Okay. This is chapter, two. Hope you all like it – House rules! If anyone has any good suggestions for sarcastic comments to deflect the attention away from his illness, please leave them in a review, or IM me. I could do with the help!

Note I have absolutely NO medical knowledge; everything I mention in this chapter I got from the NHS online service, and I made some leaps of logic. My apologies for any inaccuracies.

Disclaimer: Don't own, so I'd like it if you didn't sue me…and so would you, as I have no money…

Hope you enjoy – I'd like any comments, good or bad…but particularly good!

House sighed heavily as he lowered himself into a chair. He'd only been in work for an hour, and he was already exhausted. He'd limped into the office to be greeted by the news that Cuddy had assigned them a new case. Normally he would have moaned about her lack of respect for his workload, but he just couldn't be bothered today. He'd made do with a mild comment about her sexual desires and a reference to Chase's hair, and had started them on the differential diagnosis.

He was yet again shocked by the kind of cases that the other doctors deemed worthy of his department. It wasn't exactly unusual for a three year old to have a red and puffy eye, even if there was no apparent cause. Nor was it unusual for him to refuse to do anything for hours at a time. If it wasn't for the fact that other people apparently had moral obligations, he'd have thought that Cuddy was purposely making a big deal of an eye infection. Even so, he'd sent his team off to re-do a bunch of basic tests in case the "terrifically talented, fresh out of med-school, Oh dear, the patient appears to be dead" doctors on the first floor had missed something obvious. Like an eye infection.

He refused to even contemplate the possibility that he may have sent his team away partly so that they would have less opportunity to observe him. He wasn't feeling much worse, but he certainly wasn't feeling any better either, and the tickle in his throat that had caused him to cough so much earlier was making a re-appearance. Leaving his cane hooked on the table, he hobbled over to the sink and poured himself a glass of water, sipping it thoughtfully as he contemplated his symptoms. Headache, fever, general aches and pains, or at least more than usual…he doubled over suddenly in a wracking cough, pain shooting through his head and leg at the sharp movements. Oh yes, he thought absently as his body tried to evict his lungs; mustn't forget the cough...

It was nearly five minutes later that the fit started to fade. Gasping for breath, House gulped down the rest of his water, trying to sooth his burning throat. Probably a chest cold, he thought; maybe the flu, or bronchitis…nothing he considered serious. He was sure Wilson would disagree though, as would Cameron, who seemed to have noticed something was wrong with her boss, despite his attempts to hide it. He was pretty sure that Foreman thought he was hung-over, and Chase probably agreed, though he'd never dare to say anything. Wuss.

"That's a nasty cough you've got" House was startled out of his thoughts by Wilson's unruffled tones. He glanced up to find his friend leaning in the doorway, arms folded over his chest, one eyebrow raised. House limped carefully back to the table, leaning back in his seat and propping up his bad leg on the chair opposite. He twirled his cane idly as he replied "must've swallowed wrong. Water can be extremely dangerous when in the wrong hands. Look at 'the evil aqua man'"

He didn't even need to look at Wilson to know that the eyebrow had just climbed to previously unknown heights. Wiping a hand over his face, House fumbled for his pills, dry swallowing two, determinedly not wincing as they pushed past his sore throat. "I'm impressed, by the way. It only took you," he checked his watch "70 minutes to find your way back upstairs. Might be a new record." He tried for an irritating grin, but didn't quite pull it off, his leg, obviously jealous of the attention he was giving the rest of his aching body, choose that moment to remind him of its presence, and his face twisted into a grimace. Wilson opened his mouth to comment, but House was saved by his team hurrying through the door, giving him a fleeting moment of pleasure as Chase veered to avoid Wilson and nearly walked into the wall.

Completely ignoring Wilson, he turned to his team, "Well? Is our 'ickle twooper' actually a case?" As Chase was still recovering from his near miss and Foreman was obviously trying to work out what they'd interrupted, it was Cameron who answered.

"The tests were clear. No infection, no sting, no wound of any kind."

"It's nothing. The only thing wrong with him is the eye and a snotty nose. It'll clear up by itself."

Chase had evidently sufficiently recovered to give his opinion, but Cameron scowled and continued "There's still the periods of unresponsiveness. We don't know what's causing that." Foreman intervened, arguing "He's a stubborn kid. He's just sulking. Didn't you ever ignore everyone when you were a kid?"

