MatchMakerYuffie
Final Fantasy VII
Acrimony Stealthe-Chan

Disclaimer: Acrimony does not own anything that is in this fanfiction (Keyword: fan) except the plotline. Even though it is incredibly cliché; Acrimony hopes to do it justice.

MatchMaker Yuffie
Chapter Two

"Alright! So first plan of attack is-" For some odd reason, I happen to be pointing at an incredibly shiny whiteboard with messy scrawls drawn across in what appears to be illegible Wutaiin accompanying the most squiggle-like lines I've ever laid my eyes upon, and to make matters worse, in my flawless hands, I'm grasping a straight, wooden stick. Does this just seem a tad bit un-normal to you?

"Oi, Princess, I can't read a thing on that board even if you're pointing at it with that unnatural twig!"

"Shut. Up." I growl back at the electronic creature of abomination. Why I even bothered to get Cait Sith to help is way beyond me now. He must have drugged me and forced me into getting him to help. No doubt!

"Oi, Oi. So let me just run through this 'plan' quickly. We're going to help- No wait. Help is the wrong word. We're going to hook up a vampyre and a chick with abnormally large boobs? Just so you can settle a score with Reeve?" His voice really can't pull of incredulity. Seriously. It sounds so retarded. Reeve should program it into Cait's system or something and make situations like these less idiotic.

"Uh. Yeah. You in?" I ask bluntly. No point in begging Cait to help. He must be 'willing'. Or… we could always pull out a bit of persuasion…

"Do I have much of a choice?" He asks in a dry tone. The only answer he'll receive from a higher being such as I is an imitation of Vinnie's classic death glare. But actually… technically it isn't a death glare since he always shoots them at people but they don't die… until he pulls out the Death Penalty and shoots 'em in the head. Very classy indeed, Vinnie.

I pretend to think about it before looking at Cait very pointedly and say 'Nah'. I swear; if robotic faces could do what they call 'falling' it would have. Wait a sec-

I tense as I hear footsteps approaching the empty room. Okay fine. It isn't empty. It was previously empty. Save for the ridiculously shiny whiteboard. I think it's made of some shiny material because I swear the shininess was calling me. Shows how shiny one must be to be called to such shininess.

"No look Lane-" Reno's obnoxious voice is cut as he flings open the previously empty room's door to be greeted with the abnormal shininess of the whiteboard and myself with Cait grinning like bloody idiots. His aquamarine eyes widening in surprise as the shininess of the whiteboard blinds him. But then he immediately tenses up as Cait starts to giggle uncontrollably in the robotic way that you do all the while pointing at Reno's still appallingly fluoro, green hair.

"Stop laughing ya stupid cat, mog hybrid whatever it is you are" Reno growls angrily as Elena stands next to him in a somewhat cocky pose. What's gotten into her all of a sudden?

"Hehe" Was all Cait said as he somersaulted upright as he had been literally Rolling on the Floor Laughing. It's surprising how people are starting to actually say it instead of doing it. Like recently, I heard Denzel and Marlene run screaming 'ROFL'. How the hell do they pronounce it? 'Roffell'? 'Rofeeel'?

But of course they didn't really get away with it since it drove Vinnie insane since no-one would enlighten the vampire to modern 'technological' language. But when he figured out he looked so damn stoned. Feh. I guess it was too much to expect from an ancient vampire. And then when Marlene started screaming 'Lol' in an incredibly strange way –saying 'Lawl'- he literally ran out of the Condo and instead ran towards a tree and stayed there for ages.

He claimed that the supposedly technological language of computers and the like was marring to his previously perfect vocabulary. But we're all quite sure he would have stayed in the tree for longer if it wasn't for a certain Miss Boobs who went to the tree and conversed with the vampyre for a while. I wonder what she said…

Feh. More proof that they are 'meant to be'.

"Ohgod! The whiteboard! You-You defiled it!" Elena suddenly shrieks as she finally notices the shiny whiteboard. But her eyes, I notice, aren't on the shininess… but the appallingly black squiggles scrawled across it. She notices the marker I had been using and whimpers in pain as she sees the words 'Permanent Marker' splayed across the thick writing instrument. Then she sees three more words on it in messy writing 'Property of Yuffie'.

"My- My Whiteboard!" She screeches and glares at me as she then tries to make sense of the scrawls I had doodled over her precious, shiny whiteboard.

"Hey…" Reno then joins Blondie as they attempt to decipher my writing, all the while grimacing and squinting in the effort. This causes an indignant squawk from me as I take this as an offence.

"My writing isn't that bad!"

No answer.

"Right?"

Still no answer.

"Brat? Who's 'Miss Boobs'?" Reno then asks as he manages to read and connect a few characters scribbled together. Elena bent down looking at the lines trying to make sense of it all.

"Who else in this place has a rack the size of most of my Materia Collection?" I answer back dryly. The insult on my handwriting still raw. I refuse to take kindly to these fiends whom insulted my writing so!

"Wait a second…" Elena then mutters and looks at me. The look of sheer scepticism dancing across her features as she finally understands what I had scribbled across her precious shiny whiteboard.

"You're trying to use Miss Lockheart to kill the vampyre!"

