A/N: Thanks for all the reviews guys! Glad to see people are enjoying it so far. Well here's the second chapter. R&R.
DISCLAIMER: i do not own iCarly or any of the characters.
------------------------------------------------
No way. No way. No way. This is what I kept repeating to myself as I ran over towards my black backpack. That couldn't be right. I vaguely remembered my mom once mentioning something about her periods used to irregular alot when she was my age. Yeah! Maybe that was it! But I knew I was only searching for the last bit of hope, to keep my from realizing the horrible truth that was setting in. I refused to believe it, it couldn't be true. I refused to even think it. Grabbing my backpack, I unzipped the front and plunged my hand into the pocket, searching for something in particular. After a few moments I came across what I was looking for. Score! I pulled out the ten dollar bill that I had "borrowed" from Carly yesterday. I had been planning to go buy some more ham with it, but now my plans had changed completely.
Still, Sam. I told myself, while pulling on my black converse. You don't know anything for sure yet, so let's not freak out. Stupid conscience, always trying to look on the bright side. I was not a very optimistic person as you could probably tell, in my opinion if there was a half a glass of water on the kitchen table, the glass would be half empty. Not full, it was just my way of looking at things. Most people found it annoying but I couldn't help it. With a sigh, I headed out of my bedroom and down the stairs. School was now the least of my worries, I skipped all the time. Today I actually had a legitimate reason in my opinion. But to many others it would just be typical Sam Puckett, once again showing no interest in getting a good education.
I was silently grateful that there was no trace of my mother downstairs, she could be somewhat of a pest at times. She tried to be more of a best friend to be then a actual mother at times, and it was just really annoying. I entered the kitchen, feeling to upset to eat at the moment. Not to mention the fact that my stomach still felt really weird. Slipping out the back door in kitchen, I stepped outside. The day was unusually sunny for it too only be the middle of March. Not to mention that it was always usually raining in Seattle. I would have preferred for it too have been raining, since it would have fit my mood better. Oh well, I walked up the driveway and turned onto the deserted sidewalk. My bus was long gone, eh, if anything I could just tell my mom I was sick, which wasn't really a complete lie. I had been puking my guts out lately.
Stuffing the ten dollar bill in my pocket, I sighed. Not allowing myself to think of what I was doing, or about what was going to happen if the conclusion I had drawn about what was wrong with me was true. Instead, I focused on the excuse I would tell Carly for not showing up too school today. Eh, I would probably just tell her that I slept in and then was too lazy to get up and go. She would probably give me another one of those lectures about how school was important, and how skipping was irresponsible. I had heard this lecture thousands of times before, it wouldn't hurt to hear it once more. And well if the dork asked, I had obligation to tell him anything. It wasn't like I owed him anything that's for sure and if he kept going on and on about it, well I would get him, I always did.
Most people would say that I have anger issues, and in all truth I really do. Although I can be a nice person when I want to be, it's just takes a lot to earn my respect. The only person who has actually earned my respect is Carly. Just because back in the first grade she had actually had the guts to stand up to me. Nobody ever did that, well, Gibby and Freddie tried occasionally. But let's face it, those were desperate attempts, just to get me to quit bullying them. Well yeah, it wasn't going to happen. Ever. No one had ever seen me let my guard down other than my best friend, because if they did my reputation would be ruined and we couldn't have that happen now could we? Definitely not.
Around Carly it was different though. Although I hated crying, she had seen me cry before. I had broken down in front of her a couple of times, but I knew it was strange for her. I was Sam, the bullying, the girl who couldn't give a care less about hurting people's feelings or making their lives miserable. I was tough, unbreakable, or so everyone thought. But even I had my moments, I was just smart enough not to let anyone see. I had emotions just like everyone else, I just hid them well and to tell you the truth that took a lot of effort to do. When I had found out my grandfather had died, I did not cry. After I had broken my leg in three places, I did not shed a tear. It would take a lot to break me, that was for sure.
