Tris's POV
I wake up with a feeling of joy coursing through me. It jolted through every inch of me the moment I saw Tobias's comforting blue eyes staring at me. But then I remember that I'm not beautiful or stunning or even the least bit attractive and can feel the embarrassment color my cheeks when I lower my eyes in shame. Instead of moving away Tobias comes closer to me, so close that I can see the flecks of different blues in his eyes. He puts his mouth right next to my ear and whispers, so low that his words are barely audible, "Beautiful." He puts his hand on my stomach and I feel frozen. It's as if he is trying to remind me of all the times that I had felt so special because of him. The time in training where he told me to never forget to keep tension in my core. The time we spent the night in the partially furnished hotel room right before we trained Caleb. Oh just remembering that gives me butterflies. It was the very first time someone, some guy, called me beautiful and the very first time I believed it. Tears of joy spring into my eyes. The memory of his hands on my hips, his lips pressed against the skin between his long hands, make the tears spill over and run down my face.
He strokes my hair. Tobias seems to enjoy feeling my hair, so much that it is just natural for him to do so. Every time we kiss his hands ruffle my hair. Now and then I even catch him subconsciously stroking it.
Suddenly, it feels wrong. This whole moment just doesn't feel right. And it annoys me. I can feel my eyebrows pull together as I get up and walk over to sit on the couch, away from Tobias. But as soon as I sit down, I immediately feel guilty.
What is wrong with me? Why can't I just allow myself to have a peaceful moment with Tobias?, I think to myself as I wrap my arms around my knees that I had pulled to my chest and bury my head. More tears. I quickly brush them away with my fingers and shiver when the cold metal of my ring makes contact with my cheekbone. Tobias and I have identical rings except for the engravings on the inside of each ring. On the inside of my ring the engraving reads, "VI". On the inner surface of his ring it says, "IV". Four and Six. Those nicknames are our past, all the good times and the bad.
I glanced over at Tobias through my tears and can see the familiar hurt look in his eyes. I have to look away. The memories overcome me and in my mind I see Tobias's hurt expression after I told him that he was in my fear landscape. I see him when he was pleading, begging, for me to stay away from the Erudite headquarters. "Tris?" I hear him ask, but I don't respond. I am too distracted by my extreme hunger. I feel as if I haven't eaten in days.
I stare at my stomach as if questioning why I am so ravenous. Then it grumbles the loudest I have ever heard my stomach, or any one else's, grumble in my life. Out of my peripheral vision I see Tobias. His look of hurt is now replaced by curiosity. He examines me from where he sits as if trying to put a puzzle together, but not quite able to figure out where the last few pieces fit.
Then Tobias laughs and says, "Someone must be hungry." He's great this way, always letting things go.
"Yeah, I guess," I say, still guilty about leaving him.
"We can go to the bakery today if you want. I heard they have chocolate chip muffins." He suggests. I am suddenly hit with an immense craving for chocolate. My mouth waters at even the thought of it.
It all comes together and I almost scream. It takes everything in my power to hold it in.
"Mmmm. That sounds great, Tobias." I say so he isn't suspicious, but then I remember that I need to ask Christina about it. "Can I invite Christina to come with us? There's something I need to talk to her about."
He shakes his head yes and I feel a little relief. He gets up and walks over to me, giving me a quick kiss on the forehead before he goes into the bathroom to take a shower.
Now that the Erudite are no longer in control, everyone is allowed to have cellphones. I grab my purse and begin to desperately dig through it, searching for my cellphone. I finally find it and frantically dial her number.
The phone rings for a little before Christina picks up.
"Hello?" she asks, still groggy from sleep.
"It's Tris. I need you to come to the bakery with Tobias and me this morning." I say everything so fast that she probably can't keep up.
"Why?" she asks.
"I need you to bring the thing." I state simply. She knows what I'm talking about without any questions because she excitedly screams,"REALLY?!"
"Yes." I say. This doesn't feel real. It can't be real.
"Tris, is something wrong?" she asks, concerned.
"What about Tobias? What if he isn't happy? What will he think of me?"
"I don't know for sure, but I see the way he looks at you. I'm sure he'll be thrilled."
"Hopefully. Anyway... bye, I'll see you in a bit." I say as I hear the shower water stop running. I hang up the phone and can't resist looking at my torso in the mirror, searching for a change. I don't find one and don't want to risk Tobias seeing me stare, so I just walk over to our bed. I flop, face first, onto Tobias' s pillow. All I want to is lie here, breathing him in. His smell makes me feels safe, it always has. I begin to drift off, already tired from this morning though the day has barely begun.
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