I know, I know. I hardly got any reviews, but, I enjoy writing this, okay? PS. and I don't own any of X-men, not that I no of anyway.

At the Institute…

'Professor! I am shocked and appalled at your behavior!' Storm shouted at the Professor, who was looking intimidated, his hands held up in defense.

'What? What did I do?' The Professor asked.

'You didn't say goodbye to him this morning, before he went to school' Storm folded her arms and looked cross 'He was very upset'

'Storm, I do have a life outside my Logan' Professor said, in his defense.

'He's craving for your attention' Storm knelt down in front of the Professor 'He tried to talk with you the other day, and you just pretended he wasn't there'

'I'm incredibly busy! I'm sorry if Logan isn't first priority at the moment'

'But killing the students is?'

'Oh!' The Professor roared 'So now it's about my homicidal behavior?'

'It's always been about your homicidal behavior, Charles!' Storm shed a tear and got up again 'It always has'

The Professor sighed apologetically, and wheeled closer to her.

'Listen' He started 'maybe I have spent too much time thinking up disturbing, yet humorous ways to kill people'

Storm looked round, her tear stained cheeks very prominent, her eyes like puppy dog eyes.

'Oh, Storm, don't look at me like that' He looked away 'It's bloody sickening'

'You always make these promises, Charles, and you never keep them!'

'What? I-'

'It's almost like you make them only TOO break them!'

'Ororo, if I promise to spend more time with Logan, then I'll spend more time with him!'

There was a long silence, Storm was contemplating.

'Charles' Storm turned 'If you don't, and I have to see his sunken little face again, I will make you pay!'

'Okay'

'Okay'

Storm headed for the door, and just as she turned the door handle.

CLICK

Storm turned around very slowly, only to face the professor with his gun pointed at her, the trigger pulled back.

'Do you think I would let you talk to me in that way?' The Professor asked wheeling toward her.

'Well….yes?' Storm asked her hands in the air.

'Well…you're wrong'

'Oh' Storm lowered her head 'Damn'

'Say your prayers'

'Charles! Um...' She contemplated again 'Um, Professor, I've just been contemplating-'

'WHAT?' The Professor screamed 'That's it!'

'I'm begging!' She fell to her knees 'Please, I have so much to live for!'

'Man, you sissy' the Professor tutted. 'It's enough to make a man to turn away in disgust'

'So, you're not going to shoot me?'

'Oh, no, you got me all wrong'

BANG

'I love it when they beg'

Meanwhile, in Scott's room…

'Is this really such a good idea?' Jean asked, scratching her head.

'Yeah, man, it seems a bit-'

'Crazy?' Scott asked, pulling the trigger of the power drill.

'No…extreme' Kurt finished.

'We have to prepare ourselves' Scott placed a screwdriver horizontally between his teeth 'Ee av do bepar fo en de bufessa gus aazy gain' (Read it out loud)

'Ja, but, vhy now?'

'Ya'll actually understand what he's blaverin' on about?' Rogue asked.

'Ja, didn't you?' Kurt looked confused.

'No, I didn't understand what in tarnation he was blaverin' on about' Rogue paused for a minute 'ya'll'

Scott finished his drilling, and looked up in frustration, taking the screwdriver out of his mouth.

'Kurt, stop being so smug. Rogue, stop being so southern. Jean, stop being so…tall.' Scott turned away.

'What about me?' Danielle asked.

'What in tarnation! Who, in Louisiana Christ's name, are you?' Rogue asked, startled 'ya'll'

'I'm Danielle' She stared at the blank faces of the surrounding crowd. 'Danielle Moonstar. The Indian that Kitty rescued from drowning'

'…Forge?' Kurt asked.

'No. Danielle Moonstar. I make people's dreams go out of control' She looked sad 'Don't you remember?'

'Judging by your uniform, you're one of the new mutants' Scott got up and looked at her closely 'How come you weren't shot this morning?'

'Well, as soon as he shot Kitty…I ran' She said. 'Didn't anyone else?'

'We're not all as smart as you, little Miss, 'I'm too good for the bayou' prissy pants' Rogue ranted 'Ya'll'

'Rogue shut up' Scott placed a hand on Danielle's shoulder 'We need your help'

Three minutes later…

'I'm not jumping out the window, we're on the third floor' Danielle argued.

