((Authors note: I don't own any of the characters. They all belong to ABC and Disney))
All She Wanted
Down in the Dumps:
The first thing Regina notice when she wakes up the following morning is the dull throbbing in her temples. No scratch that, she's got a splitting headache. It feels like her bloody head is splitting in half. She forces her eyes open. The light in her bedroom is most definitely too bright. What time is it even? She cranes her neck and glances at the alarm clock. 10:45. God, when's the last time she slept that long. What the hell did she even do last night? Drinking that's for sure, but she has a feeling that's she's missing something significant. Something important that happened last night. Regina furrows her brows and tries to remember, but she has absolutely no recollection whatsoever about last night, so instead of forcing her brain to cooperate she gets out of bed. She's most definitely gonna be sick, and in a matter of seconds she poofs herself into her bathroom and vomits quite violently into the toilet.
When she's finished emptying the contents of her stomach, it strikes her that she seems to be wearing very little. Nothing in fact. She's stark naked. But why is she naked? That's the question. The throbbing in her head (and her general state of amnesia) tells her that she must have been drinking quite a lot, and the few times (before she adopted Henry obviously) she had been drinking as much as she apparently did last night, she had always ended up collapsing on the couch downstairs. But apparently not last night.
She returns to her bedroom and sits down on the bed and tries to piece together what the fuck happened last night. The clothes she knew she wore last night is scattered all over the floor, and her bed sheets are completely crumpled.
Then she spots of piece of material on the floor she knows doesn't belong to her. She picks it up furrows her brows again. It's a tie. A grey tie. She knows a hundredth percent that she doesn't own a grey tie, so she closes her eyes and tries with all her willpower to force her brain to remember last night. At first there is absolutely nothing. She's completely blank. But then it suddenly rushes back to her:
The Rabbit Hole. Drinks with Maleficent. Laughing her head off with Maleficent. Walking home with Maleficent. Maleficent almost falling. Kissing Maleficent.
Regina's eyes snap open. What? Did she really kiss Maleficent last night? She answers the question herself. Yes. Yes she did. Well, technically, Maleficent kissed her, but Regina kissed back, she's sure of it. And then she realizes that's not all she did with Maleficent. More memories floods her brain:
Stumbling inside the mansion with Maleficent. Making their way upstairs and into the bedroom. Clothes on the floor. Maleficents hands roaming over her naked body. Golden hair tickling her. Maleficent's head between her legs.
Regina's jaw drops. No. No. Surely not. No way. There was no way that could have happened. Her brain must be betraying her. But Regina knows that not even her brain (twisted as it is) would be able to imagine that. It had really happened. She had gotten drunk and had sex with Maleficent. Fuck.
,,Oh my god," she mutters to herself. How the hell was she supposed to deal with that? That had definitely been a bad idea.
,,A terrible terrible idea." She said to the silent bedroom. And clearly Maleficent had been just as horrified as Regina. And Regina remembers quite clearly that it was herself who had dragged them upstairs and into the bedroom. Damn. She really owed Maleficent a great big apology.
She lets out a dark chuckle. Who needs The Black Fairy or The Evil Queen to stir the pot? She was more than capable of making a fucking mess out of things on her own.
A hysterical giggle escapes her lips. This is definitely a "do I laugh or cry" situation, and since crying about it wouldn't help one bit, Regina chose to laugh, and when she started she couldn't stop again. God, this whole situation was a disaster. A huge fucking mess, and she laughs and laughs, not even trying to repress the madness in her laugh. What a mess indeed. She wipes the tears of laughter away from her cheeks and tries to regain her regal composure. She most definitely needs a shower.
The hot water takes the edge of her headache (Regina wishes that she could wash the embarrassment away) and while she gets dressed in her usual pencil skirt and a red blouse, she convinces herself that she's making too much of a big deal out of this. It was nothing really. Just a stupid one night stand. It could have been anybody really. Maleficent simply happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. That was it. Plain and simple. Like everything else, she just had to live with it.
She almost looks the same as yesterday morning when she finishes her makeup and combs her hair. Maybe she can trick herself into believing that nothing ever happened last night. With a flick of her wrist, yesterday's clothes disappears from the floor. Another flick and the crumpled sheets and the messy bed is a mere memory. Just a memory. Nothing more.
Regina's head snaps up when she hears her phone buzzing, and she roams through her purse until she retrieves the phone from the bottom of the purse.
