DS- Stephanie Meyer owns everything, I only own a fluffy puppy who sits with me while I read/write crazy fanfiction.

Chapter 2 - Lonely clover leaf

EPOV

It's 2am and I can't sleep. It has been years and I can't stop the nightmares. It's gotten better, let me tell you, but not without the help of almost every single person in my family and my shrink. That stupid mind fucker helped me to reduce the constant pain. But I still feel it; mostly when I'm in bed and my mind goes to her.

It has been years, I still feel her. I live that last day with her every single night, like it was yesterday. I close my eyes and it's like a movie rolling behind my eyes. The two-faced man dragging her away from me, the electric shock, the ever-growing pain running through my leg, the silence...

I walk to the bathroom to freshen up and stare at the mirror. I find it hard to recognize myself, the dark circles under my eyes are permanently attached and the emptiness in my eyes is a constant reminder of the person I've become.

Today is September 26th and the reason for my existence is still missing. The girl I cherished since the first day I laid eyes on her is either being held captive who-the-fuck knows where or dead.

Sometimes I don't know which one is better. If she is alive, I pray she's ok, that they are not treating her like an animal or like a whore. That's when I think it would be better if she was dead, that way she wouldn't be suffering.

The B word was never spoken by my family since the day everyone gave up searching for her. The only ones who still believe there is hope are her father and myself. But it's hard to utter the word, so we never say her name; it's hard enough to see her picture almost every day in her father's office.

My mom decided to erase that chapter of her life and she's on a mission to find the perfect girl for me. it's her way of dealing with it, but I know it's a lost cause.

My sister Alice stuck with me for the longest time, but ever since Jasper knocked her up at eighteen, she has had to take care of the baby, and now she's not too involved. It's like everyone is forgetting her and all we went through. Like I'm the only one sane left in the circle.

Now it's only me. Charlie Swan disappeared, leaving only a note about two weeks ago. Basically, the only thing he said was "Don't go looking for the pot of gold, the pot of gold will come to you," or some shit like that, and then he was gone. I did notice that he took her picture. That man is crazy, I swear. I respect him, after all, because both his son and daughter were taken away and his wife left him, but sometimes he scares the shit out of me.

He had some crazy ass maps outlined for the big day. He'd spent the last six years searching, trying to glue the pieces together. I know that he thought I didn't know, but I do know that he is hiding something from me, he has a plan.

I've been living the for the last eight days in this tiny apartment about thirty miles from Dallas, TX. the whole family moved to Dallas two years after the fateful day and we created this huge campaign to help the rescue party find her. We went national and even international, but after a few years the police closed the case and basically abandoned us.

I got very tired of all the stupid shit people were telling me, that she was dead, that it was better to just move on with my life. My mom was one of them. My dad just stares at me with so much pity, is disgusting, and Emmett only tries to lighten the mood with jokes and laughter. Big jerk, I can't stand him sometimes. So I bought this apartment, with the idea that I would be left alone.

I would only go to the office with Chief Swan and work the rest from home. I don't have a TV, I don't have a kitchen, and I don't have a bed. I sleep on a mattress. I have some toiletries in the bathroom and two boxes, one with cloths and one with important files and newspapers.

I haven't heard anything from my family, probably because I didn't give them the address and I changed my cell phone number. I don't plan on living like this forever, but I need some time to think and be left the fuck alone for once. I sent them a letter with no return address last night, just in case they are too worried, but they know I'm a big boy now and I know how to take care of myself.

Epic lie. If I knew how to take care of myself, I would've been able to take care of the most precious gift of all, and apparently I wasn't very good at it. So yeah, this is me. I'm always bringing back the past and my failures. I hate myself for what I let happen and for the person I've become.

Deep down I still hope, because I talk to her in my mind all day, and sometimes out loud. I've lost some details, but the memory of her beautiful brown eyes is still burned in my head. I want to believe she watches me, or she feels me somehow; that I haven't given up.

Today would be her twenty-second birthday, it's been six years of hell and I still believe in miracles.

=0-0=

I'm just writing this for fun and because I love Edward and Bella. In every world, in every fanfic, they must always find their way back home.

The more you review, the sooner I'll post!

Thanks for reading!