her touch ever again. Never seeing her again, never hearing her voice again. Hell, now Toby was tearing up. He cursed Jenna's name, for being right. Why couldn't he be some big shot lawyer?
Spencer reluctantly went into the hug, and was surprised at how tight of a hold he had on her. Spencer was never the one to beg, or give in. But, this time was different. She wasn't just going to let the love of her life, go off and leave her. She didn't understand. "I'll go with you." She volunteered, her weak voice filled with tears.
"Spencer, I told you." His voice trailed sadly. A tear escaped his eyes as he shut them tight, pulling her even closer. So close that, if he pulled her any closer, she wouldn't be breathing. He nuzzled his head into her shoulder, smelling her long brown hair's lavender scent. Telling him self over and over again, that Spencer would be better off with someone else. That her life would never be perfect, if he stayed with her. "Don't make me have to tell you again."
Spencer didn't want to let go. As, furious, depressed, and how jumbled up her feelings were towards Toby, she didn't want to let him go. She didn't want to release him, so he could leave her. Spencer, broke out into a sob, again. She certainly was a mess. She realized how stupid she was being, and pushed him away abruptly. The push was hard, and filled with anger. "I can't believe you!" She spat harshly.
Toby just sighed sadly looking at his ex-girlfriend, as she furiously scold him.
"Toby what happened to you loving me? To us talking about getting married, and having a kid, and growing old together! No, matter what the odds! I thought you felt the same way!" She screamed viciously. "You leaving, to Ohio?" She said questionably. "That's bull shit. Bull shit." She gritted through her teeth her nostrils flared.
"Spencer," he said putting his hand up to touch her arm. Although, she yanked him away instantly.
"No!" She yelled her anger, slowly turning into tears. "You can't go. What about us?" She said her eyes forming with tears, her voice dangerously breaking fast.
"Spencer, we aren't going to ever be together without complications-"
"And I'm willing to fight for you!" She said her eyes shooting out daggers, as she wiped her fresh tears away. "Are you seriously calling it quits? Because you don't feel like fighting for us ? It's hard, but it's worth it!" She said in disgust, and steam practically coming out of her ears.
"Spence," He said his eyes begging her to listen. Although, she wasn't having it.
"No, you know what." She scoffed. "Have a grand time in Ohio." She scowled, before stomping out the door. "Send me a post card!" She yelled harshly before slamming the door behind her.
"When did he get back?" She asked hesitantly. Toby, Aria, was a tender subject for the two. In the last five years of their roller coaster, of a 'relationship' they tended to not mention the two. Except today, both were mentioned. Ezra seemed much more okay with the mention of Aria, than Spencer at the name of 'Toby' vocalized between them. Although, Spencer was still friends with Aria. She didn't think that Ezra still communicated with Toby though...
"I don't know." He said flustered trying to avoid the topic. "Spencer, if it's not Toby then...?" He said leaving the curious sentence hanging between the two. Spencer was to focused on Toby's return to even focus on anything else. It was like a bomb shell.
"Do you have any idea?" She asked apprehensively.
"He's barely moved in. Were having drinks on Sunday." he blurted quickly. "Spencer?"
"Are you going to tell him...about us?" She said lowering her gaze, finally looking at him in his dark-denim eyes.
He shrugged, as his face grew still. "I don't know." He breathed. "He and I were close, then he left, and I hadn't really talked to him in awhile." His voice trailed. "Look, Spence. We both got dumped, and this happened." He said a small toothless smile taking over his sorrowful face as he took her hands in his again. "Maybe, I should tell him. You can tell Aria. Maybe, they'll get it."
"Ezra," She shook her head, her mouth opening like a fish.
"Spencer, I don't want to end this with you. I want to explore it further," He trailed sincerely. "The only complication here, is them."
That was true. But, a big complication at that...
"But," Spencer sputtered. "Just, I think," She sighed. "Don't tell Toby. Okay?" She said, her brown eyes pleading him. Ezra let out a sigh, as someone knocked on his door, practically pounding.
Ezra let go of Spencer's hold and walked off towards the door.
After rubbing her back for quite some time, every now and then murmuring 'It'll be okay,' or 'I'm sorry', She seemed to calm down. Pull her self together at least, "I'm sorry." She sniffled looking up at him in his dark-denim eyes. "How are you?" She asked hesitantly. She was still trying to understand the whole situation. Aria left Ezra for Jason? Her half-brother Jason? Were they having an affair, or? She hadn't heard anything about it from either of them.
"I'm okay," He sighed shakily. "I mean how are you suppose to be when the love of your life walks out the door?" He said flashing up a smile of disbelief, shaking his head slightly. Her lips twitched up a sympathetic smile at the man before her.
"Did she just up and leave?" Spencer asked, her voice meek.
"She packed all her stuff when I was on that business trip, I got back yesterday, Aria and I got in this huge fight about how we're always to busy for each other. Aria admitted that she has been messing around with Jason, and then she told me 'Were over. Were over. Jason will be better for me!' and then she... left." He said shakily.
"I'm sorry," She said after a moment of silence.
"Well," He sniffled cocking his head back at her. Meeting those mocha chocolate eyes. "I guess we're both in the same boat." He said trying to lighten the most-depressing mood. Spencer, actually let out a tiny laugh, and agreed.
"Look, I don't know where exactly Jason lives, but I'm sure you do. You don't have to stay here, listening to my sob stories." His voice trailed. Truly, he didn't want her to go. She understood, and he had felt lonely the whole day, and night. He needed good company. Truly.
"I'll see her tomorrow." She sniffled, with a one shoulder shrug. "She wasn't answering her phone anyways..Besides, I think we can both use the company." She said honestly, putting a comforting hand on his arm. He glanced back at her with a sincere grin of gratitude.
"Well, then may I offer you some alcohol, and ice cream?" He asked standing up.
She nodded her head instantly. "That sounds great." She said.
Ezra opened the door, his whole body locking in shock, of whom was at the door. She stood in front of him, completely dazzled. Like, a lost puppy. She knew this was beyond her territory, and it showed in her big wary hazel eyes.
"Aria?" Ezra breathed, gaping at the sight.
So yes the secret couple is SPEZRA(; dun, dun, Aria's here. Toby's back. Aria's getting married. What's happening. Thanks for the reviews, please review again!