Second oneshot in the series(sure took me awhile to update hehe), and seriously, if you're a Justin Beiber fan, you might not want to read this. Seriously, I pull out all the stops on Beiber. Well, enjoy!

Bleach Meets Justin Beiber

"Go in there," said Ichigo, pointing at the record store. "They've got plenty of pop music in that place that you guys can use for whatever the hell you need to do."

"Thanks, Ichigo," replied Rukia, walking past him into the store and dragging Renji along behind her.

"Remember, we meet at the big fountain in the middle of the mall at noon," Ichigo reminded the two.

"Whatever, mom," said both Renji and Rukia as they entered the music store.

"STOP CALLING ME THAT!" roared Ichigo as he marched away to the jewelry store to get a birthday present for Orihime.

The two shinigami snickered at the frustrated carrot top, then began looking around the store curiously. There were dozens of shelves all around the store lined with CD's of pop artists' music and posters on the walls of said pop artists.

"Oi, Renji, who do you think this 12 year old boy is?" said Rukia, pointing to the poster of a very young-looking boy singing to a concert-full of screaming tweens.

"Damn, is he even old enough to be in the music business?" asked Renji as he joined his raven-haired companion.

"Is there anything you two need help with?" asked a worker at the store as he came over to them..

"Who's he?" they asked in unison as they pointed at the poster.

"Oh, that's Justin Beiber," answered the worker. "His albums are right here, under the picture. He's very popular with young girls right now."

"Ring us up one of every album by him and a CD player!" said Rukia immediately.

"What the hell Rukia!" Renji whisper-screamed at the petite girl as the worker rung up the albums. "That kid looks suspicious! What if he's undercover for the government or something?"

Rukia elbowed the redhead in the side and whispered back angrily, "Your watching to much TV, Renji. And besides, our job is to find out what kind of music is popular in this world, and the guy said that this Beaver dude was popular, so shut it, baka!"

Renji grumbled something about 'crazy women' and the worker handed Rukia the bag with her purchase.

As they departed the store, a thought hit Renji. "Where'd ya get the money to buy that stuff anyways?"

"Stole Ichigo's wallet." The small girl held up a black leather wallet and chuckled at her own mischief.

"Wow, you ARE evil," replied Renji.

"Yeah, I know."

"RUKIA!" screamed a pissed-off-beyond-the-realm-of-belief Ichigo. He had selected a cute little teddy bear necklace to give to his auburn-haired girlfriend for her birthday, but had brought it up to the counter only to find that his wallet was gone.

"Sir, we've already rung the necklace up, you're going to have to pay for it," said the clerk at the counter.

"Can I just...leave then come back with the money?" asked Ichigo. He continued," You see, my crazy friend stole my wallet and-"

"That is a possibility, but you're going to have to leave some collateral, sir," said the clerk, cutting off Ichigo's sentence.

Ichigo bent down and removed one of his shoes, then held it up to the man. The clerk raised an eyebrow. "A shoe, sir?"

Ichigo sighed, making a mental note to strangle Rukia later.

Renji walked beside Rukia as she took out one of the albums, titled "My world", and put it in the CD player. She handed Renji one of the ear buds so he could listen.

"What do I do with this?" he asked.

"Stick it in your ear, doofis," she said, putting the other ear bud in her ear. He obliged, and Rukia selected the song titled "Baby". It played and Rukia and Renji listened.

"Um, Renji...is it me or did the clerk give us an album by a female artist by accident?" asked Rukia.

No response.

"Renji," she repeated. No response.

"Helloooooooo...Renji?" Suddenly Renji burst out into squeals and screams, causing Rukia to jump away from him in surprise, the ear bud being pulled from her ear in the process.

"Wh-What is it?" she asked in a panic. He turned to her with hearts in his eyes.

"ISN'T HE AMAZING RUKIA!" the male shinigami squealed, hugging the CD player to his chest and beginning to belt out the lyrics along with the song, which sounded horrible when sung by his deep voice.

Rukia could only stand there, a WTF look plastered on her face. People walking by stared at Renji like he was a pariah, and mothers were covering the eyes of their children.

