Second chapter already? Cheers! So, I went to Paris this week and... I think I'm in love with a city.

This chapter was fun to write, but there isnt a lot of epic going on. But, after the fourth chapter, things are gonna be speeded up.

Review of the week: "This can only end well." -Joy2theworlddannyphantom

Comment of the week:

"I like Febreeze."

"I'm a Glade-ist"

"Gesundheit."

"I'm pretty sure I didnt sneeze..."

"Sure sounded like it." - A conversation between a friend and I.

September 2, 2011

Dear Diary,

This week, Im Yong Soo (South Korea, if you dont know Diary), Alfred(my stupid idiotic douchebag whorish sorry excuse for a twin brother), and Gilbert (love of my life and beyond) invaded my house.

The damn hosers... Well, before I tell you what they (the damn douchbags...) did, I might as well get a few things out of the way first.

Well Diary, it's September now, and according to my Calender of Doom©, I have to plot ways to kill Alfred, think about confessing my love, and consult some of Japan's manga for help.

Seeing as I need to buy a new camera for the high-def death of Alfred and I havent done so yet, and confessing my love right NOW is out of the question, I decided to 'consult' Japan's manga.

So, I decided to do as the Google Gods do.

I googled.

So, I came up with something called 'Mangareader', and I clicked on it. A site appeared with a lot of colors and flashing words and ads. I clicked on the first one, something called 'Kaichou Wa Maid-Sama!'.

It was... weird. More then weird, the plotline was so ludicrous it made me laugh. But somehow, I didnt think that it would help with my...predicament, so I went back to the main page.

There was a drop down menu, with different genres and categories on them, so I scrolled over it. There were a lot of words I didnt understand, as a newcomer to manga, like 'Yuri' and 'Shoujo' and 'Shounen'. I randomly clicked the one labelled 'Hentai'.

There was another menu of titles, and I clicked on the first one, which had an unintelligible name.

At the moment the first page loaded, four things happened.

My screen froze as I tried to close it.

I had a sudden need for brain bleach.

Kumajujube peed on the floor.

Yong Soo broke into my room.

Diary...

I think I know what 'Hentai' is now.

This is a rather awkward silence diary.

So, lets go to the part where Yong Soo broke into my room.

Like the pervert he is, he caught sight of my screen first.

What I didnt expect was the prudish reaction.

"HOLY SHIT MATTHEW THOSE PEOPLE ARE NAKED DA-ZE~!"

"I KNOW!" I said, freaking out.

He reached over and flipped the lid of my laptop shut while shielding his eyes.

He threw me a withering gaze as I sat there, eyes wide.

"I dont think I'll ever look at Japan the same way again." I whispered, shocked and mentally scarred.

He looked at me pityingly.

"Matthew... I'm willing to forget this. Just..."

"Just what?"

"From now on, read Manhwa. Manga gives me heebie-jeebies."

And then he left, not even telling me what he came there for.

Now, that brings me to when Alfred invaded. It was on Wednesday, and on Wednesdays, Alfred gets bored.

I dont know WHY he's so specific about when he's bored, but at least it gives me time to prepare.

But this Wednesday was SO DAMN ANNOYING that I'm pretty sure he'll end up dead as soon as I get a new camera with more megapixels.

Why Diary?

Because he insisted on speaking to me using only Lady Gaga lyrics, thats why.

Now, I know I set Justin Bieber on him, but I swear, he started it with Miley Cyrus! No matter what he says about Celine Dion!

So, he broke into my freezer and started eating my Ice Cream.

The following conversation went as such:

"Hey Alfred... why are you robbing me of all my Ice Cream? Also, why didn't you answer my phone call this morning?"

"I dont really find it very cute or sexy~ When you call or incessantly t-t-text me~!"

"ALFRED!"

"Dont call my name, dont call my name~!"

"Just dont forget to go to the meeting tomorrow."

"I dont care about tomoro-o-o-o~!"

And then he left, taking my ice cream with him.

Douchebag...

Now, onto the awesome one.

So, just yesterday, Gilbert was in my house.

Well, I should say last night, but I know you would take that the wrong way Diary (you perv).

I was sleeping peacefully, Kumafuji using my face as a pillow, when suddenly I heard a clattering noise from downstairs.

Kumajanna crawled off of my face and I grabbed my hockey stick from my closet as I snuck downstairs, all stealthy-like.

I heard louder rustling noises from the kitchen, some one cursing, and smelt the vague smell of something burningo I walked into the kitchen, hockey stick in hand, to find it covered in flour and egg shells. Gilbert was at the sink, trying to scrape a smoldering pancake off of my pan with a half melted plastic spatula.

This is what we call a face-palm moment diary.

He looked at me, frozen in the doorway, in all my pajama and hockey-stick glory, and smiled.

Merde, I think my heart just melted a bit.

He dumped the pan into the sink and threw the spatula onto the counter. Gilbert threw his arm over my shoulders and whined, "Mattieeeee~ Make me some pancakes!"

I looked at him, but avoided looking him in the eye. "Knowing you, you used all the flour".

He went down on bended knee, fluttering his eyelashes. "PLEASE! I'll make it worth your while!"

Hot damn...

"I'll wash your bear-dog! I'll forgive the pancakes for originating in Russia! I'll stop trying to find your bacon!"

Screw that, I'll make you mine someday...

"PLEASE!"

I sighed, running my hand through my hair, then set it down on the counter, straight into some gooey, raw, egg remains.

"Shit!" I turned towards Gilbert. "Dude, I'd make you some pancakes, but you used up the last of my flour."

He winked at me. "Well, then I'll just have to stay over until you get some, no?"

I think I DIED Diary.

He's here right now.

Sleeping on my couch downstairs.

I think I'm squealing on the inside.

How am I ever going to confess my love to this guy?

I mean, it's not like I can just go up to him and say 'I love you'!

It has to be something big.

But... I think the reason I'm holding back is...

What if he doesn't love me back?

Well, I need to go to sleep Diary.

Sorry for waking you up from your nap.

I'll go hide you behind my huge dictionary now.

-Matthew Williams.