A/N: Sheer beauty. Don't take offence to this, it's all in good fun, yak yak yak~

Once upon a time in this Soviet Union, as all good stories surely begin, there were these two guys. Actually, one of them was a girl. But whatever. Their names were Raivis and Natalia.

Natalia was very much the definition of "sick fuck". She got her kicks conducting grossly painful experiments on Raivis, who now sported a nice variety of scars and other such things. It was all very wrong.

"Raivis~," she singsonged excitedly one morning, barging into his bedroom. There was a large cut across his eyebrow from their last "experiment", which was still bleeding, and an awful lot of bruising around both of his kneecaps. God only knows what sort of strange torture went down to lead to such injuries.

"Oh God," Raivis whined pathetically, awakening instantly. This was the last thing he wanted so early in the morning.

"Do not be like that!" she exclaimed, clapping her hands together. "I have a fun experiment for us today! Do you want to guess what it is?"

"No."

"I will give you a hint~. It involves glass shards and your skin!"

"Oh nooooo…" Raivis whimpered, already feeling the pain she would soon be inflicting on him.

Natalia dragged Raivis from his bed, then, and out into the hallway, where he was forced to watch her break a multitude of mirrors and precious family heirlooms that would soon be embedded in his epidermis.

Ivan was not going to be happy about this. He wouldn't be happy about the heirlooms, that is. Ivan couldn't give two craps about what happened to Raivis.

"Are you ready, Raivis?" Natalia finally asked, after breaking what was apparently a satisfying number of vases and mirrors and picture frames and whatnot. She was armed with a good handful of glass, and a notepad and pencil. After all, what was the use of this research without something to record it with?

"No…"

"Too bad!" She chirped, and with that, began shoving glass into the flesh of his arm.

"Ooouuu Jesus Christ!" Raivis wailed.

"On a scale of one to ten, how much would you say you are hurting?"

"Fifteeeeen!"

Natalia scribbled something on her notepad, before pushing more glass into the Latvian boy's skin. "Fifteen? Oh, I think we can do better than fifteen. We need to get up to twenty-five, at the very least."

Raivis let out a shriek like a little girl as he felt even more sharp objects get pressed into his skin.

"How about now, Raivis?"

"Twenty eight! Oh, God, it hurts so bad…"

Tears were streaming down his face, and Natalia had zero regard for them, instead, taking intense notes on the boy's reaction to the various shards of glass that were being shoved into his body parts violently.

This carried on for quite some time, until Katyusha and Toris both noticed the screams, and rushed up the stairs.

"Natalia!" Katyusha cried out, prying her away from Raivis. "What in the world are you doing?"

"I am experimenting, sister!"

"Well, you aren't any more. Apologize to Raivis."

"No!"

"Apologize!"

"But I am not sorry!"

While they debated, Toris glanced down at the piece of living artwork that the love of his life had created.

"Toris… I am so shiny… like the tin man…"

"So you are," Toris responded, eyeing the glass shards that Natalia had touched. He wanted to have them. They belonged on his shrine to her.

"Toris…" Raivis sobbed. "Please take the shards out of my skin…"

He didn't have to be told twice. "Sure thing, buddy."

After all the glass was removed from his body, Raivis's pain was increased tenfold. Also, he was bleeding a lot, all over Ivan's nice carpet.

"I think I need to go to the hospital…" he choked out through hysterical sobs, but they just gave him a band aid instead, and left him there. Bleeding. All over the carpet.

That was not going to be coming out any time soon.

He passed out there on the floor, and regained consciousness in the exact same spot the next day.

It was raining outside, and Raivis could barely move. He had good intentions of staying in the floor all day and hoping that the pain from the previous day's endeavors would subside by its self. This plan was quickly altered, however, when he saw Natalia coming up the stairs and holding a large metal rod.

"Raivis~!" she cried excitedly. "It is storming outside!"

"Oh boy…" he whispered.

"Do you know what that means?"

"No."

"It means we are going to go play on the roof!"

"Miss Natalia, I can barely move…"

"You are small. I can carry you."

And with that, she threw Raivis over her shoulder, and began the trek up to the roof. It was going pretty good, especially since the small boy was still bleeding a lot, until they were hindered by Eduard.

"Where are you taking Raivis, Miss Natalia?" he asked, observing the sight before him with a rather concerned look on his face.

"We are going to the roof, Sir Stinks A Lot! Would you like to join us?"

"It is raining outside."

"I know."

"Miss Natalia… what are you doing with that metal rod…?"

"Oh, nothing~"

"Miss Katyusha warned you to stop playing Nazi Doctor with Raivis… you remember…"

"Oh, Smelly Man, I remember. We aren't playing Nazi Doctor."

Eduard shot her a look. "Carry on, then."

And so, she continued carrying Raivis up to the roof, where she tied him, upside down, to the metal rod.

"I will come back later and you can tell me how much pain you are in!"

"Miss Natalia—" Raivis tried to protest, but she was already gone.

A few hours later, the storm was still raging strongly, and Natalia still hadn't brought her test subject inside.

"Sister…" Katyusha began uneasily. "Have you seen Raivis?"

"He is on the roof."

"What is he doing on the roof?"

"He is tied to a metal rod."

"He is tied to a metal rod?"

"Da."

Katyusha sighed, rubbing her temples. "Eduaaaard! Get the phone, we need to call an ambulance!"