'Worst comes to worst, you'll crack your spine' Scott said easily.

'Or my head' Danielle added.

'Well…you could break anything' Jean said.

'How is that an argument for jumping out the window?'

'Listen' Scott walked over to Danielle 'Shut up'

'Scott, just continue doing mindless DIY' Rogue said 'Ya'll'

'Fine!' Scott picked up his screwdriver and started working again, mumbling some insulting remarks on southerners.

'So…' Jean looked around 'Twister?'

'No' Scott said 'Twister sucks'

'You always say that, every time I wanna play twister' Jean pouted, and leant against the wall.

'You wanna know why?' Scott asked, not looking up from his work 'Because it sucks'

'….Monopoly'

'Sucks'

'Danielle, you like twister?' Kurt asked.

'Sure, why not?'

'Because it sucks' Scott added.

'Would you stop being so mindlessly rude?' Jean asked 'You're putting me off this whole security thing'

'Do you want to be safe, or dead?' Scott asked 'Because if so, you'd be safer outside'

'Is that a threat?' Jean asked pointing at him.

'So what if it is?' He asked, putting down his screwdriver.

'I'll hate you'

'I hate you already'

'Screw you!'

'Yeah, you suck!'

'So do you!' They met each other's gaze, and kissed passionately.

'I love you Scott'

'I love you Jean'

'Let's never fight again'

'Right, agreed'

'I love you SO much'

'Dtto'

'Would you shut the hell up?' Danielle asked.

Scott and Jean went back to their respective places, and no more words were said on the subject.

'Finished!' Scott shouted.

'It's about time, you been spendin' Louisiana Christ knows how long on that' Rogue said 'Ya'll'

With a dark, evil look from Scott, Rogue sat down, and shut up.

'Great, what exactly have you done, man?'

'Well, I rigged it so not a single person can get in or out without getting' horribly killed! HA HA HA ha ha ha ha ha…….ha ha ha…ha...ha…...' Scott lowered his head and sighed 'Damn'

The Institute Foyer…

'My. Storm's body was sure heavy' The Professor said, cleaning his hands with a cloth.

'Storm, help us, Kurt got us trapped in my room!' Came a voice from upstairs.

'Well. This looks like a job for…Superman' The Professor looked around 'Well, he's not here, looks like they're screwed' The Professor wheeled out of the room.

The door opened, and Logan stepped through it, with a little kid following close behind him.

'Well, this here, is the foyer, in there is the dining room, and the kitchen is through that way-'

'I think I can learn the layout of this establishment quite well whilst I walk about it. I don't need you're assistance.' Chester said, taking his shoes off and placing them by the door.

'Well, okay' Logan said, walking after Chester who was already clambering up the stairs sensibly.

'Someone is screaming' Chester said looking down the corridor 'I believe it's coming from this room here'

'Yeah, there's always some kind of horrid thing going on round here, my advice to you, learn to not care' Logan said calmly.

'Well, apparently they're stuck inside that room' Chester said.

'Help us little boy!' Scott screamed through the door.

'Who in tarnation…' The voice was hurriedly cut off by loud crashing sound.

'Please. As you can…hear…we're turning against each other'

'My father said not to talk to strangers, and what's more you sound like a jolly awful and dull lot' Chester said, smiling smugly.

'God' Logan said under his breath.

'Listen you little snot nosed brat, just push the door open' Scott screamed.

'Oh, 'little snot nosed brat' I find your insults very immature and rather unoriginal, I neither care for you, or feel for your situation'

'You're not gonna help us then?'

'It seems to me…'

'Get out the way kid' Logan said, pushing Chester out the way, and unsheathing his claws. Logan kicked the door down, and a sad little bucket of water fell to the floor, missing Logan's head.

'You bypassed my tricks and traps' Scott said, as he kneeled 'You should be the new team leader, if you weren't so monumentally stupid. I mean, did you have to break my door?'

'That is what I was thinking. It would have been much more sensible to just turn the handle' Chester said smiling.

'Yeah. What the kid said' Scott nodded.

'You're no Socrates either. Was that bucket of water what you were so scared of?' Chester complained.

'Well…'

'Is Rogue unconscious?' Logan asked, pointing to her body.

'Yes.'

'Why?'

'Because she keeps saying stereotypical southern sayings' Scott smiled 'Try saying that ten times over'

And everyone did.

