DISCLAIMER: I do not own any characters depicted in any of the Mass Effect game. I just love them

AN: Here. We. Go...

I wake with a gasp, drenched in sweat. I frantically reach to my face for a helmet that is not there. I evaluate my surroundings and pat down my body. I am in bed. Safe. There is no suit, no helmet, no space….

I groan and roll out of bed.

Another damn nightmare…

I stumble to the lit panel on the fish tank and blindly smack it until the auto-feeder kicks on.

Satisfied, I continue on and wander to the bathroom and lower myself on the toilet to relieve my aching bladder. What time is it even? I search around the room and remember that there isn't actually a clock in the bathroom.

Damnit…. Right.

I stand back up and wash my hands at the sink. I grab a glass of water and chug it with ease. Feeling more level-headed, I head over to my terminal to check my messages.

Michael answered much quicker than I anticipated.

Yeah you wish you could kick my ass "Commander." I can't believe I have to call you that now. UGH. I mean c'mon, I've known you way too long to call you "Commander" Shepard. Anyway. Monitors were quiet today except for when a meteor viciously attacked the top of one of the big storage garages. The base was in a tizzy until we figured out what caused the big noise and the fire! Luckily it was a vacant unit and was able to be demolished pretty easily by the grounds crew.

Illium huh? That's impressive. Be careful though, I've heard its Omega's secretly-evil step sister. Make sure you don't sell yourself away or something. I'd hate to have to buy your kidney off of the black market or something to transplant it back to you.

There are rumors here that the collectors have been attacking human colonies, any truth to that? I'd just hate to be abducted in the middle of the night and forgotten about. Later "Commander"

Michael

PS: Mako was a good name. I like it!

I open the attachment to find a shark fin drawn on the side of Michael's new fish bowl. In the pebbles he added a new sign that reads "BEWARE: Shark Infested Waters" with a skull and crossbones. It forces me to laugh aloud and shake my head.

Oh that boy. What a weirdo.

I rise from my chair and head to the closet, pulling out a uniform. I ditch my Alliance shirt and change into my uniform. My stomach growls unhappily. I get into the elevator and push the button for level 3 on the panel. The doors slide open and reveal an empty mess hall. I head to the counter and grab a meal and take it to a table. Quiet footsteps approach me; I debate on ignoring them, but figure that would be rude. My eyes shift from the breakfast gruel to the blue figure before me.

"Samara, how are you?" I inquire after swallowing a mouthful of food. The gruel sticks to my throat, so I take a swig of water but begin choking. After a few whacks on the back by Samara, I am able to take a few gasps. I beat on my chest with a solid fist. Samara remains behind me rubbing my back until I am able to resume normal breathing. I wipe a tear from the side of my eye and take a few deep breaths.

"Shepard, I may be wrong, but you are not supposed to inhale your beverages." She smirks, sitting down across from the table from me. I try not to acknowledge the playful jab. I'm not really in the mood for playful banter but wouldn't mind having a friend around.

"How did you sleep last night? You look very tired." She continues. I find myself staring at the table trying to block out the nightmare I was forced to watch last night. Being reminded of your death really has a crazy way of shaking you up.

"I...uh… slept fine. I just stayed up too late again." I look up to meet Samara's gaze and find her scrunching up her face. She frowns and reaches out and touches my hand.

"I'm ok, really." I try to reassure the Asari but see that I am failing. My face must be betraying my words again. I try to recover but am clearly not doing well.

"Kira, which one was it?" I know I've been caught. "Collectors, again?" Our gazes meet for a second but I quickly break it. I nod and drop to my gaze to the table again.

"Yeah, I guess you caught me…Again. I…I'm sorry, I just hate that this happens." Green eyes plead with blue-grey ones. Samara has become a mother-figure to me especially since both of my parents are gone. Her daughters are both beyond reach, so she looks out for me. A few missions after she boarded the ship, we bonded over our mutual interests. Her centuries of knowledge allow her to comfort and advise me. There are few people that are able to use my first name, but Samara earned this right. I try to help her as well, but I know that she helps me more than I am able to reciprocate. I must be good company because she keeps inviting me to stay around. Many nights have been spent staring out of the Starboard Observation Deck talking into the dark, starry abyss.

"It is nothing to be ashamed of, dear. Combat is stressful enough on its own. Dying and being brought back, that's a whole different type of stress. You just need to find a better way to work through fears and emotions." She gives my hand a reassuring squeeze. "I would recommend meditation. It could help."

I give a brief, non-committal nod. I know she wants to help, but nothing seems to help. Medication made me foggy and almost got me killed in battle; Shrinks don't actually understand the stress of combat, they just say that they do; Meditation sounds great, but I'd actually have to turn my mind off for it to be useful, I just can't do that; and talking, well, it doesn't do much.

"I wish you'd confide more in your friends. It might help you forget the dreams and allow you to sleep better." Samara adds. "You have a whole team who cares deeply about you and your well-being." This pulls a small smile across my face. I nod. "Have you heard from your brothers lately?"

I smirk, and start describing the messages about Michael's new fish, Mako. We chat for a while longer. The deck bell goes off, waking the crew to start their day. A few minutes later, a few sleepy faces emerge from quarters and begin to line up for food. We excuse ourselves quickly from the table, dump our dishes in the bus bucket, and retreat to the elevator.