She stares at the screen. She slept through 7 text messages and five missed calls. All from Snow and Emma. Darn it. She was supposed to meet them at Granny's for breakfast at 10. She completely forgot about that, and her first impulse is to flake on them, but she knows she can't do that. Then they'll just show up here instead and ask a million questions. It's better to stick to their decision.
So that's exactly what she does. She texts Emma and apologizing for running late and assures that she's on her way. She leaves her bedroom and grabs the tie on her way out. She tucks it away in a drawer for now. Later she will poof it away, away to it's rightful owner, before Maleficent gets a chance to miss it. With any luck left Maleficent will be out cold from drinking with very few memories left of where she spend the night and poofed home from last night.
Regina swallows two aspirin and downs a large glass of water. Maybe she will survive breakfast and the smell of bacon.
She could have poofed, but she chooses to walk the short distance to Granny's for once. The fresh air is doing her clouded head good and she hopes she looks better than she feels when she enters Granny's.
,,There she is!" she hears Snow over chirpy voice say, and she puts on a smile when she makes her way to the table where Snow and Emma sits. They may be friends now but damn; Snows voice can really cut through solid walls.
,,Good morning," she says and instantly picks up on how hoarse and tired her voice sounds. Crap.
,,Morning," Emma says and eyes Regina. ,,Don't you look… Well rested."
,,Charming as ever miss Swan," Regina quips and pulls out her little mirror.
Emma's absolutely right though. She looks straight up tired. Her eyes looks a little big and they are slightly red as well. Wonderful.
,,So, now that someone finally decided to show up, are you ready to order?" Granny asks.
Regina rolls her eyes at the older woman and bites back a snarky comeback as Emma and Snow orders pancakes, scrambled eggs and hot chocolate with cinnamon. Dreadful. Regina's stomach churns at the mere thought of pancakes.
,,And what will you be having sunshine?" says Granny and looks at Regina.
,,Uh.. A bagel with cheese. And coffee. Black and lots of it." Regina says without hesitation. She will need plenty of coffee to survive this.
They talk for a while about Henry, about Emma's new marriage and the general sense of peace in Storybrook.
,,Well seeing as this is Storybrook, the next villain will probably be along very soon," Emma says with a shrug.
,,Let's hope not," Regina replies.
,,Yeah, there is no reason whatsoever to believe that. This is the longest time we've ever had peace." Snow chirps in.
,,That's exactly what's worrying me," Emma mutters.
,,You are just suffering from Savior Syndrom," Regina remarks.
And finally, finally their food and Regina's much needed coffee arrives. She's not even paying attention to the food, she just pours herself a nice (large) cup of coffee and downs it the way she drank whiskey yesterday.
,,What?" she asks when she realizes that Emma and Snow is staring at her.
,,Nothing. You just drink that coffee like your life may be depending on it." Emma points out.
,,Yeah well, maybe it does," Regina murmurs under her breath.
,,You sound hoarse and you look like you've been hit by a bus or something, are you okay?" Snow asks and her voice rises an octave, making Regina cringe at the sound.
,,I am perfectly fine thank you. But do you think you could possibly lower your voice a tad?" she hisses as her head starts to throb again.
,,Why?" Snow asks, completely oblivious.
,,Because my dear Snow, I happen to be quite hungover."
,,Have you been drinking?!" Snow exclaims too loud and the sound echoes in Regina's head. Regina rolls her eyes and shares a look with Emma.
,,No Snow. I have a magical hangover that doesn't require alcohol," she snaps and glares at her "sometimes too dense for her own good" stepdaughter. ,,Yes of course I have been drinking you idiot."
,,Alright alright, no need to be snarky, I was just asking."
,,Well it's hardly my fault you ask stupid questions!"
,,That must have been some night given the delightful mood you're in this morning," Emma deadpans.
,,I'm afraid you inherited your fathers sense of humor miss Swan." Regina says dryly and takes another swig of her coffee. It works like magic in her veins.
,,Well, I hope you had fun last night." Emma says with a mouthful of pancake.
,,I guess so," Regina shrugs and tries to keep her cool when she's flooded with memories of last night. Memories she would prefer not to be presented with in a crowded restaurant. It would be an understatement to say she had fun.
,,Was it worth it?" Snow asks and sips her cocoa.
,,Yes!" Regina blurts out. Hold on, that came out way too fast. Dammit. ,,I mean yeah. It was fine last night. This morning not so much."
,,Ah. Too much?" Emma says almost understandingly
,,I'm never drinking again that's for sure," Regina declares.
,,I wouldn't go that far if I were you," Snow interjects. ,,Wait why were you even drinking last night, you never drink on weekdays?"