Ten times later…

'Sceriahypical sa'n saings, sayhical sa'n saings sayhic-'

'This is a pointless and rather demeaning activity' Jean said, pouting in the corner.

'Just because you're crap' Scott smiled back at her 'I mean, Doris here lasted longer than you'

'Danielle'

'Twisters more my game' Jean moaned 'I'm good at Twister'

'Twister sucks'

'Shut up'

'Yes. Do.' Chester said, with an 'I'm-above-all-this-but-I'm-to-polite-to-say-so' look on his face.

'Yo. Charlie'

'Chester'

'Yo. Chester. Up yours' Jean shouted, giving him the finger.

'Jean! He's four years old!' Logan said.

'Four and three eighths' Chester corrected him, his face still looking slightly constipated.

'Up yours' Logan murmured.

Rogue moaned a little, and everyone turned their attention to her. She was soon out again, and everyone went on with their lives.

'Would all please keep your voices down!' The Professor snapped; wheeling passed the door. Scott let out a girlish scream and hid under the bed.

'Yo' Logan said.

'Hello Logan. You're not about to go all 'lovey dovey because I'm taking notice of you', are you?' The Professor asked; his hand ready on his gun.

'No'

'Good' The Professor sighed and took his hand off it.

'You must be The Professor of the Institute' Chester said, holding out his hand for him to shake 'I am Chester Griffin, of the famous Griffin family; it's nice to meet you'

The Professor backed away, a rather scared look on his face.

'My father said he would send me to a private school like this one' Chester said 'Apparently any time soon, maybe to this one'

'I wouldn't bet on it' The Professor said.

'He's here to help me with my homework' Logan said.

'Homework?' asked Scott nervously from under his bed.

'Yeah. Colourin' in' Logan said, happily.

'Sounds fun' Jean added.

'I find it dull, there are only five colours you see-'

'Shut up' The Professor snapped. Chester did his famous 'polite' look again.

'I find you all very disturbing today. I'm going to polish my gun' The Professor started to wheel away, but he reversed quickly 'Who are you?' He asked, looking sternly at Danielle.

'I'm Danielle, I-'

'Get out of my house'

'But…'

'Go on, out!'

Danielle slowly walked out the room, and then out the front door.

'Bloody trespassers, they're all communists' the Professor left mumbling.

'Well' Chester said, clapping his hands together 'Which room's mine?'

'Excuse me?'

At dinner…

'It was very nice for you to cook for once professor' Scott said, eating a spoonful of something red.

'There's a hair in mine' Logan said lifting something small out of his bowl.

'Oh…um…that must be one of mine' The Professor said looking from side to side.

'There's another one' Logan said, lifting something else out.

'It looks more like some sort of fur' Jean said, examining a separate one she found in her bowl.

'Hey professor, how come you're not having any?' Kurt asked.

'Um…allergic'

'To what?'

'Cats…and other things' The Professor said, looking a little bit more nervous.

'Professor, what the hell is this?'

'Um…you know Biggles?' The Professor started, putting his hands together.

'…Yes?'

'It's defiantly not him'

The team pushed away their bowls, except for Kurt, who was convinced.

'So, Logan, how was your first day at school?' Jean asked.

'It could have been better' He said looking across at Chester 'It was okay, I suppose'

'Anything special happen?' Scott asked

'Well, I got sent to the Time Out Corner' Logan admitted; looking down at his red mush.

'Oh no, why?' The Professor asked.

'Swearing. And drinking. And Smoking' Logan said.

'Logan, I expected better from you' Jean said, shaking her head.

'Don't worry, it won't happen again'

There was a silence.

'Chester…how are you?' Scott asked, trying to break the ice.

'Adequate'

'oh'

'Do you all just live like this, everyday the same?' Chester started 'It seems rather dull to me'

'Well' Scott looked around 'We used to have disco nights'

'Discos are for adolescent morons who have nothing better to do then to try and act 'hip'' Chester said 'I'm above discos, my father says'

'I like discos'

'Do you like Twister?' Jean asked hopefully.

'It's worse than discos' Chester nodded, smiling 'It's all too…'common'…for me'

'Are you implying I'm common?' Jean asked; a little offended.

'A person never implies anything themselves, the implications, if you will, are made by the listeners' Chester nodded knowingly again.

'I'm not common'

'Hmpf' Chester said, smiling his smile.