"Of course not, Doctor Cameron has been morally perfect from the day she was born, and was always an adorable child. You're all wrong." House jeered from the table.

"I was…what?" Cameron seemed torn between looking indignant and confused. House smirked at her, and continued. "You're wrong. The kid has a headache. Or, to be precise, lots of headaches."

Foreman was shaking his head. "He hasn't complained of pain…" "No. But he is suffering from headaches. Cluster headaches. Extreme and sudden pain on one side of the head, lasts for periods of 1 to 3 hours, sometimes causes one eye to swell up and one nostril to get all icky, occurs in about one in a thousand people, 80 percent of whom are male. Accounts for the eye, the 'snotty nose' and the periods of unresponsiveness. Give the parents some pain killers to give him when it hurts and send him back to nursery." House swallowed painfully; his throat was not enjoying this. Looking up, he saw that his team was still there, staring at him, as was Wilson, much to his annoyance.

"Well? Why are you still here?" He snapped. "Go and tell his parents, he's missing finger-painting."

Cameron got over her shock first. "If it's cluster headaches, why isn't he complaining of pain, or crying? He's only three; he's hardly going to be being macho."

"I was an extremely macho three year old." Shot back House, "but I'm gonna go for door number three today. The kid's autistic. Doesn't show emotion or sensation too well." He ignored Wilson's murmured "sounds like somebody I know", and continued "Might not even recognise the pain, if he's had them all his life. Get the psych ward to diagnose him before he leaves. And clear off." Picking up his cane, he limped into his office, slumping into his chair and picking up his gameboy with an air of studied nonchalance, but desperately hoping to be left alone so that he could let the pain show, even if just for a moment. His leg and head were throbbing in tandem, his throat was on fire, he was about to launch into another coughing fit, and he thought his fever had risen noticeably in the last hour. He couldn't believe it was only lunchtime.

Well! That's it for another chapter – a bit of a filler, but better than nothing, I hope! Thanx to everyone for the reviews, I have been hyper for days. Woop. Seriously, they all made my day; I'm so pleased that people are enjoying this. I'm gonna do individual replies here, but for future chapters, I'll probably IM you, so don't get angry with me.

Okay, so here goes:

MisunderstoodandForlorn : My first reviewer! I hope you still think that House is in character even after this chapter…

KS-fan : Thanx, I agree with you about Wilson – I love the way he is with House! Not too sure what you mean by House/Wilson hurt/comfort – it's not gonna be a ship fic at all, as far as I'm aware, if that's what you mean, but there will be lots of Wilson worrying etc. Hope you like the bit in this chapter, even if it is a bit short…

Dyslexic Crayon : I love your user name! You are absolutely right about the infarction; I've changed it now – how embarrassing. Though I wouldn't' be surprised if House had been in jail, at least fro a night!

gh2005 : Thanx! Hope this is soon enough.

The Swordsman : Good to know. Hope you enjoyed this chapter.

phm : I think you write great reviews – at least you write them! And like the whole House in pain stuff isn't unusual at all – see my profile – there's a whole community of character bashers!

AtreidesHeir : Thanx! I've gotta say, that was also my favourite part – it was great fun to write. I've corrected the spelling now, thanx again. Hope I got the American parts in this correct…

Jon'ic Recheio: Cheers!

gypsy-butterfly : Ooooh, I'm blushing! Thanx!

blank : Thanx for the review, even if you're not sure what your pen name is. I also love sick House fics – if you want to read more, check out my C2 and my favourites – there are quite a few out there…

AEW (im too lazy to log in) : Thank you for the advice, I would find that extremely traumatic. Please eat something – but not before you review again, hyper is good!

Rin Innakita: Thanx for the warning, but I'm also reading that excellent fic and intend to take this one in a different direction…

imanaddict : Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Will be more House/Wilson chatting soon…

Dani : I hope this was fast enough – I am very slow by nature, but this is fun!

charmedbabywyatt : Ah, a fellow Charmed fan! Thanx for the review…

n.r.kiecks : Glad you thought so, thanx!

If I forgot anyone, feel free to flame me, I'd deserve it! Hope you enjoyed…I'll update when I can, but that may be tomorrow or next year, so don't hold your breath. Reviews may speed me up, so you could try if you like it, but no promises…I am extremely lazy!