Mills couldn't believe what he was seeing. Casey and his girl holding hands? Casey kissing Gabby's hand?
"What the hell is going on?" yelled Mills, his voice way too loud for the quiet of the ICU. Soft beeps and the sound of oxygen coursing through ventilators was the norm for this floor. Mills' voice reverberated through the hall where too many patients were clinging on to life.
"Pete, sshhhh!" whispered Dawson with anger mounting in her eyes. Casey released her hand and the comforting moment was gone. "Pete, calm down. There is nothing going on. Casey and I are just worried about Kelly," Dawson continued making sure to keep her voice just low enough so that Shay would not hear.
"And I'm NOT worried? Don't bullshit me Gabby! I've seen the way he looks at you! And that little warning he gave me about treating you right? I am not a child. I know what's going on. If you want Casey, you got it!" Mills' voice was so loud there was no chance of Shay not hearing.
"Pete, this isn't about you or me or Casey! That's Kelly, right there!" Dawson said pointing at their friend lying in a hospital bed, almost unrecognizable with all the tubes hooked up to him.
"I know. I just really needed you tonight," said Mills quieting down. Shay was slowly making her way off Kelly's bed and all Dawson could think was that she had to get Peter out of there now.
"Casey, thanks. Really, thanks for everything," Dawson said squeezing his arm. "I think I better get Mills out of here. Text me if there's any change and keep an eye on our girl. I'll make her go home to shower and change clothes tomorrow. There's no chance she's leaving his side tonight," Gabby said with a sadness in her voice not lost on the lieutenant.
"No problem," replied Casey tersely, disappointment in his eyes. He wanted to say so much more, but this moment was definitely not the right one.
Dawson grabbed Mills' arm and led him down the hall to the elevator. Tonight was not the night to talk to him about their relationship. That night would come soon enough.
"Gabby, I'm sorry. I just can't believe everything that has happened. I know you are with me; I just sort of lost it. Tell me everything will be okay. Tell me we are okay," pleaded Mills looking into Dawson's eyes with the desperation of a man who could handle not one more thing that night. The desperation of a man who was about to break.
"Yeah, Pete. We're okay," lied Dawson not quite meeting his eyes.
Shay had heard the yelling but didn't want to leave Kelly's side. She honestly felt that if she stepped out of his room he might die. She knew it was ridiculous. It made no sense, but she felt like her lying next to him, willing him to live was keeping him alive.
When she saw Peter Mills' face through the glass, she began to gently get off of Kelly's bed. You have got to be kidding me, she thought. You didn't do enough damage tonight? By the time she reached the door, Dawson and Mills were gone. She saw Casey and opened the door, waving him in. He immediately drew her into his arms, hugging her tightly. They clung to each other for several minutes hanging on for dear life, hanging on to hope, hanging on for their friend. They didn't say a word to each other. Shay finally let go, her face wet with tears, and headed back to Kelly's bed. Casey pulled a chair closer to the bed and settled in for the night.
Kelly's condition stayed the same that night, no improvement but no emergencies either. Doctors and nurses were constantly in his room checking tubes and lines, taking him for more CT scans to check for internal bleeding, replacing drips, it was a constant buzz in his room, everyone having the same goal in mind - keeping this man alive.
"Honey, why don't you get something to eat? Take a few minutes for yourself. I won't leave your husband's side until you get back," said one of the nurses hoping Shay would take her up on the offer.
Shay didn't have the energy to explain her relationship with Kelly, so she just let the assumption of husband and wife alone. She had long been kicked out of the bed and was slumped in a chair next to Casey. "Umm, I will take some coffee if you don't mind," asked Shay looking at Casey.
"I don't mind at all," replied Casey easing slowly out of the chair, back aching. "But you are going to have to leave this room eventually, Shay."
"I know. I can't right now," said Shay looking at Kelly lying so still, the only movement was the rise and fall of his chest caused by the machine that was breathing for him. "I don't want to miss the doctor when he comes by."
"Okay, I'll be right back," replied Casey not pushing the matter, not yet at least.
"Oh my God! Kelly, son!" yelled Benny Severide as he rushed through the door. "What happened? Is he hooked up to a ventilator?"
Shay had called Benny while Kelly was in surgery, but the elder Severide was on a fishing trip with his buddies. It would take several hours for him to arrive. Well, now he had definitely arrived.
Benny rushed to his son's side. "Where is the doctor? What is all this attached to him? I need to see his doctor now!" Benny was in full assault mode and Shay would have none of it.
"Benny, you need to keep your voice down or shut the hell up. Kelly doesn't need this. He needs quiet. You need to get your shit together or get the hell out," said Shay in a fierce whisper. Calming Benny down was helping Shay get control herself. She had a purpose right now. She wasn't hanging in limbo, staring at her best friend, willing him to open his eyes.
"Shay, what happened? What's wrong with him?" Benny asked in a much quieter tone, embarrassed by his outburst. Shay reached out to hug him and took a deep breath.
"There's a lot wrong with him. The doctor should be by soon making rounds to update us. It was an apartment fire that went wrong, just a chain of events that led to this," Shay was trying to keep her voice steady.
"He's going to be okay?" asked Benny knowing he didn't want a truthful answer.
"Hell yeah," said Shay forcing a smile that she hoped looked somewhat real.