'He makes enemies easily' Logan whispered to Jean, who wasn't fully listening.

'Do have some sort of stick shoved up your-' Scott started, but was cut off.

'I like 'bamfing'' Kurt said 'I find it fun'

'Bamfing?' Chester asked 'I'm not familiar with this?'

'Oh, mein gott, it's great, you should try it sometime' Kurt laughed 'It's teleporting, it's great for the soul'

'It's sounds dreadfully dull' Chester looked round the table 'Is that all you do, go to discos, play twister and…'bamf'?'

'I don't do any of those things' The Professor said.

'I know YOU wouldn't professor, you have the scent of someone that knows things' Chester rushed.

'Listen, you strange shrunken adult. I don't want to talk to you' The Professor said. 'I find you…peculiar'

'Oh. I know no one in this house could actually in some way be…intellectual' Chester contemplated. 'I've just been contemplating, and-'

'What?'

'and-'

'No, before that'

'I've been contem-'

BANG

'No one contemplates but me, got it!' The Professor shouted across the table. The five remaining mutants nodded, except for rogue, who was still unconscious in Scott's room. The was another silence.

'Professor. I think I'm gonna need some help with my homework now' Logan said.

'Alright, man!' Kurt screamed 'I found zhe prize!' Kurt took a little blue collar out of his mouth.

'Alright, dude, what does it say?' Scott asked.

'Please return to Xavier's school for the gifted' Kurt read out.

There was another eerie silence.

'Well, I'm off to bed' Xavier said, yawning.

'I need to get up early' Logan said 'for school'

'And I…er-' Scott left the room.

'So, Kurt…goodnight' Jean got up and left the room.

'Vas it something I said?'

The Professor came back in quickly.

'That's got to be the worst end of scene one-liner I've ever heard' He whined.

'Life isn't an entertaining cartoon series, Professor, and I'm not the funny foreign comic relief!'

Kurt shouted back, and left the room.

'Oh, he'll get his comeuppance' The Professor said to himself 'Oh yes he will'

Next Morning…

Wolverine was sitting at the kitchen table, eating his 'Super Her-O's' happily, smiling warmly to himself. Jean was at the stove making scrambled eggs, and occasionally, she'd look over at Logan and be proud. Scott was reading a newspaper, and once or twice, he would lower the pages just to see Logan happy. Kurt was eating some toast, and you could see, he would stop sometimes and smile to himself when seeing Logan so happy. Rogue, well, she didn't. And Chester was dead.

'Hey, Logan, did you manage to do all your homework?' Scott asked, gently folding up his paper.

'Yeah, Jean helped me with it yesterday' He leant back on his chair 'Thank you, Jean'

'Well, that's nice' Scott smiled.

'We then played Twister, didn't we Logan?' Jean asked.

'But it sucks' Scott butted it.

'Yeah, it was fun'

'Fun in a sucky way?' Scott asked.

'No' Logan looked confused 'Just generally enjoyable'

'Pfft. Whatever' Scott unfolded his newspaper and hid his face again.

'Hey, Kurt, did you take care of Chester's body?' Jean asked.

'Ja' Kurt nodded.

'…Okay…what did you do with it?'

'Um…vell-'

'Kurt, if I walk into the dining room right now, is Chester's body still going to be there?' Jean said, tapping her foot impatiently on the floor.

'No'

'I'm going to ask you again. If I walk into the dining room right now, is Chester's body still going to be there?'

'Yes'

Jean sighed and went into the dining room.

'Kurt, you are so lazy' Scott said.

'Shut up, man!'

'Hello hello hello' Came a new voice from the doorway. The X-men turned around to face, what looked like a military man, from England. His cap was green, with a red ribbon tied tightly around it. His coat was long and green, with golden buttons fastened to it, his moustache and beard were prominently ginger, and he had an army generals cane held under his arm. There were a large amount of medals attached to his breast pocket, and very large golden badge read. 'Maj. Romy.'

'Major Romy!' The X-men all shouted.

Ha! Bet Ya'll didn't expect that now, did ya! So, till next time here's a little preveiw:

'Hey, Scott, come and help me with Chester's body!' Jean called from the dining room.

'Hey, what?' Major Romy asked, in a very English accent.

'Um… Chester's our dog. He died yesterday, poor guy' Scott quickly said.