Chapter two.
A/N: I'm so sorry about the wait!! I've had writers block plus I've been busy with to Penny for giving me a little inspiration.:D. Hope this was worth the wait.
8 weeks
I've decided that I'm going to hide it from my mum…well for as long as I possibly can anyway. I mean it's not like I'm going to show until 5 months.
I told Tracy the other day. I can talk to her about anything, we've been best friends since we were 5 and we've been through so much together. When I went round to see her, I was so nervous, I just blurted it out when we were in her bedroom. I mean, how do you tell your best friend that. Yes I have told her everything before but how do you expect her to react to something as huge as a baby? At first she was shocked, but she's going to be there for me all the way.
12 weeks
I'm finding it harder everyday to keep this from my mum, I'm sure she suspects something. I'm constantly in the bathroom with morning sickness, I don't know how much longer I can keep this from her. The longer I can keep this a secret, the longer me and Seaweed have to save to find our own place. When I told him, he was really shocked but he's vowed to stick by the two of us. I'm dreading when the time comes to tell our mums. I'm sure Maybelle will be ok with it, she was a young mother herself and she's completely accepted me and Seaweed. His entire family has.
I keep thinking about what's going to happen when it comes out in public. Everyday, relationships become racially integrated more now because it's becoming more acceptable. But what will people think about black and white starting a family? I've only just found the confidence in me to be who I want to be, I don't want that to be knocked because of people having their judgements. I don't want my child growing up being ashamed of their colour.
16 weeks
I'm so scared now. My doctor says that my baby is bigger than what it should be but seems healthy. I'm going back to see her next week for a check-up to see if it's still growing at the rate it is. I'm glad that my baby is growing well but I'm scared as I go further along. I can't keep wearing layers to hide it from my mother, for Christ's sake it's the middle of summer, as everyone keeps pointing out. It doesn't help that I'm extra hormonal either, otherwise she's going to find out sooner. I will tell her.
17 weeks
Ok I know it's unlike me to write in my journal in between my months of pregnancy but I just thought I'd add now that I went to the doctor's yesterday and well, the reason why my bump is larger than what it should be is because I'm expecting twins. Oh my god!! How are we going to cope?! And more importantly how the bloody hell am I going to tell mum?! As if it isn't hard enough to tell her about one baby let alone two! Seaweed and Tracy have suggested sitting down and just telling her but I'm so nervous and worried, just terrified of telling her face to face, I might just leave this journal about for her to read. 'Don't be mad Pen!! That will just make it worse', 'She might be ok with it eventually, just upset that you didn't tell her in the first place'. I'm thinking ' Are you out of your mind?! Have you never met her?' I mean Seaweed saw what she was like when he came to rescue me from the house, She's not mentally stable and this will just make her loads worse.
Am I making this worse by not telling her?