,,I don't know… The house was big and empty and I felt kind of miserable and I just needed a drink okay."
,,Why were you feeling miserable?" Snow asks and frowns at the former queen.
,,I don't know, maybe I was just feeling a bit.. tired after everything that's happened with The Evil Queen."
,,That's understandable," Emma says. ,,It's been one hell of a couple of months."
,,Indeed." Regina agrees and takes a sip of her coffee. Her headache is fading very slowly. If only she could say the same about her memories from last night. She should have been more drunk than she was. Had she been more drunk she wouldn't be able to remember a single thing today, and that would have been terrific. Maybe she should just brew herself some forgetting potion.
,,Regina? Regina?" Snow waves her hand in front of Regina's face, and the Mayor forces her brain to stay with Emma and Snow and not think about last night.
,,Huh? Sorry, I was a little distracted." Regina excuses. How she wishes she could stop thinking about last night.
,,I was just saying, you weren't drinking because of Robin were you?" Snow asks and looks concerned at Regina with her big green eyes.
,,Possibly. I don't know really. Maybe I was."
,,You should have called us, we could have talked about it!" Snow huffs at her former stepmother. ,,We're your friends Regina, you don't have to drink your troubles away."
,,I didn't feel like talking. I felt like drinking." Regina snips and curses herself. Why didn't she call Snow or Emma? It would have been a whole lot better than to end up in the bedroom with Maleficent, right?
,,Could have called us anyway," Emma shrugs. ,,I'm more than open to drinking. Even if it is on a weekday."
,,And what do you think your dear husband would have said to that?"
,,"Have fun babe and take it easy on the rum"? he doesn't own me just because we're married you know."
,,Since when do you drink rum?" Regina asks. ,,It tastes disgusting."
,,Hey it's not that bad!" Emma laughs. ,,You get used to it."
,,Well, I guess you have to get used to it when you marry a pirate," Regina mutters and Emma rolls her green eyes at her.
,,It's probably better than what you had last night anyway. Wait, what did you have last night?"
,,Whiskey. Lots of it. And possibly some shots." Regina replies. There had been shots, hadn't there? Yeah. Maleficent ordered shots for both of them, so definitely shots.
,,Whiskey and shots huh? Must have been some night." Emma says with a raised eyebrow.
,,Yeah, you could say that."
,,I still think you should have called us!" Snows says indignantly.
,,Uh no thanks Snow. If my memory doesn't betray me, you were challenged a couple of Vikings the last time you had something to drink." Regina smirks.
,,No I didn't!" Snow splutters.
,,Yes you did, mom. And before that you were half asleep," Emma teases.
,,Your daughter is right, Princess. You can't hold your liquor." And neither can I apparently.
,,Okay okay, maybe I can't hold my liquor," Snow says andnarrows her eyes at Regina. ,,But I stand by what I said about calling us. We could have walked you home."
,,I got home just fine."
,,Yeah, but you could have been hurt! Something could have happened to you."
Something did happen to me. ,,I was fine. I arrived home safe and sound and even managed to get upstairs." Technically not a lie.
,,You should have called us," Snow says stubbornly.
,,I don't think it would benefit either of us if you saw me drunk, but thanks. I'll remember that next time."
,,I thought you were never drinking again." Emma teases.
,,I'm not. Slip of tongue." Definitely never drinking again.
They finish their breakfast and Regina succeeds in eating her bagel (her stomach isn't exactly thanking her, but she has to eat something) the coffee on the other hand works miracles for her energy level. Her headache is still present though so she may have to take a couple of aspirin later.
As they leave Granny's, Henry calls Regina and ask if he can stay one more day with Emma and Killian, it turns out Killian has offered to take him and Violet sailing.
,,Well if it's okay with Emma then it's okay with me," Regina tells her son and Emma nods and gives thumbs up in the background.
,,It's fine with Emma. But be careful okay?"
,,Mom, relax," Henry laughs. ,,It's just sailing."
,,Yes it is. And both you and Violet will wear lifejackets."
,,Mom…"
,,I'm serious Henry, if I find out you haven't being wearing lifejackets.."
,,Okay okay, fine. We will wear lifejackets."
,,Good."
,,Love you mom."
,,I love you too Henry." Regina says and hangs up.
,,Well, if he's staying one more night, it would probably be best if we fetched his chemistry book from your house. He's gonna need it tomorrow," Emma points out.
,,We might as well. It would be foolish if he had to go home and collect before school," Regina agrees.
They walk towards Regina's mansion and Regina experiences another flashback of herself and Maleficent stumbling in the very same direction…
To Be Continued.