"Why don't you come back to my quarters with me and we can chat until we touch down on Illium?" Samara offers with a smile.

"Yeah, that sounds great."

We head to the Starboard Observation Deck. Samara makes a few cups of tea and we sit and chat about everything and anything until Joker announces overhead that they are approaching Illium.

"Come with me?" I plead with Samara.

"Of course. Although, I will have to stop at security to make them aware I am here. Most ports do not appreciate having an Asari Justicar running around. Planets like Illium especially hate it when I arrive." I laugh and she scrunches up her face.

"I can't imagine why. Somebody might get caught doing something illegal for once if you are around. Just promise me you won't kill somebody today, please?"

"I swore to honor your code whilst under you command Kira. It's just a formality, I assure you; I cannot break a promise."

I smile and wring my hands together at my waist, hoping she wouldn't notice. She grabs both of my hands and stands to face me. Our eyes lock for a second, I know what she is thinking, and she is absolutely right. I am not OK. After a second, she gently places a hand behind my head and gently kisses my forehead.

"I won't be far. You need only to call for me." She squeezes my hands and lets them fall to my sides.

She grabs my hand and leads me to the elevator. After what feels like an eternity listening to boring music, we arrive to our floor. Once we leave Normandy's air lock, An Asari Concierge meets us with a smile; she has a LOKI Mech on either side of her armed with SMGs.

The docking bay we arrived at wasn't huge, but it was mostly for passenger vehicles. There were a few piles storage crates around, but not the large ones containing goods. A few dock workers were wandering around with clipboards in hand. I turn my attention back to the concierge.

"Welcome to Nos Astra, Commander Shephard. We've been instructed to wave all docking and administrative fees for your visit. My name is Careena. If you need any information about the area, it would be my pleasure to assist you." The Asari says happily.

"Who instructed you to wave the fees?" I retort. Who the heck would pay for me anyway? There is a huge Cerberus insignia on the side of my ship after all.

"The order came from Liara T'Soni, who paid all landing and docking fees on your behalf." My heart skips a beat at the mention of her name.

"Ms. T'Soni also asked that I direct you to her office at your convenience. She's near the trading floor. Enjoy Nos Astra. It's an exciting city; we see a lot of new cultures and goods due to our proximity to the Terminus System. At the same time, Illium is still an asari world. You should be as safe you would be on the Citadel. For your safety, however, I recommend against signing anything." Careena replies.

"What's so dangerous about signing something?"

"Illium is a free-trade world Commander. Contract term agreements are more relaxed here than on other planets. It's a small price to pay for keeping our competitive edge on goods from the Terminus Systems." Careena responds.

"You said Liara is here. What is she doing?" I question. Careena tries to muffle a small laugh but continues.

"Liara is one of Nos Astra's most respected information brokers. Nos Astra is based upon trade. Information is valuable currency, and Liara has done quite well. As I said, you'll find her near the trading floor. She was looking forward to seeing you." I try to suppress a smile, but I quickly lose this battle. Samara catches the grin and smirks. Blood rushes to my cheeks and If I had to guess, they turned rosy red. My eyes fall to the ground.

"Well, uh… Thank you, Careena. We will get out of your way then." Careena turns to leave. "Oh, Careena! My friend here is a Justicar and needs to register with security. Who does she see for that?"

"I can let them know you are here, ma'am. I just need your name and a photo for security, they can figure out the rest." Careena replies. She turns and snaps a photo of Samara, who hands her a card with her name and contact information on it.

"Just in case you need me for anything, my name is Samara."

Careena nods and she turns away. LOKI mechs trail behind her.

We turn and cut through security, across the small courtyard to a sign that reads:

ADMINISTRATION

A smile peaks out of my lips and my soul lights up. Practically running, my strides widen and my heart begins pounding. The excitement takes over and I run faster up the stairs until….

UMPH!

"Oh! Er- I'm so sorry. I didn't see you, I mean...I didn't mean to-" I offer a hand down to the Asari who is now on the floor. She quickly cuts me off, but accepts the offered hand.

"No no! I'm OK, I promise!" She quickly brushes the debris off her dress and stands up straight.

"My name is Nyxeris, I am Ms. T'Soni's assistant. You are Commander Kira Shepard I assume?" She holds out a petite blue hand to me.

"I, uh- Yes! That's me. How did you?..." I stammer but shake the asari's hand as I trail off. She giggles.

"Miss T'Soni was expecting you. See?" She turns to her desk and grabs a data pad. She cycles through her calendar and shows me the afternoon that Liara blocked off for us.

"I'm sure you can head right in! I think she was just finishing a business call. I do have to excuse myself though, I was just headed out to lunch" Nyxeris turns and heads down the stairs. I turn to Samara, anxiety taking over. Samara responds with an empathetic smile.

"It will be ok, dear. I promise." She steps closer and rubs my back consolably. This makes me feel a little calmer, but my mind still races.

It has been 2 years….2 years.

"I'll be right here when you are finished. I wouldn't want to interrupt your reunion with Liara." She smiles and motions towards the door.

I take a few steps towards the door and stop. The automatic door opens wide and emits a subtle beep. I can practically hear my heartbeat as it pounds in my ear.

It's been 2 years! What if she's moved on? What if she can't forgive me? What if...

AN: Oops...I seem to have left you guys hanging. Don't worry, it won't be for long, I promise!