My look of triumph falls as soon as she gets past the word 'to'. Reno stands up abruptly and an arrogant is placed on his face as he listens to what Elena said.

"I'm in!" He says loudly. I swear his voice needs a muffler. It could make anyone go deaf.

"NO. We are NOT killing Vinnie! That's like… Reno murdering REEVE or something!" I counter back.

"Now that you mention it… that plan was scheduled for sometime this day…"

"No you Moron! I don't give what you're going to do with Reeve –providing I get the Materia- but we aren't killing Vinnie! We're hooking him up with Tifa!" I argue.

"I see. We're in"

Tifa's POV

"What?" I ask dully looking sharply at the blonde sitting in front of me; my hands were grasping a cloth tightly as I scrubbed at a dirty Alcohol glass. Elena grinned childishly and merely blinked back.

Behind her sauntered in one of the younger members of our troupe. AVALANCHE. Ah. Yuffie Kisaragi. What with her addiction to Materia and shiny objects and whatnot? Her stormy eyes always having that spark of impish behaviour. Her beloved 'Conformer' always close to her. There were many things that made Yuffie Kisaragi, Yuffie Kisaragi.

I could tell a faint blush was spreading over my cheeks as I continued to blink at the Turk in front of me. Yuffie walking towards us and sitting lazily on one of the seats next to Elena.

"I said what I said Tifa, don't play dumb" Elena teases as she sweeps locks of her blonde hair out of her eyes. I sigh and then mutter an inaudible answer. Only to then walk away from the pair as they exchange evil grins with each other.

"Tifa? Is anything wrong?" Cloud's nonchalant voice inquires as he comes to stand next to me. I smile in my usual cheerful way and mutter a quick 'no'. Usually I'd try to keep talking to Cloud, but today my mind was on other things.

"Doesn't seem like it" He answers back and walks silently towards his room. His spiky blonde hair swaying at the tips as he blinks slowly, covering his pretty blue eyes. There was a time when I'd be gushing over him. Dying for him to look at me with compassion or any other emotion than indifference with those pretty eyes.

But now… Now that she was gone.

I think both of us died a little. Not only did I lose one of my best friends… I lost a rival in most matters. They say that once your Rival is gone there is perhaps not much point in living. That, which is where your story ends. It was true for Cloud. What happened to him after he destroyed Sephiroth that one more time? Other than a blast of publicity on AVALANCHE which was over very soon, nothing happened. He went on with nothing to motivate him. For there was no need to be motivated at all.

I used to think that I couldn't wait for her to go. To just leave us and let me make my moves with Cloud. But now that she is gone. I can't say I really feel the same way. It was always obvious to me that Cloud loved her and not me. I used to blind myself. Saying that he only thought he loved her, as Zack did love her. And Cloud had thought he was Zack.

But I knew I was only lying to myself. Deceiving myself. Out of spite. Cloud didn't always think he was Zack. But still he loved her and not me. Cloud never saw me as more than a friend. And perhaps that's all we'll ever be. Friends. But better friends. Then nothing at all.

I quickly send a quick prayer to her. I know she's still out there. The last Cetra. She must be there. In the Life Stream. Aeris.

I blink back into reality as a sharp jab is aimed at my side. Quick as a flash my gloved hands move to grab the hand that jabbed me and twisted it in a very… painful manner. A yelp of pain was heard as I laid brown eyes on the twitching girl I was holding in an agonizing manner.

Quickly I released her hand and giggle girlishly as an apology as she massages her hand tenderly. Her stormy eyes a picture of cheer as she mock-glares at me.

"Sorry Yuffie. I was uhm… Spaced out?"

"Heh. Well. Now we know. Lockheart has some serious reflexes"

"You need serious reflexes in the Martial Arts business Yuffie, or else you'll get attacked and by the time you can comprehend it you'll most likely be held in a death grip" I reply with a grin.

"Anyway Teef. Want to go with me and Laney to the shops? I mean, that is unless Vinnie has snow gear tucked away in this place somewhere?"

I blink again.

"Yeah. Sure"

Yuffie's POV

Booyeah! Miss Boobs down. Vampyre to go! I'm grinning like an idiot again. It seems to be a habit now. Ah well.

"Vinniiiiiieeee!" I shriek.

I can tell he's wincing as a spasm of annoyance crosses his deathly, pale features. He steps out of his room, coffin, whatever with his cape billowing behind him.

"Comeshoppingwithme,Laney,Reno,CaitandTifapleaseVinnie?"

He blinks slowly. Geez. What is it with people and blinking these days? I can blink too!

"Shopping?"

"Yeah! Cause Cait's gonna carry my stuff, Reno's gonna carry Laney's stuff and you have to carry Tifa's stuff because that's the way it is!"

He sweat drops at my made-up statements and looks as though he's about to say no but-

"PLEAAAAAAAAAASE?"

He sighs.

"Alright"

Heh. Sucker.

A/N: Under the newest revival of fandom, Acrimony is now going through and editing the story. She apologises for any inconveniences. The editing will not severely change much of the story line, but the writing will be brought 'up-to-par' with Acrimony's current writing prowess. Also, Acrimony will be removing all unnecessary review replies; but she does thank all reviewers for the lovely feedback that has kept this story's heart beating strong.

--Acrimony, 10th of August, 2007