After walking for about fifteen minutes, I finally entered downtown Seattle. I was surprised at how empty it was, most people were either at work or school, I assumed. Usually when I skipped I just hung out at home, or crashed over at Carly's to keep Spencer company. Since he was always entertaining with whatever new sculpture he was working on at that moment. As I walked down the familiar strip of stores, I looked around searching for the familiar one I was searching for. Finally I reached my destination. The Seattle "Store of Wonders" Department Store. Sure, there were many around here, but this one just so happened to be the closest to my house. Plus, the merchandise here always seemed to be cheaper.
As I pushed open the glass doors, I heard the ding of a automatic alerter, informing the workers that a costumer had arrived. I noticed a few adult shoppers cast suspicious looks my way, but I ignored them. Obviously they were all thinking the same thing, why wasn't I in school? I certainly did not look a day over fifteen. Therefore I could not have graduated. Either way I scanned the signs hung above the aisles, not really sure what I was looking for. Or where what I wanted might be. Finally, I headed over the medication aisle. Maybe it would be there, as I scanned the shelves I noticed there was nothing there that I needed to acquire. With a groan, I ran a hand through my golden blonde curls. Wondering where I should check now.
I could ask for help from a cashier or someone, but I had way more dignity than that. Plus it would be very embarrassing. After walking down a few more aisles, absent-mindedly scanning, I found myself in the "Baby Necessities" aisle. My eyes widened and I immediately took interest in scanning the shelves. Finally, I found what I was searching for. Without hesitating, I quickly grabbed it off the shelf, trying my best to look nonchalant about it. Although a few mothers toting around their toddlers, were sending me surprised and suspicious looks. I bit my bottom lip as I left the aisle, heading towards one of the cash registers. Luckily I hadn't ran into anyone I knew, if I had I would have been dead.
I stood in line, waiting impatiently. Wanting to just get out of there. It was so embarrassing! A fifteen year old shouldn't be buying one of these, it was just common knowledge to anyone who had a brain. But yet here I was. As I stepped up to the cashier, he gave me a weird look as he scanned my item. I glared at him and he instantly looked down, not daring to say anything. The price rung up too seven dollars, I quickly payed him and grabbed the bag out of his hands in a rush. Before rushing out of the store, crumbling up the bag and stuffing it into my large pocket in my grey sweatpants. After a few minutes of calming myself down I headed towards home. Eager to get this over with and to hopefully prove my theory wrong.
It seemed like to short of a walk back to my house, and as I opened the door I came face to face with my mom making breakfast and making coffee. I caught a glimpse of the wall on the clock and I noted that it was nine thirty. My mom looked at me curiously before remembering that it was a school day, and I wasn't in school. But to my surprise she didn't seem to care, she just had this look on her face. As if checking me out, to see if I was okay and for a moment panic filled my body. She knew. She knew something was up, the cat was out of the bag. What was I going to do? But to my surprise she merely shook her head and spoke, turning back to the breakfast.
"Are you okay sweetie? I heard you throwing up last night, I went to come check on you a few minutes later." She said, biting her lip. "But you were already asleep. And then I heard you this morning too.. and so I didn't bother you about school... I knew Chinese for dinner last night wasn't a good idea. I told your father that the sushi didn't taste right." She muttered more to herself than to me, and relief flooded throughout my body.
My mother wasn't really that bad, of course she was weird at times. Okay, more often than not but she really did care about me. Although I usually told people otherwise, I just never really gave my mom a chance too care for me. She tried, but I claimed I was independent and that I could do for myself. Still it was unusually refreshing to hear that she was concerned about me, although my heart rate was still thudding rather too quickly. What if my theory was true? I would have to tell her... and my father. Crap. They had enough to deal with and this would only add to it. For a second I kicked myself for being so stupid, before I noticed that my mom was sending me a weird glance. Oh yeah, I hadn't responded to her question.
"Yeah. I'm fine, mom." I lied, and a part of me was relieved that she had come to her own conclusion that the sushi was what made me sick. If only that were true, I thought to myself momentarily. "That sushi was a bad idea." I agreed, with a small nod, avoiding making eye contact with her.