Back at Firehouse 51 things were too quiet, no calls, no conversation, just the worried looks of Severide's fellow firefighters, his family.
"Jesus, why haven't we gotten one call? Why hasn't Shay texted us back? Casey too?" said Cruz to no one in particular.
Casey walked in at that exact moment looking like hell. He hadn't slept at all, just stared at Severide and Shay all night. He wanted nothing more than to go home and shower, but he knew his team needed to see him. Needed to hear from him.
"Casey, what do you know?" Boden asked the concern evident in his voice.
"Nothing really guys. He's alive, that's the good news. His condition hasn't changed at all. I didn't get to see the doctor, but Shay said she would call as soon as she saw him."
"How is Shay? How's she holding up?" asked Mouch truly concerned for the paramedic he held a soft spot for. He knew Leslie's tough exterior and equally tough mouth hid the real Shay - a woman who cared for every victim with the same compassion whether it was a junkie or a stockbroker.
"She's okay I guess. Benny showed up when I was leaving, so Shay had her hands full. Dawson's going to try to get her out of there today. We just have to wait," Casey said knowing that no one in this firehouse was particularly good at that.
"Kelly is one tough son of a bitch. He didn't make it through his neck surgery to be taken out by this fire. We need to be patient and pray," said Boden with a softer tone than usual. He, like Casey, knew that patience was a virtue not many of his men held, including himself. He also knew he had to have a difficult conversation with a candidate today. He was not looking forward to that but avoiding difficult situations was not his style.
Mills wasn't on shift but came in a few hours later. Dawson was heading back to the hospital and he couldn't just hang out at his apartment. He was going stir crazy. He needed his friends. Most of all he needed to know that Lieutenant Severide would be okay. He pushed the events of the night out of his mind, a self defense mechanism, but that would soon change.
"Mills, in my office," said Boden as soon as he saw Peter. The difficult part was about to kick in.
The two men walked into Boden's office and Mills started speaking, "Chief, I know I screwed up. But I also know I was about to get Severide out of there..."
"I am the one doing the talking! You are doing the listening, and I suggest you really listen, you take in every word I say if you have any future here at 51," said Boden losing his cool fast. "The first part of what you said is correct. You did screw up. Severide is in bad shape and even if he survives he is in for a whole lot of pain. You are taking a step back," said Boden slowly.
"But Chief, I know," began Mills feeling the situation leading to a place he didn't want to go.
"Don't interrupt me again," Boden said with dead calm in his voice. "What I KNOW is that you are not accepting the reality of the situation. You are still fooling yourself thinking you were going to miraculously haul Kelly out of there with one hand. If Casey had not gotten up there when he did I would have two men in the hospital right now, or worse. Now, what IS going to happen is that you are taking a step back. You are going to be on truck with no moves to squad until I say, if that ever comes. You are going to be happy on truck, satisfied on truck, and you are going to serve your time on truck just like everyone else. Now go home or go to your mother's and wait for me to call you!"
Mills was furious but knew not to say one word. He nodded his head and walked out of Firehouse 51, head down, without looking at or talking to anyone.
Back at the hospital,,,
Dawson walked to Kelly's room to see Shay and Benny sitting side by side, chairs touching, arms around each other, and the same worried looks on their faces. Shay's face lit up slightly when she saw her friend.
She walked to the door and whispered, "Come in. They've given up trying to tell us what to do so you can come in. The doctor had some good news. He said Kelly's chances have gone up since he survived the night. That's good, right?" Shay said looking at her roommate not quite believing her own words.
Benny nodded at Dawson knowing it was time to give these two a minute alone. "I'm getting coffee and I'm going get this girl something to eat," he said with a weak smile as he walked out of the room. Dawson nodded returning her attention back to her best friend.
"He's got so much wrong with him, Gabby. He's in bad shape," Shay's voice broke, the tough girl routine over.
"I know," shushed Dawson taking her friend in her arms. "But you know what else I know? He is going to wake up, then he's going to come off that vent, then he's going to come home." Shay desperately needed to hear those words. And it seemed Kelly needed to hear those words. As if on cue, he let out a loud moan and began grabbing furiously for the tube in his mouth.
Aahhhh! The pain Kelly felt was like nothing he had experienced. His arm, neck, and shoulder had been killing him for the months preceding his neck surgery, but he had found relief through those magical little pills Anna gave him. Kelly knew those pills wouldn't have touched the pain he was currently feeling; they wouldn't have been allowed to get near the torture he was experiencing. How could every part of his body be screaming in agony? And what the hell was in his mouth? His left arm would move so he was reaching for the foreign object with that hand. Kelly tried to make his right arm move but it felt like his shoulder was being literally ripped out. Aaahhh! It was the only sound he could make and he was damn sure making it.
Shay and Dawson were on both sides of him. Dawson was holding down his left arm and Shay was talking to him, telling him to stop, telling him he was going to be alright, telling him the tube in his throat was helping him breathe. Kelly heard none of it. A minute earlier, he had been in a sweet oblivion of pain free dreaming, not remotely aware of the fuss going on around him. Now, he was in full distress. Waking up could be a bitch. A nurse ran in and gave him a rather large dose of morphine. Kelly immediately relaxed and could make out the face of his girl, Leslie Shay.
"Shay," he said simply.
Those were the best words Shay had ever heard from her roommate.