Continuing right where we left off...Also, you will eventually learn that any fic of mine concerning Omaeda will probably have 'Fried Rice Crackers' somewhere in the title or plotline...
"YAAAY! NEW PLAYMATES!" Yachiru exclaimed happily. Hopping off of Kenny's back, she happily ran after the other chibified baby Soul Reapers, who were now dashing off in opposite directions all around the Soul Society city.
Kenpachi and Omaeda were both quiet for a moment.
"OH CRAP! THIS IS BAD!" Omaeda cried out.
"YOU THINK?! HOW THE HELL DID THEY ALL END UP EATING THOSE ACCURSED FRIED RICE CRACKERS, ANYWAY?!" Kenpachi snapped back at him.
Suddenly, a high-pitched cackle came from behind them. Spinning around, Omaeda and Kenpachi saw Mayuri Kurotsuchi chuckling at their distress. Oddly enough, he was holding hands with a little Nemu, who was sucking on her thumb with a bored expression on her face.
"Ha ha ha! Do you like it?! They're cute, right?!" Mayuri snickered.
Striking a somewhat-cool pose, Omaeda exclaimed, "MAYURI, YOU BASTARD! YOU WERE THE ONE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?!"
"Uh...we knew that already, dumbass." Kenpachi commented.
Mayuri licked his lips with his long tongue and chuckled, "I've decided to use all of Soul Society as my subjects for my newest experiment: THE CHIBIFIER!"
"The...The Chibifier?!"
"Yes, the Chibifier! It turns any who digests the chemical into becoming cute little chibi versions of themselves! It's the pinnacle of my mad scientisticity!"
"...Is that even a word?"
"I SAY IT IS, SO IT IS! SUCK THAT...BITCH!"
Rubbing his forehead in annoyance, Kenpachi grunted, "So, you don't plan on turning anyone back at all, huh?"
Mayuri nodded. "That's exactly it! Bonus points for you, bitch!"
"Please don't call me that...but dude, you have a baby fetish, don't you? I mean, your bankai thing has a giant baby head, right?"
"YES...YES, I DO! AND BOY, DO I HATE MYSELF BECAUSE OF IT!"
Suddenly, Mayuri felt something tug on his robes. Glancing down, he saw chibi Soifon staring back up at him with big wide eyes.
'OH YEAH, I FORGOT SHE WAS STILL HERE!' Omaeda thought. He was really shocked by this fact for some reason.
"You...you did this to me, mister?" Soifon asked, cocking her head to the side.
"YES! YES I DID!" Mayuri boasted.
Then, Soifon leaped up to being at the same height as Mayuri's face, and she landed a powerful spin-kick to his face. "MOTHER...FUCKER!!!"
Blood spurt out of Mayuri's mouth as he was sent flying into the wall, and Nemu just watched this whole scene while still sucking her thumb.
Landing back on her feet, Soifon snarled and exclaimed, "I'LL TEACH YOU FOR MESSING WITH ME, YOU SON OF A BITCH!"
"I KNOW THOSE CRUEL, VIOLENT WORDS LIKE I WAS BORN WITH THEM!" Omaeda cried, so happy that he was weeping, "TAICHOU...YOU'RE BACK TO YOUR ORIGINAL STATE OF MIND!"
"That's right I am! It took a while to snap out of it...but even as a chibi, I can still be a badass!" Soifon proclaimed, brushing a few strands of hair out of her face.
'She's still really cute as a chibi, though...' Kenpachi thought to himself.
Picking himself up out of the rubble, Mayuri rubbed the large bruise on his cheek and screeched, "YOU...YOU FRICKIN' LITTLE CHIBI! I'LL TEACH YOU A LESSON FOR HITTING ME! HERE...DO THESE MATHEMATIC EQUATIONS...AND DIE! COME TO HITHER, SAJIN KOMAMURA!"
Suddenly, a loud roar shook all of Soul Society. Shrieking in fear, Omaeda cried, "OH NO! HE'S SUMMONED KOMAMURA TO KILL US!"
"...Why would Komamura even be working for this crazy bastard in the first place...?" Kenpachi grunted, acting like the straight-man as usual.
Without warning, a small black figure leaped over the wall and landed in front of Mayuri, letting out a low growl. It was Komamura...only he was now a puppy.
'I THOUGHT KOMAMURA WAS A FOX?!'
"OOH! PUPPY! I WANNA PET IT! IT'S SO CUUUUUUUTE! KAWAII!" squealed Soifon as she ran over to give the little doggie a hug.
Kenpachi noticed something odd. "Hey, I thought Soifon wasn't acting like a baby chibi anymore!"
"...She isn't..." Omaeda sighed.
"AWW...SO CUTE!" Soifon cooed as she ran her little chibi fingers over Komamura's head. He liked it so much that he actually sat down and started wagging his tail happily.
Slapping his palm against his face, Mayuri mumbled, "...Maybe I shoulda just fought instead..."
Kenpachi quickly pulled out his sword and held the edge of it near Mayuri's neck. "Listen here, buttmunch. You fix everything and put it all back to normal...or I go crazy. Which would you rather deal with...?"
Mayuri let out a shriek...and lost consciousness. Sighing, Kenpachi stuck his blade back into its sheath.
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! SO CCCUUUUUUTTE!" Soifon gushed, as she rubbed Komamura's belly.
Reaching down for her, Omaeda said, "Alright, taichou...let's go and return you to normal now-"
Suddenly, a familiar voice from behind exclaimed, "HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY...I came here...to see my lovely little Soifon-chaaaaaaan..."
Spinning around, Omaeda was horrorified to see it was Yoruichi...and she was as drunk as a skunk.
'Like usual...' Omaeda thought with a sigh.
Out of nowhere, the song 'Lucky' by Britney Spears began playing in the background. The reason, it turned out, was because chibi Tetsuzaemon Iba and chibi Shuhei Hisagi were trying to act like the Backstreet Boys for some reason. However, they were soon kicked away by an irate Kenpachi.
"I HATE THAT SONG, DAMMIT! PLAY 'TOXIC' INSTEAD...THAT'S BETTER!"
Realizing Yoruichi had arrived, Soifon gasped and cried, "Oh no! I can't let Yoruichi-mama see me like this! Omaeda, you fatass moron, do something quickly...OR I KILL YOU."
"Yeah...but we need to get Mayuri to make the antidote first, AND catch all the other chibified Soul Reapers who are running around!" Omaeda explained in desperation.
Always a step ahead, Kenpachi pulled out a hell butterfly, attached a letter to it, and then sent it flying off over the wall to who-knows-where.
'Hurry soon...mai waifu...'