"So..." my mom trailed off, as she used a spatula to flip a pancake off of her pan and onto a paper plate. "Want some pancakes?" She asked me, with a almost hopeful expression. I usually rejected her offers, claiming I had something better to do.
Well I was really hungry, and to justify my thought. my stomach chose that moment to let out a loud growl. Stupid stomach. Why did it always have to growl at the mention of food? "Sure mom." I said, forcing a small smile and I saw her face light up in delight. "I just, uh, have to use the bathroom real quick." I said, and it wasn't really a lie. But before breakfast I really wanted to get this over with. To get all of this pressure off of my shoulders. Maybe after I proved myself wrong I could quit being so paranoid. My mother smiled and nodded and I rushed upstairs and into the bathroom. Taking extra care to shut and lock the white wooden door behind me.
Tearing the department store bag out of my pocket, I removed the rectangle shaped box, tossing the bag in the small trashcan beside the sink. I fumbled for a minute as I tried to open the box, after a few minutes I succeed and removed the long white stick like device. A wrinkled my nose is disgust and flipped the box over. Reading the instructions carefully. Hey, I was fifteen. What did I know about taking pregnancy tests? Hmm, it didn't sound too complicated. Good thing I actually did have to go to the bathroom. After following the first part of the instructions, I laid the test on the sink. Apparently it wouldn't give me the result until five minutes after the first part of the instructions.
I waited impatiently, biting my lower lip. What was I going to do if it came back positive. What about my future? My life? I was only fifteen years old, a freshman in high school. I wasn't supposed to have a baby. This was supposed to happen ten years later if even that. I couldn't raise a baby could I? I was still in school! And what about my parents? They had been having enough problems of their own lately. How would they react when I told them that I might be having a baby? Ugh. I didn't even want to think about it. What about Carly, and Spencer? How would I tell them? How would Carly react? What would happen when everyone at school found out? And most importantly, what about Freddie? What would I tell him? That we were going to be parents. Whoa now girl, I told myself shaking all of the questions out of my mind. I didn't even know if I was pregnant yet and I had already began panicking. Hey, maybe I wasn't and the sushi had actually been bad and all of the years of eating nonstop was finally catching up to me? Yeah! That could be it.
But deep inside I knew I was in denial, but then again. Who wouldn't be? I couldn't help but cling to that last bit of hope, that maybe this was all a misunderstanding. And that I could go back to my normal life pretending everything was okay. After I was positive it had been five minutes, I nervously walked over to the sink. Trembles were racing down my body, I was scared, terrified, even. This didn't happen often. I was never afraid but when it came to this, it scared the hell out of me. My hand shaking I reached for the test, taking a deep breath. I steadied my hand and held up the test.
My mouth dropped open and my eyes widened. There right in front of my eyes was a pink plus sign. All of my hopes came crashing down, and I knew my life was over. I could do nothing but look up into the mirror, staring at my shocked reflection in the dimly lit bathroom. Oh my gosh. I'm fifteen years old, and pregnant. What now?
I stood there for what seemed like a hour, but I did not have the strength to do much else. Finally, still in shock I was able to get my body to move. I wrapped the test up in toilet paper, and stuffed it back in the box. I buried it in the bottom of the trashcan, silently grateful that I was the one that took it out every week. God. Oh my god. Oh my god. What was I going to do? I was fifteen and in no way ready to be a mother. On a sudden impulse I brought a hand down to my stomach, cradling the small bump. I couldn't do this. I had a little person inside of me, or well I soon would. Could I do this? I don't think so.
After exiting the bathroom, I shakingly made my way to my bedroom. Knowing my mom would call me down when breakfast was finished. I slowly laid down on my made up bed, my mother must have done it for me when she had come looking for me earlier. I laid there, my blue eyes staring up the ceiling. My hands were placed on the small bump that now preserved my stomach. I wouldn't cry, I couldn't cry. Not because I didn't want to because that's exactly what I felt like doing. And not because of spite, I didn't care about that anymore. Who cared if someone saw me cry? Certainly not me at the moment. No I would not cry because I feared that once I cried that first tear, I would not be able to stop and that the tears would not stop raining down.