Ivan looked out of the window from his desk at the snow falling quietly on the ground. The sun just set and the moon shown brightly against the shining snowflakes. He was mezmerized by the beauty of something so ibsignificant, yet this moment was one of his favorites. The snow made him forget, and remember of better times.
"Ivan, dinner will be waiting whenever you're hungry."
"Thank you , Marry." Ivan spoke in his soft, broken voice.

The snow was falling all around their big house. The trees were collecting snow on their branches and the ground was soon to be covered in white. Ivan and his mother chased each other and their sweet laughter filled the ears of Ivan's dad as he got out of his car, home from work.
"Papa papa!" Ivan ran up to him and hugged his legs as his wife came and kissed him on the cheek. He took her by the hands and walked with Ivan on his feet, holding on to him. They made their way inside their warm house and began to eat the dinner his wife prepared. Ivan finished first and went to one of the windows to see the snow fall. He watched as each flake settles onto the ground forming a blanket of the white ice.
The next day Ivan sat by the window again watching the snow and waiting for his dad to return home. Today was Ivan's birthday so his mother had prepared a cake and they waited together in each others company for his father to come home. As the sun began to set, Ivan had already had his dinner and was by now waiting at the table with his fork and knife in his hand ready to eat his cake. His mother was sitting in the couch near the fireplace, worrying about her husband. He was supposed to be home by now and he especially wouldn't be late if it was his sons birthday.
She then got up and went to her son.
"Moy syn, you can eat your cake now if you like. Papa will be home soon and then you can go to bed." His mother tried her best to stay happy and appear unworried for her son.
"No mama, I want papa so we can all eat together."
She sighed deeply and decided they had no choice. She told her son they would take the other car and go into town to papas work and surprise him there. She had no thought of why he would be late, so something must be wrong.
As they drove through town, they came to s dead stop in traffic as she saw a policman walk to every car and talk to the driver. He came to their car and spoke,
"Prashu proshenya, devushka, there has been a bad accident and traffic is pretty caught up. I suggest you turn around, this may take a while to clear up."
Her heart sank to her stomach and she glanced back at her son and smiled sadly. They drove home that night and she put her son to sleep without any troubles. The next day, papa never came home. That was the last time Ivans birthday was celebrated as a family.

Ivan got home from school and went straight to his room. Once he got there, he took his headphones off and instead turned his radio on, turning the music up loudly. Today had been a bad day. 10 years ago he last celebrated his birthday. Now, he was just on the brink of forgetting his past. Today as he walked home from school, snow started to lightly fall across the ground. The snow looked so innocent. It brought him back to his memories of the innocent child he was. The snow had brought him happiness, he always thought it was a happy thing. But now, the snow was only a burden to his everyday life.
He laid down on his bed and took off his coat and scarf. 'Damn Russia for being so cold..' He thought. He listened to the music playing on his radio and closed his eyes. He opened them again when he heard a knock at his door.
"Ivan?"
"Da, mama?"
His mother came in his room and looked at her son. Feeling her eyes on him, he quickly reached for his jacket and put it on.
"Would you like to do anything today, moy syn?"
"Nyet mama.. I think I will sleep. Or do homework.. I'll do something. Don't worry for me."
She looked at her son and touched his shoulder softly, giving a sad smile.
"Ya lyublyu tebya."
Ivan smiled at her, reassuring her that he was ok. She left a few moments later and Ivan was back to his thoughts and music. A new song played on the radio and it caught Ivan's attention. He used to like this song.. He turned up the volume and laid back down to listen. By the end of the song, tears streamed down Ivan's cheeks as he cried silently. Shaking slightly, he sat up and took off his jacket. He stood up and then made his way to the bathroom. He met his reflection in the mirror. Sad, violet eyes looked back at him and he knew that he could not carry on like that. He opened the drawer and pulled out a razor. He slid the long sleeves of his shirt up, revealing many, many scars and cuts, with a few burns. Ivan slid to the floor and took the razor in his hand and brought it down hard on his wrist. The familiar pain entered his body as he began to cut several long and deep marks into his body. Blood began dripping from his arm and onto his clothes. He would of cleaned himself, but this time it didn't matter. He brought the blade down a final time and with that he set the razor down. He heard footsteps come near the door then heard his mothers voice.
"Ivan, dinner is ready. Will you come?"
Ivan whispered a quiet nyet then tried to speak louder,
"Da, mama, I am coming." His voice faultered badly and his mother knew something was wrong.
Ivan began to cry more as he realized what he had done. 'It always ends up like this...'

One month after Ivans 19th birthday.

Ivan woke up in a room. The room had a small white desk facing a window. He noted that the window had bars around the outside. The rest of the room was white and the only other furniture was the bed and a small cushioned chair. He sat up in bed and noticed he had a bandaged wrapped around his entire wrist. 'The one I cut…' he also noticed that he was wearing light purple pajamas, ones he did not own nor had ever seen before. Just then a lady came into his room. She wore a light blue dress and a blue hat and carried a clip board like it was her own child. She saw Ivan was awake and smiled.

"Goodmornig Ivan! My name is Marry. Would you like breakfast now?"

"Nyet I am not very hungry… Where am I?"

'Marry' lost her composure for a moment and let a wave of symathoy wash over her.

"Ivan… Yesterday when you hurt yourself, your mother did not know what to do any more. She took you to the hospital, and they suggested taking you here to get better. This is a place for people to recover from tramatic events, depression, any reason why they may be mentally ill. This is St. Lucius's Mental Facility of Moscow."