"RUKIA!" came a familiar voice from nearby. Renji, who was lost in Beiber land, didn't even notice the loud shout. Rukia's head turned in the direction of the voice, and she saw Ichigo, looking more pissed off than the devil himself, and...in his underwear.

"Uh..." was the only word Rukia could utter as the teen walked up to her, fists balled at his sides as he stared down at her menacingly.

"WALLET!" he boomed, holding out his hand for the item. It was obvious that he wasn't going to explain his half-nakedness, and, quite frankly, Rukia really wasn't sure she wanted to know either. Fishing around in her pocket for a moment, the small girl pulled the object out, placing it in his hand obediently, as even she was scared.

Ichigo, angry face and aura unchanging, turned, and marched back from the direction he had come from in the first place. I don't even wanna know how many people were staring at that... thought Rukia, slightly embarrassed. Then, however, she turned her attention back to Renji, wondering how in the hell she was going to go about un-beiberfying him.

"I'm back," said Ichigo to the snooty clerk, as he reentered the jewelry store. "I have my wallet back."

"Very good," replied the man. "You may have your clothing back." Ichigo was suddenly met with a shirt in his face, more specifically his shirt, and pulled it down in annoyance so he could retrieve the money from his recently regained wallet.

After quickly redressing, Ichigo opened up said object...and the money was gone. Gone. Vanished. Not even a single coin remained, and the orange-haired boy's eye twitched as he literally felt like his head was about to explode. The corner of his mouth twitched, and then opened up to boom a scream.

"RUKIAAAAAAAAA!"

END

OMAKE

"Here," said Rukia, placing a set of headphones over Renji's head. "Just keep those on." Renji quirked an eyebrow, but replied nevertheless,

"Okay. But can we make this fast? Justin Beiber is playing a concert in Karakura in 2 weeks and I need to get a ticket before it sells out." Rukia took a deep breath, reminding herself that he would stop being ridiculous in a moment, and leading him to sit in a chair.

"Renji," she stated, "I'm about to play a band for you. They're called Metallica. With your personality, they'll be perfect for you, and I'm sure that once you hear this song you'll go back to normal." Renji's confusion grew more, and it showed on his face.

"What are you talking about, Rukia? Justin Beiber's taught me the meaning of life! All I need to do is be cute, charming, Canadian, and have the voice of an 8-year-old girl to succeed! Oh, and I also need to be discovered by Usher and flip my hair a lot while bobbing my head at the camera. I think I might get my hair cut like Justin's..." When Rukia heard the last part, she knew this was serious. Renji, who's hair was god-like, could never even consider doing what he said. His hair..it was wonderful, especially down, flowing in the wind in all its scarlet glory and hanging in front of his face so sexy-like...Rukia shook her head violently, ridding herself of the daydream as she placed the CD into the computer that was hooked to the headphones. This had to be done, because Renji cutting his hair would be the absolute end of the world.

"Here goes," she muttered as Renji continued to rant, and she pressed the button to start the song. When it started, Renji paused, and then his eyes widened, face dawning with realization.

Yes! Thought Rukia triumphantly. It had worked!

"I CAN'T BE TAMED! I CAN'T BE TAMED! I CAN'T BE BLAMED! I CAN'T, CAN'T, I CAN'T, CAN'T BE TAMED!" Rukia was snapped from her internal victory dance as she realized that there was no way in hell that could be a Metallica song. Looking at the screen, she realized in horror that it said "Can't be tamed" by Miley Cyrus. Oh shit.

Dropping to her knees in the ground, Rukia threw her fists in the air, and, in Darth Vader fashion, screamed,

"NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

END

Yay, finished! This was so much fun, and I couldn't help but laugh while writing it. And yes, I realize that I will probably be intensely flamed for this. But it was worth it. Let's see, what all did I make references to? I don't own Bleach, Justin Beiber's song "Baby," or the record "My world," I don't own anything related to Metallica, or anything related to Miley Cyrus, including the song "Can't Be Tamed." I also don't own Star Wars. Alright, I think I covered it all. Comment/constructive criticism are welcome and appreciated, I love them all!